satinmemoirs

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satinmemoirs posts

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Mid life crisis

You can definitely say that I am having one of those

Full Set, Experimental Dreams, Study of Self, June 2023

From when I shot part 2 from this series. This is my recent fabuloso soak. I am happy with the results, I did something different this time and I think I like it both ways i make it. So happy to share this with you finally! My hibiscus is doing so great outside, things are starting to look up for me but I’m not getting too excited yet. I got a housekeeping job that i won’t be able to start for another week. They officially did offer me a job so that does make me feel better for now. The hour...

Full set, And My Body, Study of Self, June 2023 on Black Orchid

Souped, shot, developed, and scanned by me ✨ First few images with DSLR scanning. It has been fun experimenting with every single aspect of DSLR shooting. I really love how the roll came out, it isn’t the best roll to test first since it was double exposed and also souped - but I was just so excited to see these results. I’ve been dying. Today was almost worse than yesterday because I got rear ended. Sucks to say that thankfully there wasn’t any substantial damage that i need to fix. But...

Early access: From Study of Self, And My Body series June 2023

My light sources came yesterday! I played around with it yesterday a bunch and scanned my first roll. I decided to do the black orchid double expo roll from this series. It will take some getting used to DSLR scanning but I am into it. This roll was softer in general because of it being souped and doubled exposed, so I’ll be working on clean rolls at some point today too to see what that’s like. I love how the souped roll came out, this roll. Money was actually stolen from my bank account ye...

black orchid

sneak peak. some very rigged iPhone pics of my souped double exposure negative lol. I am excited to scan this, it’s the EDU roll of the black orchid batch I did last. I really love the contrast. It’s been a hectic but good week. I am about to have scanning capabilities as of next week as well as developing! I ordered my equipment this week, really really poor before but I am happy to have been able to do this. I have so many rolls I need to get scanned and can finally do them, MYSELF. Which ...

Full set - Study of Self, June 2023, P2

Finished the second part of my series this morning. I drove for a little while, always thinking about a ton of things at once when I do that. I wasn't sure what the weekend would bring, because I am an uber driver, even though I come into contact with humans all the time, I never have any engagement aside from short conversations here and there. When I have the house to myself and so much time to be in my head, it ends up being bad for me and I get sucked into a bad feeling. The worries that...

Full Set, Morning Light, June 2023, Part I

From yesterday morning in my room. Since then I've wanted to extend this shoot by another layer, so part II coming soon :) I used 4 of my favorite cameras, creating a montage from this project as well. I have been working on my photography stuff more which has been nice and productive for me. I am making a film soup menu of my experimental films that I am re-creating and I will have them available again soon :) I will share once its done in case you would like to order! I am also super pumpe...

bts from this am

Study of self, June 2023, sharing iPhone pics from just a bit ago in my room this morning. Discovering new pockets of light in here ❤️ I have many goals I want to accomplish hopefully this month. Hoping I can be completely set up for film scanning and development in my house by the end of the month. I am the main person that has scanned my work, it’s hard to let someone else. I took so much film and used these cameras shown. I’ll be editing tonight and will share as soon as I’m done wi...

Full Set*And My Body, Study of Self, MAY&JUNE

Sharing the photos from my recent sesh this week, included a lot of black and whites because I am always so torn <3 In our backyard, the stream is fully flowing. I connect with this place so much. Looking forward to getting a lot of film developed next week! I am craving my cinestill and film scans. These are from Wednesday, before I continued with my double expo project. Thinking I can finish it tonight :) I appreciate every one of you supporting me and my work, it makes me feel like I can keep...

bts from today

spent the last few days shooting outside, the digitals i took I will share tomorrow :) Today I worked on the second half of my bnw soup double exposures, I am about half way through. I can’t wait to develop already haha. Wanted to share these iPhone photos, i loved the light. Sometimes i get tired of my perspective and i try to change it up on myself, been tired this week. But felt good to be outside in mosquitos and off spray ✨❤️ more photos coming 😊

yesterday

yesterday I took my first plunge into water for the first time in a while. (the Colorado river is freezing). I am glad I went, it did open my eyes to how much work I need to do with my body. I am not as strong as I was a few years ago, feeling like I need to start all over. The initial contact with water i needed so badly. I wanted to scream under water. I didn’t sleep well last night, nor do I feel well today, but yesterday was a good day. I felt like I woke up. Depression episodes I’ve had...

red, full set ❤️

Imagining the woman I want to be. Trying to show up as her, for myself. I think things are going to smooth out, it feels like this summer will be fun. My mom is doing better, thankfully. started the other half of my double exposures, can’t wait to develop it and see what happened. I had the thought today that even though I have loved and lost a few times, I still truly am thankful to have had those moments and felt those feelings. The capacity to love another honestly, I have that.

day to day

sprout hasn’t gotten in frame with me in a very long time ❤️ this is us on any given day. I look like a bum but I am so comfy. todays been a good day for us. We had a good brushing session, all of the people I drove today were nice and tipped well, i even got a check in the mail for $140 unexpectedly haha. I love this angel, she is everything to me. The only thing. She’s given me so much love and I give her so much too.

October Sunset

Feeling inspired to do things with my experimental film, 2-4 were some images taken with a projector. Some of my original soaks, Ajax & diluted honey and some other goodies 💗 the last one is an image from that roll that I’m trying to print on stuff right now haha. The soup was from “October Sunset” 🌅 I wanted to share with you on this lovely friday 🎐

Egyptian Jasmine🌸 full set

the incense burning, the mood ive been having. been loving the last few days, really have been good days. I am working on a design for canvas tote bags, stickers, etc. I really cant wait until I can try that out :) I've also been working on my photography business and building packages like I want <3 the darkest part of my hair shown here, the part that never sees light.

where the moths hang, in color, full set ✨

the color versions of my latest self portraits. Most of my work is going to be here now, on my patreon. I have shared quite a bit here so far. In terms deeper than numbers. I would like to think that once I share and put something out there, it can be received or seen by someone that will know what it is. I’m working on a lot of things right now, trying to stay more focused on my dream and business and less about the things keeping me down. When there’s been so much negativity in my life, it...