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DITW 10-9: Spycam
🕑 Added 2023-06-03 01:00:03 +0000 UTCFor a long while in the morning she watched Josh sleep, sometimes touching his hair, careful not to wake him. He’d had a bad week. The man she’d married had gone far from home, thrusted into a stressful position with his career’s future at stake, and meanwhile bearing the burden of the horrible things his wife may have done behind his back. And they were only his imaginings, inspired by finding her panties in his boss’s couch. What horrible things had he imagined? The truth was worse. The truth was something even his imagination would stay far, far away from.
The way the sun shone in the window lit up his hair, showing the gold in his auburn curls. He looked boyish and innocent, and a lot like the college kid she’d fallen in love with. How could she treat him with such disregard? The whole thing seemed like a blur—no, a greasy smudge on the soot smeared window of an abandoned factory. Six months ago, they were pregnant and were about to begin a family. What happened to that? How did her life veer so far away?
The tears came again, and she slipped out of bed, wiping her eyes, telling herself she didn’t want her sobs to wake him, but knowing she was a coward who couldn’t sit and watch the sun light up an innocent man being punished for her crimes.
She dressed and went to the kitchen, at first thinking she would make Josh all his favorite foods and then realizing that would be a bad idea. The family room blinds were down and the kitchen dim. She stood with the fridge door open, cool air batting her calves, her head in her hands as she found herself in a mirrored maze conundrum. There was no easy way out, no straightforward path to peace and restoration. There may be no path at all. Josh was broken. When she’d played games with Devlin, her steadfast rule was to never hurt Josh. Now Josh was more than hurt. He was emptied, scooped out like a tub of ice cream, just a sodden cardboard husk. And she’d done it. Emptied him. She’d thought she was on top of the game, she thought she knew all the angles. Devlin had been bold and played a one-in-a-million trick shot that left the crowd gasping.
Didn’t Devlin respect her worth? Didn’t she do wonders at Stone Custom Brokerage? Was that a lie?
No. No way. She knew it wasn’t. She’d tracked her predecessor’s work before he’d left and she’d replaced him. The guy played more golf than analyzed contracts. Devlin needed her. Needed her at his father’s company, and she knew he needed her for anything he wanted to do on his own. He wasn’t smart enough without her. Devlin knew her value. Why he’d gamble that value on humiliating her husband made no sense.
So now the fun was over. No matter how much Devlin said the fun was only beginning, Devlin was wrong, and the fun was over. None of this turned out the way she wanted it. Not with Devlin, not with Josh, and not with her job at Stone. She had nothing left but a broken husband, shattered like fine porcelain by his high school bully, and she was left picking up the pieces, on her knees trying not to cut her fingers on Josh’s shards, a tube of super-glue in one hand and the murky instructions for reassembly spread out on the floor. She had nothing now. Nothing but smashed love, heartache, regret, and a burning passion for vengeance.
As much happiness that images of her serving Josh breakfast in bed might inspire, they were happy fantasies that looked nothing like reality. She’d love to do it, ached to, but couldn’t because doing so would hurt him further, a focused revelation of her guilt. Like showing up in Rome. But Josh deserved care. Deserved nothing but the best of care. This was a tightrope act of tender mercy and support and love without playing the hand you’d love to play because it would illuminate your betrayal.
It’d been a long time crying last night. To watch your husband hurting the way Josh was, to let him rest his head on your chest while you milked his erection, knowing in his fevered mind he was watering the tiny sprouting plant bursting from the nefarious seed you’d planted. But she wasn’t alone in that act; Josh’s soil was rich with the nutrients needed for that terrifying plant to grow.
That was a terrible thing to think.
Josh was blameless. She knew he was blameless. It was she who had eroticized the sadistic art of betrayal, polishing those dull surfaces in Josh’s mind that would fantasize about something so cruel until they gleamed like gold.
She sighed, her brain seeking relief from her own torment, a fraction of what she’d heaped upon her husband, snatched a wad of paper towels and dried her cheeks. When she’d pushed the oppressive thoughts back like a lion tamer with a chair, she got to work making a regular, no-big-deal Saturday morning breakfast, one they’d eat before she’d turned their world upside down.
* * *
She queued up an episode of The Office and set the volume a little too loud, balancing her plate on her lap, a mug of tea in one hand on the couch’s arm, her head leaning back to watch down the hall for Josh to emerge. It took a while, half an episode, but at last new light shone in the hallway as the bedroom door opened and she sat forward like she hadn’t been waiting for his arrival, and bit into her cold toast.
Josh came into the family room, eyes dopey, hair in cute disarray, dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants, looking toward the TV.
She paused it. “You really slept in. You must be so tired.”
He nodded and scratched his head.
She said, “I made some breakfast. It’s in the kitchen. Come sit with me.”
He muttered, “I smelled bacon,” and headed into the kitchen.
She said over her shoulder, “There’s scrambled eggs with cheese, too. You can pop it in the microwave. I didn’t want to wake you.”
Josh went through a series of kitchen noises, followed by the hum of the microwave. Soon he came in to join her. She’d imagined the horrible scenario where he would stay in the kitchen, eat at the counter because he couldn’t stand to sit on the couch with her. The relief flooded her fast and hard, making her eyes blurry for a second.
She pressed play, and they watched TV together until they were done. She took his plate, cleaned up, and loaded the dishwasher. When she returned, she found Josh lying on his side, eyes looking somewhere near the TV but not at it. She sat down again and muted the TV.
“What do you want to do today? Let’s go do something fun,” she said.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, flopping down to sit by his bare feet. “I know you’re tired, so we could go see a movie or something. How about that?”
He said yeah, and her heart leaped. She held his ankle, then rubbed his calf. “Hey, you know what we could do?”
“What?”
“Does Meyer have Sophie this weekend?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe we go see a movie with Soph, how about that? Or what if we all went to the drive-in tonight?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t feel like it.”
“Not up to it?”
Josh didn’t answer, then pulled his feet away and sat up, looking straight ahead. He ruffled his hair and leaned forward with his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.
“Okay. Just the two of us,” she said. “Afternoon movie, go get dinner. Just you and me. Maybe we can see Sophie tomorrow.”
Josh breathed into his hands, then sat back again, slumping in the couch, his face red, his eyes bleary and tired. He looked her way, but not at her. He said, “Kimmy, I told Meyer.”
Something deep inside began to grow cold. “Told him what?”
Josh finally met her gaze, and she could lose herself in his eyes, swim in the bountiful absence of the spark that made her husband who he was. He said, “Did you know he was watching you?”
“Meyer? Watching me when? What do you mean?”
Josh looked down, and it occurred to her he thought she’d known she was being watched—did that mean he thought that was why she followed him to Rome?
“When I was gone, I told Meyer to watch you for me.”
“Follow me? Josh...”
“No, just see if you came and went from the apartment when you should be.”
The revelation stunned her, knocked her senseless. She stood, mad and wanting to stomp away, but then plopped back down. How could Josh do that?
Because of what you did to him.
She touched her own face and her fingers’ iciness shocked her. She said, “You had him watch me?”
Josh said nothing and when she turned to face him, he turned to face her. He was silent and unreadable, but those empty eyes killed her.
She nodded, tears coming fast and hard, looking to fill her eyes. “Okay,” she squeaked. Yeah, she deserved that. Nothing to say about that. She stood again, this time not falling, hugged herself and left the room as quick as she could before blubbering in front of him, proving her guilt to Josh in further certain terms.
So Meyer knew.
Would Sophie know?
Her pace quickened as she neared the bedroom.
Would she be exiled from the family, have a niece that would ask later Whatever happened to Aunt Kimmy? she was so nice, and no one would answer poor Sophie, and that little girl would be left with the pervasive dread of some unnamed tragedy that would make no sense to an innocent child.
Would the name Kimmy be forever unspeakable?
* * *
Kimmy padded down the hall and the bedroom door closed with a quiet click. She would cry again and knowing that hurt his heart. Hurt because he didn’t want Kimmy to suffer, but couldn’t stop it from happening. He turned the TV off and sat in silence, looking at the blinds blocking the pale September sunlight.
Maybe they’d go see a movie. They could do that. Dinner sounded good.
Maybe he shouldn’t have told her about Meyer.
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked Meyer to spy on her.
Who fucking knew anymore. Even Kimmy stopped her watery denials. There was no point pretending anymore. Kimmy had done something with Devlin.
But you told her not to deny it. You told her to act like nothing happened. How else is she supposed to act now?
Maybe he was the bad guy. Maybe this despondent display held some measure of drama, of theatrics. If he tried hard enough, maybe he could shake and shudder and find some shape of smile to spread his face.
It didn’t come.
Not the shakes, not the smile. Nothing.
His phone chimed somewhere behind him. He struggled to stand, never feeling so heavy in his life, and searched for his phone, finding it where he’d left it in the front hall when he’d come in late last night.
A text.
Not from Kimmy down the hall, not from Meyer to see how he was doing.
Another unknown phone number, the beginning words showing a lure to get him to swipe the message open.
The text snippet he could read: Do you recognize this beautiful thigh?
Already his heart hammered. Echoes of how this started: dreams of Devlin tormenting him in a tent, of dreaming Kimmy slept with Devlin at Tiffany’s party, of the taunting texts thereafter that seemed to know so much but said so little. Texts that told him he’d find Devlin’s business card in his own front hall.
The text opened, and he read it, aware of the photo below, but not scrolling high enough to make it out yet. Knowing it would be his worst nightmare. Anticipating it with heart-stopping mania.
Do you recognize this beautiful thigh? How would one get such an intimate picture as this?
Then the photo.
Cropped. Zoomed in and blown up. Almost wall to wall flesh in the color of Kimmy’s skin. He tightened his stomach, his breath wheezing with fire. It was the inside of a woman’s leg, from knee to near the crotch. The knee was closest to the lens, in focus, the pattern on the skin there as definable and unique as a fingerprint. Kimmy’s knee. His wife’s knee.
Text me back if you want to see more, Josh.
Comments
L_S87
In how it affects Josh? I agree. I do think it matters in wondering how deeply Amy is entwined in this twisted tail. And it might matter to Kimmy. We get hints, and Devlin has cast blame on Amy before, but we've never seen Amy be anything more than a side player who appears to be feeding Devlin information behind the scenes. I'm simply wondering if she has a broader role in all of this, or if it truly is all Devlin. I seem to recall she wanted something to happen between the three of them, so i've wondered in the past if she's pulling the strings with the intent to set that up, rather than Devlin. We'll see!
CSH
In a true horror story it would be Kimmy secretly sending the texts. Offering Josh the genuine choice to return to the pre-Devlin marriage or plunge forward into the new obsessive relationship. Maybe even crying over the evil of her behavior and the knowledge that Josh was choosing evil Kimmy over decent and kind Kimmy.
Wess
Kimmy clearly likes to be dominated and humiliated eg Cayman public restroom rogering & Devlin shower on the balcony. Maybe she loves Josh but her kink almost makes it a win-win if her sexual servitude to Devlin is fully revealed. I wonder if being humiliated to all their friends might even be in some twisted way a perverse pleasure.
CSH
I’m gonna say that it doesn’t matter too much anymore if it was Devlin or Amy. Only one way Amy would have gotten the photo and known the right time to use it. Plus, Devlin already played the Amy card with Kimmy so even if it’s her it’s still him.
KT Morrison
Interesting...
L_S87
I wonder how Josh's revelation will change how Kimmy approaches this scenario moving forward. To this point, she's been manipulative, but very apologetic in her actions, without actually apologizing, at least verbally. Everything has been to cajole, comfort and pamper, in an attempt to induce him out of his shell. Now that she's feeling humiliated and outed, will she determine she has nothing to lose and go back to her prior actions? Or will she blame Devlin even more? Since Josh clearly believed enough to tell Meyer she cheated, does she now tell him more, or everything, since it's all tumbling out of control and there's little to lose? And poor Josh. Again with the inevitable. Powerless to resist. Also... Devlin or......Amy??
Donkatsu
Since she went to Rome, Kimmy has been trying to figure out ways of getting Josh to accede to her narrative of the situation, one that does not require her to confess fully so that she can push reality to the back of her mind. Even on this morning the wheels are spinning in her head about "what does Meyer know and since when has he known it?" In the past she rationalized some of her behavior with the understanding that Josh allowed himself to be bullied, he wasn't tough enough, he could not leave the past alone, etc. We know Kimmy IS tough. She will not wallow forever. She will construct a "modified limited hangout" (Nixon aide John Ehrlichman's suggestion on how to talk to the press after finding out all the Oval Office conversations had been taped) that bounds the "reality" she is willing to discuss with Josh. The truth will be baying at Josh's door, both crushing him and enticing his kink. Kimmy, once she is back on her feet, will be implying he can have the kink and the marriage, he just has to agree to her terms. She will offer him some relief from the pressure and humiliation of Devlin's burner phone, but only if . . . But first she has to regain control of the situation. I think that was why all the review of the office situation, including her predecessor's job performance and Devlin's native level of smarts, was so necessary. She needs two or three narratives, one for Josh, one for the job, and a third for Devlin. Maybe she can recite the Jabberwocky as well while spinning all those plates in the air.
Tracey52
On the other hand. I see Devlin drawing Josh in. Josh can’t help himself with the dark desires that have been awakened in him. Devlin the master manipulator will have him begging to see him fuck Kimmy. That’s what will probably do Kimmy in. Love the story, but wait between chapters is agonising.
Mike Monroe
This is so sad and heartbreaking. Brilliant KT!!! I love that Kimmy is suffering and Humiliated for a change. This had been Josh's role for a long time. I really do respect that she truly does love Josh and wants for them to be whole again. The mysterious text.. Devlin injecting more venomous poison back into Josh. There is no easy way back for the Waters. Devlin has so much evidence to use to really shatter them further. Kimmy is now broken a bit like Josh by his revelation about Meyer...very interesting the way forward from here...bumpy ride ahead.
CSH
Wow, that was genuinely painful. More disturbing than I expected. I like the role reversal of all this with Kimmy feeling humiliated for a change. I guess that’s a natural progression but not something I had anticipated with the “humiliated in front of friends and family” idea. Bringing back the photos so soon is a surprise to me. Devlin has some devastating ones of Kimmy and Josh now knows how he likes to show off photos to his friends. He must have like 9 books of photos to share at this point. Josh just can’t resist taking the bait can he? I’m curious how Kimmy’s return to work and her relationship with Devlin goes after all this. That will be a tough one to describe, indeed.
Wess
Josh’s pain from Kimmy’s heartbreaking betrayal is exquisite in it’s slow reveal. I’m so glad KT didn’t side step what needed to happen. At least for me. I hope this epic collapse rattles windows and leaves a thick layer of soot on Kimmy & Devlin. Ok. That was dark. This is still one of my favorite stories. Right up there with Cherry Blossoms.
