schwoo
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Update: January 2023
🕑 Added 2023-01-23 16:22:57 +0000 UTCHey gang. I feel like I need to explain why I have been so quiet for a while.
December was a very rough time for me. The months leading up to that were filled with a lot of family obligations that drained me emotionally and financially. I was able to get through December mostly on the back of that Toriel growth drive that I made. Your very generous contributions got me through a very rough spot, and I cannot thank you enough.
December was a very rough time for me. The months leading up to that were filled with a lot of family obligations that drained me emotionally and financially. I was able to get through December mostly on the back of that Toriel growth drive that I made. Your very generous contributions got me through a very rough spot, and I cannot thank you enough.
Now it’s January, and with it comes a whole host of new problems. My car broke down, meaning I must save up for repairs while relying on delivery and family transport to get food. My rent also went up as well. (Which is a recurring pattern my landlords have been doing for the past three years) so I am trying to adjust accordingly.
I don’t think I ever really recovered from last year’s stress. A week-long family move and my sister’s wedding just sapped me of my soul. The amount of prep and work that went into those things was on a scale I was not prepared for but was expected to follow through with. This also aligns with commissions as well. As I try to accept newer work to pay bills, the same feeling of overwhelming obligation and output is just sapping my will to live. And that doesn’t even cover the backlog that I am also trying to get under control as well. It’s hard to ask for help sometimes because even if I am given directions on what I should do, it feels too much like orders and directions and it can feel sometimes like I don’t have a sense of agency when people give me a laundry list of directions.
I believe the main problem I am facing is that I don’t feel like I have any time for myself. Or rather, I don’t even deserve time for myself with how much there is to do. I live alone. And most of my interactions are with customers and mutuals. Nothing in the realm of going out or going on vacations in the slightest. So, I’d like to get my car fixed whenever possible. So that I can go on my walks again and have a sense of mobility to keep me from going insane. (lol)
I’ll wrap this up because I know I’m not that good at explaining things and I can ramble. I just wanted to let you all know why it’s taking me a bit to get my feet back on the ground. I am working as hard as I can without burning out. And I promise to deliver on the Toriel growth drive and other obligations.
I’ll wrap this up because I know I’m not that good at explaining things and I can ramble. I just wanted to let you all know why it’s taking me a bit to get my feet back on the ground. I am working as hard as I can without burning out. And I promise to deliver on the Toriel growth drive and other obligations.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hope you all are having a decent start to your week.
Hope you all are having a decent start to your week.
