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EPISODE 10 PT 2: THE THIRD FUNCTION

🕑 Added 2023-09-01 04:02:44 +0000 UTC

Comments

azur

what i do to get me back in touch with the magic i hold is speak to my Soul while journaling. i write like i am speaking to the love of my life, the beloved, my Soul - this is the 'words' i would associate with the 'being/energy/part' of myself that i write to. and what brings me back in touch with my own magic is the fact that it answers me through dreams or syncronicities. my Soul answers back to me and that reminds me there is nothing out there, everything i search for is inside already, searching for me - in those moments (that sometimes stretch to days) i feel complete and there's nothing the exterior world could ever offer me more important then that. it sounds like you are neglecting yourself and projecting anything good outside. try searching for it inwards, with curiosity, honesty and patience. eventually something will answer :) not sure if this helps since it doens't have much to do with functions and i haven't even listened to the episode yet, but felt like sharing it, good luck ben ☀

Amaryllis Tremblay

Hello Sarah, French-speaking Canadian listener of your podcast here. Since English is not my first language, I sometimes have to listen to your episodes 2 or 3 times to get all the meaning. I’ve been spending 1 month listening to this one and trying to really get everything because I feel there is an important understanding for me in this « 3rd function », but before moving on to the next episode, I was wondering if you had a pdf of the transcript or a kind of chart of the dilemmas. That being said, I just want to say thank you for this series. It has already helped me a lot to navigate this confusing moment of my life. As an young woman working in the film/theatre industry that I feel becoming increasingly materialistic-oriented, this podcast feels like an oasis for reflection.

ben

ok, i relate to sooo much in this series, and i’m so confused, and have a million questions, lol. i’ve always been given INFP by the online tests, and i know the biggest Lost Object of my depression is my ex (a very dreamy, seductive, always playing-by-her-own-rules INFJ, i think, who was always in a rich fantasy world i wished i had access to): someone i nearly married but who ultimately kind of betrayed and immediately replaced me. i lost my mind and then definitely became extroverted-thinking neurotic, like obsessed with her, with everything that happened, with the idea that i will never find in anyone else what i had with her (and taking every demoralizing event of my dating life for over two years as proof of this). i 100% am lost in the authority conflict. what always bugged me most was how the breakup, and she, during it, seemed to make meaning out of me (and a bleak, cruel, horrible meaning) yet i could make no meaning of it, let alone any truly redeeming meaning—and i still can’t. i think constantly of her evaluation of me; every new idea or thing i encounter i wonder what she would have thought of it, etc. etc., and it is hell. e.g. i just spent an equal amount of time on poring over your chart figuring out my type as i spent on figuring out hers, even though it’s 2+ years since we broke up, and i know i most likely will never get another chance with her. —sorry. my question is mainly: which third function i should seek to develop, based on your theory. would it be introverted sensing? i do have a strong urge, much of the time, towards “familiar movies,” books, things that used to inspire me and offer meaning—up until now i’ve viewed it as simply trying to return to the interests and sense of self i had before she (and the pursuit of love more broadly) became my god. what i generally do instead is try to party and frantically try to meet new people, plus play an insane amount of tennis (i can’t tell if these default modes fit into my type, or its shadow, or what). i think that, if i’m honest, what keeps me from this kind of retreat into my inner world, which i know i need, is this fear that i will always be alone there, that it will not lead me to anything new (but that’s probably just a harmful fantasy object/person i want to appear to save me from my horribly empty self). like you do not meet your partner by staying home and watching familiar movies, lol. i have “hobbies,” and what used to feel like passions, too (i’m a published novelist, trying to hype myself up to submit my next novel to publishers but afraid of their authority and of failing); i’m an artist/painter (who can never figure out what to draw/paint (or write) because i feel i lack anything interesting inside me); etc. etc… i have been in this horrible Suspension for years, seemingly, have frequently contemplated Suicide, and know i have to Surrender my lost INFJ-BPD-dreamgirl-LOML, but also sense i have to surrender something deeper (like the idea that anyone could ever be my “dreamgirl,” or Love Of My Life, i.e. could give my life meaning that i can’t find in it for myself?). i also just wanted to say thank you so much for this series. it has been incredibly helpful to me thus far, and i’ve recommended it to many people, who also love it. if you can find time to respond to any bit of this, my main questions are really: what function(s) do you think i should develop, and any insights into how? and how (like, physically, experientially) do you surrender your hope in finding your soulmate, when it’s clearly a neuroticism taking way more energy than it has ever given? thanks <3


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