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Embracing Ellie: Chapter 17

🕑 Added 2025-05-29 00:29:40 +0000 UTC

Comments

JamesIsAsleep

I love this as banter between the two of Hemi and Ellie. KT dabbling in the Rom Com space, lol.

Bill F Protagoras

So will Hemi continue to defy the crude rugby player stereotype? I know! Rugby players are human too! That's my point... Also Ellie's exposure as a peeping Tomasina is well overdue... Flighty wench! (Her superhero name!)

Bill F Protagoras

"You go first," she said. "Why me?" "You want me to go first?" "No, yeah, right. Yeah, no, I'll go first," he said, getting up off the table, holding the towel between his legs, covering up." So Ellie has read Machiavelli! Great dialogue...

Bill F Protagoras

Typo... the cupsand bowls, 'cups and'...

Bill F Protagoras

"Spend the whole day with her. You know, she's got a bit of a crush on you…" Canny guesswork, Ms Holmes!

Bill F Protagoras

"swooshed down a hill," Amusing use of swoosh as a transitive verb.

Bill F Protagoras

"of course no one can avoid the 'narrative chokehold' of the employee on a tight schedule." Credit where credit's due! Love it!

Bill F Protagoras

The first paragraph is a great snapshot of Ellie's inner conflicts and confusing emotions... but by now I think we know her better than she does herself.

Bill F Protagoras

"Then she was gone for Hemi's field of view." Strictly speaking... gone 'from' Hemi's field of view.

JamesIsAsleep

Shout out to pushy masseuses! Neither Hemi nor Ellie want to make the other uncomfortable, which I love by way, but of course no one can avoid the narrative chokehold of the employee on a tight schedule. Get in that shower now, Ellie.


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