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Writing No No Content As A Demisexual [Writer's Blog #11]
🕑 Added 2022-11-21 00:23:29 +0000 UTCHello everyone, hope you're doing well.
Forewarning: this post is meant to be read with a very snarky tone of voice.
Not that anyone asked any questions about my sexuality or sexual orientation, but just because this is an interesting topic of conversation to me, I thought I would share my thoughts on what, to me, is moronically ironic.
I'm demisexual. If you don't know what that means, it basically means that I am not romantically or sexuality attracted to people, unless I have a strong bond with them. Now, you might be thinking: But Lune! That sounds completely normal! Well, my fellow human questioning their sexuality, it is, but it's the standard in our heteronormative world. You see, people who are allosexual (people who are sexually attracted to people), are sexuality attracted to people they don't even know (generally speaking). Whether they act on those impulses is a different story, but the attraction is there. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have asexual people, who are not sexually attracted to anyone at all (but they sometimes still have sex due to extraneous circumstances, but every case is different).
I, as a demisexual, fall in the middle of that spectrum. For the longest time, I believed I was bisexual as I didn't have a preference when it came to men and women (and nb people ofc). In fact, I had fallen victim to the trap of "Oh, you think that girl/guy is pretty? You must like them!" dozens, upon dozens of times. Due to me recognizing and understanding aesthetic beauty, I had believed that I was attracted to both men and women (romantically and sexually)
NO! That's not the case! Sure, when it comes down to it, I don't actually have a gender preference objectively speaking, but the pre-requisite of me becoming attracted to someone is that I become very close to them, and even then, it's not guaranteed that I will actually like them "like that." In all my years of being alive, I've only ever had 2 romantic partners, both of whom, I was not sexually attracted to.
Now you might be wondering: Hey Lune, if you've never/rarely felt sexual attraction, how is it that you write and make no no content?
Well, dear reader, I'm glad you asked, because I don't fucking know!
In all seriousness, I enjoy writing and making no no content as I feel safe to do so in this space. I like to think that the stuff I've written recently (not when I started, don't scroll back that far, that shit sucked) has been relatively tasteful. Writing incredibly raunchy, explicit content that has no substance behind it is not my cup of tea, but throw in some emotional damage with some moaning, hell fucking yeah I'll write that shit!
It's just really funny to me that my experiences when it comes to sexual attraction has been solely through pop culture osmosis. If we want to get into it, we can talk about how the heteronormative and allosexual society we live in can cause people to have a really poor perception of themselves as they inherently don't subscribe to those labels, which is the whole reason why conversations about sexuality should be had, rather than shied away from, but that's not a conversation I want to have, nor do I feel qualify to moderate a socratic seminar about it.
Please don't take this post as a sign that I'm going to stop writing no no content, that's not the case at all. As I said, I do think that the no no content I write is tasteful, which is why it's enjoyable for me to write it. Sex in most cases, makes things more complicated and 3 dimensional. I include sexy/sensual scenes in my stories because to me, it makes it more interesting and it adds another level of depth to the story. It can also serve as a major plot point later on in the series. As a demisexual, I see sex as a plot device.
Whilst most other people who make similar content to me enjoy themselves or feel empowered when embracing their sensuality on their terms, I enjoy writing about it as a way to drive a plot forward. I enjoy voicing it because I don't take myself too seriously and I laugh throughout the entire process. I also enjoy the various reactions you all have towards the end product, which is why I will continue to write it.
Hopefully one day, I'll see exactly what all the fuss is about, but until then, I shall continue to torture my characters with depravity.
Thank you so much for reading, take care.
PS: To all my asexuals and demisexuals in the chat, this one is for you <3
Comments
Shirayuki
I'm more confused as to why people think that you'd need to be sexually interested or attracted to another being to be able to write that kind of content. There's many many ways to bypass this, namely the most obvious being watching and reading such content for knowledge purposes. Now you may be thinking: Is that your excuse for watching explicit content? Yes. Yes it is. I'm asexual and possibly aromantic, but that doesn't mean I can't understand the context of explicit content. I understand what goes on based on what I've been able to see and read, and as such, it gives me insight on what action will result in what reaction. It's also possible to imagine further possibilities in one's mind to extrapolate one situation to more others. Long story short, you don't need the experience to be able to write. It's like saying that people who write about death need to be on the verge before, or people who write about suffering must have suffered at one point. Or that you'd need to have certain thoughts to be able to write about those things. It's a matter of knowing and understanding which, though sometimes pales in comparison to experience, is well sufficient to write and create stories if so desired. And if you still don't believe me, tell me this: what is empathy then?
NeoMercy
This was wholesome and yet chaotic XD thank you for sharing this side of you.
