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Warlock Wolf / Bring The Night / Chapter 4

🕑 Added 2024-03-26 02:32:31 +0000 UTC

Comments

Bill F Protagoras

I suppose I'm a bit blasé or just plain dozy, because I didn't even congratulate you on your imposing image of Porter as a huge threatening lycanthrope... backing the eager Lizzy.

Bill F Protagoras

1 set of ways... OK, but I suggest 'set ways' meaning established ways. 2 A shelf ran (along) the left-hand side of the closet at head-height. 3 dressed in costuming of the 1800s should be... clothing or costumes of the 1800s.

Donkatsu

So this is a prequel to he Maggie and Keely series? Keely, poor girl, banished to North America by her family under an assumed name. Perhaps they were afraid she would be accused on sorcery back in Ireland like her mum and grandmum We love Keely and will take her any way we can get her.

L_S87

Also, if I'm allowed one more critique. The word "Now" is used quite often, too much?, to show action in noticeable, and what feels quirky, way. "Now he was on the second floor" or "Now he was walking through the doorway" or "Now he lumbered to the bed". Plus a few others. One of those turns of phrase that seems fine until it's used a bunch of times close together and then it comes across oddly. At least to me.

L_S87

I'm not much for horror films, but my reaction was the opposite of JLs. Loved the missing doll hiding under the bed freaking Porter out. As per usual, your descriptions are awesome. I will say that the fight with the doll feels a bit off. Like Porter wasn't doing things a person would normally do in that position because the whole thing was specifically designed to make Lizzy shine, have her save him, and make Porter look weak. I'm not sure that was the intent, but that's what it felt like due to all the somewhat weird fumbling and lack of trying to defend himself. I'm pretty sure the intent was to show how out of his depth he is with this whole magic thing and magic is what was needed to solve this problem, which is what Lizzy brought to the table, but the confrontation was so physical that it felt odd for Porter to be that inept at defending himself. Although I can see where one might say he felt very discombobulated due to all the craziness so didn't react how he normally would. Don't take that to mean I disliked the chapter, KT, this was a great setup for Porter to see "real" magic, thus putting to bed his flippant thoughts that no one here knows what they're talking about. Also, there's a few grammar issues. One section says "about five minutes from being done this charade". Think that should be "done with". Also, it says they broke up into groups, but he's by himself? Maybe that was meant to convey the group waiting outside vs those investigating, but it didn't come across that way. I can't wait to see how the conversation between him and Lizzy goes in the next chapter.

JL23

As someone who couldn’t sleep for 2 days after watching Child’s Play the first time as a kid, I say: “Please, no more homicidal dolls.”


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