v-rustl
patreon
#266 Meat Reincarnation
🕑 Added 2021-10-27 12:01:03 +0000 UTCAccording to our ancestors, anything is edible if we grind them.
...Or so they say. Don't quote me.
For example, wheat.
Wheat is hard and inedible on its own but can be delicious if you grind it into flour, add water, knead, and bake it into bread.
Grinding is what connects all the food.
So...
This brings us to the souvenir boar meat.
I feel bad for Mr. Shax, but the meat we catch on our own tastes much better (cushioning the blow).
I don’t like eating bad (bluntly put) food, but I also can’t bring myself to needlessly destroy something that once had a life of its own.
So, there’s only one sensible idea: process the lousy food into good food.
This way, the food won’t be wasted, and our taste buds will be happy.
The processing method to be used is the “grinding” I mentioned earlier.
Once it is thoroughly grounded, it can be transformed into a completely different food.
The ground form of meat is minced meat.
And what meat dish is made with minced meat?
“...Hamburger steak!”
Hamburger steaks are originally made of beef, but we shouldn’t be nitpicky about the details now.
I had all the ingredients for a hamburger, so I made some.
I kept tossing the patty in between my hands at ultra-high speed to get the air out of them.
Everyone loved the resulting product, especially the kiddie group like Veil and the earth spirits.
“Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!!!”
“It’s delicious! It’s delicious!!! It has a unique texture!!!”
...Wait, kiddie group?
I guess that’s a bit of a misleading term.
I’m surprised I haven’t made hamburger steak all this time, but I’ll be sure to include it in our main menu from now on.
Still, our main problem of leftover gifted meat persists.
There are plenty of us on the farm, so Mr. Shax must have thoughtfully prepared this many.
But I can’t possibly make all of them into hamburgers.
We’d grow sick of eating it over time, plus my wrist would die from kneading the minced meat over and over.
“Maybe I need a different approach for this...”
Are there other dishes that can be made with minced meat?
...Ah!
“Sausages!”
I’m pretty sure they’re also made from minced meat.
And they’re a type of preserved food too, so they should have a longer shelf life.
It’s the perfect way to cook nasty... ahem, gustatorily-challenged meat!
All right, I’m going to try making otherworldly sausages with the meat Mr. Shax gave us!
* * *
Sausages are essentially ground organ meats.
In other words, we need intestines.
You’d think I could just get them in no time flat because the meat’s right in front of me? Wrong! The meat is well-chopped, with the organs and bones removed.
I like to utilize every part of the monsters we hunt, so I also keep their organs.
Most of the time, I make hot pot stew from them and share it with everyone...
...There it is.
I looked inside our storage and found frozen horned boar intestines.
I think it was the orcs who processed it.
The inside is also cleaned well; they’ve done a great job.
I’ll use this for the minced meat.
This calls for my gift, the Hand of Supremacy.
The power that dwells in my hands will choose the best one and proceed to process them.
The minced meat that goes into the sausage may have some unique additives or mixtures, but I’ll leave all that to my ability.
As soon as I’ve laid out the necessary ingredients, my ability makes my hand grab the most appropriate ones and mix them into the meat.
The Hand of Supremacy really is convenient with how automatic it is.
Intestine skin to put the ground meat in—check.
Ground meat to put inside—check.
All that’s left is to combine them into one to complete the sausage!
But...
“How do I stuff them in?”
Don’t they, you know, usually use a particular machine that stuffs the ground meat into the intestines?
Yyyeah, I don’t know either.
Well, maybe I could try my best to stuff them by hand, but I don’t think that’s going to be a pretty sight.
If I were to make sausages regularly in the future...
Ugh, I really want a sausage-filling machine!
...Filling machine?
Let’s just call it that.
How do we make that filling machine, then?
I could ask for Hephaestus’ help again, but the structure of the machine seems pretty straightforward, plus I feel awkward about using the Hephaestus Counter.
So, what other options do I have?
Oh yeah, didn’t I just recently become acquainted with someone skilled in making such machines?
* * *
“...Me, eh?”
I have invited Pops Edward Smith to our farm again.
To explain the purpose of the requirement in a more straightforward way, I am serving him a hamburger first.
Of course, alcohol too.
“I want to stuff these skins with ground intestine and was wondering if you could make the necessary machine to do so!”
With a hefty reward, of course!
“I won’t say no to a request from you, Lord Saint... Well, judging by the tenderness of this ground meat, I think it’s best to pressurize them, no?”
“Oh!”
Already a compelling idea from the get-go?
As expected of dwarves!
“It would be easy to make such a mechanism by applying a pump’s concept. We also use pumps for our underground excavation.”
“Alrighty, let’s get to work! Of course, the materials will be shouldered by me!”
Mana metal ingots!
“Mana metal againnnnnnnnn?!”
I-Is Pops having a seizure?!
“Come to think of it, you were shocked to death last time when you saw the mana metal ship. What’s wrong? Do you perhaps hate mana metal?!”
“N-No... It’s not about liking or hating them... If possible, please don’t place them near me right away... The stimulus is too much for my heart!”
...Stimulus?!
Anyway, I want to rely on his dwarven crafting skills and know-how.
“Let’s work together to make a sausage-filling machine using this mana metal!!!
“We’re really going with mana metaaaaaaaaaal?!”
Huh? You mean we can’t?
But the smell or taste of metal doesn’t stick to the food, so isn’t that a huge help?
“I’m not... I’m not saying we can’t... But... The best metal on earth is being used for mere cookware... and not some legendary sword?!”
W-Why does he look like he’s having a hard time with this?
Well, no matter.
I’ll start by cutting enough mana metal for our project.
This is when the Wicked-Holy Sword Dreischwartz comes into play!
“A holy swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooord?!?!?!?!?!”
H-Huh?!
Pops let out another strange voice!
“A holy sword said only to be possessed by the king of the demon race... The legendary holy sword created by god! And yet... it’s here in front of me! The real thing?!?!?!?!”
Is it something to be that agitated about?!
But it really isn’t as big of a deal as you put it.
I’m not fighting a world crisis, so it's useless no matter how powerful a weapon is.
Its only use is to cut up materials at best, you see.
Like schwing!
“You’re using the holy sword to cut through the mana metaaaaaaaaaaal?! The most powerful sword on earth is being used as a mere crafting toooooooooooooool?!”
Pops.
Please calm down.
If you get too agitated, history might repeat itself...
“I can’t take this! This place is beyond my comprehension! My value as a dwarven craftsman, which I have spent half my life establishing, is crumbling...!”
“?”
“...”
“He’s dead again?!”
I had to rush off to call Sensei and revive Pops, who died of acute shock again.
Conversations with him are full of thrill.
Comments
Kurai1321
Man honedtly pops if you just ask him for a ingot he would probalylett.you have one
