PATRIARCH FOWL
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Casual Heroing, Chapters 172-173
🕑 Added 2023-08-25 20:18:34 +0000 UTCNext chapter comes out Saturday, August 26th!
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Chapter 172 â Momentum
Heh, the path to the military barracks, where the arena is, was much less exciting than one might have imagined. I avoided the Pratus because I didnât want to get swarmed by the guy. Iâm happy I didnât meet anyone I know on the way here.
I should be around thirty minutes early for the duel, give or take. One thing I had not imagined, however, was the dense queue outside the barracks.
I get to the end of it and look around, seeing the mass of people not moving in the slightest.
âPeople! We are already out of seats! Go back!â Someone shouts from the front, probably a [Soldier] or some military staff.
âFuck you! Let us in!â A scream comes, not too distant from me.
âHuh, they really want to see the Human die,â I remark off-handedly.
âEveryone does! Did you know the idiot accepted a military duel thinking that he would be able to useââ the man cuts himself off as he turns to stare at me. âYou are a Human!â
âThe Human, thank-you-very-much,â I smile at the guy, âNow, would you mind moving? I have a non-magical duel I need to attend to.â
âThe Human is here!â Another Elf shouts as the first moves out of the way. Many faces turn, and soon, the crowd is splitting in two to let me passâwell, not just to let me pass: thereâs a distinct feeling of⊠fear? Nah, not fear. Maybe disgust. Thereâs a distinct feeling of disgust that permeates through the air. I can see a few people recoiling when, pushed forward by the sheer size of the crowd, they are about to brush against me.
âWoof!â I bark at a terrified woman whoâs clawing at the crowd to get away from me. When a dozen people fall on their butts from fear, I shake my head and move forward.
When they finally notice I donât seem much rattled by this experience, the boos commence.
âDamn worm, go back to where you come from!â
âThrow him in the river!â
âLook at his stupid hair!â
âHas anyone seen my bag?! Hello?! I dropped some coins!â
The last shout makes half of the crowd search the ground frantically, hoping to get some cash after coming all the way up here. If one cannot see the Human fight, one might as well get a free meal out of it.
Also, my hair is not stupid.
âSilence!â Suddenly, someone screams at the top of their lungs from the entrance to the barracks. âWhereâs the worm?!â
âThe wormâs here,â I say, walking over to two familiar goons. One is skinny, and his face is full of pimples and red spots; the other is much larger and brutish.
âAH, worm, you finally showed! We all thoughtââ
âYeah, yeah,â I say, frowning as I try to remember Warioâs and Waluigiâs names. âAre you chaperoning me?â
âYou insolentââ
âNo? Alright, move,â I walk behind the pair, looking around the barracks.
The smell of iron and sweat invades my nostrils, the undertone of horse manure only adding to the charm. The buildings are more functional than decorative, built from raw stone and rough-hewn timber that could be replaced at a momentâs notice. Itâs more of a makeshift town, the uniformity of its stark architecture shattering any illusion of charm or warmth.
To my left are the horse stables, the source of the smell. The few horses that are walking in and out look imposing, the only elegance found in this place so far.
Other than some civilians that are being carted to where I suppose the arena is, thereâs a whole lot of sneering [Soldiers] stopping to look at me. However, a few stoic-faced men and women go about their tasks, completely ignoring me.
Not everyone is an idiot, no matter how bad the crowd is.
"Welcome to your final stage, worm," the fatter of the two laughs, âI hope you are ready to die. I see you made yourself all pretty for it.â
I roll my eyes at the clichĂ© situation and their âevilâ ways.
âWhereâs the chief idiot?â I ask, looking around. âAlso, is that where we are supposed to go?â
â[Corporal] Appius is waiting to chop you up, worm,â the lanky one says.
âOk, good. Where?â I sigh.
âYou think your big sword will save you? What is it, a prop for a [Fool]?â
I inhale and click my tongue a few times, following the other civilians I see in the distance. This place is a small citadel. Smaller than the Watch somehow, but still huge. Though the Watch resembles a castle, this looks more like a makeshift encampment that happened to turn into shoddy buildings.
âDo you people get in debt to live here?â I ask with a frown. âI thought this place would feel more luxurious and decadent.â
âAre you trying to attack the honor of the military, worm?â The skinny guy retorts.
âAre we going in the right direction?â I ask for the umpteenth time.
âYes,â the larger one replies, âyou are walking right into the end of your stay in Amorium.â
We pass by a huge building, like a condo that you would expect to find in Vienna, as the Sunday-morning duo of villains keeps egging me on. âIs this for officers?â I ask.
Amidst the idiotic insults, I actually get an affirmative reply.
âHuh,â I look up, realizing Iâve not heard the chatty [Archmage] say a word since we entered.
Are you still there?
This is your trial, young Luciani. Youâll have to face it on your own.
âSo, is there anythingââ I cut myself off when I see Plinius, Ireneâs brother, up on a balcony of one of the buildings. Behind him, on each side, there are two older men, older than Tiberius and Quintus, and a quite old woman, roughly as old as Clodiaâs mom if I had to guess.
I see the man glaring daggers at me, but itâs the two behind him that actually manage to make me shiver for a second. When the old woman smiles at me, a cold sensation spreads down my neck.
Thatâs how I expect the actual villains to look like, I think to myself. Should I flip them off? Heh, maybe next time. Let's tackle one villain at a time.
âIâm surprised Appius didnât welcome me himself,â I tell the two.
I see an exchange of glances that makes me raise an eyebrow.
They thought the same, didnât they? Is Appius even⊠here?
âDoes your boss have a wife or children or something?â
âWhatâs it to you, worm?â The skinny one spits at the end of his reply.
âJust asking, never mind,â I shrug.
âThe boss doesnât have any children or a wife that you could exploit if you were thinking of that. I know that Humans are well-versed in blackmail,â the same man adds.
âGood to know,â I sigh in relief.
As we come to see a circular building that kind of reminds me of a wooden colosseum, I hear someone calling my name.
âJoey! What did you do to your hair?!â
I turn to see Clodia and Camilla standing outside the place. Behind them, thereâs the other two sisters of the Three Roses.
âHey!â I walk up to Clodia and give her a large smile. âYouâre here to see your employee kick ass? Also, cool hair, am I right?â
âAre you going to kick ass?â Clodia asks with worry in her eyes. âDo you think you can do this?â
âYeah, itâll be easy,â I say, giving her one of my custom winks with a mouth click, adding a swoosh with my new braid.
âJoey, have you thought about my offer? If this goes well, I think we shouldââ
âSure,â I nod to Camilla. âLet me take care of this business, and then we can discuss the rest of the other business. I have some ideas, in factââ
âWorm! Stop wasting your time. Itâs time for you to go!â The fat guy walks to me with a dangerous glint in his eyes and moves his hand to push me.
I smirk.
[Inexorable Momentum Redirection, Double-Up]
As the manâs hand touches my shoulder, I gently push my scapula forward and twist my torso. The manâs hand, followed by his whole body, suddenly changes direction as soon as it makes contact with me and falls to the ground at twice the speed.
The idiot faceplants as I keep smiling and wink at the girls again.
âIâll see you inside, ladies,â I say, walking to a side entrance and leaving a [Soldier] with a bloodied-up face behind.
Chapter 173 - The Worm
Walking toward the side entrance, and with the barracks looming ominously above me, I feel a grim sense of anticipation. A group of soldiers wait outside, blocking the path into the arena.
"Ah, there he is," one of the soldiers drawls, his eyes narrowing as he looks me up and down. "The worm."
He gestures for me to step forward, a cruel smile curving his lips as he inspects me.
"Follow us, little worm," he growls, turning his back on me and entering the compound.
I take a deep breath and look outside one last time before walking in. I'll be honest, it does feel slightly anticlimactic. The interior of the corridor is not ominous, just boringâand slightly dirty. The Elves escorting me to wherever I need to go look pretty skinny for military guys. I mean, sure, I did get some muscles, but they, too, could have tried harder. Plus, if they call me slurs, I do think I have the full right to body shame their puny chicken legs.
We arrive in a dreary, cold room devoid of any charm. The walls are an unappealing gray, rough and unpolished, while the floor is just dusty earth that makes my boots thud in a monotone rhythm. A single, dim lantern hangs from the ceiling, casting long, wavering shadows.
"Now, undress," one of the soldiers orders, a sick smile playing on his lips.
"What?" I snort in return.
"You heard me, worm. Off with your clothes. We need to make sure you're not carrying any concealed weapons or magical items," the soldier says with a cruel smirk.
I heave and toss the giant sword onto a wooden table that creaks dangerously as it accepts the weight. Then, I start undressing.
There's a palpable sense of enjoyment in their eyes as they mock my discomfort, turning this necessary security check into a humiliating spectacle. Their laughter echoes in the cold room as I reluctantly begin to undress.
I see their eyes widening slightly when they see the muscle on my frame.
"I hope you enjoy the spectacle," I say, "I know that among the military, it's a common practice to, you know, make use of the usable when other resources are not available."
"What did you just say, worm?"
They are even worse than Appius's duo of idiots.
"Nothing, I just want to be done with this."
I keep undressing and simply toss my clothes at them once I'm done. I've already left my bag of holding to Magister Mulligan, knowing there would be a check. I only have some simple clothes and the giant Vanedeni sword on me.
I remain in my underwear as they ruffle through my clothes with disdain. One of them looks weirdly at one of my sleeves and rips it off.
"Fuck, are you stupid?" I ask the guy, moving a step forward. "I don't have a spare on me, you goddamn idiot."
"What did you call me, Human?" The man snickers before tossing my clothes on the ground and stomping on it.
"Done having fun?" I say once they all step back. My voice is steady, though I can feel the anger simmering inside me. It's one thing to expect a fair fightâit's another to be disrespected like this.
Ignoring my comment, one of the soldiersâtaller and burlier than the othersâsteps forward with a weird stone in his hand and passes it over my clothes on the ground, and then moves it in front of me. He does the same with the sword, but he just frowns a few times without saying anything.
The other two are still having fun with my clothes when, to my surprise, a voice of reason cuts through the vile mockery of an inspection.
"That's enough. He's clean," a voice says. A soldier I hadn't noticed until thenâa woman with a stern face and sharp eyesâstands up from a wooden stool in the corner of the room where she was sitting. Something about her tone makes the others instantly stop their shenanigans.
"Yes, [Sergeant]."
"You are all dismissed. I'll escort the Human to the arena."
They throw a few hateful glances my way before they leave, one by one, leaving me alone with the woman. She offers me a faint smile and gestures towards a nearby table with a pitcher on it.
"You can get dressed. Sorry about them," she says, her voice softer now. "Would you like some water?"
"Nah, I'm good, thanks," I smile back, picking up my clothes with a sigh.
I don them, but when I see the missing sleeve on my shirt, I feel a mote of frustration.
"They are a disgrace to our institution," the woman says, pouring the glass of water and offering it to me again, even though I already refused.
"No, thank you," I reply, looking at my missing sleeve quizzically before getting an idea. I inhale deeply, grab the other sleeve, and tear it off.
"Well, how does it look?" I say, flexing both of my biceps for the girl.
"Impressive for a Human," she says. "If you are done, pick up your weapon and follow me."
I nod and put the sword back on my back with its special harness.
"Is that a Vanedeni sword?" She asks as I follow her through the door.
"Oh, yeah, big time. You know what they say, right, big swordâŠ"
"Little brain?"
"Something like that," I wink at the [Sergeant].
"Not many would be as brazen as you, Human. Few remember the Vanedeni swords, but you'll find some pretty vocal haters. I know we have a handful of Vanedeni adventurers on the continent, but you are making yourself an even bigger target by wearing that sword. And even with the [Featherweight] Enchantments, how will you swing that thing around? Did someone advise you just to get a big weapon, hoping you would win like that?"
I actually start laughing when sheâs done talking.
"[Featherweight]?" I snort. "Fuck me, I wish!"
But we are already in front of the entrance to the arena proper, which I cross without looking back. The woman, from behind, almost trips forward.
"Wait, you don't have an Enchantment that makes it lighter?!" She shouts, not following me.
I ignore her, though, because a cacophony of noise greets me. The arena is already filled with spectators, their collective anticipation creating a palpable tension that seizes the air. The moment they catch sight of me, a chorus of jeers and insults rings out.
Without any warning, a rain of objects flies at me from the crowd.
"What theâ"
Handfuls of worms, rotten fruit, and all manners of detritus rain down on me. I can feel the slimy worms squirming against my skin and the rotten fruit exploding on contact, leaving me covered in a foul-smelling mess. The crowd roars with laughter and only seems more encouraged to keep throwing shit.
I look at my stained clothes and at the missing sleeves.
"I guess I don't have to worry about the sleeves anymore."
I see Clodia and Flaminia sitting close together, so I wave to them as I dodge a rotten lidula directed to my face. They look flabbergasted, and I almost feel bad for them before something catches my eye.
There's a young boy sobbing, drowned by the shouts of the people directed at me. The boyâs small frame is shaking with the force of his tears. Standing next to him is a hulking man, presumably his father, who continues to shout insults at me, oblivious to his son's distress.
Moving away from the path that leads to the center of the arena, I dodge the incoming detritus and walk toward the boy.
I've seen this scene beforeâa father too angry to even look at his children. I was lucky enough not to suffer from any of this, but I've seen friends ruined by this kind of behavior.
And so, using a little magic, I create a small horse made of [Light].
"Hey there! Catch!" I shout to the kid, sending the [Light] construct galloping through the air. The kid looks at me, startled, before catching the small horse. The boyâs sobs slowly ebb as he watches the ethereal animal dance in front of him, his tear-streaked face lighting up with wonder.
He's not crying anymore, and, if you believe it, his father has barely noticed what I've done.
"You worm! Amorium should be freed of all your disgusting kind!"
But now, the kidâs fatherâs voice is not one of many anymore⊠It's become one of the few.
Most of the people in the arena saw what I just did.
If I tell the father to take care of his child, he's going to beat him up or something, I think to myself, shaking my head and turning my back to the center of the arena.
Even though there are still idiots throwing shit at me, the jeers and laughter have died down as many watched the kid on the bleacher.
It takes one gesture of kindness, just one.
From somewhere amidst the crowd, a cheer spikes up, quickly spreading throughout the arena. The hostility doesn't dissipate entirely, but for a brief moment, thereâs a lull â a shared breath of wonder and joy before the impending duel.
âLooks like the worm has some tricks!â Someone shouts from the crowd, a note of reluctant admiration in their voice.
As I smile at the arena, turning slowly by 360 degrees, I finally notice that the gate opposite the one I came from is opening.
A silhouette makes its first step into the arena.
Comments
Fowl
If you remain subbed for the next two weeks or your sub expires after that, I recommend reading at the very least the last Lucillus chap
Alcatraz356
Cliff hangers are big dumb. They wonât be bad in a full release but it feels like a waste of money at this point. Think Iâm gonna go fuck off and wait till a full release. Each chapter I read for the past 50 chapters have felt like complete filler. Still havenât read any of the lucillus chaptersâŠ
Duck_Giblets
I like the larger chapters, although the cliff hangers are annoying. It would be pretty neat to have events summed up in one or two chapters
