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EXILE OF THE CROWN PT.01 (ILLUSTRATED)

🕑 Added 2024-08-15 16:00:13 +0000 UTC

Comments

Devraj

Adelaide must now understand that the only man i her life is her son and she should guide him to greatness Slow sexual buildup is the most interesting one to read Anyways now they should concentrate on surviving

AFS

Thank you, Bobo, for the great feedback. The thing with Caylan is that he doesn't understand his attraction to Adelaide or his desire to have her attention all the time. He likes the idea of seeing her nude, but doesn't understand why. He doesn't realize it might be sexual until the scene in the dinghy. He's deeply disgusted with himself.

Bobo Zett

Great start! Already love the world building and setting. The conflict regarding consanguinity (and the lore behind it) is quite original. Knowing where the relationship between Caylan and his mother is headed, I'm interested to see how this will play out given his uncle lost the throne for less. My slight nitpick/criticism is that I feel that Caylan is a bit too comfortable in desiring his mother at this current moment in time. I wish to see more of a slow burn build up which shows his internal conflict (his sense of mortality and duty Vs his desires/lust). Lastly, and this is purely my personal preference, I'm hoping that Alistair surprises us all and is in fact a sympathetic father who is just worried about his son. This would be a nice break from the long list of bad fathers we've seen so far.