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DITW 10-19: Heavy Cargo
🕑 Added 2023-06-21 01:00:10 +0000 UTCThe shock found him at last, looping off the 401 highway into Ajax, moving along Kingston, the Tim Hortons sign lit up on his right, twenty-feet high.
What had just happened?
How low had he sunk?
He pulled into the Tims because his hands were shaking. Fuck, everything was shaking. First thing he thought, driving near the end of the drive-thru lineup, was he had to get the panties off. He had to get them off right fucking now. He didn’t need a coffee, and sure as fuck didn’t need a goddamn donut at this moment. So he bypassed the lineup and backed into a parking spot where he’d be hidden behind the hulking metal cargo container the Tims used as their trash storage.
When the car was off, he stayed posed like he was driving, with his hands gripping the wheel, jaw flexing, and his eyes laser focused straight ahead, looking at parked cars glimmering under the parking lot lights.
The texts that had lured him to Devlin’s.
Do you still have the panties?
Josh: yes
bring them
Josh: Why?
I want to see them. I want to see you wearing them.
He unlatched his seatbelt and climbed into the back of the Qashqai, where no one would see him—where he hoped no one would see him. He undid his jeans and took them off, cursing under his breath, cursing himself for the weakness he showed.
Those textual taunts had come to him in his weakest, most unseeing moment in his entire life. And he behaved like the fourteen-year-old automaton Devlin conditioned him to be, all those years ago. Complete compliance. To do otherwise would result in pain and destruction.
He slumped in the back of the Qashqai, a man wearing no pants, only his cheating wife’s underwear. Devlin fingered Kimmy. That wasn’t a lie.
And what about the other stories Devlin told you?
It was unbelievable. Unbelievable to have arrived at this point, lying in the Qashqai’s cargo, looking at the unlit dome light and feeling like he had nowhere to go. Back home? Back home with Kimmy?
He thumbed the panties off, getting naked in a Tim Hortons parking lot, like a pervert. Like a masochistic pervert.
Like the masochistic pervert that he was.
Then he scrambled to get the jeans back on before someone caught him. That would be great. Right on his criminal record. Harmeet bringing him into the office and reading back the police report.
Josh, were you naked at a Tim Hortons?
No, I was wearing panties.
Women’s panties?
They’re my wife’s panties.
Like that would make it better. Well, maybe it would. He could say, “My wife and I play a little game. The cops just showed up at the wrong time, Harmeet.”
But tonight’s game was between him and his wife’s boss. Not Kimmy. Kimmy was home alone, probably sleeping, maybe watching Netflix. And she knew nothing about what he did tonight. What he did behind her back.
Just like Kimmy crept behind your back.
And, holy fuck, if Devlin showed Kimmy a small percentage of the cruelty he showed Josh, how much had Devlin made Kimmy suffer?
Bad enough she came running to find you in Rome.
He put a hand over his heart, still staring at that blank dome light, thinking of the torture Devlin had put Kimmy through. He’d blamed himself. Blamed himself because he liked the blame; liked to be the center of attention. But he and Kimmy were just puppets in Devlin’s marionette show.
“Fuck’s sake,” he said, alone in the cargo space, the hand on his heart forming a fist and thumping down on the Qashqai’s cargo carpet—then he was climbing into the front again, sitting, angrier, the shock dissipating. He buttoned up his jeans and put on his seatbelt.
That fucking asshole.
Devlin had lured Kimmy. He’d lured Josh as well. Devlin had moved them around like toys on an airbrushed battlefield.
Now he wiped his brow with the back of his hand, admitting something awful: He’d liked it. He’d liked it, and Kimmy liked it, too.
Whatever had happened between Kimmy and Devlin, Kimmy had liked it.
Kimmy liked getting fingered.
Out loud, he said, “Liked getting that deep pocket stretched,” then belched and held a fist to his mouth, plugging an acidic retch that wanted to whisk up his lunch all over the Nissan. Once the fire’s heat abated, he muttered, “She fucking liked it.” He thumped the steering wheel. “She fucking liked it,” he said again, louder, the slogan becoming his new mantra.
Fucking bitch.
He started the Qashqai and revved the engine. Then stopped, let it idle, and thought some more.
He unplugged his phone from the stereo system and swiped it to life, going straight to the texts. The ones that came from the unknown number. He read them again.
I want to see your little cock in them.
Why had he worn them? If Devlin said something so cruel, what kind of man would comply?
One who wanted to wear them already. One who wanted to submit.
Had Devlin known? Had Devlin known the obsession he held for the sultry satin fabric that caressed his wife’s privates? The ones she’d stripped away for another man?
He’d wanted to wear them, wanted to feel the satiny tightness on his hard cock. Devlin making the request had been his license. He’d shown up before the very man who’d stripped them from his wife, like a dutiful and willing soldier in some wicked war game.
Again, only one question: what kind of man are you?
“One who hates himself,” he answered, and kept reading through the wicked texts.
Josh: why would you want to see that?
because you want to show me
Josh: is that your fantasy?
you know it’s yours, Josh
He heaved a hurting sigh and tapped his forehead with his phone edge, reliving the brutal humiliation that seemed like a dream now. An unreal event. But he’d done it. It wasn’t done in a dream. He’d shown Devlin he wore Kimmy’s panties.
He sniffled and sighed more, overfilled with terrible emotions he couldn’t name, wallowing in existential dread and watching cars creep along to the menu board to order their late night coffees.
you know it’s yours, Josh
But when he’d showed Devlin he wore them, Devlin didn’t know what to think. Devlin took a look like he didn’t know what he was looking at. Devlin said he was surprised.
In his head, he had screamed, “You fucking told me to, you asshole!”
He read the text string again, starting from the top, bypassing the photos of Kimmy’s inner thigh. Then he read through them once more.
“Holy shit,” he sighed, turning off his phone and laying it in his lap.
Did Devlin have an accomplice?
Did Devlin’s accomplice prank Devlin, telling their prey to show up in Kimmy’s panties, and Devlin didn’t even know?
Two bullies. Rumble and Devlin. As usual. Rumble and Devlin together, Rumble laughing later when they played over Josh showing up at the apartment, Rumble saying to Devlin, “Did our little buddy show up in women’s panties?” And Devlin punching his arm, laughing, saying, “You fucking asshole, it scared the shit out of me, I was like, ‘Dude, why are you wearing panties, and why the fuck are you showing me?’” Rumble laughing, saying, “Next time I’m gonna tell him to suck you off,” and they collapse together in masculine hysterics, beating their fists on Devlin’s leather couch—where he’d fingered Kimmy—and Devlin can barely breathe, wheezing, “Dude, his little dick was so fucking hard in those women’s panties.”
“What a fucking loser,” they’d say together.
He’d worn the panties as an act of defiance, not compliance. At least that’s what he’d told himself.
Show him the panties, humiliate Devlin for even asking. Is this what you wanted to see, a man in women’s panties?
But in the end, what mattered was he’d complied. That’s all that mattered.
And now in the aftermath, what he’d done was even worse than compliance. It was a whole tenth level of humiliation and manipulation.
Had Devlin been the one to ask? Or was he the butt of someone else’s joke?
He undid his seatbelt, got out and opened the rear hatch, that dutiful dome light on now, bright and eager, and finding the panties bundled up in a ball, casting a sharp black shadow under their satiny shine. He grabbed them, marched to the sea-can, took a half minute to figure out the lever, then opened it and threw them in.
You’re such a wimp. You’re such a fucking wimp.
He slammed the door closed and re-locked it. Then, back into the Nissan, driving out of the Tims, less than five minutes from home. Less than five minutes from Kimmy.
But as soon as he pulled out, he growled and flicked his indicator, cutting across oncoming traffic to pull a U-turn, and headed back to the Tims.
There was an awful truth he had to recognize here: only Kimmy knew he’d obsessed over those panties.
* * *
Josh woke her coming into the apartment after eleven o’clock. She lay in bed with her eyes open, listening and waiting for him to make it into the bedroom.
For the first time in weeks, Josh had gone out tonight to do a normal thing. A thing he would have done on the regular before the summer. Before everything in their lives had been cast in shadow. She hoped he’d had a good time with Meyer, and that he kept his mind off his burdens. They were moving their game piece back to where they’d been happier, and there would be no deviation, no questionable playing.
When the bedroom door opened, Josh didn’t enter, only stood in the doorway, like he watched her. She lifted her head to see him standing with stooped shoulders, a shrouded figure in the dark. It scared her at first, so she called his name, worried for a second the man wasn’t her husband at all.
Josh answered. “Hey.”
She stretched her legs out straight under the covers. “Did you have fun with Meyer?”
“Uh-huh,” he said, entering the room, pulling off his shirt.
Had he been drinking?
If he drove drunk, she would kill him. She lifted her head higher from the pillow and watched him. “Did you drive yourself home?”
“Yeah,” he said, unbuttoning his jeans.
“Were you guys drinking?”
Josh shook his head no.
She said, “Were you?” Like she was unconvinced.
Josh pushed his pants down and stepped out of them. He turned to regard her.
No, he wasn’t drunk. Was he angry?
Her eyes went down his naked body to between his legs, where his cock stood at full, throbbing attention. She raised her eyebrows, surprised but not dismayed. She began to smile. The moonlight came in their apartment window and the way it slanted occluded Josh’s face, kept it in the dark, but his body was lit, his penis sticking out and casting a shadow across his hip like a proud sundial. She said, “What were you guys up to?” Trying to keep it light, wanting to make him laugh, pretending she didn’t notice his obvious arousal.
He came to the foot of the bed, then climbed onto it, naked.
“What are you doing?” she said, laughing, protecting herself, but her heart swelling with happiness to see her husband return to her, hard as a rock, out having fun with his cousin tonight, returning home to have sex with his wife. She cupped his cheek and tilted up her chin, exposing her neck, looking to accept his kiss.
Josh’s hand smoothed her collar, then snatched a tight grip on the back of her neck.
Comments
KT Morrison
I'm loving it. This week and next I'll be pubbing Summer Swap here on Patreon, plus my entry into the summer Hotwife Key Party collaboration, with GK, Max, Lacey, Kirsten, et al.
Tracey52
Thanks so much
Tracey52
Thanks kt for filling us in and for the amount of content you’ve been putting out lately.
KT Morrison
DITW Book 10 ends tonight (one more chapter). Then I'll take a week off DITW while I collect my thoughts on the 11th book, make some notes and plot some milestones, and then we'll jump right back into Kimmy and Devlin and Josh in early July.
KT Morrison
My plan is to continue on as I have been: doing two chapters of Summer Swap a week and three of DITW. I'll continue until both books are finished. Summer Swap is doing really well for me on Radish with over 320 subscribers who are vocal and active. So I want to wrap the SS book up well for them. And I will do DITW until it's done as well. I had thought of 12 books total for DITW.
KT Morrison
What's funny is the racism aspect in the races is reversed here compared to the eighties. Back then it was Spanish boys. In the trailer doesn't Z refer to her "white boys?" 95% of the tennis girls were white in the eighties, and it was Spanish tennis boys from Spain who were all the hot rage. I like how times are changing! Fun to watch.
KT Morrison
Oh wow, okay. Artiste of some kind.
Mike Monroe
I hope not .I know KT said the end of BK 10 was near. I know we need more info before this Book ends. Really want to know what happen those missing 3 days!
Tracey52
Are you joking? The story couldn’t possibly end here. I’d burn Patreon down.
L_S87
LOL, well, you guys are certainly in the right place! I enjoy KT's novels and series that go nearly pitch black because she does such an amazing job with the characters and emotions portrayed in them, but my preference trends towards a bit lighter, or at least an ending that can make you smile for the MC, even if they're brutalized and beat up emotionally. Which even DITW could still have that. (I think?) The only novel i can remember reading from KT that had me going Nope, Nope, Nope, never reading that again, was Going to Far. Which was probably right up your alley. Keep up the good work, KT! Even when i'm being a poor critic, your novels are still better than 99% of what's found on Amazon.
Glaucon
PS, fun trivia, this guy wrote the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FQU4KzN7A
Glaucon
of course, honored co-founder.
CSH
I think I was a founding member of that party alongside you.
Glaucon
Meanwhile, I'm over here as the President and Treasurer of the All Darkness All the Time Party :P
Mike Monroe
Absolutely agree ..We waited a while to continue this journey. Summer Swap is Good by this one is a scorcher!!! As much as I despise Kimmy and Devlin..I also love this series! Still would love Separate Schools to continue!! If this is it for BK10...I will always go revisit Lesson Learned or Cherry Blossom for some more darkness!!
Glaucon
It's funny, Zendaya's character's apparently career-ending knee injury put me in mind of Rachel's leg injury from Rachel's Truth as an emblem of frustrated ambition/adventurousness, ultimately channeled in a darker/erotic direction. Which also seems to be my read on the direction implied in the trailer here.
L_S87
I get that. (And you're not wrong about finishing, also sorry KT) We've been on this ride for quite a while. For me the less angst with SS is a nice balance to DITW. I don't want all darkness all the time. Partly because SS and Keely shows that KT is amazingly flexible and can write a good romance novel (that still isn't all sunshine and lollipops due to conflict and pain) when she sets her mind to it. Which is probably why i like them so much. I prefer books with challenge that ultimately are a great love story with Happy Endings (totally meant to do that, KT)
Tracey52
Nah. I want to get Devil in the Waters done as much as I love Summer Swap. One because it seems kt never finishes anything anymore (sorry kt) but more importantly I just gotta know how this ends. Much less angst in SW so I can wait.
KT Morrison
Wow, that looks like a great premise. I would write a book like that, for sure. I would love to have done a tennis one, too. I actually spent time in that world, even. Attending famous tennis schools, having close friends who became small time Zendayas, like in this movie. Those experiences (a long, long time ago when I was Zendaya's age) fueled a lot of Maggie, but I didn't make any of the characters student athletes. Jeez, kind of weird, ha ha.
L_S87
First. I owe you an apology, KT. Should have had more faith that you'd find a way to give an explanation. I will say that the explanation still doesn't quite allay my confusion as i feel it's a bit contradictory to his actions prior to meeting Devlin, but it's a credible explanation why he would do something that feels incomprehensible in the moment. Josh is nothing if not an enigma of contradictions. Which goes with how he acts here. We FINALLY see him understanding the truth, or at least some portion of it, and getting righteously pissed at Kimmy, enough to lividly call her a fucking bitch. Pissed at the entire world at this point because Devlin's an asshole, he's a wimp who won't stick up for himself and the one person who should love and protect his heart "fucking liked it". Which he hates, but also lusts for. Hence his actions at the end. That ending... wow. Like others, i don't see him hurting Kimmy, but i do see him wanting some rough grudge sex to alleviate the pain of the night. Will he use it as an opportunity for interrogation? After all, Devlin did dump all the onus on Kimmy to explain "the truth". If Kimmy, for once in the entire series, actually tells him the truth, that from the moment she started having sex with Devlin, it was always about her darkness, her wants, how will he react? How would it make him feel to know it's not all on him at all, in fact it mostly isn't on him? If he asks her to tell him the first time they had sex, how will he react if he finds out it was at the Port Royal, weeks before the game started? My Theory: Kimmy's reaction here, unless she's completely schizophrenic, lends credibility (for me) that she didn't knowingly betray Josh. So.... it wasn't Devlin who walked it that door.... it was Amy. And catching Kimmy in that moment of vulnerability, completely naked, she spilled her guts. And Amy used it as a weapon against Josh. Because Amy has always seemed to detest him, for whatever reason. (Maybe because Amy has always wanted a piece of Kimmy for herself, like Hyun, and sees Josh as the asshole who stole her and ruined her?) If Josh makes some accusations... how quickly would Kimmy put two and two together? P.S. KT, I still want more Summer Swap. It's like a palate cleanser for all the dark debauchery and hatred from DITW.
Tracey52
My take is that Josh still sees Kimmy as a victim as he is. Kimmy will admit some twisted version of the truth and manipulate him to get what she wants. Devlin will have what he wants and Josh will except that’s what he wanted also, or at least it was the inevitable outcome. It’s like a Greek tale of mythology. Anyway will see how it pans out. Kt is a legend the way she sets this up. This chapter by chapter is torture but somehow gives me more empathy with what is going on with Josh. Each chapter gives us more information but just raises more questions so you’re always dying for the next bit of information.
CSH
Wasn’t expecting that either - but let’s wait and see what he’s up to. No way is he going to hurt her. These realizations are a good turn for the Josh character giving him some self awareness. I admit to a bit of worry after the last chapter but this fully explains that behavior. Gotta love Josh throwing the undies away then going back to fetch them again as well. And finally some real logic from Josh. Is this his equivalent of post sex clarity? You’re not really gonna end this here, now are you, lol?
Mike Monroe
Well is Josh going down for murder one! ..finally 1+1=2...Kimmy was in on it with Devlin! I think Josh has figured something out! Kimmy and Devlin played him all this time..everything just a game to humiliate him...Maybe he finally grew a pair??? Hands around the throat!!! Definitely a twisted turn ahead maybe??? Is this end of Bk 10??
JL23
That took a turn I wasn't expecting, I will say that.
JL23
Well now..
Glaucon
Hey KT, did you get a writing credit on this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDnVk5jIJr0
