ibenz009
patreon
Miko spider corruption p3-4
🕑 Added 2022-09-28 22:14:15 +0000 UTCOk another draft done.
As always if you have any suggestion or found any grammar mistake feel free to tell me in the comment.
Comments
ibenz009
Thanks and thank you for grammar edited.
ElSalsaRey
But fantastic as usual
ElSalsaRey
Page 1 Panel 1: "Taint of mortality" Panel 2: "Taint" Panel 3: "Embarrass" Panel 4: "I'll teach you how a proper priestess should behave" Panel 5: "...screamed...a cockroach (not the)..."she must really BE out of her mind..." Page 2 Panel 3: "I am no longer THE Mikoto you know." Panel 4: "I am Yame-Hime, Avatar of THE Goddess who rule this mountain. Hmmm...where are your manners, mortal? Kneel, as a goddess stands before you." (eliminate "A" in front of "Avatar" or replace it with "An" or "The") Those are my grammatical thoughts.
Arbiter
Oh awesome stuff! Now to deal with her companion ^^
Dealer
Pure *from*, but otherwise yep
Wayne Chen
love you ibenz!
Violet Wilk (BlueCherryWolf)
Oh some very lovely work. Did find some grammar problems with the last sentence. You wrote "Kneel, as goddess stand before you." A better way to write that would be "Kneel, as a goddess stands before you."
Stephen Bordley
Not 100% but think the top middle panel should go like this. A divine vessel 'needs' to be pure form any mortal 'taint'
Arthur Yeung
@ibenz009 Will the bodyguard be corrupted too?
StarGazer
Wow she looks amazing already!
