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Cheaper by the Half-Dozen - Little Sh*t #11 [Part 5]
🕑 Added 2025-09-23 09:00:06 +0000 UTC[Part 4]
When Midoriya trudged down the stairs, he was surprised to find the building... quiet. Honestly, it was a little concerning. The tents were still up in the living room, though they all appeared to be vacant, most of the flaps hanging open limply from where someone had crawled out earlier in the morning. The ceiling was still riddled with balloons, most of their ribbons a little frayed from the kids dragging them around, and Midoriya couldn’t help but notice that all the orange ones seemed to have ended up gathered above Shouto’s tent. Pillows and blankets were strewn across the room, the remnants of what was probably a hastily shut down pillow fight, abandoned in a hurry for something more enticing. But the kids? Gone. Silent. It was all just... empty.
“Oh,” Bakugou said, when they passed a window. “Hey.”
Midoriya turned, eyes widening when they fell on a new... construction; that was the only term he could think of for it. In the little area of greenery behind the dorms, a structure had sprung up overnight, with a three-storey – though, admittedly, short storeys – wooden castle, two different slides, a bank of swings, multiple tunnels, a miniature rock wall, a see-saw, even a ball pit. Midoriya could only stare at it in silence, watching as a tiny Shouto slid slowly down a slide, little Ochako squealed and giggled as she swung on a swing, and mini Mina and dinky Denki shoved at each other, trying to be the first to the top of the rock wall.
It wasn’t until he spotted a green cargo net that he began to understand. The ladders, the swings, a set of ropes Denki had just reached and begun to swing across to escape Mina’s wrath – all thick and green, and not quite straight. The joints of the castle – all layered together, with no obvious cuts or nails to keep them together, just fused in place. The metal poles and slides – all just a little bit wonky and lumpy, not quite smooth in their construction. Everything was just a little bit imperfect, a little bit homemade, and in Midoriya’s mind, he was pretty sure that made it extra perfect.
“I guess they felt really guilty.”
Midoriya’s face fell. He hadn’t even considered that side of it. Were they really still beating themselves up over the villain? It wasn’t like their class had done any better at capturing him.
“Or they just wanted to contribute,” Bakugou offered, when he saw Midoriya’s dismay. “They’re probably over it but thought it would be nice to help, like weirdos.”
“I really hope so.”
It was still early, the sun barely up, and Midoriya had no clue what was happening with their school classes for the day, with so many of their classmates indisposed. He debated if he should start getting ready for school, should gather his things and throw on his uniform like it was just any other day, but it just seemed kind of silly.
“I’ll do it,” Bakugou offered, when Midoriya looked over at him again.
“Do what?”
“Make breakfast,” he said, sighing despite being the one to offer. “Any eggs left?”
“Uh... Not really?”
“Toast it is.”
Midoriya laughed, but nodded all the same, following Bakugou through to the kitchen, to start digging through fridges and cupboards. They hunted down multiple loaves of bread belonging to various classmates, and Midoriya whispered another apology as he stole each one. While Bakugou got to work cooking them, Midoriya started hauling out toppings, loading up a tray with them. When he turned around, Bakugou had grabbed a bunch of fruit and milk, too, to add to the mix. Soon they had two huge trays piled high with food, and Mina actually cheered when they carried them outside.
“Come get breakfast if you’re hungry!” Midoriya called out, watching tiny limbs scramble down ladders and jump off platforms. “Where’s Eiji?”
“Hey, Midoriya.”
Midoriya yelped, spinning around with his heart racing, finding bright red spikes and an amused little smile leaning against the wall.
“Overnight,” he clarified, when Midoriya just stuttered awkwardly, unable to form proper words. “I woke up in the middle of the night, naked in a tent. It was... confusing, to say the least.”
“Welcome back,” Midoriya finally choked out. “Um, sorry.”
“For what?”
Midoriya blushed, and thankfully, Kirishima seemed to catch on, laughing brightly.
“For the nickname?” he asked. “It’s chill, bro, I don’t mind!”
“Eiji got big,” Shouto said solemnly, his fingers twisting into Bakugou’s pant leg.
“Yeah, he did,” Bakugou confirmed. “You hungry?”
Shouto nodded.
“Alright, me too; let’s grab some food.”
They walked away together to choose their breakfasts, and Midoriya couldn’t help but smile at their backs. Bakugou was so damn cute when he was being nice to kids, he couldn’t get enough of it.
“Thanks for taking care of me again.”
“I didn’t really,” Midoriya said sheepishly. “Aizawa and All Might and Endeavour have kind of taken the reins, it’s been a nice break.”
“I heard you’ve been keeping us entertained and giving us snacks.”
“That’s the least I could do.”
“Still, thanks.”
“You’re welcome, then.”
The kids scurried away with their breakfasts in hand, crawling into tunnels or climbing up to platforms to eat on, and Midoriya just watched from a distance, feeling oddly content. Despite all the stress the situation came with, for that moment, with an adult on hand along with the little group of teenagers, and all the kids just happily munching on their breakfasts, life felt pretty good. Not the least of which because he could still see his handsome boyfriend, crouched down to talk quietly with a cute little Shouto, who hung on his every word like he was the most amazing person in the world. Which, well, he was, but Midoriya was a little biased in that department.
“He seems to be going for more people every time,” Kirishima mused, taking a seat in the grass with his own plate of toast. “Gone are the days of just one screaming little toddler to worry about.”
Midoriya cringed, and Kirishima chuckled at him for it.
“You were fine,” Kirishima assured him. “It’s just hard to resist teasing.”
“I know,” Midoriya said, sighing as he sat down at Kirishima’s side. “It just seems like everything happens to us, you know? Why are we the ones always being targetted by villains?”
“Because we’re awesome?” Kirishima suggested, his smile a little forced. “At least this guy is just a jerk, he’s not trying to murder us like some of the others.”
“Yeah, I just wish it was over.”
“I get that.”
With the kids sorted, All Might carried the trays over to the pair of them pointedly, and Kirishima laughed as he accepted, grabbing a couple of pieces of toast to munch on. Midoriya just took an apple, leaning his head on his hand as he took a bite, and Kirishima gave him a knowing look when All Might left again, heading over to see if the kids were ready for seconds.
“What were you doing?” Midoriya asked finally. “Were you spying on us?”
“No, I promise.”
Midoriya raised an eyebrow, and Kirishima looked oddly sheepish, refusing to quite meet his eyes.
“You guys keep getting interrupted,” he explained – as if Midoriya had needed anyone to remind him of that fact. “We were hoping to... you know, not let that happen.”
“What, you were bodyguarding our date?” Midoriya chuckled.
“Kind of?”
“Wait, really?”
Kirishima chuckled, and Midoriya pretended not to notice that it was a little strained.
“We didn’t want to get too close and make it weird, so we just kind of hung out around the area, tried to keep an eye out for anything that might disturb you, so we could try to stop it. Sorry, it sounds really weird, in hindsight.”
“A little,” Midoriya acknowledged. “But you meant well, and it was sweet of you to care so much about us. And it did go well, for the record. We had an amazing time, it wasn’t until we got home that things went weird, when none of you were here.”
“I’m glad you got through it unscathed.”
Something hit Midoriya’s shoe, and he looked up, half-expecting to see something leaking above him, or more likely, Bakugou throwing things at him to get his attention. Instead he turned his head to the sky just in time to watch the heavens open up, starting with a drizzle for just long enough to let him climb to his feet, quickly erupting into a heavy, loud, downpour.
“Everyone inside!” All Might announced, hurrying over to the doors to hold them open. “Let’s go!”
Midoriya watched, but not a single kid headed their way, and he sighed when he saw them laughing and dancing in the rain, already drenched right down to the skin. Bakugou was trying to round them up, but with a whining Shouto clinging to his leg, and the other kids apparently determined to stay outside, he was clearly not having much success.
“C’mere, you!” Kirishima said, trying to snatch Denki up as he ran by, and just barely missing the slippery little escape artist. “Time to go get dry!”
“Nuh-uh!” Denki objected, running away from Kirishima and Bakugou alike. “You can’t catch me!”
“I’m on it,” Kirishima told Midoriya, hurrying after Denki in the rain. “You grab the others!”
Unfortunately, Mina and Ochako had apparently decided they were on Denki’s side, running away with gleeful giggles when Bakugou tried to shove them toward the door.
“Shouto, go inside and get dry,” Bakugou was insisting, trying to gently remove the clingy toddler from his leg and not having much luck. “I need to get the others, we’ll all get sick.”
Shouto just shook his head, holding tight, and Bakugou groaned. When had the kid gotten so stubborn?
“Woo! Mud!”
Midoriya turned around just in time to watch Denki dive into a mud puddle, splashing it all over Kirishima behind him, as well as Ochako and Mina who had joined his rather unsubtle escape attempt. Mina just laughed, plopping down into the mud with him, but Ochako burst into tears, wailing as the rain continued to soak her through.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, come here,” Midoriya tried to reassure her, picking her up carefully and hurrying toward the door. “Here, All Might!”
Despite All Might’s reluctant look, he accepted the soggy, wailing child, clearly relieved when Yaoyorozu and Asui showed up to investigate and he was able to pass her on.
“I’ve got her,” Yaoyorozu assured him, holding her at arm’s length as she headed for the bathrooms. “It’s okay, Ochako, it’ll wash off, I promise.”
Asui, meanwhile, headed out to join the others, making quick work of scooping up a wiggling Mina despite her protests, letting Kirishima handle Denki, who flailed his fists and tried valiantly to get free.
“They’re already a mess,” Midoriya whispered, when Bakugou stomped by, he and Shouto looking equally gross from splashing through muddy puddles on the way. “You guys go inside.”
“Huh?” Kirishima asked, dangling Denki by one arm as he turned to look. “What did you say?”
“You guys go inside,” he repeated, sighing. “I’ll play in the mud with them, for a bit.”
“Muuuuud!” Denki and Mina cheered, gleefully wriggling free and plopping back into the deepest puddle, throwing handfuls of mud into the air and lying down to make mud angels. “Mud! Mud! Mud!”
“It’s my turn,” Asui said, when Kirishima gave them a sheepish smile and headed for the door. “You go get dry, Midoriya.”
“No, it’s okay! I’m the one who suggested it!”
“I like the rain,” Asui reminded him. “Really, it’s okay.”
He dithered a moment longer, but when Asui hopped into the mud right alongside the kids, to more cheers from the pair, he finally caved.
“I’ll go help get Shouto cleaned up, then,” he conceded. “Thank you.”
“No problem! I’ll bring you Denki when he’s done.”
“Just be careful, he likes to disappear a lot.”
“I’ve got it,” she chuckled, her long tongue darting out for a second and making Midoriya laugh along with her – he supposed she was one of the best equipped to grab a child in a hurry.
“Have fun?” he offered weakly, backing toward the building. “Thank you. Again.”
He had to admit, it was a huge relief to get back indoors where it was dry, even with the muddy trails that marred their floors. All Might was still waiting near the door, and Midoriya did his best to slip past without brushing against him, without sharing his own mess.
“The children have been taken to the baths,” All Might informed him, making him crack a smile. “Well, Young Iida is still asleep.”
“I’d better go get some clean clothes,” he said, sighing when he looked down at himself in his sodden shirt and mud-covered pants. “Tsuyu is going to play in the mud with the kids for a bit.”
“I’ll keep an eye on them and make sure she doesn’t need assistance,” All Might assured him. “Aizawa is due to come over soon, I’ll make sure he knows what’s been going on.”
“Thank you. This has been a much easier time, with adults to help.”
“I’m sorry we couldn’t always be here for you.”
“No, it’s okay, we get it, I didn’t mean it like that!” Midoriya assured him, waving his hands nervously. “Just that, you know, more hands and everything!”
“I understand,” All Might nodded. “But I’m still sorry.”
Midoriya fell still, a soft smile on his face this time when he finally met All Might’s eyes.
“Okay,” he said. “I accept your apology, and I know the others do too. Thank you for being here this time, we appreciate it.”
He hurried off before All Might could come up with a response, hitching his pants up to make sure he didn’t get mud all over the carpet, though it honestly looked too late. They still had a bunch of clean kids’ clothes downstairs, from the collection they’d slowly built up, but he picked out clean stuff for himself and Bakugou from his closet, along with a stack of his nicest towels; if he’d brought his usual ones, Bakugou would have complained about it forever, so he always made sure to hide the threadbare ones from him.
When he got back down to the bathrooms, though, he just had to stand there silently and watch for a minute. The pair sat side by side on their little stools, Bakugou washing himself surprisingly slowly, while Shouto mimicked his every move. Bakugou usually tried to rush through, get himself clean in record time so he could either disappear to his room, or slip into the hot bath, with his pink skin from rubbing himself raw with a washcloth. That day, though, he was taking his time, eyes occasionally darting over to check in on Shouto, before he moved to the next limb. It was one of the sweetest things Midoriya had ever seen, he just seemed to keep finding new things about Bakugou to love.
“Hi Izuku,” Shouto said when he spotted him, making Bakugou whirl around in a hurry. “Bath time?”
“Yeah,” Midoriya agreed, smiling softly. “I brought towels and clothes for you guys, too.”
“Thanks,” Bakugou grunted. “You manage to round up the others?”
“Ochako is having a bath with Yaoyorozu,” Midoriya informed them, stripping off his sodden clothes to join them. “Denki and Mina are playing with Tsuyu in the mud.”
Bakugou snorted, and Shouto looked up at them both with wide eyes.
“On pawpose?”
“On- Oh, yeah, on purpose,” Midoriya agreed. “Some people like getting messy.”
Shouto shuddered a little, scrubbing at his arm extra hard, and Midoriya had to hold back a laugh.
“Alright, still wanna swim?” Bakugou asked. “Izuku can catch up.”
Shouto nodded firmly, rinsing off the last of his soap and heading toward the big bath. Bakugou paused to pinch Midoriya’s cheek on his way through, giving him a cute little smile that Midoriya couldn’t get enough of.
“It’s even in your hair,” Bakugou informed him, chuckling. “Hurry up and get clean, nerd.”
“Coming, Kacchan!” Midoriya assured him, grinning. “See you soon!”
“Yeah,” Bakugou said softly, giving his cheek one last pinch and a little shake, before he followed Shouto toward the bath. “Good waiting, you can hop in now.”
With a last little smile at their backs, Midoriya sat down on a stool still warm from Bakugou’s body heat, and reached for a washcloth.
—————
“It’s okay, the school paid,” Sato said immediately, when Midoriya’s eyes landed on his and Shouji’s grocery-laden arms. “I’ve replaced the stuff we used from other people, and gotten ingredients for lunch and dinner today.”
“You’re amazing,” Midoriya answered, smiling softly. “Thank you.”
“I’m just glad I can help.”
He headed for the kitchen, and Bakugou groaned as he clambered to his feet, taking a moment to stretch lightly. He’d been lying on the floor for hours, colouring quietly with Shouto, and Midoriya knew if he’d been the one in that position, all his joints would have been aching. Then again, Bakugou hadn’t gone through quite as many injuries as he had, so hopefully his joints were in much better condition.
“I’ll come help,” Bakugou said, one hand patting Shouto’s head lightly in a gesture that almost looked unconscious, like he’d just gotten used to doing it, and that thought made Midoriya’s heart beat a little quicker. “Eri, take care of Deku for me.”
“I will!” she promised, giggling as she shuffled a little closer to him, bouncing little Iida in her lap.
Shouto quickly set his crayons aside, stumbling as he tried to hurry to his feet, and Bakugou paused knowingly, giving him a moment to catch up.
“You want to give us a hand?” he asked.
Shouto stared at him for a moment, then slowly lifted his arm, solemnly offering Bakugou his hand. Midoriya barely managed to stifle the snort that came out of him, but Bakugou just stared back. It seemed to take a moment for him to understand, to piece it all together in his head, but slowly it began to dawn on him, and after a tense minute of silent staring, Bakugou awkwardly took Shouto’s hand.
“Thanks,” he said. “Come help us cook.”
Shouto nodded, following along happily, and when Midoriya looked down again, even Eri was giggling at the pair of them.
“Mister Kacchan is getting better,” she said fondly. “He doesn’t yell so much.”
“Yeah, he’s getting used to being around kids,” Midoriya agreed, chuckling. “It’s super cute, right?”
She nodded firmly, then looked down at baby Iida again, wiggling his favourite toy for him to wave his hands at.
“Is it true that you don’t remember?”
“The things that happen when we’re small?” Midoriya clarified, getting a nod in return. “Yeah, unfortunately. It’s kind of hard, sometimes. Like, in my head, those days didn’t happen, those days just got skipped. Then my friends will say something about a thing that happened in that time, but it means nothing to me. We always tell each other the stories, try to update each other on what happened and everything, but it definitely feels weird.”
“You were a very round baby.”
“Yeah,” Midoriya laughed, cringing a little all the same. “I’ve seen my baby photos, it’s embarrassing. At least I was kinda cute though, right? You should see Kacchan’s baby photos, he was the ugliest baby.”
“You were cute,” Eri agreed. “Little Kacchan was cute too, but he wasn’t a baby.”
“Yeah, he got cute super quick, but when he was a little baby he was super ugly. He gets mad every time I remind him.”
Eri giggled, and Midoriya smiled softly, reaching out to touch her arm lightly.
“Thanks for helping us.”
“I like babies,” she assured him, grinning at little Iida’s cooing. “Do you think I can have babies one day?”
“Absolutely, if you want them. But you’ll have to find a nice partner first, to have them with. And you’ll have to introduce them to me and Kacchan, so we can make sure they’re good enough for you.”
“You’ll never think so!” Eri laughed. “Especially Mister Kacchan! He’ll say everyone sucks!”
“Damn right,” Midoriya agreed. “You’ll have to find someone super amazing, to be worthy of you.”
“I want to find someone nice and funny.”
“That’s a good start, but they have to be better than just that.”
“Someone like Mister Kacchan?” she asked knowingly.
“Even better,” Midoriya said with a grin. “You’re better than me, so you need someone perfect.”
“Isn’t he perfect?”
“He’s close.”
“Okay,” she caved. “Someone perfect.”
“Good girl.”
He stroked her hair fondly, and she leaned into his side, looking oddly content for someone just hanging out in a dorm living room. When Bakugou glanced out to check on them, he smiled to himself, and Shouto tugged pointedly at his hand.
“Everything’s fine,” he said quietly. “Just making sure they were all happy.”
“They look happy.”
“Yeah, they do.”
With lunch almost ready to go, he handed Shouto a stack of plates to carry, watching his little face fill with pride and self-importance as he carried them out to a table. Their dining area was still taken up by the sprawling blanket fort, but no one seemed to mind getting set up in the living area instead, to keep from disturbing the fun.
“Oi, little schemers,” Bakugou said, knocking on one of the tables. “You hungry?”
He peeked in through a blanket door, freezing when he saw a much larger figure inside, wrapped in a blanket for decency as he giggled with Mina like nothing had even changed. It took a moment for them to look up, and while Mina puffed out her cheeks indignantly about the interruption, Kaminari just grinned, raising one hand in a wave.
“Welcome back,” Bakugou said awkwardly. “You hungry?”
“Starving.”
“Fort Food!” Mina demanded. “We’re in a meeting!”
“Ask nicely.”
Mina pouted, but Kaminari clasped his hands together, still grinning as he looked up at Bakugou.
“Pretty please, almighty Lord Explosion Murder.”
“It’s Dynamight and you know it.”
“Not according to your baby wife!” Kaminari teased. “Oh divine Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, please bless us with your wonderful sustenance in the confines of our cozy fort where we may reflect upon thy greatness in peace.”
“I wasn’t aware you knew half of those words,” Bakugou answered, though he knew there was no bite in the words. “Whatever, fine. You want some pants too?”
“That would be nice!”
“I’ve got them!” Kirishima called, apparently catching on. “Back in a minute!”
He hurried toward the stairs to make a visit to Kaminari’s room, and Bakugou stood back up, letting the blanket door fall back into place. Shouto was staring at him again, but Bakugou just jerked his head toward the kitchen, watching him hurry to follow.
“Big Denki,” Shouto said quietly, even though he hadn’t seen inside the little fort.
“Yep,” Bakugou confirmed, offering Shouto a tray of cutlery next. “Careful, it’s big.”
“Strong Shouto,” Shouto assured him, wrapping his arms around the tray carefully. “Hero Shouto.”
“Great hero,” Bakugou agreed, grateful for once that the kid wouldn’t remember the words later. “You’re gonna be way better than your dad.”
Shouto grinned at him, and it was the brightest thing Bakugou had seen – even bigger and more excited than when he’d been so delighted by the bubbles the day prior. It went right to his eyes, lighting them up in a way Bakugou had never seen them before, and, weirdly, he wished Midoriya had been in the room to see it. All of Shouto’s friends, in fact, would have been so grateful to share in that little moment of happiness with him, but instead it was apparently reserved for Bakugou, the one person who didn’t give a shit.
At least, that’s what he told himself, as Shouto walked away with his head held high.
When Kirishima returned, he crawled into the blanket fort to deliver Kaminari his clothes, and soon Sato was bending down to hand them plates of hot food he’d dished up on their behalf, letting the trio remain sitting squished together inside, where Mina seemed so content. Bakugou returned to the living room, to where he could sit with his boyfriend on one side and Shouto on the other, each of them leaning into his side and making him weirdly conscious of his elbows, lest he smack one of them in the face.
“So good,” Midoriya praised, when Sato and Shouji returned. “Thank you, guys.”
“Our pleasure,” Sato assured him, sitting down to lean against a wall, not far from where Aizawa hovered over them all. “Aizawa-sensei, you should eat too. We made plenty.”
“Thank you, that’s kind of you.”
He finished typing out something on his phone, then headed for the table, exchanging little smiles with Eri as he served himself some lunch. Something in Aizawa’s face had Bakugou concerned, though, and he made a mental note to ask about it as soon as the kids weren’t around. Considering Endeavour had disappeared before sunrise and hadn’t come back since, he suspected there was something going on that they’d needed the big guns for, but neither All Might nor Aizawa had given any details away.
“Will I get big soon?” Shouto asked quietly.
“Probably,” Bakugou said, shrugging. “Dunno when, but we’ll be here with you until you do.”
Shouto just nodded, shoving his spoon into his mouth again, but Midoriya reached over, grabbing Bakugou’s hand and squeezing it tightly, just for a second.
That second made dealing with children more than worth it.
