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Progress Report
🕑 Added 2023-04-19 21:54:32 +0000 UTCFuck me, it's been three weeks since my last progress report. I'm sorry.
To all those artists on twitter and what not complaining of artists block, fuck, I feel that. Writers block has me by the cock and balls and that shit is a fucking nightmare. And it only feels like more of a failure when I consider how quickly I got the feature work done. My brain will play ball so long as it doesn't have to write... and when my job is 75% writing, that fucking sucks.
I still want the next release to further Tai's route, but being so stubborn on that aspect is doing me no favors. Sticking to my guns here will yield results eventually, but who knows when that'll be. Over the next few days, I'm going to shift my focus to just writing... anything, I guess. Anything is far better than nothing. Before this was my job, sometimes I'd do exactly that for shits and giggles. Were it only so easy when there are stakes! Anyway, all going well I'll whip something up in the coming days and hopefully I can turn whatever that ends up being into the next update. I doubt it'll be a continuation to Tai's route at this stage, but who knows? If not, it could be anything... something for Axel's route, the debut of Lukas', Diego's tale, another entirely different tale... I genuinely don't know just yet, but historically some of my best material came from just opening up a new document and going ham on whatever the fuck came to mind. Whatever that might be, I'll make lemonade from those lemons.
And with all that said, I really must apologize again. Coming into this nearly 3 years back (the anniversary of when we started development was a couple of days back!) I wanted nothing more than to be the antithesis to certain unreliable uncommunicative creators who took peoples money and didn't so much as keep those people in the loop. It's easy to have ideals that contradict that sort of behavior, but three years deep (balls deep for sure) in something like this, keeping up that momentum is incredibly difficult and, if I'm totally honest, the infrequency of these updates is somewhat influenced by the shame I feel for having failed myself and all of you for the thousandth time. Rest assured, I'm always searching for a solution, but the optimism I once had where I'd spout nonsense such as '[x] thing will surely be the solution, just you wait!' is long gone with the benefit of experience with a reality all too harsh.
Just know I have no intentions of fading away or leaving this project unfinished. My stupid ass committed to all this, so like hell I'm going to give up half way. And the fact that so many of you are still here means a lot to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued trust in me and in Sileo, and for your incredible patience. That patience will be rewarded, mark my words. As slow as things are moving, I'm really excited about the two remaining routes and what they'll explore and I'm excited to get underway on those properly. We'd be much further along by now if Tai's Route wasn't longer than fucking lord of the rings, but hey, at this point, that's just the xevvy signature, right?
Anyway catch you soon ish with some good shit I promise!
Comments
RandomOtaku
We as a community are invested in your project and are excited for everything you provide. We will always support you and what you to be at your best, because at times you need to take you time and that’s okay we all understand. What you have created is something to be proud of and I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. You’re going to make it through and it’ll be worth it but if that means we have to wait until you can get your mojo back so be it. A story like this with so many feelings and ways it can unfold one can’t help be enthralled by what you do. We wish you the best from the bottom of our hearts.
Xevvy
(spectral hissing) (pleasured hobbit moans)
Charlie The Love Witch
I have no doubts, and their voices would sound like molten chocolate. Then Frodo would scream, "that's more than just the tip! as he's getting stabbed.
Xevvy
If I wrote LOTR, the ringwraiths would have been hung as fuck mark my words.
Charlie The Love Witch
Definitely not a failure, you're keeping at it and not abandoning it! Your work is wonderful, stories are captivating, and to be able to make people feel; that is the mark of a true wordsmith. Take your time, and try and enjoy your work. We've waited with bated breath for your next release, and we will continue to wait, because your work is definitely worth it to us! And thankfully your work isn't like LOTR in the aspects of most of the books are about running and running, and running. You wasted no words!
Jammy Dox
Thanks for updating us on your struggles. From one ADHD stricken writer to another, I can totally understand where you're coming from. I hope switching things up to just working on whatever you feel most able to do works for you! I always recommend people just follow the dopamine when it comes to creative projects. While I'd love to see Tai's route completed, I'm also totally content if you need to jump around to different routes or tales each update. I'd much rather see you work on stuff that doesn't cause burnout or undue stress than force yourself to produce something you aren't proud of 💜
