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DITW 10-20: Darkness
🕑 Added 2023-06-22 01:00:02 +0000 UTCJosh’s lips met hers, and her husband’s renewed strength conjured excitement. Gone was the timidity, the hollow, fragile man, whose eyes roamed dull and unseeing. His grip on her neck was strong, his kiss direct, his cock hard. Hard without any performance from her. Josh didn’t need dirty encouragement. He’d come home from a casual night out with his cousin, already thinking of his wife and the things he wanted to do to her.
Josh prowled over her on all fours, clawing the bedding while she kicked with her feet and knees, both of them working together to remove the cotton barrier separating them. His knees straddled her hips as she sat up, Josh rearing, his kiss leaving her mouth for the first time and already missed, his hands raking down her back and pulling up the oversized t-shirt she slept in. Her hips rocked to free the shirt hem trapped under her bum, and his bare cock poked her in the cheek, then scored along by her ear. She kissed Josh above his pubic tuft as he worked the shirt over the back of her head.
But she had no patience. Moving her mouth to the point of his erection, Josh’s cock head parting her lips, her jaw relaxing, her neck lowering her mouth until she engulfed almost his entire length. Josh exhaled a long, satisfied sound, like his Kimmy sucking his cock was the thing he’d needed most in the world at this moment, and he hadn’t anticipated it.
She circled a thumb and forefinger around the base of his cock, the other three curling around his balls and squeezing them against her palm, remembering the uncomfortable moment earlier in the week when Josh had asked her to hurt him. Tonight she offered no brutal handling, thinking only of giving him pleasure, in the hopes he would be inspired to reciprocate. She missed him.
Josh lost himself in the pleasure she delivered, his hands cupping over both her ears, the t-shirt like a hood tugged over her head. As much as she wanted him to make love to her, if he didn’t stop what she was doing, she would love to suck him until he came into her mouth. With his hard cock in her mouth, she felt forgiven.
Josh stopped her at last. Thrusting his cock deep into her mouth until she gagged. She coughed spit around his shaft, tried swallowing and gulping. If Josh wanted to face fuck her until she retched, she would comply. Anything for his love to return. Anything for Josh not to hate her.
At last, he withdrew, and she coughed and heaved for air, backhanding the wet from her lips. Josh took her face in his hands and guided her to look at him.
“That face,” he said. “That perfect fucking face. You are so crazy beautiful.”
She didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know how to react to this off-kilter Josh who showed up in their bedroom. She only met his gaze and said nothing, ready to hear whatever he wanted to say, which was, “Scoot back and sit on the pillows.”
Eyes still on his, she complied, putting her hands out behind and shifting backwards until her butt touched the pillows. She was topless, wearing cotton bottoms, her nipples hard and aching.
“Take off your panties.”
She said, “Okay,” and began thumbing them off her hips, still watching his eyes.
As she got them down to her ankles, he said, “Hang them on my cock.”
She struggled to comprehend, expressing befuddlement with a furrowed brow. But complied again, hoping she understood, looping a panty leg hole over his upright cock like it was a hook on the wall. The fabric dangled under his balls, hung on his cock.
“Sit back and open your legs.”
She whispered, “Okay,” again, and leaned her back on the headboard, eyes on Josh, wondering where his head was at, and parting her legs.
“Wider, Kimmy.”
And she did that, too. Parting her legs wider, exposing her pussy in full view to him.
“Like you want me to see it. Like you want me to fuck it.”
She shuddered a small tremor, not expecting such a harsh command from her husband. But turned on just the same and doing what he asked, humping her hips toward him like she needed his cock inside her. Which she did, she really did. “Like this?”
“That’s it. Now get it wet.”
Josh talking to her in this manner was almost offensive. But she would do anything he asked, anything to redeem herself in his perception. Tummy tucked in, hollowed, her hand went between her thighs and over her mound. She watched Josh’s eyes as Josh’s eyes watched her play with herself. She parted her petals, rubbed finger pads, pressed the base of her middle fingers over her hooded clit and rolled back and forth. Soon came a quiet wet clicking sound—proof she’d completed what he asked for. At the sound, Josh gripped his cock and stroked it. His grip included her panties, using the warm cotton fabric to rub his skin.
Fingers parting her labia, exposing her canal to her husband, she whispered, “It’s yours, Josh.”
Josh kept panty-stroking. Then, voice dry and stony, he said, “Is it?”
The chill of his question prickled her skin and tightened her heart. Something had happened. Something had changed. The urge to pretend he hadn’t challenged her on possession of her sex, to instead move on and encourage him further to make love to her, was strong, but not strong enough to stabilize her emotions. She would break down if she spoke a word now. Her eyes swelled, her tongue thickened. The vision of Josh masturbating warbled through teary vision. She squeezed her eyes shut, felt a tear collect in her eyelashes. When she opened her eyes again, she encouraged Josh without using words, tilting back her head, narrowing her eyes and parting her lips. Even through the hurt in her heart, her pussy clicked with increasing excitement.
“Turn around,” he said. “Get on your hands and knees.”
Her hand left from between her legs, and she sat unmoving for a long moment and when nothing changed, she rolled to her side and did what Josh asked her. She got on her knees and her elbows, hugging a pillow under her chin.
Josh’s hands caressed her ass and her waist. His touch wasn’t angry. It was caring and loving, and she wanted to relax, wanted to chase away the notion that something had changed, that the tender rapprochement she’d clawed Josh back to hadn’t been sullied. But dread still gripped her.
When the head of Josh’s cock pressed into her wetness, she sighed his name. A real and honest expression, not a charade, not some sort of act meant to convince him. An honest sound created from their first physical union in weeks. Josh’s penis wasn’t enormous, wasn’t a thick, veiny monster, but it wasn’t plastic or rubber or silicon. It was flesh and blood and real and loving and meant for her. It felt incredible. One hand left the clutch on the pillow and reached back, her finger pads seeking her husband’s thigh, finding it and caressing it as he began to stroke his hardness in and out of her, getting it coated with her lubrication. She wanted to blubber all sorts of testaments of her undying love for him, but knew those would sound false at this moment, even if she meant them. She bit her tongue and focused on the combination of their two bodies and the intimate—though impersonal—connection.
“Such a beautiful back,” Josh said, his hands now moving up from where he held her waist and smoothing over her shoulder blades and up and down her spine. “You are an incredible thing.”
She bit her lower lip and moaned, her hips swing while he fucked her slow and gentle.
“Devlin doesn’t deserve this.”
She stiffened, and ceased her hip swaying. Her heart raced and her mind darted for a reasonable meaning to his statement. And a reasonable response. Moving away from him and lashing out. Isn’t that what an innocent wife would do? Josh didn’t think she was innocent—but he didn’t know how guilty she was.
She said, “No,” with a quiet, noncommittal tone. Neither confirm nor deny. But what was at stake here right now wasn’t winning or losing. It was bigger than that, the stakes amounting to everything in her life that mattered. The urge to lie left her alone on the street corner in a dangerous part of town. She felt scared and helpless and the only thing that could soothe her was submission and devotion.
“But he saw this,” Josh said in a menacing whisper.
She couldn’t say no. Couldn’t bear to construct Josh’s false world any further. Josh wanted the hurt. She wanted the preservation.
“I’m yours,” she said.
Josh said nothing in return, stroking his fingertips along her naked back, fucking her slow and steady. It was dirty talk. Only dirty talk.
“What a sight,” he said to himself. “Devlin saw you like this.”
She whimpered and bit a mouthful of the pillow. She let go of Josh’s thigh and clutched the pillow with both arms.
“He fucked you like I’m fucking you, and you wanted it because he’s rich and handsome and hung.”
She spat out the pillow, playing games of dirty language with him like she would have before he found her panties in Devlin’s couch. “I’m such a slut,” she said, pure porno trash talk, some cutesy bromide used to get a man off.
Josh curled his chest over her back, his cock almost slipping right out of her. He traced the hair from her cheek and ear and whispered, “You’re no slut, Kimmy. You know it and I know it.”
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, trying to distract him from words that were beginning to sound acute and accusing, waggling her bottom against his hips like a needy little slut would.
He held the back of her neck again and thumbed the ridge of her cheekbone. “I thought it was me. I thought I was the dark one.”
“Yeah?”
“But it’s you. It was you the whole time.”
“No,” she said in tiny, soft protest.
“You’re so dark.”
“We’re just playing, Josh,” she reminded him.
“When he fucked you like this, I bet he got so deep inside you.”
She whimpered again, then whispered, “Yes,” hoping if she encouraged filth into his mind, he would orgasm and he would quit this awful dialog.
More serious: “He fucked you deep?”
“Uh-huh,” she squeaked, shutting her eyes tight.
Josh groaned with pain and pleasure, his right hand sweeping underneath her and running over her tummy, his ring finger dipping into the shallow of her navel. Then two fingers pressed on a point above her navel and she imagined Josh picturing how deep Devlin’s huge penis would sink inside her.
She whispered, “So fucking deep,” pushing her hips back against him, moaning with awful pleasure at the feel of her husband’s shallow and insistent penetration. Josh’s manhood was quivering steel now. As hard and inhuman as the thing she’d masturbated with on Devlin’s bed.
Josh grabbed her hips and fucked her fast and hard. She took it, listening to his breath coming faster and faster, getting shaky and hoarse, hammering his hips into her bottom with a rapid-fire beat.
“Deep, Josh,” she said, “oh, he fucked me so deep, baby,” her voice jouncing with her husband’s hungry thrusting. And it sent Josh over, her husband grunting, growling, whimpering as if in pain, but orgasming huge, his cock flexing inside her as he filled her insides with his seed. The enormous wet turned her on like crazy and now she was whispering things for her own sake. “Oh, that’s it, oh, come inside me, Josh, come inside me, don’t pull out.”
Josh collapsed on her back, a quivering, trembling weight. He rolled away like he didn’t want to crush her, panting for breath. She rolled her head from the pillow and Josh was quick to grab her cheeks and kiss her, like he wanted to reconcile after the terrible things he’d said. And the terrible things she’d said.
It was only the heat of the moment. It was only Josh’s dirty passions. She grabbed his face, too, kissed him harder in return, scooting close so their naked bodies would connect as much skin as they could. His seed seeped from her, rolling through her seams and down one thigh.
Josh eased away, covered his mouth with one hand, looking like a man witnessing a horror, and she stayed with him, closing an arm over his neck and kissing his forehead. She held him that way for long, loving minutes. Both their breaths reduced to normal and their fast-beating hearts slowed enough the room seemed quiet and still again around them. She hugged his head and kissed his hair.
When at last he angled his face so their eyes met, she said, “Was that dirty talk?”
Josh looked away. “You tell me.”
Her heart sank, and she held his head tighter. Josh didn’t retreat. He enjoyed her embrace.
Eyes across the room, she said, “Did you go to Meyer’s tonight?”
His head shifted, and he sighed, reaching down to grab a corner of the bedding and cover their upper bodies. He said, “Do you think I would lie to you?”
She let his head go and returned to her pillow and they looked at each other, both of them on their sides, naked, with a flimsy delta of covering over their torsos. Their eyes darted over one another, white spots glimmering in Josh’s, the reflected moon behind her shining in the apartment window.
He said, “Do you enjoy humiliating me?”
It shocked her and her mouth fell open, her heart wounded. “Josh,” she said, furrowing her brows in sternness, “No.”
He stared and thought. Then: “Did it... Did it turn you on when you did?”
Her mouth worked open and closed and a thousand answers stuck on her tongue. She closed her mouth, her features crumpling, shame blooming larger and larger, too much to bear. The ability to lie and spin golden stories thinned to watery nothing, and she bit her lower lip hard, her breath beginning to shake and turn to snuffles. She closed her eyes and nodded, and Josh put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her close.
Comments
KT Morrison
I began writing the next book this weekend. It will begin very soon!
BGPitt
I'm looking forward to the next chapter ;)
L_S87
I have hope. I won't give it up, no matter how unrealistic it is, until Kimmy shows a complete inability to have remorse or refuses to make an attempt at redemption. She doesn't deserve any of it, but Josh does. That, of course, assumes Josh has enough clarity to want that for the future. We'll see.
L_S87
Well, you don't have to send texts just from a phone, although that's a bit deep into a technical thing that i'm not sure any of these characters would understand or utilize? It's a good point about the same number, BUT, if Amy has always been the one texting, and simply relaying info to Devlin (which Kimmy proved was happening when she said negative things about Devlin to Amy and then Devlin responded immediately by withholding sex) then it could be Amy who made initial contact and simply slipped in the panty demand without telling Devlin she did it.
CSH
No way Kimmy tells Josh the truth on a pregnancy. I don’t see her telling him the truth on any of the affair except the bare minimum. She’s admitted something happened. She won’t volunteer any more than that. He probably won’t dig for it either. She doesn’t want to tell him and he doesn’t want to know. I’d say 80/20 Josh accepts the baby as his without openly questioning Kimmy about it. Of course, timing could be an issue, but it’s not like Josh has been doing deep investigative work on her up to this point. He will know she’s lying but will accept what she tells him anyway. Assuming she’s pregnant which is far from certain. She’s had one false alarm already. That would have to be accounted for in the timing. Still thought the earlier books had her go on birth control?
HTO
I’ve lost track of the time. But if she is 8 or 9 weeks in, that would take us all the way back to the beginning of the story. I don’t remember it being clear just how far Devlin and Kimmy went on that fateful night.
Mike Monroe
I think though this will be a shameful incident for her as far as who her family is and how much honor is a big part of it. It would bring terrible shame on her if she is pregnant and it's Devlin's baby. She would need Josh to be fully acceptable to this situation. Her sister still would be the winner because she had done it the most acceptable way! So a lot pressure still with this as a possibility. Kimmy will definitely need all her ducks in a row. So she will have to do whatever to make that happen if she is pregnant. There is no way given Josh's history with Devlin should he accept Devlin's child with Kimmy . Period..no way should he!!
CSH
Well, yes, that’s the conundrum isn’t it? To keep what they want emotionally they need to be honest with each other and curtail their sexual behavior. Getting what they want sexually hurts their ability to have a loving relationship. They want both but I don’t think that’s realistic. It’s a story, not real life, so KT can make it happen, but that’s avoiding the hard choice and she has been willing to hold the line on the tough choice before, even killing off the main characters once. Not every story has a happy ending. Obviously it needs to go one way or another and, while some stories like SS are more lighthearted, I think this one should go down the dark path. These two are addicts, they either quit their addictive behavior or it destroys their relationship. What I see in both is regret for the loss their behavior has caused but an overwhelming compulsion to continue with the same behavior. I don’t know what the ending is, but I’m convinced that although a “let’s all just communicate and be rational and caring about this” approach is the best solution in real life, I don’t think it fits this story at all. No one in this story has shown a desire to talk things out in an open honest way. They cheat, lie, tell half-truths and betray each other and themselves. They follow their compulsions no matter how much harm it does them. A loving rational honest accounting would be completely incongruous here.
CSH
One would assume that the texts come from the same number. So even if there are two people texting as Josh believes, they would have to be doing it together or have access to a joint phone. This makes it hard to be Amy, though Devlin accused her of being the original texter. ( I think Devlin straight up lied about that to throw Kimmy off.) I threw Kimmy out once as a wildcard. If it is her she is hard over onto Devlin’s side. I think she slept with Devlin already. In the end, who knows? KT will likely surprise us all.
L_S87
I think that's why Kimmy has said nothing about it to anyone. I'm sure there's a part of her that doesn't want it to go away, doesn't care who's it is, she's been trying to get pregnant again and now she's finally got it. No more sister rubbing her nose in her failure. Yet, another voice is probably screaming for it not to be real, because it's an unavoidable grenade in the middle of her relationship. This could easily stymie all her attempts at trying to rekindle Josh's love. It's part of why i think truth is in her best interest, because she can't lie her way out of a baby bump, and there's zero chance Josh doesn't take into consideration the likelihood that it's Devlin's. Better to rip the band aid off now, show truth and vulnerability that Josh may sympathize with (like how he held her after her admission here) rather then continuing to rely on deceit that will only alienate Josh once the physical manifestations of her wickedness become too obvious to ignore. KT's written about this a number of times, and while in each of the instances i can remember, acceptance was always the (somewhat foregone) conclusion, i don't think any of those books, even Learning Lessons, had the level of darkness or almost vitriolic hatred we see here between Devlin and Josh.
Tracey52
The pregnancy thing could be a red herring or it’s a big deal , possibly deal breaker when Josh realizes that Kimmy has been reckless. Will also tell him when it started if Kimmy doesn’t.
Mike Monroe
The best thing about this forum is the sharing of opinions and ideas about what could come next. I always love KT way of writing ..putting the reader in the middle of all the angst and emotions, each character she has created to me always seem to come to life in these pages. DITW is a hell of a series and never disappoints and always has me wanting more and guessing next moves, I believe that Josh and Kimmy love each other totally, Book 11 and 12 will push there love to the test I am sure. Devlin is the unknown X factor in what is his motives for this couple, Is Kimmy pregnant by Josh or Devlin if she is indeed pregnant, Will Kimmy finally tell Josh the truth or will she continue to try to manipulate him, Is there someone else that has skin in the game between all these relationships. One thing for sure ,,I would hate Josh accepting a caged role in this or raising some else kid, Both of these would be the weakiest he could be in this, I would rather he just walk away,
Donkatsu
Karina? or was she just a MacGuffin.
L_S87
I believe you're right about her not having sex with Devlin. It feels like Kimmy is committed to trying to "do the right thing" for Josh and their relationship, even though there's a part of her that clearly doesn't want to (hence the scene in Devlin's apartment and her humiliation talk here). Her actions seem to indicate a lot of remorse over what Josh has turned into over the last few weeks, and she sees it as her fault (mostly true, but also not completely as Josh is complicit as well). I think that remorse mostly revolves around Josh no longer being the loving husband/friend/confidante she relies on when these sexual episodes aren't occurring and she misses that part of him, horribly. Josh could be wrong, but i think he's right that there's a second party at play, not just Devlin. Josh thinks it's Kimmy, i think it's Amy. KT will probably reveal the truth to us at some point. Not sure how. I could see Josh making accusations and a lightbulb going on in Kimmy's head, but those accusations only come forth if Josh admits to what he did with Devlin. Not sure he has the courage or desire to do that. Tough spot for him.
Tracey52
This is amazing writing. Josh still loves and adores Kimmy and Kimmy still loves Josh. No doubt. I think Josh will forgive Kimmy once he gets the truth. I think he is beginning to understand Kimmy’s dark side as well as his own. He doesn’t want to lose her nor her him. Will be fascinating to see where kt takes this in July (you promised kt:)). I think that Kimmy wants what they had before, but Josh won’t go back there. Like CSH says, they’re different people now. Where this leaves Devlin, and how they interact with him I’m not sure. He could be the loser. While not stated directly, the impression I got was that Kimmy has not had sex with Devlin in the missing days, but must have had interaction with him because he knew about the obsession with her panties. My guess is that Devlin caught Kimmy at his place but they didn’t have sex. Kimmy wants to save her marriage. She also didn’t know about his meeting with Devlin. So many possibilities. Your the master kt.
L_S87
This is a really good retrospective and analysis, CSH. NOT the way I want things to go, but it makes a lot of sense. I do think Josh shows some love at the end by holding her tight when she reveals a truth that should be horrible for him, Kimmy certainly views it as such, but that probably has something to do with the fact that she finally told him a shred of truth. Certainly his comment about asking if she thought he would lie to her about where he was at was a huge jab at her for all the lying he is figuring out she's done over the last couple of months. I do think Kimmy loves him very much (in her own twisted way), and it's why she feels so awful with the way this encounter went and Josh's assertion of her enjoyment, because how could she want something so awful that clearly harms the man she's married to and insists she loves? So as you say, with that contradiction, how do they move forward and keep that love? I won't say there is no way, I hope that there is, but mostly because I see no way for Josh to stay in this scenario long term if he doesn't keep his love for Kimmy. If Kimmy slowly starts openly treating him worse and worse, humiliating him while she revels in her domination and amazing sex with Devlin, it will thrill Josh sexually, but destroy him emotionally. The sexual thrill will only last so long before it wears off. Which is maybe why this is so dark? Because it's a foregone conclusion that they will fall apart because what they both enjoy is the antithesis of the love necessary to keep a relationship strong and a couple together.
CSH
Another great scene. Lots of subtlety here. Josh’s total objectification of Kimmy. The lack of emotional intimacy in their sex. I’m guessing Josh will never return to loving her the way he once did. Maybe he hates her a bit now? That’s probably necessary for his mental health but has obvious consequences. His love perhaps displaced by his lust. Describing her as a thing. Crushed but also thrilled by the thought that she gets off on humiliating him. Continuing the flip of the previous dynamic, Josh now knowing more truth while Kimmy guesses at the right response to protect her lies. Kimmy wanting the intimacy with Josh but no longer desperate just for sex - implying she recently got what she needed? Maybe she knew exactly where he was. Some of the themes here are only beginning to dawn on me. For example, the Garden of Eden and lost innocence. An innocent, sweet loving marriage corrupted by Devlin bringing the couple to self awareness. Adolescents growing into adults. Kimmy and Josh loved the innocence in each other. Devlin corrupts them both into their darker secret selves who now know cruelty and pain. But the price of growth is the loss of the illusions and protections provided by innocence. Josh wants Kimmy to be his frumpy little cat basket girl and his cruel bitchy sex goddess. Kimmy reveling in her power attorney persona and sex with manly powerful Devlin while keeping her sweet kind video game playing husband whom she can also torture with images of her fucking his worst enemy. Well you can’t really have both, can you? As each of them slip more into their mature sexualized roles, they slowly eliminate the traces of the persons they were and change the person they fell in love with. Because of this, I’m skeptical of the idea the two can just be completely honest with each other and then move together into the future in a shared spirit of exploration. If this was an open marriage or something similar, then maybe. But here, the future we are contemplating is an inherently unequal one where Kimmy and Devlin humiliate and cuckold a masochistic Josh. Even with Josh’s consent that presumes a cruelty that contradicts and destroys the kind of sweet loving partnership that Kimmy tells herself she wants to regain. How much of an innocent loving husband will be left in Josh when he gets locked in chastity to watch Devlin impregnate his wife? Not a lot I suspect.
L_S87
I've come to the conclusion that I will never understand Josh. Livid, mad as hell at his slut bitch of a wife one second, and then a few minutes later, ignoring her betrayal (or what he assumes is her betrayal) to have sex instead, not lovingly, but loving in the end. Though I feel like that may have more to do with the fact that she FINALLY told the truth, for at least this one small minute moment in time. A grain of sand in a beach of lies, but perhaps a start? I'm glad that Josh did figure out she's the real dark one in their marriage. The question is, will he have the fortitude to ask the right, tough, questions and make her answer so they can truly clean the slate? Or will he hide again, wanting to ignore it? Something tells me now that it's out there, and she hasn't denied it, that he'll find strength to dig for the truth. Not sure how he'll react to what he finds, though. It's so much worse than he thinks it is.
Mike Monroe
Finally some truth...like the ending of book 10.. so all bets off for 11 and 12. More twist and turns I bet... Devlin's true motives yet to be seen. Great work KT .loved Bk 10 ... can't wait to own it!
Donkatsu
Bravo, KT. You captured the only credible way Josh could turn things around and regain some degree of power and self respect. Still, this is Josh we are talking about, so it is prudent to withhold final judgement.
