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(COMPLETE) Devil In The Waters, Chapter 5, Remote Control
🕑 Added 2019-12-07 22:00:57 +0000 UTC
The words from his bully written out on his phone’s screen chilled him. All the fear he’d experienced this weekend came rushing back to him in all its former glory. Part of him, thirty-six hours removed, had come to believe that maybe Devin in the tent had been a dream after all, that the horror wrapping itself around him was all fabricated in his own mind, woven from blades of past trauma like one of Kimmy’s baskets.
A simple friendly phrase, yet one heavy with the threat of what would come next.
how’s it going?
The query wasn’t preceded by Devin Stone’s name, but by a phone number Josh didn’t recognize. Yet he knew it wasn’t spam or a mistake, he knew it was Devin. He stared at the words a long time, opened his phone and his message app, texted a reply.
Josh: leave me alone
A reply came in a few seconds.
don’t be sore
He texted again:
Josh: leave me alone
On the TV screen his cowboy sat atop a chestnut mare, a mountain vista spread out before them. He set the controller down and rubbed his fingers against his clammy palms.
Another text:
Kimmy say I came by to talk to her today?
He grunted, disbelieving this was his reality again after he’d thought they’d moved on. His face had tightened, his brow lowered, but his shoulders slumped like they were too heavy.
Josh: fuck off
she didn’t? bad girl that Kimmy
Josh: I don’t believe you
why not?
Now he looked over his shoulder and could see his wife in the kitchen, through the pass-thru, moving around with her back to him, her black hair tied back in a tail.
Josh: go fuck with someone else
Josh just go and ask her
I didn’t fuck her if that’s what you’re thinking
His fingers tingled like he’d been sitting on them, and he felt detached from his body, watching himself from above sitting on the couch gawking at his phone, Xbox controller and fizzing Coke on the table at his knees. There was a profound feeling of unreality.
Josh: that’s good
feel better?
Josh: no go away
I mean she begged me to fuck her and I had her pants down
There was a clinking and clattering in the kitchen, Kimmy loading the dishwasher. He regarded her over his shoulder again, and the sight of her feminine form, its innocent grace, had him angry that Devin would fabricate something so horrible. The image of Kimmy begging Devin Stone to fuck her couldn’t even be formed. Fantasy was one thing, but bringing the image closer to realism was impossible.
He turned back, admired the mountain view beyond his cowboy’s horse.
Josh: you are so full of shit
Am I?
The anger tightening his neck and jaw was welcome and comforting in its way. He chuckled a confrontational sound, texted.
Josh: Big successful guy like you has nothing better to do on a Monday night than fuck around with some guy from high school? Pretty sad man
ha ha, Josh, you got me. I’m eating dinner at Harbour 60 right now so bored I gotta text my old pal Josh and make up a story how I fingered his wife today
Now he was practically growling, a low animal sound in his throat. he was too grown up to be a bully’s victim now.
Josh: you grew up to be a real piece of shit
I left you something
Josh: oh okay
Oh okay. He liked the sound of it. He smiled, betting to himself Devin hadn’t expected Josh to be so aloof this time around. But he wasn’t blitzed with bourbon, roused from a painful sleep. Now he was comfortable at home, on his own couch, recovered, well-fed and tended by the woman he loved. A woman who would never sleep with Devin Stone.
So this would be where a bully like Devin Stone was going to say something perverse and mean and belittling, and he could see it in his mind before it was even written: Left you my sloppy seconds . . . Practically followed by imagined wheezy teenage laughter. Only he and Devin were removed from school a long time now—so fuck off, Devin, you’re powerless over adults.
But it wasn’t what Devin returned.
Nice apartment you have
He stared at the statement a long time. It got him. Well played, Devin.
Josh: thanks
small, plain, there’s a picture of Taiwan in the eighties b&w on the wall facing you as you come in the door. brown leather couches in the family room, you have a wedding photo on the table against the wall...
There wasn’t much to say, so he just read, winding his neck around as he did, that helpful anger fumbling, getting into the backseat now so worry could get up and take the wheel.
nothing to say now? I told you I left you something. Go in the front hall, the table where there’s the flowers and the dish with coins and keys, open the top drawer for me
Josh: Why?
I left something for you
Josh: it’s not there
you didn’t check then
Josh: I don’t have to
coward
When he rose from the couch his legs were shaky. He stared a moment at the cowboy on screen waiting for his input, waiting to be lead into great and wonderful adventures. Instead he was a player on someone else’s screen, his high school bully’s, a piece in another man’s fantasy adventure.
In the kitchen, Kimmy still puttered, content and oblivious. It angered him she would be brought in on this malicious enterprise, an innocent NPC—it was the challenge to her honor that got his heart pounding again. How dare Devin say these terrible things about her. But he was stuck now, somewhere between the anger and the submission, his feet moving across the apartment floor, taking him to the front hall where he would confirm what Devin was saying wasn’t true.
The awful journey to his front hall was his bully’s joy, he was sure, sitting gleefully on the other end of this text exchange picturing dumb Josh shitting his pants in Ajax. He’d come to find the drawer empty and Devin would then say Kimmy must have found it first and got rid of it. String this game along further, drag gullible Josh out into deeper waters . . .
Only when he made it to the front hall unspotted by Kimmy, he opened the drawer of the table with the flowers and the dish of keys and coins and found Devin was right. There on the top layer of junk, right at the far side, a crisp linen business card lay face up and staring like it had been expecting him. What took you so long, Mr. Waters it was saying. The chills and the tingles returned to him, that sinking feeling in his stomach pushing down hard on his bladder. The card read: Stone Custom Brokerage LLC, then in bolder font the cardholder’s name, Devin Stone, and, underneath in italics, Vice-President.
He never lifted the card from where it sat, left it there and quietly closed the drawer again. Kimmy still cleaned, still oblivious to the tragedy in the front hall, scooting around the kitchen in her slippers.
When he looked down there was another message waiting for him on his phone.
Kimmy’s way too much woman for you
The sinking feeling deepened, the anger liquifying and pooling around his feet.
Josh: U came here today
I did. Believe me now?
Josh: Why?
I told you you asked me to fuck Kimmy
Josh: I never asked that
You sure did
Josh: I don’t want that
You told me you did
Josh: Now I’m telling you I don’t
He stared at the screen, waiting for the response. It came.
Too late
He grumbled a pained sound, thumbs flying.
Josh: Don’t text me again don’t ever come by my apartment again and don’t talk to Kimmy
Too late for all that Josh Kimmy and I have something good going
Josh: I’m telling you to stop
You know you want it, now I want it. And Kimmy wants it too
Josh: No she doesn’t.
enjoy it man you asked for it you’re getting it
ciao
* * *
There was no way it could be true.
It had to be a ruse, but he was standing there in the front hall with all the demonstrated proof someone would need. And yet there was a surprising emptiness inside him. It was like the horror was currently buoyed on the vestiges of his disbelief.
He moved to the kitchen doorway, could see Kimmy rinsing a plate, the dishwasher open, placing it on the bottom rack. She was done now, drying her hands.
Something occurred to him. Something that had registered in his mind, but sat dormant until now. He approached her, took the towel from her hands, her smiling and watching him suspiciously. He snapped away the wet towel, then folded it and tossed it onto the counter. She asked him what was up.
He took her hands, kissed her knuckles. “Thank you for dinner.”
“I slaved away all afternoon,” she said, averting her eyes.
Now he held both her hands between them, thumbing her knuckles, caressing her wedding ring. He said, “Did your nails today, eh?”
Sure enough, the thing that had registered: Kimmy had changed her nail color. There’d been a clear coat over a base of dusty rose for the high school reunion. Hadn’t changed that yesterday, but now he could see she’d done them in black.
She took her hands away from his, looked at her nails. “Oh yeah, I did.”
“Black, huh?”
“I was bored,” she said.
“Bored?”
She shrugged, and her lack of forthcoming irked him. He said, “You weren’t busy today? Did you get a basket and and a half done?”
“No,” she said, eyes straying away again.
“You didn’t?” There was an unfinished basket on her worktable.
She said, “Just a half a basket.”
“Did you go out?”
“No . . . My hands were sore,” she said now, then shook one of them out as if it was still smarting. She made a fist, then wouldn’t look his way again.
“Are your hands sore?”
“Yeah, a little . . .” Then: “I just didn’t feel like it today. I started watching The Heirs, I lost track of time. Next thing I know, I’m making tea, I got my feet up . . . I did my fingernails.”
“While you watched Netflix?”
“Yes,” she said, unsmiling, then adding, “My toes, too,” looking down at her feet though she wore slippers in the house.
He said, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, posture slumping. “I’m okay . . .” She leaned on the counter and crossed her arms.
“Anybody come by today?”
Though she made no reaction at all, somehow that was a weird indication by itself. Kimmy stone-faced him. Gave him her lawyer face. When she wanted to, she could keep you out—it was part of what she practiced, never letting your opponent know what you’ve got. She said, “No . . . why?”
He shrugged, looked away. “Just wondering.”
There was a beat of quiet, then: “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know, like Amy or something. Maybe you guys went out . . .”
“I said I didn’t go out.”
“Well, it’s just . . .”
She stared at him a long while with her lips parted, an expression somewhere between concern and anger. She said finally: “Why would you ask me that?”
“I said I don’t know. It’s weird coming home to you like this.”
“Like what?—I ordered your favorite dinner, Josh, you played video games, we ate together . . . What’s wrong with that?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Kimmy,” he said and put up his hands. “Look,” he said backing away, not wanting to be a part of this conversation at all anymore. “You’re being weird, so I’m asking you questions.”
“Your questions are weird, Josh, like you sound like you’re accusing me of something.”
“You’re acting like you’re guilty, I’m asking questions. I’m not chasing you, I’m following you . . .”
Her eyes darted over his, she softened then, raised her eyebrows. “Sorry,” she said, and now he was the guilty one.
He went to her, saying, “It’s okay . . . I don’t mean to bug you. It’s just . . .”
“What—because I was I won’t tell you about . . .” She left the sentence unfinished. The argument at the party.
“Yeah, I don’t know . . .”
“It’s nothing, Josh, don’t make it into something.”
“You’re making into something by being so tightlipped.”
She studied him again, eyes going over his, weighing and measuring.
He said, “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” she said softly.
“All right,” he said, backing away again. I’m going to be in my office . . .”
* * *
In his office Josh found himself obsessed with disproving Devin’s texted taunts, searching Facebook now for proof. It was convenient escape from dwelling on the almost-confrontation with Kimmy. It would be a mistake to let Devin get in his head, infect his marriage. Not without confirmation.
Disbelief—wondrous and welcome disbelief—had begun to leak again into his mind. You couldn’t trust Devin. What Devin accused Kimmy of was ridiculous. Why would he take for granted the words texted to him from a malicious man who’d made his youth precarious? It was a magic trick, was all. Now he just had to figure the trick, learn the sleight of hand.
So now he was operating on the presumption that Devin’s description of his apartment, while accurate, was a distraction. It was meant to bolster his belief in stage two of Devin’s trick: the business card.
Devin’s description of his apartment sounded contrived when Josh replayed it in his head, and now he was checking his and Kimmy’s Facebook photos for instances Devin could have gleaned; shots from Josh and Kimmy’s married life that showed the inside of their apartment. While he scoured, proof still eluded him; there were no definitive images that showed the front hall, though there were other pictures of the apartment that showed the family room and the brown leather couches. The description still stuck funny in his mind-ear: superficial, paint-by-numbers, as though Devin was never in the apartment but had seen a photo or had been given a second-hand description.
He had to consider that Devin may not be alone in this particular campaign of domination. The act of humiliation was best with an audience, and back at high school Devin always had compatriots’s faces leering nearby to join in on the vicious hilarity.
Here was the thing about the business card: If Devin wanted to drop a big whammy and he was so fucking smart he would have left a note, maybe a message, something with his name . . . Just a business card? Come on, that was low grade for a bully like Devin Stone—what, he was going to pass up the opportunity to write a note like Kimmy’s pussy is so tight, right on the card? Some real low blow knife-stab . . .
What if it wasn’t Devin at all he’d been texting with? Like Steve was fucking with him after their talk today. Only how would Steve get Devin Stone’s business card? Shit, what’s wrong with you, Josh? It might not even be Stone’s business card, anybody could do a business card up on a computer and print it out. Steve, maybe, arranging some prank with Kimmy even. It was far-fetched, but so was Devin coming by here today and fingering Kimmy. Shit, Steve wouldn’t have the guts to text those dirty things on the messages about Kimmy, even as a joke, he could never type out that he’d fingered Kimmy—it would creep him out . . .
Kimmy snuck up on him while he was lost in a Facebook wormhole, his monitor faced away from the door, so he could see her in the hall, on her way to the bedroom. She stopped in the doorway, resting a hand, then her forehead on the frame.
“Hey,” he said.
“I’m going to go to bed,” she said.
“You are?”
She nodded, head still on the frame, bending one knee so she could plant her toes on the floor and wag her calf side to side.
“It’s not even nine.”
She shrugged, said, “Good night, baby,” slunk away from the frame and lingered a second before resuming her path down the hall. But she came back.
His hand rolled the mouse around in a circle, his cursor going in concentric lines on the monitor, peering over top to see what she would say. Kimmy slunk against the frame again, and showed an uncomfortable aura of guilt. It showed in the bowing of her eyebrows, the slump of her shoulders. Kimmy didn’t know Devin had sent him taunts over messaging, but she did know her husband had questioned her in a way he’d never done before. If she were innocent she would be mad, perplexed; if she were guilty, what then? . . .
Kimmy said, “Can you come to bed with me?”
And the sight of her this way made him the guilty one, thinking of her the way he’d been thinking, allowing another man to control him, manipulate him, ruin what he had with his Kimmy. Below the wide cuff of her cotton capris her ankles were slender; the string straps of her feathery tank top drew thin lines on her graceful shoulders; her black hair hung shaggy around her angular but sweet and innocent face, her black eyes watching him, bright and wet.
If she’d had sex with Devin today would she really want you in the bed right now? Would she want more sex? Wouldn’t she be worn out?
Come on, the whole thing’s ludicrous . . . Plus, searching Facebook was futile; a picture of their apartment could be on someone else’s page, not his or Kimmy’s. They’d had parties here before, so maybe someone posted a pic and Devin’d seen it . . .
He said, “I’m coming.”
* * *
He followed her down the hall to their bedroom, Kimmy closing the door behind them and leaving the lights off. He stood in the quiet, turned, felt her body up against his. Kimmy kissed his neck and put her arms around his waist. He said, “I’m sorry for before.”
She said nothing, continued kissing his neck, her nails drawing circles on his lower back now. She didn’t want to talk, didn’t bring him in here for conversation, so he better smarten up. And, before he knew it, her hand was groping his junk over his sweatpants, right hand squeezing and kneading his penis and testicles over the cotton while her mouth sought his. He kissed her. She whispered, “I had a nap today . . .”
“That’s good.”
“You told me to nap so I’d be rested.”
“So you rested?” Wow, some dirty talker, Josh.
“Are you going to fuck me, baby?”
Hearing his wife say something so harsh was unexpected and he flinched at her dirty language. He whispered, “Yeah.”
“What are you going to do to me?”
“Make love to you . . .”
“Yeah? . . . How?” Now she ran her thigh up his knee, getting a foot right off the floor. She squeezed his balls, lifted them up taking his sweatpants along and flossing him a wedgie. Kimmy was horned up in a way he couldn’t remember before. Maybe back in early college, or, shoot, in high school when they first started doing it and jumped at any chance, going from 0-60 in seconds, teenage hormones in hyper-drive. But in their adult life his Kimmy wasn’t ever so forward. It was intimidating . . .
“I don’t know . . .”
“Tell me, Josh, tell me what you’re going to do to me . . .”
Her hand kneaded his genitals more eagerly, and she went on her toes so she could hook an arm around his neck and kiss his mouth. He put his hands on her finally, and they moved like they were timid, touching her back, caressing, being kind and polite. Fuck, just like in high school and it was the first time they were together . . .
And now it was in his head. Kimmy’s way too much woman for you. Was it true? As she matured, Kimmy was undeniably acquiring a powerful sexiness. The shaggy bangs, the full raven head of hair framing her intelligent face. The slim smile lines around her perfect pouting mouth. Those sexy brown eyes in their narrow almond shapes. Could she do better? You don’t deserve Kimmy—that’s what Devin was saying. And if another man came for her and he had to compete, what really was it he could offer a woman like Kimmy? Their legacy? Even Steve saying today he couldn’t imagine what Kimmy saw in him. Just joking around—he was sure of it—but now with everything else going on it provoked amazing insecurity. It was just like back in high school, when they first started going out together, he didn’t know if it was a real thing or not. He crushed on Kimmy Chang so hard, and when she agreed to go out he feared the whole night she thought it was just as friends. And he was too worried to make a move, worried he would offend her. But she was his wife now, they’d got past all of the act, and so his hands grew bolder, squeezing at her ribs, moving down to cup her ass cheeks. Kimmy complied right away, sighing into his mouth and parting her legs wider. He slipped a hand down the back of her cotton pants, right underneath her panties. He found his wife warm and wet already, his two middle fingers sliding along her slick groove already well-oiled and hungry.
“Ohh, Josh,” she murmured, and he probed them inside. She raised her knee higher, hooked the inside of her thigh on his hipbone, desperate for him to penetrate her. He slid his fingers deeper and she whispered, “Tell me what you’re going to do to me . . .”
“I don’t know, Kimmy . . .”
“You had all day . . . what did you fantasize?”
It was true—the weird thing was he hadn’t really thought about it. He’d warned her this morning to be prepared, and selfish Josh only thought about himself all day . . . What did his wife do at the party? What was the fight about? Was it something I did? Was it something I said? Did I embarrass her? Me, me, me . . . But Kimmy wanted him. And wanted him now.
But his mind was poisoned.
She whispered, “Tell me something dirty . . . Tell me something you want to do to me . . .”
He froze, his mouth open, words eager to come out but frightened, hiding like timid voles in their tunnel. What would anything he said come out like? And the most frightening thing: he wasn’t even really hard yet. She’d fondled him, squeezed him, kissed his neck, was eager and vocal—but now her arms were around him scratching and caressing, and he could feel only a meager arousal in his underwear. Another replay of last night—oh no . . .
“Tell me, Josh, tell me something dirty . . .”
“I don’t know, Kimmy . . . let’s move to the bed . . .”
Kimmy made a disappointed sound and let him go. He couldn’t see her in the dark, but now was imagining her impatient, disappointed. It sunk him. His erection completely dwindled, he put his hands out to find her. She was gone. He could hear her getting on the bed now, and he was quick to join her, wanting to show her it wasn’t over.
* * *
Only he didn’t find her laying in bed. The silhouette of his wife loomed on his right hand side, Kimmy sitting on the edge of the bed. The act of sitting disheartened him. Not laying in bed looking for a second attempt at lovemaking, but sitting . . . and sitting was the position where you talked rather than made love.
He scooted to join her, both of them looking out the bedroom windows at the starlight sky. She asked him what was wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong, Kimmy, I swear nothing’s wrong.”
“Don’t you want to . . .?” She looked his way, and he could see her concerned face bathed by the outdoor light.
“Of course I do. How could I not want to? . . . It’s not that at all. I just felt . . . I don’t know . . .”
“Is it me?”
“No. It’s a lot of pressure, I don’t . . .”
“I’m putting pressure on you?”
“I’m sorry.”
She hung her head, said, “I’m sorry too. I mean, Josh, it’s . . . it’s just sex. Don’t you want to fuck me?”
“It’s a lot,” he said, wishing he’d just grow up and lay her back and make love to her the way he wanted—shit, the way she wanted. But his arousal had evaporated, so he was useless right now anyway. So he said, “It’s a lot, telling me to tell you what I’m going to do.”
“I’m sorry, Josh, can we start over?”
And now he felt guilty as well as limp. He said, “No, don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault at all. I told you I was going to make things right tonight, but I don’t know . . . When we came in here, and you started saying those things . . .”
“I thought you might like that.”
“I do,” he said—and, what the fuck, of course he did . . . Why would he be challenged by her dirty talk? It was all because of Devin Stone, this other guy getting in his head. All of it lies, all of it meant to hurt Josh remotely. That smug fuck sitting in a steakhouse manipulating loser Josh all the way in Ajax. Now the way he pictured it, it was Devin and all those cronies from high school, guys from all the sports teams, them grown up now wearing suits and laughing at what cool guy Devin was doing to this nerd. How could he let someone get in his head like that? It was impossible to think what Devin said was true.
Now he softened, looking at his wife’s face, and she could see the change in him. They both smiled at each other, honest smiles, and then their mouths came together and they kissed. He played with her ear lobe, her hair, caressed her neck. She put her tongue in his mouth; soon her hand was back in his lap. It went to his knee, came up the inside of his thigh, began to squeeze and knead his manhood again. The fact he wasn’t hard began to play at his weaknesses. Boy, imagine if Kimmy had been with Devin today, what a difference . . . Her husband with a smaller penis that didn’t even work right. Devin’s text had said he fingered Kimmy, got her pants down. Now while he kissed her, the image came to him unbidden of his wife here in this bedroom, maybe up against the wall, right up against the apartment window where maybe the neighbors could see, submitting to this tall rich handsome fucking asshole. He could picture Devin with his hands down her pants, Kimmy with her mouth hanging open, her eyes locked onto Devin’s eyes, Devin’s hand jacking inside her pants, slick wet sounds filling his room. His cheating wife . . .
Kimmy made an appreciative catlike sound—he realized he’d achieved full throbbing hardness, and she appreciated his earnest renewal. He had to strike while the iron was hot, leaning toward her now, Kimmy going to her back, him getting over top of her. She pushed his pants down and stroked his erection while they kissed.
His mind was stuck still, swirling around the idea of his wife at home while he was at work, a visitor comes by, a guy they all hate, but nobody would deny his appeal. It was the man that was objectionable, the package itself screamed success. And the fact that Kimmy, who’d never been charmed by men like that, would let Devin put his hand in her pants had his cock aching to be inside her.
They shimmied higher onto the bed, Kimmy pushing her pants down. And he couldn’t even wait for her top to come off, already shoving a knee between her legs, spreading them wider, Kimmy raising her knees and him getting between her legs. He thumbed his erection downward, found her opening easily, and slipped inside her. That thrilling entry into her body was poisoned by the notion of how she would be dominated by a man with Devin’s manhood. How would Kimmy react with Devin? Now he could picture Kimmy like those overacting girls he watched in porn. Mewling little cats squirming all over the bed saying crazy shit for muscular jerk-off guys with big dicks. Pictured his beloved smart and capable woman behaving that way. Her legs open, eager for another man . . .
He stabbed and stabbed, the bed creaking, Kimmy making soft barely audible gasps in reaction to his thrusts. “Fuck, mm, fuck,” he grunted, trying to shake away the thought of Kimmy with Devin, but the fear that without it he would lose his arousal, coaxing him to ride it out just a little longer . . .
He could picture Kimmy sinking to her knees, doing down Devin’s zipper, then that thing Josh had seen in the tent beginning to protrude through the opening, inch after glorious inch, Kimmy’s eyes widening as the hugest manhood imaginable was presented to her—Kimmy worshiping it, studying it, using her fingertips to caress it’s hard ridged totem shapes. Then her mouth kissing it, her tongue caressing, sucking . . .
“Shit, oh shit . . .”
“Oh Josh,” Kimmy squeaked, and she hugged him tighter, one step ahead of him knowing he was going to come before he even realized.
He spurted slippery lubrication inside her while conjuring terrible horrible frightening images of his wife with a man he hated—a man she hated—and the phantasmagoric movie in his mind’s eye so powerful it triggered his system into powerful orgasm. He dug his elbows into the mattress over her shoulders, hunched his body, stabbed himself deep (aware at the moment of his orgasm she was taking everything he had right now, and how Devin had a lot more) . . . He let that badness swirl like a dust devil ripping through the warehouse behind his eyes while throbbing waves of pleasure undulated through his body. His cock flexed and pulsed inside his wife, launching off a complete, copious, and powerful load inside her, Kimmy cooing and writhing, making light feathery circles on his back knowing her husband was ejaculating.
Shame rose, a sickly wool feeling up his back, his eyes widening, looking at her, seeing her beautiful hair spread out on the sheets they’d picked out together at the Jysk in Whitby. The terrible things he’d thought of her while encouraging his hardness and orgasm . . . That man putting those images in his head.
Screw you, Devin, because your little trick backfired . . .
Only, while he’d been successful, his pleasure achieved, it didn’t exactly run the sexual gauntlet for Kimmy. She lay there and let her husband thrust into her for a couple minutes—was she supposed to be grateful that he could come? Wow, how great for Kimmy.
Now the happiness faded, and he was already remorseful. “Sorry,” he whispered, the endurance of his lovemaking an obvious failure.
“I’m glad you came,” she said.
“I can go again.”
“I got what I wanted,” she said.
“Can we try again?”
She nodded, but her eyes were closed. He raised above her on straightened arms, his wife laying there with her top still on, her hair fanned around her angel face. He kissed her chin, and she patted his cheek.
The way her face was closed off left him with the idea she was concentrating on the seed he’d planted inside her body. That should make him happy, but still all he could think about was his disappointment. A man like Devin would’ve ended the session much differently. He could picture Kimmy left sweating, a devastated mess after a long pounding session with Devin. That’s what girls said in high school. Had Kimmy ever heard that? Probably. So if she knew that, then she knew that what Josh’d just done wasn’t good enough.
The earlier fears chased after him again: You’re not good enough for Kimmy.
So much venom coursing through his system, he eased himself out from inside her, stood at the side of the bed. His pants were around his ankles, and he stooped to pick them up, kissed Kimmy’s knee, but she didn’t notice, raising her legs now, getting herself straighter on the bed and curling up on her back with her thighs hugged to her chest.
He backed away from her, saying, “I’m just gonna be a minute,” and went to the bathroom.
* * *
The worry’d been Josh had seen something on Facebook. Why else would he come at her like that, insinuating that she wasn’t forthcoming about her activities today? Josh was never that way, had never questioned her or treated her like a liar. It’d made her think the rumors had started, people were talking, and soon everyone would know what Kimmy and Devin had got up to at the party. They’d never understand. And the hurt to Josh was unconscionable.
Only now it was worse than yesterday.
With her toes spread on the bathroom floor, seated on the toilet, Josh’s seed spilling from her, she twirled fingers through her folds, pulling back on her hood and mushing down on her clit, chasing down something she wanted very bad but had escaped her in the bedroom with Josh. Her husband had left her sopping and while he went to the bathroom in their bedroom she’d scurried out to the guest bathroom in the hall not sure why she wanted out of the bedroom so bad. But now it was apparent it was about finishing herself off in case Josh reneged on a round two after he came out of the bathroom, or wasn’t able to get it up again.
The pad of her middle finger took over now, slipping inside herself while curling her clit against her palm at the same time. Her legs trembled as the orgasm finally told her it was on its way, and she pulled over a clean hand towel and bit it to stifle any sounds she wouldn’t want Josh to hear.
The way she’d betrayed her husband today was a sin. It would never happen again because she just wasn’t that kind of woman—but the events of the last few days were exhilarating in a way she couldn’t even comprehend. And as the freight train of an orgasm rumbled down her tracks looking to pull into the station she found herself thinking of another man. Thinking of his hands, how large they were, how masculine. Thought of how despite their size and strength they had remarkable well-groomed grace. She chomped the towel harder thinking of the way his black arm hair furred over the crisp razor edge of his expensive dress shirt, a shirt with French cuffs and gold links to hold them in place.
“Ah, mm, ah,” she panted into the dampening cotton of the hand towel, seizing her eyes shut. But there in the darkness once again it wasn’t her husband who loomed, it was another man. That man’s hand touched her stomach, it went down under her pants and into her underwear and she let him, stood there dumbly wondering what his fingers would feel like inside her pussy.
“Mm, mm,” she moaned into the towel as the orgasm came finally, roiling over the inside curve of her skull like a thundercloud pregnant with hot rain. Her toes pushed right up and she pressed her thighs together crushing her own hand against her pussy, her strangled cries swallowed up by the towel in her mouth. She snorted through her nose, catching her breath, two fingers pulsing against her button as the passion subsided. Now she could think of Josh, now she could picture him again, his pleasant face subsuming the face of the other man.
Blood thundered in her ears, and she could hear the hoarse whisper of her breath in her lungs. And now she was sure there was someone on the other side of the door.
Josh called her name, and she went still saying, “Just had to pee, Josh, I’ll be right out.”
“Okay.”
Then she was sure he stood a long moment before returning to the bedroom. She whispered fuck and lightly thumped the heel of her fist against the cushioned curve of the toilet paper. If only she’d had the courage to tell Josh the truth. If only she’d not run from it. Maybe it wouldn’t have been made worse today. She’d thought to spare her husband, but her silence only made everything worse. The other thing she could’ve done was tell Devin there was nothing to talk about. Instead, she agreed to meet him . . .
Comments
KT Morrison
got it, thanks!
Glaucon
One thing I just noticed - one of the texts from Devin "You sure did" is not italicized like the others.
TF
I was tempted to go into the weeds, lol, but agree, not much gained. It might be interesting/fun to do a poll on how KT's characters rate strength-wise...male and female. The ambiguity of the terms strength and weakness might be more fully revealed.
Glaucon
That’s interesting to me, because I would say there are a lot of people that would disagree and say that strength is not necessarily tied to morality at all – but to my mind that just goes to show how much it can mean different things to different people! I’ll spare everyone my undergrad thesis lol but I do think language is inherently flawed. As you note, I don’t know how much we gain from going TOO into the weeds on this.
TF
I take your point but we have to be careful not to go too far or we get into an Alice in Wonderland situation as when Humpty Dumpty says, “When I use a word, it means what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less”. Emotional attachment, for example, could be a real weakness or a strength. Thus, to my mind there is a reality associated with emotional attachment independently of how it is seen by an observer. Again, context is important. Emotional attachment that leads, for example, to aiding or supporting intrinsically evil behavior is a weakness no matter how anyone happens to characterize it. Probably making too much of this but….
Glaucon
Those are some great points - personally, I would go even further though. The very definitions of strength and weakness will change from person to person. Some people consider emotional attachments or sentimentality (or even showing emotion) a weakness. Other people would consider a willingness to take on a burden for your loved ones a strength, or that it takes strength to allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable. I truly don't think we can consider human nature in the binary of strong or weak, good or bad, tempting as it might be to think that way. People are complicated, and they can have dramatically different values and perspectives.
TF
Glaucon, You bring up so many interesting points. Like any modifying word, strong and weak are nebulous terms…same with hot and cold…does the term ‘hot’ apply to temperature, sex appeal, weather, car…? On the other hand, if one says a person is ‘strong’ it gives one a general sense of character (or physicality) without precisely defining in what ways. Also it doesn’t eliminate the presence of weaknesses but implies these are less dominant. Language is fascinating…so much meaning of a word relies on the context in which it is used. That's why I really like KT's choice of words that makes her writing so vivid.
Glaucon
I think it's notable that KT did talk about specifically setting out to write a "strong" hotwife male protag in Happy Endings, and you could say something similar about Going a Little Too Far. Having said that, I honestly don't think it's particularly helpful to think of everyone in terms of "strong" or "weak," as I explain below I think those terms are too simple to really capture human character. “Strong” is just too vague a concept that means whatever people want it to mean. When we say strong or weak in this context discussing characters, we’re really using them as placeholders for more specific attributes or flaws, like insecurity, pride, confidence, willpower, etc. Also divorce is decidedly unsexy lol so I doubt it would ever be made much of a focus in any KT story. And anyway there's way more possibility in this high humiliation story for Josh to have to stay married and undergo the indignity of knowing exactly how his wife's stepping out on him.
Glaucon
Something I think we should note - when we talk about “strong” or “weak,” we mean a thousand different things, intelligence, power, status, self-possession, moral fibre, self-sacrifice, you even have people whose ideas of “strong” will be contradictory to another persons. Somebody might think John is “weak” for letting himself become complacent. I actually think strong and weak are vast oversimplifications and not particularly helpful in talking about people/characters overall. (I write my responses in a word document and copy-paste).
Donkatsu
G,R,J, yep, I get all that and your points are excellent. OTOH, John the snowplow driver is certainly not weak, just overworked and out of shape, and lazy in the bedroom. Hotwives come in different flavours, I imagine, and at some point the husband/bf may grow a little more spine and do some jiu jitsu on the bull and his wife. As to where Josh and Kimmy are headed, it is not into Jordan's office (they probably cannot afford you in any event🤓). Josh will wallow in his humiliation, shame, and uncertainty/terror. Then something else will happen. Who knows, only KT. (BTW, how do you put in paragraph breaks? When I hit return the post publishes.)
Chinookfan72
RCH divorce is a possibility, but so is Josh’s acceptance of a hotwife relationship with Kimmy only KT knows where this one is going to end up.. Donkatsu, it’s hard to write the male protagonist of a hotwife story as always strong... they almost always have to do something weak to either get them in the position they are in or to maintain the position or else the stories tend to be short (like KT’s story released today). A cheating wife story like this has potential, as the husband can remain in the dark until the reveal. In this story’s case though that really isn’t possible because Josh is constantly being confronted by Devin about the possibility, and Kimmy’s behavior is doing a poor job of reassuring Josh that nothing is happening. As for the discussion of Ben from Chelsea hates libby, sure he is somewhat successful at work, but to me he is one of the two weakest male protagonist’s in the KT universe ( the other being Max, from the Maggie series). Not because he hooked up with Chelsea, but because his way out of it was to have someone else seduce his wife. To me that shows a lack of care for your spouse’s personal well being and is about as weak of a move, imo, that a person can make.
RCH
Yes, a chance with the cool girl can't blame Ben too much for his weakness. But what's with Kimmy? Counselor are we heading for divorce court with Josh and Kimmy?
Glaucon
It's true, there's circumstantial evidence both ways! For all we know, Kimmy and Devin just made out or something. Lol I hope the uncertainty is maintained for a while! It's makes for excellent tension. And thinking of it in terms of a book, we're really only a handful of chapters in.
Glaucon
lol get this - I'm a divorce attorney. Anyway, I think I'm just interested in human behaviour and I get to see a lot of it. To your other point, I'd say that people aren't so binary as all that, either strong or weak - someone can become successful and confident but find it hard not to think of themselves in terms of HS when put in the presence of those people they associate with high school. Think of Ben in Chelsea Hates Libby, successful guy done well for himself, but the second Chelsea walks in he's that awkward kid in HS and holy shit! that's the coolest girl in school!
Donkatsu
Glaucon, good points and accepted. What about the other side - the HS nerd who blooms late, mans up and succeeds in life, including romantically? How does he interact with the HS bully? For a while I thought Ben might be an example of that but he certainly failed that test. Harrison has a chance, but we might all be dead before he has his transformation (ok, I will only speak for myself - I might be dead before that happens. A bit OT - you seem to be very interested in shrinks types issues. Is that your business or just a hobby?
Glaucon
it's a vulnerable time in people's lives, they form memories before they build up an outer shell - interacting with people from that time can emotionally regress you back to those points so it's a useful tool in making the grown male protagonists, now better established and more confident, feel weaker and less confident in themselves.
Donkatsu
KT, doesn't it always go back to high school? Kimmy and Josh, Libby and Ben, Jamie and John, Taylor and Harrison (and Colt, et al).
RCH
There is a couple of lines from the last chapter that tell us something happened; "soon everyone would know what Kimmy and Devin had got up to at the party" Again something to be ashamed of but not specific. And this: "Thinking of his hands, how large they were, how masculine. Thought of how despite their size and strength they had remarkable well-groomed grace." I'm still holding out for no intercourse Kimmy is so focused on Devin's hands! No fantasy of his massive volume only his hands and masculine face. Kimmy is wanting to open up to Josh about what happen but is unsure. Oh the sweet agony of this story!
Chinookfan72
true, there are multiple ways KT could take the story I was just laying out the scenario that I’ve come across in other books as TF couldn’t recall a story like this. that being said for now Josh’s approval doesn’t matter, and for the act of Kimmy and Devin hooking up it never will. However Josh is all ready accepting the Kimmy Devin relationship implicitly. If he was against it completely Josh wouldn’t have backed down in this fight. Also, as this is an erotic story, I’d assume Kimmy and Devin are going to continue to hook up and Devin is going to keep telling Josh when they do... so unless you want the story to be more than just the last three chapters repeated over and over again, Josh is going to have to accept that Kimmy and Devin are hooking up... Wether he does this happily (because he gets off on it) or unhappily (doesn’t want a divorce, but realizes he can’t stop Kimmy from seeing Devin so he resigns himself to the situation) is up to KT and will determine where the story ultimately goes. Either way it’s going to be a fun journey, and a long one I hope.
RCH
DnD did you refer to me as Red because of the RCH? Because that happens to be my real initials but they also reference Red C#^$ Hair too. I'm not offended it has always been a humorous fact of life for me. Richard C.H. :) Just don't call me Dick!
RCH
Interesting points! We'll have to see what is up.
Tim ziegler
She seem’s to be a strong woman if she really didn’t want to hurt Josh by cheating she wouldn’t.But deep down maybe she wants to try Devin on for “size” thinking she can control it.But the wrongness and the newness overwhelm her!
Glaucon
Also this chapter was extremely hot in the imagined fantasies of the couple (in stark contrast to their interactions). The ideas that Josh conjures - of Kimmy sinking to her knees for Devin, eyes widening in shock on seeing his size, transitioning into worship – those were some powerful images. Meanwhile, our limited insight into Kimmy has her getting off to the image (memory?) of passively submitting herself to Devin. these are some intense glimpses of foreshadowing. Can’t wait for more!
Glaucon
The taboo and wrongness of it all, for Kimmy maybe, is more a source of heat than an obstacle. Much like Josh, she doesn't want her body to be responding the way that it is, but can't stop it. In a sense this is her body betraying her mind. She's hated Devin, but that anger is a form of passion and can be more complex. She dislikes his arrogance and is infuriated by his behaviour, but that doesn't mean she isn't also physically attracted to his confidence and appearance/physical attributes. Both feelings aren't mutually exclusive. It's the conflict that makes it interesting.
RCH
A good point I didn't catch he works for AJ Swanson part, sorry! Still I don't see the why with Kimmy? Yet! I think the why and the what happened that started this all will be the great revel in this story. A larger volume is not enough to get a faithful wife to open up to a man she despises. It would be very disappointing if Kimmy was that shallow of a character. How could Kimmy even entertain any form of intimate contact with Devin. She not impressed by his fancy cars or display of success. KT is good at character creation. I think there will be something unique in the Kimmy/Devin relationship that caused her to submit on some level at the reunion.
Glaucon
He wouldn't hire Josh, he would hire the company Josh works for (AJ Swanson), which I assume Josh would have no say in. What's he gonna do, quit? (anyway, just a hypothetical)
DavidnDaria
And Vellum is only available for Mac's. :)
RCH
Glaucon, (in my not so humble opinion) I don't think it would be plausible that Josh would do business with Devin under any circumstances. There is no way there is any trust and any business relationship is built on a certain amount of trust going in. Josh would be have to be very greedy and stupid to have any business relationship with Devin. If he gets drawn into a deal with Devin he deserves to lose everything for being foolish! I've been in business and walked away from deals before because I just didn't trust the other party. Josh excitement when he thinks of Devlin being with Kimmy is partly because of male competition! A call to arm boys lets get in there and take that EGG!!! It's confusing as hell because our baser instincts don't jive with our emotional and intellectual views. What makes this so difficult we still aren't sure what happened. What are the circumstances that put Kimmy in a position the have Devlin have control over her? Whether he is been in Kimmy or not is less important than how did they get to the point that something even happened? If Kimmy was drunk or high that would be easy answer. Just horniness or curiosity doesn't explain her actions what ever it was. There is such a information gap at this time.
Glaucon
i really do hope everything gets drawn out as much as possible - this series is gold!
Glaucon
I would obviously dearly love to see this series go on for quite a while, across multiple books. It’s seems to me pretty clear that the story will carry on a bit further with insecurity and unsurety in Josh as he works out what exactly has happened/is happening, meanwhile Kimmy falls further and further under Devin’s thrall. There’s been some discussion of how things will continue after Josh knows for sure. Honestly I think we’ll have a good chunk of time before that. Maybe even a couple books? I can dream lol. Here’s another hypothetical pitch for directions this could take: In the shorter term I could see Stone eventually getting Kimmy to send him pics, having Kimmy dress sexier/sluttier for him (easy things to taunt Josh with). Still a ways from that I think, Devin is still working first on Kimmy’s base reluctance, building a base dynamic of dominance first Could Stone’s company hire Josh's marketing research firm, to gain leverage and further power over Josh, while also further insinuating himself in the life of the Waters? Not to mention how it further humiliates Josh, which Devin would see as a bonus. Devin could pile work on him so he knows Kimmy’s home alone, send Josh taunting messages (and pics/videos?) while Josh is stuck in the office. Could also play into why Josh might not confront Kimmy, as discussed earlier – first of all Josh doesn’t confront because he’s afraid Kimmy will choose Devin, and maybe Devin threatens Josh with sinking the deal in a way that puts the blame on Josh. So as long as he’s a good boy, he has a wife and job, but if he fucks up he’ll lose both (not saying that’s what would happen, that’s just Devin’s threat, and Devin is in Josh’s head enough for Josh to take it seriously).
Glaucon
I'm not certain how necessary it is that Josh become increasingly turned on by the cheating and it becoming a positive focus for him. It's possible, but the predominant focus so far has been on how Josh's approval and consent doesn't matter. He fights the flashes of heat that he feels thinking about how the insurmountable and impossible-feeling gulf in size between himself and Devin produces, in his mind, dramatically different reactions in Kimmy. Those are hot thoughts. And he hates those thoughts.
TF
Thanks for putting me on the right track Jordan. I guess I was unconsciously avoiding that possibility as it is a less attractive scenario to me. But, as you say, KT may well give it a different twist in the end.
Chinookfan72
You are correct Josh isn’t a hotwife husband, but this isn’t a hotwife story. This is a cheating wife story... I have read some short stories etc. that play on erectile disfunction... it’s like Josh first hates that Devin could be fucking his wife, but then the idea starts to turn him on... When I read the ED stuff in this chapter it reenforced that Josh does have a desire for his wife sleep with other men somewhere in his subconscious but his conscious self has suppressed those feelings to where Josh’s no longer believe’s he’s had them. One could also see that as proof he has never had those thoughts until now... This is the beauty of how this story is written there is something for everyone in every scene. If KT is consistent with other stories that I’ve read of this ilk. Josh’s ED will continue such that the only way he will become aroused is if he is picturing Devin and Kimmy going at it in some form or fashion. Ultimately It will continue to a point where Josh admits to himself he does have the fantasy of his wife sleeping with someone else. At that point he’ll stop giving Kimmy a hard time about it, but won’t let Kimmy he’s okay with it. Additionally, Josh will start to enjoy the humiliation and use that as additional fuel to his cuck furnace. Thus Kimmy continues cheating on Josh and the story becomes about three things 1) the sex between Kimmy and Devin, 2) Kimmy’s internal conflict on how she reconciles cheating on her husband and 3) Josh’s continued transformation into getting off on someone sleeping with his wife and being humiliated by that person. Or KT could take the story in the complete opposite direction from the prior stories that I’ve read that have started this way... whatever KT decides to do I’ll be along for journey.
TF
Josh is not the usual ‘hot wife husband’. He’s clearly freaked out by Devin’s aggression and by the hints (he even tries somewhat unsuccessfully to rationalize the calling card in the drawer) of a Kimmy betrayal of his love with a mutually hated throwback of secondary school. The arousal he feels at thoughts of Kimmy with Devin seems (to me) to be much more angst inducing than in the normal (whatever that is) hot wife scenario. And I don’t recall any hot wife book where the husband had erectile dysfunction, quite the opposite (no doubt someone will correct me, ha). So I’m more or less (well totally) at a loss as to what is coming down the pike next.
DavidnDaria
I hear you, Red. The only thing we have to go by is Devin and Kimmy's actions--the bathroom is becoming her go to room. So, if Kimmy and Devin haven't done the deed, "...strange things are afoot at the Circle K..."
Glaucon
Two writing programs! You'd think there'd be a more streamlined option for these things...
KT Morrison
Oh, that's a good one.
KT Morrison
I read 'em! Ha ha, and I appreciate the heads up on typos and such, for sure. I just need a better system for fixing them—sometimes I fix the Vellum file, sometimes the Patreon post, sometimes the Scrivener file. This digest post was taken from the Scrivener document and some of the changes I made didn't show up. You think I'd be better at this by now...
Glaucon
The way Kimmy seems to think about this latest transgression as makings things worse than what happened on the first night makes me wonder about just how far that first night really went, but we’ll find out eventually. Or maybe it’s just the fact that transgressing a second time has transformed a one-time slip to an ongoing issue. Kimmy doesn’t really make a sound when she’s with Josh – but she struggles to keep herself quiet when she’s alone and just thinking about Devin – there’s a running motif of Kimmy making noise here, foreshadowing Devin (four times or so Josh’s size by volume 😉) making her a screamer. This tension, emotional distance, and possibly even Josh’s insecurity causing erectile difficulties are 100% intended/hoped for consequences that Devin sought by saying what he said in the tent that first night, and following up now via text. It’s interesting to me how little time we’ve actually spent with Devin so far – really just that first scene, and even that was one-sided. Things will really start to turn up once we actually get to see Devin and Kimmy interact. I hope we get the whole spectrum from them, antagonistic beginning to more complicated. The “bu itself” typo I mentioned in the last post was changed, but the dialogue things I noticed weren’t… maybe I’m misreading them? Or maybe KT just doesn’t read these lol :P.
Tim ziegler
“Sticking his head in sand won’t solve his problems he needs to get Kimmy to fess,letting a ass like Devin in the chicken coop is like let the fox in.He’ll do a lot of damage before you get him out!
RCH
DnD, I'm not so sure that Devin has gained entry to Kimmy. I don't think that Josh gave Devin the green light to screw Kimmy ether. Look this is a new thing that is getting into Josh's head after the fact. There is no indication that this was an ongoing fantasy of either one or both of the Waters. If this would have been a prior fantasy of Josh's he would be more into it and press Kimmy to fess up to what happened. We also have no prior indication that Kimmy would want or desire extramarital contact with Devin she hates him! No prior fantasies on her part or Josh's as to any hotwife cheating talk. There has to be something that sparked the incident at the reunion. Girl talk with a friend or acquaintance from HS regarding Devin? Maybe he forced himself on her in someway? What ever it is Kimmy feels guilty. Devin somehow has put himself in a position of power over Kimmy and getting into Josh's head too. Devin is capable of almost anything to get at Josh. KT is weaving more than baskets here! She is so devious!
DavidnDaria
Josh is just a normal guy faced with a completely abnormal situation. Devin is an asshole, plain and simple. That he's had Kimmy is almost certain. I wonder what his wife will think when she learns (if she doesn't know already) that Devin is rubbing her husband's nose in the goings on? I wonder if Josh actually told Devin that he wanted his wife to screw around. Seems to me if Kimmy was in on it, it would have played out by now. So, Kimmy doesn't know. That makes it possible that Josh didn't say anything of the sort. I suppose re-reading the first chapter would be a good thing, because if Devin said he told Kimmy he had permission from Josh, that would be the proverbial straw--especially if he used it to gain entry. Edit: Just re-read... nope nothing was said.
TF
Seems to me Josh is a much too sensitive person to cope being dropped into the situation he finds himself. He’s well on his way to a full psychosis…what is reality anyway Josh? Tormented by Devin’s cruel “Kimmy is too much woman for him”, his mind unable to cope with his wife’s unusual feisty sexiness, he now veers from impotence to premature ejaculation…behavior that will push him further down the rabbit hole. This is certainly a thriller cut from a different cloth than the usual. Compliments to KT on pulling me down the rabbit hole with him…can I wait another week?
RCH
The real Devil is in the writer! This is so sweetly agonizing. We have confirmation that something of a sexual nature happened between Devin and Kimmy but KT teasing out the full truth. Oh the sweet pain of it! So we're looking at some form of blackmail it seems.
RCH
What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! Kimmy...
DavidnDaria
And the hits just keep coming... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PTEqZURh4o
Chinookfan72
Agreed it would be so easy for KT to turn this into a hotwife story, and I applauded the effort to resist. Can’t wait for more.
JamesIsAsleep
Lovely, and excruciating slow burn. I love how many things have been accomplished in one day other than Devin showing up, laundry, Netflix binging (never watched that show btw), nails, naps, but no I dont recall a Devin coming by. Devin? Who's that? I don't know a Devin ... Btw I joke about her lies as if they aren't good, but I love this little liar Kimmy and how good she tries to be at it, and I love her, honest but yet still, guilt fucks. I really enjoy Josh's struggles too. This is a great and unique story in the KT universe.
