lily_lxndr
patreon
January update: so! many! things!
🕑 Added 2022-01-01 20:04:35 +0000 UTCHey, all :) Happy new year! I hope this update finds you curled up on the sofa with a hot chocolate in hand. Unless you're in the Southern hemisphere, in which case I guess I hope this message finds you... surfing? Barbecuing? Whatever.
I've got a lot to update you on this month, including some very exciting news, so I'll split this update into two parts. The whole thing is worth reading, I swear!
Part 1: things are bad,
I want to level with you: morale is pretty low at Lily Alexandre Headquarters (aka my house). I'm struggling to find the energy and focus to sit down and write the next video. That's for a few reasons:
1. ...I mean, there's a plague. Things are worse than ever in Montreal. You get it.
2. Lindsay Ellis announcing her departure has sent ripples through the YouTube world. A lot of creators are worried for the future of this medium, this platform, this scene. Lindsay is someone I've admired for years - as nearly every essayist has - and the fact that even she couldn't manage a healthy life on YouTube is discouraging. I'm trying not to let it get me down.
3. Most significantly, since the day after Christmas, I've been the subject of a targeted anti-trans harassment campaign. TERFs caught wind of my last video, and have been hitting me with a barrage of harassment since. As of January 1st, there have been nearly 3000 transphobic comments directed at me - insulting my appearance, describing how strongly they hate me, calling me every name in the book and then some.
I don't have anything new to say about this. I'm okay - but it sucks - but I'm okay! I knew it would happen eventually (because trans woman) but nothing can really prepare you for when it comes.
With all this in mind, I think the best move is to pace myself and not force anything. There won't be a new video in January; the next one is a big topic, and I don't have it in me to crunch for a full month. Hopefully, it will be out in February, and we'll get back on track from there.
Part 2: but maybe it'll be okay!
(This is how I structure like 60% of my videos: "This thing is pretty bad, but maybe it'll be okay". The other 40% are "This thing is pretty good, but sometimes it's bad". If you want to write a Lily Alexandre video, that's the secret - run with it!)
That said, it's not all bad! Here are a couple things in the pipeline:
1. This week, I start work on the most ambitious project of my career so far: a three-part series on trans youth, and the problems they face in the healthcare system. To produce the series, I'll be partnering with Trans PULSE Canada, a research project that conducted a huge survey of trans people in Canada.
They have a staggering amount of data on trans Canadians that just didn't exist before, and they want to use it for good. The videos will be written & produced in close collaboration with the PULSE team - in fact, for the duration of the project, I'll actually be a staff member there!
This is my first ever run-in with academia, so I'm a little intimidated. But it's important work, the production value will be great, and God, I'm excited.
(I actually found out about this opportunity from a Patron. Thanks again, Dan!)
2. Instead of putting out a video while the TERFs have me in their sights, and risking a whole new wave of harassment, I've been trying something new. I'm just starting on this, and I can't promise it'll work, but I'm trying to adapt a fan-favourite video into a zine!
(You'll never guess which one.)
It's been a really fun challenge so far. Constructing a zine is so different from constructing a video essay.
I have no idea if this will pan out, but if it does, all Patrons will get a free digital copy, and Patrons at the $12 tier will get a free physical copy by mail! For everyone else, I'll probably sell it on itch.io.
Whew, that was so many words. If you've got any questions about the PULSE project, the zine, or anything else, ask away in the comments :)
Take care, everyone!
Comments
Lily Alexandre
Thank you! 💜💜💜 You’re right that it’s just part of the ride, but your encouragement means a lot!
Darla Butler
Always so proud of you Lily, and I'm so sorry you've become a target of hate. The mama bear in me instantly went into protect and destroy mode - "Who are these shitty human beings, messing with our Lily!?!" (even though I know you definitely don't need rescuing!!) And then I realized that you've clearly pushed their buttons, and that is a good thing! You go!!! More importantly though, it also became clear to me that you are making a difference for so many others!! Again, you go!! You've got this! All of it! One thing I do know - you are beyond capable and this is all just part of the ride! Enjoy!! <3
RoomRar
Oh yea that was really interesting to see, I was rereading some of the comments and they just almost word for word said things from the video. They really didn't watch it. All those comments might help the all seeing algorithm tho xd
Lily Alexandre
Thank you - I'm psyched too! It's kind of a dream job?
TheRecognitionScene
Lily I’m so psyched for you!! I’m glad you’re finding a way to do academic work where it sounds like you’re going to be properly paid and have your time respected, which isn’t always the case. And your zine sounds like a lot of fun, I’m really really excited for it :)
ardamass
Cool, reach out if ya need help.
Lilian
💜
Lily Alexandre
You’re all already helping by being here & pledging! I don’t think there’s much else to be done, really.
Lily Alexandre
Thank you so much for the kind words!! It’s nice to have you here!
Lily Alexandre
That’s a nice way of looking at it, honestly! Maybe I did hit a nerve. They haven’t come for my previous videos NEARLY as hard.
ardamass
Things are bad, pace yourself take brakes. do what ya gotta do to be safe and to make what happiness you can. That being said how can we help?
Sasha Karbachinskiy
Totally agree with Hannah that we'll be alright without a video this month :) Seriously hope you're able to take care of yourself because online harassment is really no joke. As a dark bright side, I almost see the response to that last video as validating it even more. Obviously they'll take any excuse to target trans women, but I feel like you struck a nerve. I made a comment on that video and it was interesting (to say the least) to see to the transphobes come out of the woodwork. What's kind of funny to me is that it's kind of exactly what you describe in the video in terms of their bad faith arguments. And we know from the video and experience that they're not actually there to listen, but to harass. It's interesting to hear how the Lindsay news has affected you and other content creators and I can't help but feel like it's one of those decade shifting moments like the Beatles breaking up. It's hard not to look at the whole thing and say, "well, something has to change" but it's harder to say what. Lindsay was OG youtube and I wonder if the accumulated weight of that attention and scrutiny on top of the harassment is what ultimately did her in. It sucks though. It almost felt to me, childish as it is, like seeing the bad guys win at the end of the movie. The pulse stuff sounds SUPER fucking cool and I'm excited to see it. As someone who works in Academia I'm sure they're excited to have their work be seen. Also stoked to see the zine! In the wake of your harassment and Lindsay's leaving, I also think it's worth saying thanks for being an awesome content creator and this trans girl at least definitely appreciates the work you're doing!
Lily Alexandre
Thank you! I’m truly psyched
RoomRar
really excited for what's to come. Working with PULSE is a big deal. Take your time and stay safe
Lily Alexandre
Thank you for looking out :)
Lily Alexandre
I should say I really am doing okay! Last week sucked, but I've got a really solid support system. Friends, family, other creators. Whenever this happens again, I'll be ready.
Hannah F.
I'm sure everyone'll agree we can survive a video-less January. Just please, please take care of yourself? I've known people who have been the target of harassment campaigns, and the damage those campaigns do can sneak up on you. The rest sounds awesome, the PULSE stuff I mean. Looking forward to seeing the results.
