Intata's Tall Tales
patreon
Cobalt in Red - Chapter 3
🕑 Added 2024-11-14 02:21:20 +0000 UTCCobalt absently tossed a berry into Mankey’s mouth. The punch-monkey was nearly too tired to chew, starfished and panting on the ground as he was. His latest opponent, having been knocked clean unconscious, was buried too deep into a tree for the ten year-old to try and fix up. Not that he wanted to, mind. The little bastard was nuts, but he wasn’t trying to leave a trail of knocked out pokemon behind him.
He couldn’t remember if metapods spawned on Route 5 in the games, but he supposed that where there was forest, there were bugs.
This particular metapod was just plain crazy, though. It had said something to Mankey as they passed by the tree it had been hanging from, which immediately had the fluffball coming at it like a tiny, angry gorilla. However the damn thing was the most proficient user of harden in the whole forest - at least that they had come across, anyway.
The whole thing had Cobalt staring blankly for like, ten full minutes. Minutes that were entirely taken up by Mankey punching the metapod like one of those speed-ball punching bags, and the metapod taunting and tanking the hits. He had never heard of a member of that species learning taunt, and was still trying to decide if the brick shit-house of a bug was using that move, or just supremely good at being annoying.
The only reason the fight ended was because Mankey had tapped into the power of unmitigated violence, unlocked the true essence of wrath, and used seismic toss out of nowhere. Hence the green banana’s status of tree-imbeddedness.
“Fuckin’ stellar work, my guy.” Cobalt said blandly. “I loved it when you punched him over and over again with zero effectiveness. That was mind-bendingly amazing. Can I have your autograph?”
“~Key.” Mankey growled from his position on the ground.
”Seriously though,” the boy sat down and stared at the pig-monkey, “when did you learn seismic toss? That wasn’t in the moves you showed me earlier.”
The only real surprises in the little guy’s move pool were two speed-based moves, and an egg move. Agility and quick attack, for speed, and night slash for the other. Cobalt was very excited about that last one. Night slash was easily the most powerful move in the set, even if Mankey was using it entirely wrong.
It was supposed to be a cutting move, but the puffball had just covered his hand in dark type energy, and punched the boulder. The boy had thought his starter had created a new version of the elemental punches, at first. It took them about thirty minutes to break down exactly what was happening.
That boulder had seen better days.
The rest of his moves were pretty standard. Focus energy, fury swipes, and low kick. Cobalt supposed that seismic toss was next on the natural progression, so it kind of made sense? But did pokemon just naturally learn this shit? Life wasn’t a video game. The level system was utter BS, wasn’t it? Just a way to digitize and gamify progression?
He knew that moves could be taught outside of TMs and natural progression, and they weren’t necessarily dictated in the way the games had portrayed. A couple years ago, he had taught his father’s psyduck how to use drain punch, for fuck’s sake. Took a while, but the dumb duck already knew brick break, and Dragonite was willing to help because he was bored. Cobalt wanted to teach him flamethrower instead, but that just didn’t work at all.
Whatever. The point was that there were limits to what each species could learn - which, duh - but it was much more fluid than he had been expecting. And now the level system and game progression seemed like they were real, too.
This world was utterly bonkers. The only question was how to abuse the ever-loving shit out of it.
Cobalt only knew a few pokemon back-to-front - in terms of the games. Specifically ones that had been on his most recent team in Gen 9. It was the reason he was so excited to have a mankey. He knew every move the guy could learn. Every TM, every egg move. Every place the angry puffball could shine.
Don’t judge him. He was having a very weird year when that game came out.
Mankey shrugged at him from his prone position - as if learning a new move out of the blue was nothing special.
Cobalt grunted back and flopped down next to his starter. “You need a name.”
Mankey couldn’t turn his head to glare at him, considering he was a ball with limbs. Instead Cobalt saw one of his eyes pop open and hone in on him from the side. “Man~” he said dismissively.
“Can’t keep calling you ‘Mankey’ in my head. It’s getting confusing.”
The mankey just sighed and closed his eye again.
“What do you think of ‘Punch-Muffin?’”
The pokemon growled.
“Scowlbert?”
“Mankey-man?!” This time he did roll over to look at Cobalt, who just laid his arm across his eyes so that he wasn’t staring directly into the sun.
“Fury McFur?” No response.
“Wrathington?” Nothing.
“Rage Rocket? Thunderbutt? Fuming Fuzzball?” He heard a rustle.
“Come on, man. I need some feedback here-” A foot lodged itself in his side, sending him tumbling.
Cobalt groaned, now face down in the dirt - again. “You piece of shit.” He grumbled, picking himself up and glaring at his teammate. “Do you solve every problem by punching it?!”
Mankey’s body tilted forward in a simulation of a nod. “Mankey.”
Cobalt’s eye twitched. “Alright you spherical, Donkey Kong wanna…be.” He blinked, and felt the anger seep out of him. “Huh.”
Mankey blinked back at him slowly, daring him to say something stupid again.
“How about ‘Kong?’”
The pokemon raised an eyebrow, but didn’t seem overly opposed to it. He was still ready to bum-rush his trainer, though.
“It’s a name shared by two famous apes.” He clarified. “One of which was a massive, terrifying monster that was known for wreaking havoc. The other went on a country-wide rampage, kicking in the teeth of everyone and their mother because they stole his bananas. Both kicked so much ass that their name became legendary. I plan on putting you on that level.”
Mankey crossed his arms and frowned at Cobalt. However, after a couple seconds of deliberation, a sigh, and a nod were his only answer.
The boy grinned. “Well then, I dub thee, ‘Kong’ - rage incarnate, and mightiest of lint balls.”
Cobalt laughed and started running as Kong advanced on him, fists twitching with annoyance. He was only caught thirty seconds later because the little bastard used agility.
It was fun. They were having fun.
__________
The rest of the day was spent beating up the locals, as Cobalt had previously promised. The birthday boy, however, was tackling this endeavor as a training exercise, rather than grinding.
Before they continued after their little naming ceremony, Cobalt had sat Kong down and outlined how he wanted his starter to approach fights. Today’s focus would be on quick attack and agility only. Kong’s goal was to be able to trigger either instantly, hold the effect of each for as long as possible, and not move a muscle unless it was under the influence of them.
Kong would become the world’s fastest rough-and-tumbleweed. If Cobalt had any say in it, nothing would be able to touch him besides the craziest of AOE attacks, or something that was inexplicably faster. Later on, he would focus on attack and defense, but the priority for the moment was speed.
Gotta go fast, after all.
Surprisingly though, the pig-monkey wasn’t all that pig-headed. Cobalt had expected a bit of pushback against what he wanted Kong to do, but all he had done was frown and nod in determination. Why would a young fighting type ever focus on running away? Why would he be willing to focus on what some would call ‘dishonorable’ tactics?
Well, Cobalt thought it might have had something to do with the mankey’s parents. One of which had to have been a dark type, considering his egg move. It was either that, or the newly minted trainer was just that charismatic in his explanations. Though while Cobalt did have a few good points (in his not conceited at all opinion), he was leaning towards the first option.
Cobalt, though, was going to have to rethink his strategy for training. Mainly in how to not have all of Route 5 gang up on them.
He had been giving out a metric shit-load of Oran berries to every defeated ‘mon, and used a bunch on Kong, as well. Frankly, he was running out, and it hadn’t even been a full day. He had gone through seventy-three of them so far, and had only packed a hundred. He would either have to stuff his magical bag with every ripe berry in his family’s orchard, or think up something more economical. To be fair, though, half of those berries were used to heal up Kong, so when he decided to hit up a Pokemon Center regularly, that cost would drop significantly.
Basically, it wasn’t an immediate problem. They could roll like this for a bit before Cobalt had to make a change.
Regardless, by the time mid-afternoon came around, Cobalt decided it was time to head back. He wanted to consult with a certain member of his father’s team, grab a thing that he had forgotten to take with him from his room, and get a good night’s sleep before heading out in the morning.
“Yo!” Cobalt yelled as he and Kong entered his family’s ranch. “Archie! Come’ere, you flaming mutt!”
Two seconds. He had precisely two seconds to brace himself before his father’s arcanine barreled into him at mach-3.
Kong blinked at the space his trainer had previously been in, then at the trail of smoldering grass that led from that point off to a space behind the fake mountain on the property. A poliwrath that had been chilling in the lake had already started spitting an endless stream of water along said trail to prevent a fire. The only reason he knew where to look next was because Cobalt groaned from behind him.
“Oh my god, stop doing that! I thought you were a fire type! You’re soaking my shirt!” The boy tried to push the massive fire-dog off of him with no success.
Both figures were collapsed on the ground with Archie’s comparatively massive form laying on top of Cobalt’s, the dog’s head lolling happily on the boy’s chest, and drooling endlessly.
“Arc!” The pup barked directly in Cobalt’s face, who just glared back in defeat, slumping on the ground.
After a moment, an idea sprung up in Cobalt’s mind, and his head tilted over to Kong with an evil grin. Kong looked back in budding horror as the boy’s hand raised to point at him.
“Hey Archie, I wanna introduce you to my new best friend.” The dog’s head swiveled along the direction of his finger to look at the terrified mankey. “This is Kong, and he’s my first teammate. I wanted to ask if you could give him some pointers on speed?”
The massive arcanine just stared at his starter, unmoving, for too long to be comfortable. Then in the span of 0.02 nanoseconds, the fluffball had blitzed the puffball, and started hopping around him in happy circles. “Arc! Arcanine-nine!”
Kong, dazed on the ground, looked between the fire-dog, and his trainer. One as if it was a hellhound, ready to drag his soul into the underworld, and the other with murderous intent.
Cobalt rolled to his feet. “Archie!” He said, getting the pokemon’s attention. “Think you can do that for me, bud? Kong’s going to be a speed demon one day - to the point that I hope he can give you a run for your money. Give him some tips?” Kong would likely never be able to match the arcanine in all actuality. His father’s teammate was one of six arcanine in all of Indigo. All of which had an in-born ability after evolution, that laced every motion with extremespeed. Bar none, arcanine was the fastest known pokemon, even edging out other species that could use the move.
So no, Cobalt did not expect Kong to ever be Archie’s match. He lied.
For motivational purposes.
The pup’s eyes widened, then turned to Kong in excitement. The subsequent barking, if this were a cartoon, would have gone up in pitch three octaves at the sheer number of questions Archie managed to fit into five seconds.
Kong looked like he had been hit by a confuse ray.
“I’ll leave it to you, then, bud.” Cobalt said, walking toward the house. “I need to change my shirt.”
“Man? Mankey! Key-man mankey!”
Cobalt ignored his starter’s pleas (or more probably vows of vengeance), and made his way further toward his family home. As he walked closer, he noted his father in the doorway with a nail hanging out of his mouth, hammering another into a newly replaced door frame.
“Hey kiddo.” The man said around the nail, turning towards his son. “Back so soon?”
Cobalt blinked. “What do you mean? We were just laying the foundation for training today. Planning on heading out tomorrow morning.”
His father nodded and spat the nail out. “Good. We thought you just up and bolted as soon as you got the chance. Your mother’s been pissy for the past few hours.” He finished with a grin.
“What do you take me for?” Cobalt’s face scrunched. “I’m not leaving without saying goodbye. I’m not some-”
A ghostly tongue materialized directly in front of his face, and swiped him from chin to hairline, covering him in more saliva. The rest of Haunter formed around his tongue a second later, and giggled at him.
“I detest you.” He told the ‘mon.
His father snorted and patted him on the back, sending him stumbling a step. “Come on. I need you to calm your mother down, and you need to take a shower.” He paused. “Where’s the angry munchkin, by the way?”
“Oh, yeah. I asked Archie to teach him a few things. They should be busy for a bit.” He waved in the direction of the ranch.
His father laughed. “You sure that’s a good idea? The poor guy’s going to be useless tomorrow if they stay at it for long.”
Cobalt shrugged, and made his way into the house. “I plan on stopping them in like… an hour? Two? That should be fine. Kong’s too angry to get tired.”
“Oh ho! He’s got a nickname now?” The man grinned. “Warmed up to you quick, huh? Thought that trash fire was gonna take longer to cool off.”
“Meh.” The boy intoned, taking off his shoes. “Tell you at dinner. Where’s mom?”
“Shower first, Cob-meister.” A large hand gently shoved him towards the bathroom. “I'll go weather the storm until it’s your turn to get yelled at.”
Cobalt turned to his father with a serious face and a salute. “I will remember your sacrifice.”
“You better!” The man called out as he walked further into the house.
Cobalt made his way through the house, careful not to track all the dirt and grime through it all, and stopped in the “family hall,” feeling much older than his body’s age suggested. The family hall was just a hallway that connected the living room with the rest of the house, but it was absolutely covered in photographs. Pictures of Victor, Clarisse, both of their teams, and the places they traveled. Cobalt with his parents on a couple vacations, his baby pictures, and one with him riding on Dragonite with a smile that resembled his father.
One picture, of him getting smothered by Archie when he was four, hung at a slight tilt, so he reached over and rightened it.
He fully expected that the reason why his mother was angry was that she didn’t get to take a picture of him and Kong before they left. Granted, he probably should have told them his plans before he started walking around Route 5.
“Don’t you dare track any filth in this house, Cobalt Kent!” His mother’s voice called out from the den.
Cobalt winced. His father must have told her how dirty he was, and at that thought, he realized that he had stopped being careful about it. There was a full handprint of dirt on the wall from fixing the picture frame.
“Shit.”
Comments
intata
There's not really a schedule. I'm trying to get a chapter a week out for Godhood, and fit everything else in around it. Comes down to how much free time I have - which right now, isn't all that much. Holiday season is the busiest time of year at work.
Acrs1
Was there a schedule for chapter release? Or is it released as the muse strikes you?
Apostle_of_Tea
You have no idea how happy that makes me good sir
intata
For sure. I have a plan for two more team members, but for the foreseeable future? Punch-monkey gonna punch
Apostle_of_Tea
No need to rush getting team members, just minmax mankey to godhood and get more pokemon when happened upon on the journey for inner enlightenment in the juiced up fuzzball.
MyAfroAteMyDog
I bet his mom will give him another pokemon. Great chapter
