PATRIARCH FOWL
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Casual Heroing, Chapter 187
🕑 Added 2023-09-21 19:57:16 +0000 UTCNext chapter comes out Friday, September 22nd!
THE PARTY'S FINALLY HERE! 🍰🍰🍰🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇️
4/7 chapters this week!
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Chapter 187 – Party, Part 1
I flip a few burgers and look at the many people who were, to Clodia’s dismay, invited to this little get-together at Happy Bakery. She wasn’t the happiest about this development, complaining about people having to actually work later, but I’ve assured her I have no intention of disrupting any actual business operations. In fact, now, I understand better than ever just how frustrated she must have been with me at times. Perhaps, how angry.
It’s almost tempting to think that turning off the Enchantment would help—well, not the Enchantment, the spell. [Mind Clarity]. At least, Magister Mulligan didn’t lie about that. As for the rest… yeah, that was quite messed up.
I’m grateful to the old man, but in the same way he’s angry at me for what happened when I was tempted by the Goddess, the Cantus, I am not happy about him lying to me. We can’t really trust each other that much, can we? Or maybe I’m just blowing this out of proportion.
I just don’t know.
I am alone in my thoughts and flipping burgers when Flaminia finally enters the room. She’s wearing the very nice dress she had on when she came to my place when I told her I needed help with something. She’s gorgeous, and all the girls who came, mostly those who don’t work a night shift later, gawk at her.
Not only is Flaminia beautiful and talented, but she told everyone she got a new class – a golden one. That’s… incredible. I, too, got a golden class, but it’s…
It’s not a baking class.
“Joey!” Flaminia walks up to me like she’s floating.
“Hey, Flam!” I summon a cheery smile.
She gives me a brief hug as I keep my oily hands to the side.
“So, you’re basically the birthday girl but for a class. That’s cool.”
“Isn’t it?!” Flaminia throws her hands up in the air. “A golden class! Magical food! Runes! All thanks to you!”
“What can I say? Human tricks, miss,” I give her my custom wink even though I feel yet another pang of jealousy gripping my guts.
Come on, Joey, don’t be jealous, I think to myself.
“Joey,” she lowers her voice, “a golden class? And that rune…”
“I know,” I smile, “that’s why I called you. I needed the best of the best.”
“Well, you’ll probably find out who else has been working on it with me,” Flaminia winks, poorly trying to copy the same tongue click that I do.
“Can’t wait,” I say, looking down at the burgers.
Flaminia goes to talk to Tiberius and Quintus; both became quite popular with the girls in my absence. They all seem to look up to them andFlaminia.
I see the wary group of Adventurers entering the Bakery right when Clodia accosts me.
“Who are those?” She asks.
“Adventurers. I’ve got some mess to deal with. I fell in the Dungeon last night and cleared up the first floor.”
“You what?”
“Heh,” I crinkle the edges of my mouth, “when I left yesterday’s party, I went for a walk outside the walls. I wanted to try out a spell… [Lightbolt]. When I did, the ground opened, and I ended up in a Dungeon. So, yeah, no Light Magic outside the walls.”
“A Dungeon?” Clodia asks, stunned. “You survived a Dungeon?”
“I know. The training I underwent was… hard. I don’t need bodyguards anymore. If you look at it from a financial perspective, I’m saving you money.”
Clodia, usually rough and forward, hesitates, “Joey, I don’t care about the money. But this… I didn’t know any of this. Why didn’t you let us know? It’s almost as if you became another person in two weeks.”
I look at the tall, muscular woman with a sad grin.
“I did. At some point, you gotta grow up, right? I can’t just sit on my ass and wait for the world to adapt to me.”
“That is… very true. But where did you get that wheat?”
“In the Dungeon. Looted it from there. Hopefully, we’ll be able to grow it with some help. I still have to get back to one last employee that I’ll need for this whole enterprise.”
“Do you think it’ll taste good?” Clodia asks, giving me the side-eye. “You know, Flaminia hasn’t told me what her new class does yet. She was waiting for you to announce it, and yesterday, you disappeared.”
“I think I have an idea—don’t worry, it’s going to get us lotsof customers. Very rich ones, at that.”
Clodia nods, giving me a worried look and hesitantly punching my arm as a display of affection. I return a wink as something else comes to my mind.
“Anyway,” I clear my throat, “we should meet with the Three Roses and your mother tomorrow afternoon. I have sketched out the plans for the business.”
“My mother didn’t tell you because she thought you were going to have a fit—do you know you cannot legally open a business in Amorium without being a resident, right?”
I barely look up from the burgers, shrugging.
“Heh, sure. I’ll put in a residency request. Is it an Amorium-wide thing, or do I need proper Elven citizenship?”
“You just need to become a resident officially, but…”
“But I’m a Human,” I sigh, feeling a slight edge seeping into my tone. “I know. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it; that’s what a man’s gotta do.”
…
“Joey!” Lucillus waves at me with more mirth than I have everseen on the usually frowny [Guard]’s face.
“Hello, peeps!” I smile at both him and Antoninus, but my heart slowly drops as I see Antoninus a bit less enthusiastic than usual, especially around the prospect of food.
“How are you two doing? Still patrolling the streets? Did you get to arrest any hot perps?”
“He’s not on the streets anymore,” Antoninus grumbles, pointing his thumb at Lucillus. “He does a boring desk job for the [Captain].”
“I’m not at liberty to say what I do, but yes. I’ve got a new job.”
“Oh? Does it have anything to do with the Dungeon?” I ask, curiously.
Lucillus immediately frowns and lowers his voice.
“Who told you that?”
“Don’t you know that I fell in the Dungeon and brought back the—well, you know?”
Lucillus looks around, making sure no one is eavesdropping, before talking.
“Your name wasn’t in the reports I’ve read. The [Captain] probably doesn’t want the information leaked for now.”
“But we pretty much told all the Adventurers?” I cringe. “What’s the point of that?”
“Gossip and legal documents are different,” Antoninus shrugs.
“Heh, I guess?” I shrug, too.
“Take a burger each, you two,” I say, flipping the meat onto the buns and extending the plates to them. “There’s more on that heating rune over there. People are still coming in. I’m not sure how this usually goes—when someone gets a better class, do they, like, say what it does?”
“When someone gets a class this strong, they’ll usually give at least one demonstration of what they can do. Some skills are used in the public eye so much that it doesn’t make sense to hide them when you get them. Some think you might as well show them off,” Lucillus explains.
“Alright, cool, cool. And… Antoninus, how’s your mother doing?”
Lucillus and Antoninus look at each other.
“You ran away from our house the last time we saw you,” Antoninus says with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was dealing with some stuff,” I say, omitting what exactly I was dealing with.
“Mom is better, but not even the Misery Dispeller fully understands what’s going on. It’s not a normal disease. Something is messing with her bones.”
I take a deep breath when I feel a spike of anxiety penetrate my chest. But now, I’m not powerless in front of this news anymore.
“Yeah. Listen, I know a few things about medicine. I know it sounds weird, but I might be able to help,” I say with a forced smile.
“Sure,” Antoninus shrugs. “She’s doing better now. The potions the [Healer] gave her are working pretty well. But I’m sure she won’t mind the company. The [Healer] told her she needed to rest and not go adventuring. She’s not taken the news well. Oh, she also got told not to drink alcohol. That she really didn’t like.”
Antoninus and Lucillus laugh at that, and I actually get myself to laugh as well while a cold feeling spreads to my extremities.
Another thing on my wonderful bucket list: tell my friends what cancer is and that Antoninus’s mother has got the magical version of it.
“You.”
I hear a feminine voice call me, and I turn to see the Vanedeni woman with a big burger in her hand marching toward me.
“It is time we talk,” she says, completely ignoring the two [Guards] at my side.
“Heh, I was talking to them,” I say, pointing at the duo.
“Would you mind, [Guards]? I have some business with him.”
Both excuse themselves and leave me alone with the tall woman.
“Why don’t you carry the sword on your back?” She says, frowning.
“It’s too big and heavy. I’ve done it once, back in the Dungeon. I don’t fancy carrying 260 pounds of metal on me. I much prefer the bag of holding thingy that basically voids its weight.
“You are irresponsible,” she states as if she was talking to a child. “A Vanedeni always carries their sword on them. Take it out.”
She will probably stab you if you don’t comply. It is a very important tradition to my people; I hear Magister Mulligan’s voice in my head.
Goddammit, why didn’t you tell me before?
I am an [Archmage], young Luciani! I don’t need to follow every stupid tradition!
“What are you waiting for? I said, take it out.”
I look at the woman with the joke right on the tip of my tongue. It takes titanic effort not to say a word. I don’t fancy actually being stabbed by a lunatic. So, I take out the sword and rest it vertically on the ground, wincing when I see the wooden floor cave under its weight.
“Joey!” I hear Clodia immediately shouting from the other end of the room. “Take that thing off my floor immediately!”
“It really is heavier than our standard greatsword,” Lisith speaks with great surprise. “Would you mind if I tried lifting it?”
“Sure, but my boss is about to take both our heads off,” I say, looking at Clodia stomping her way to us.
The Vanedeni woman with white hair and red pupils takes the handle of the sword, and her eyes widen.
“You are not strong enough to wield this,” she states as she takes two steps back, the weight of the sword now resting on the handle in her hands. Then, she starts exerting herself, trying to lift it off the floor, her face becoming redder and redder.
I can see the tip starting to tremble, and now, my eyes go wide. You cannot lift my sword unless you are stronger than a goddamn Elephant!
“Marvelous,” she says, straightening up and putting the sword vertically again, passing the handle to me.
“Yeah, pretty heavy, I know. I have developed an entire fighting style just to use it.”
Clodia, furiously making her way back to us, jams her huge wooden spoon right in front of my face.
“Take that off the floor!”
“Alright, sorry, sorry. She wanted a demonstration,” I explain, pointing at the Vanedeni woman.
Said Vanedeni woman, though, is looking in Clodia’s direction with an extremely interested look.
“Say, [Baker],” Lisith speaks to Clodia in her weird, “would you like to warm my bed tonight? I would like to pit my strengths against yours in an interesting setting.”
Comments
Max McLean
You're missing a word after 'weird' in the last paragraph. Manner?
Oliverthms
Vanedeni rizz
