Shirtaloon
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Chapter 957: When the Screaming Began
🕑 Added 2024-10-21 22:00:04 +0000 UTCIlyin, Gusev and Orlova moved through the dark concrete tunnels of the abandoned bunker complex. Designed to shelter tens of thousands for as much as a week, it was a sprawling warren, crawling under the city. The exposed construction site on the surface had long since been built right over, courtesy of some sketchy government approvals.
There were large chambers earmarked as dormitories or storage areas. Some did have lighting set into the ceilings, but there was no electricity to power them. The trickier sections were power rooms with half-installed generators and access tunnels for plumbing and electrical infrastructure. The tight spaces, filled with debris and protrusions, were tough to simply navigate, let alone fight in when they ran into vampires.
Two of the three mercenaries had lights attached to their tactical helmets and guns. Orlova had a perception power that, like Jason’s, allowed her to see through darkness. Her perception could penetrate any non-magical shadows, along with magical ones created by anything not too much more powerful than her. If any darkness proved impervious to her senses, she knew it was time to run.
Their destination was the entrance hall at the centre of the complex. A large space designed to organise and filter people to other parts of the bunker network, its incomplete form was that of a massive concrete box. The only features were the doors leading out and a freight-sized elevator shaft with no elevator. It was an open space where they could see enemies coming and open up with their powers, if it came to a fight. It was also their way in and out of the complex, via the shaft, so the fourth team had been left to hold it.
As they moved down a clear tunnel, Ilyin took the time to have the others check in.
“Team Four, still holding the access point. Ilyin, you’re starting to spook me here.”
“Team Two, still on route.”
Ilyin stopped, turning to look at Gusev and Orlova. Their worried expression mirrored his own.
“I’m not hearing things, right?” he asked.
“No,” Orlova said. “Lebedev sounds off, and he’s answering the same way each time. The exact same way each time, like a recording.”
Gusev nodded his agreement and switched his radio to the Team Four’s private channel.
“Team Four. Alekseeva.”
“Ilyin, now you’re really starting to spook me.”
“Be aware, Team Two may be compromised. Shape-shifter, voice mimic, I don’t know. No telling what powers these vampires get from their bloodlines.”
“I’d tell you we’ll stay sharp, but we’re on a knife edge already, Ilyin. We’ll be wary if they turn up.”
“Report anything through this channel. I’ll still do periodic check-ins so they don’t realise we’re onto them.”
“Acknowledged.”
Team Three started moving again, guns up as they examined every side tunnel and dark corner. Orlova signalled to stop, snapping her gun at a corner next to an upcoming door.
“Darkness,” she said. “Can’t see through it.”
The others focused their lights on the spot, but the corner remained shrouded in darkness. A pair of disembodied eyes appeared within the shadows, orange and blue, and three guns opened fire. The bullets stopped in the air, as if caught in an invisible gelatine wall. A dark figure stepped out, the strange eyes inside the hood of a cloak darker than the shadows it emerged from. The figure pushed back his hood to reveal a face they all knew from briefing documents.
Jason Asano plucked a frozen bullet out of the air and examined it briefly. He dropped it to the ground and then the others fell as well, clattering on the concrete. The three mercenaries looked at him, their gun magazines empty.
“Do we try our powers?” Gusev asked.
“Do you want to try your powers?” Ilyin asked.
“Against the man who just Matrixed our guns? I don’t even want to reload.”
“What does ‘Matrixed’ mean?” Orlova asked.
“It’s a movie from about forty years ago,” Ilyin said.
“Who is watching forty-year-old movies?” Orlova asked.
Jason could taste the fear in their auras and waited as they whistled in the graveyard. Their wide eyes and frozen bodies reminded him of animals staring at headlights.
“I take it we’re done fighting?” he asked.
The mercenaries had all heard people using translation magic before. This wasn’t that. Jason didn’t talk in Russian; they could hear him not speaking Russian. But while their ears told them he wasn’t speaking their language, their minds told them he was. It was uncanny; an unsettling fear beneath the straightforward terror instilled by his aura.
“You’re Jason Asano,” Ilyin said in English.
“Have been for a while, now. Makes it easy to remember.”
“Why are you here?”
“Because someone sent you here to make a mess, and it needs cleaning up. I was expecting vampires, but there’s something else down here. It could be a vampire lord with some unusual powers, but I don’t think so. It’s good at masking its presence, but I’ve caught some glimpses of an aura, and it isn’t right for a vampire. It does reek of blood, though. Perhaps a vampire-like monster. I once encountered a spider that could turn people and even other monsters into vampires.”
“I don’t want to fight that,” Gusev said.
“Nor should you. One thing I am certain of is that it’s gold rank. We need to collect your people and get them out.”
“That’s an objective I can get behind,” Ilyin said. “We came in with twelve; four teams of three. We think one team is dead and another compromised somehow. Possibly dead and being mimicked.”
“I sense nine,” Jason said. “The group by the entrance, you and a group I found being fed on by vampires. The last group are likely your compromised people. Maybe dead, but whatever has them may be hiding their presence from me.”
As if to make his point, Ilyin’s radio crackled to life.
“Team Three? This is Four. Jason God Damn Asano dropped in on us, carrying Team One like sacks of potatoes. They’re down but alive, covered in punctures. Looks like a whole swarm of blood bags had their way with them. Asano sucked the vampire curse out of them and then fed them some crazy strong potions. They’re getting some colour back, but they’re still out. I’ve got Volkova healing them as fast as she can spend mana.”
“Their souls were stressed by the vampiric curse,” Jason explained. “Healing magic won’t get them on their feet as quickly as normal.”
Ilyin touched his radio and responded to Team Four.
“Alekseeva, Asano is here, and he says there’s some kind of gold-rank blood monster down here as well. We’re going to rendezvous with you, get out, and leave whatever’s down here to him.”
“I like that plan. Be fast.”
A portal arch rose from the floor, black stone filled with darkness that roiled like black fire.
“This will be fast,” Jason said, and stepped through. The mercenaries shared a look.
“Either of you ever used a portal?” Orlova asked.
“No,” Ilyin said. “I saw a few being used, back in the Network days, but never went through one myself. Leadership was very restrictive about portal users.”
“You don’t think that portal leads to a cell or something, right?” Gusev asked.
“I’ve been hearing chatter, over the last year,” Ilyin said. “People talking about him coming back. Things that I thought were crazy, until I felt his aura. Until I heard his voice.”
“What was that?” Orlova asked. “It felt like hearing Moses coming down off the mountain. And how did he stop those bullets with what looked like his mind? That wasn’t in his listed power set. Some protective item from the other world?”
“If so,” Ilyin said, “he could trade it for island if he has a spare. And I don’t think the portal is a trap. We’re not powerful enough that he needs effort to handle us.”
“Then let’s get going,” Gusev said. “I don’t want to be here when something he does need effort to handle turns up.”
***
Ilyin watched as Asano lifted his people up the empty shaft as if there was an invisible elevator. He sent Team Four up first, to secure the entry point on the surface, and was now lifting Team One, who were shaky but once again conscious.
“That’s really your aura doing all that?” Orlova asked.
“Yes.”
“How does that work? I can levitate myself, but not stably, or quickly.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Is it something I could learn?”
“Unlikely. You have to go through changes to make it possible. There’s no standard process for that, as far as I’m aware.”
“How did you go through them?”
“A cosmic bird needed me to save the world and come back from the dead less often.”
“You know how that sounds, right?” Gusev asked.
“At the risk of sounding immodest, I live an interesting life.”
“You’ve fought things like what’s in this place before?” Orlova asked.
“I won’t know until I find it. Or it finds me. But I’ve fought a lot of things.”
“Did you think about using us as bait?” Gusev asked.
“Even thugs who work for blood money don’t deserve that. I’ll get your other people out alive, if I can. You should not hold your hopes up, however.”
“What about the weapon?” Ilyin asked. “That’s what you came for, right? You’re spending time with us you could use hunting for it.”
“I have someone doing that.”
“And if that someone meets whatever is out there?”
“Then whatever is out there will discover that the cosmos is a large, and sometimes extremely hungry place.”
***
“We should just leave it.”
“If we leave the weapon, Lord Louden will kill us.”
“Then we don’t go back to Lord Louden.”
“And do what? This isn’t the old days. The humans know what we are and have the magic to hunt us. We need shelter, and someone to get us out of the country. Unless you, a vampire, want to hide in the middle of a nation famous for being constantly bombarded by the sun.”
“Maybe we don’t have to go. The blood oak could easily kill them.”
“It could easily kill us. It’s unstable. Uncontrollable. Now that we’ve set it loose, we need to run from it more than we do from the humans.”
The two vampires continued loading the nuclear device into a large crate. They looked up as a third vampire hurried into the room.
“We need to go,” he told the other two.
“We know.”
“No, I mean we really need to go.”
“Where are the others?”
“Gone.”
“Are you telling me that many vampires went down to three humans?”
“No. We were devouring them when Jason Asano arrived.”
The other two went still.
“He can’t be as bad as they say, can he?”
“He’s worse. A shadow that feeds on vampires. You think Lord Louden’s aura is domineering? This was like being looked down on by a god. I was the only one to get away, and only because Asano was focused on saving the humans.”
“You got away?”
“Yes. Obviously.”
“And you came back here alone?”
“Are you dense? Yes, I came back alone. This doesn’t matter, we have to—”
“It matters. Did you really get away, or were you let go?”
“Why would I be let go?”
“So someone could follow you. That’s why you would be let go.”
The sound of footsteps on concrete came into the hall, slow and regular, like the ticking of a clock. The three vampires looked up as a man walked into the room. He wore robes, rather than normal clothes, the colour of dried blood. His features were sharp, his neat beard not quite masking the protrusion of his large chin. His eyes were blood red orbs, glistening like sunlight reflecting off the surface of a red sea.
“Is this Asano?” one of the vampires asked.
“No. The aura is wrong. And the eyes.”
“Hello. My name is Colin, and I am going to eat you now.”
Mist started spilling from an open-ended pipe jutting from the wall near the ceiling. It swiftly coalesced into a person.
“Lord Louden!”
The gold-rank vampire only had eyes for Colin.
“This isn’t Asano,” he said. “It belongs to him, though. Some kind of servant creature. I don’t think you weaklings can sense it, but this thing is filled with delicious, bloody life force.”
Louden vanished in a blur and was suddenly behind Colin, leaning in to sink his fangs into Colin’s neck. That side of Colin’s neck, head and shoulders broke apart like a jigsaw puzzle, into a mass of leeches that crawled over Louden’s head, biting right back. That was when the screaming began.
Comments
sgt_turtle
I don't recall this but it's now my head cannon
Frederick
Wasn't Collin displeased with craving sandwiches instead of blood when he held a chunk of Jason's consciousness a while back?
loco
Me: a little spooked by whatever the blood oak is. Also me: yay!!! Colin!!!!
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
J Rodriguez
I laughed way too hard at this joke!
Chloe
“Have been for a while, now. Makes it easy to remember.” Is what did it for me. Literally laughed out loud.
Chloe
Colin is a good boy.
ABTelford
Hm…what happened to Jota the pirate captain? I hope we learn soon, because I think a conversation should have occurred between him and Jason by now…??
Ariel
Lets be honest here... Colin needs the full Witcher treatment that only Netflix can provide. I want to see Flashbacks from when he was first ripped into Palli straight off his apoco-mom's teet. I want to see his struggle when he kept Jason alive for the star seed battle. I want to see him watching musicals in the clouds boat with Emi & Gordon on earth. I want to see him sneaking biscuits with stash. I want to see the moment he made the choice to become a voice of the will. And the answer is yes! Yes, he should definately be played by Henry Cavill.
Laura Hemly
Fresh blood pizza with jalapen̈os and leeches! Yummy!!
Kevari
This is dope. Would be really cool to see it incorporated into the next book fr
AfroMocha
Should have been the title name lol
AfroMocha
Think Colin's race was created to rid worlds of not just all life but vampires specificly
NovaZero
It needs a Russia joke. "In Russia, food eats you" - Colin?
Anthony Sebastian
Colin's beyond a normal familiar, as a Voice of the Will. He's also able to keep reserves of himself in Jason's Astral Kingdom, which his kind is normally unable to do, so depending on how much he's already saved up he may have enough to take over Earth
Steven Miller
LOL, he tried to eat Colin LOL!!!
John Haseltine
Do not try to eat the Bloody Abyss, because you can not comprehend it's hunger.
James Culbreath
Hello. My name is Colin, and I am going to eat you now
Adrian
Sadly for Colin, they also require spirit coins to live, meaning their regeneration will only take them so far, and can be outpaced (Jason did it easily with gold rankers trapped in his cloud house). No everlasting gobstoppers for our good boy
Adrian
I don't know. 'Something that sounds like it keeps souls in a jar' is definitely evocative, but would have been chilling if Heath hadn't been reading it 😅
Adrian
I suspect Colin would be more fulfilled by constant consumpion (which Jason could also provide) rather than a release from hunger. Besides, its been strongly implied that Colin's kind aren't just hungry. They are literally a manifestation of hunger as a concept. Probably no sating that...
Mike
Not gonna lie im loving this arc
sgt_turtle
So Colin is a fount of endless hunger right? Has the idea ever been floated that jason should let him feel full while in his soul space? On top of being endlessly hungry sounding like a torturous existence, I bet it'd be a novel feeling and Colin would be able to pick up a hobby, like the violin or tap dance. Instead of just trying to figure out how to eat all the neighbors without Jason growing wise
JDPEI97
Yay Colin!
Daniel Wills
Jason is also the only one who can leave to deal with the problem and still be at the gathering with a rubber avatar. I’m sure it’s as easy as him opening a portal to get back up. And if Colin can handle a gold vamp on his own, Jason has all the help he needs. I’m surprised Sophie didn’t go with just to punch something.
Xiggurat
If it has a personality, it’s a person.
Justin
When Jason first meets Shako he says “Mate you’re the captain in the fleet of a Cosmic Pirate Admiral”
GentlemanG33k
I think the ability that makes he a true world ender is the ability to endless reproduce with enough life force. I don't think that ability unlocks until diamond rank.
Richard Bonds
Perhaps, say, a messenger breeding planet? That sounds about right.
ByLAWphoto
He could. But let's not tell the Earthlings that.
Rachel Clements
TYFTC!
Marcus
Absolutely can take on the Blood Oak. Pretty he'd do it as bad as the vamps.
Laura Hemly
He's already pretty terrifying, but we still see him with his iron/bronze rank personality, the good boy whose individual leeches do adorable little dances. But he's permanently tied to Jason, and will only eat what/who Jason tells him to. And honestly, I don't see Colin going wild on a planet and eating everything down to the bare rock; it's going to take a crazy long time for Jason to reach that kind of mass destruction capability. He's too willing to give others a second and third and fourth chance to do the right thing.
Scott McCarthy
That is every Gold Rank Vamp on earth.
J Holmes
Even in gold rank, we still get new Jason chin jokes.
J Holmes
Our Christmas present this year is from us to Shirt: a month's vacation!
RedScaledOne
Who's a good apocalyptic boi! Colin is!
JoeyRed
Yes! Add it to the final copy
IllustriousIllusionist
So realistically speaking if Earths Magical density is stuck at Gold Rank for the time, and since Colin is a Gold Rank apocalypse beast couldn’t Colin theoretically eventually be enough to single handedly take over the world if Jason so desired it?
Dillion
Not just any apocalypse beast either, but one known for devouring every living thing on a planet. A world take worm or Naga? Vamp could probably get away with it. A sanguine horror? Not a chance in hell
ByLAWphoto
@Zack, @StarkRG - remember: gold rankers regenerate! Colin can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. and while, yes, he WANTS to eat a whole planet, the guy hasn't yet, so he may not be ready. they eyes are greedy, but the tummy does fill. I would say the vampires + the blood oak = light brunch
Dillion
It just occurred to me that diamond rank Colin will be absolutely terrifying. Sanguine Horrors already wipe out planets and are incredibly hard to stop, and that's when they start out at bronze rank. Colin will be dropping in on planets with the full strength and numbers of a diamond rank Sanguine Horror from the word go. And that's assuming he doesn't get even more powerful when Jason reaches full transcendent rank
Dillion
When Colin gained his voice of the will form it was mentioned that he could use most of Jason's powers but that some of them, like familiar and aura powers, would be replaced with something else. I'm ready to finally see Jason clone Colin fight someone instead of just the usual leach swarm or nightmare horror
ByLAWphoto
I want to see him with post-Thanksgiving malaise. His belly all sticking out, lazing on a cloud couch, watching football....
StarkRG
@Matt Oh, I see, one of those Sovereign Citizen vamps.
StarkRG
Yeah, a proper meal would be a planet. This would barely even be considered tapas.
StarkRG
They stole other people's life force, so it's not really immoral to steal it back.
StarkRG
I'd love to see Jason address the UN and watch all the delegates look confusedly at their translator earpieces that are inexplicably pointless. And then at all the professional translators in their booths unsure how to proceed.
Lizy Flore
Waa - that’s.. legitimately impressive
StarkRG
Have Gordon replace Other Gordon as PM. As long as he continues to appease the mining industry, I doubt anyone would notice.
StarkRG
I figured out how to defeat the vampires: put Colin leeches on a bunch of pizzas and then deliver them to the vampires. It's hard to turn down free pizza.
StarkRG
I'm pretty sure Colin is fundamentally incapable of not being hungry. Someone needs to get that boy a planet or two to much on.
DirePants
We deserved this chapter 😂😂 so good! Colin is hilarious.
SmokeJam
Colin is a good boy.
Sacha
I vote to implement on the book somehow... Shirtaloon?! Add it
Nayee
Bro really thought he can eat the "World eater". Lol
Rod
nice matrix reference! go Colin!
Josh
I feel like Colin would cook with Mystery Meat, the mystery, as always, was who it came from....
Andromeda Adams
Yes! Go Colin!! Save the nuke, then destroy the blood oak. Can Colin take on the Blood Oak? Tyftc!
Bert Bertinelli
They're both gold rank BUT Colin is an apocalyptic beast, Voice of the Will of The Astral Nexus... This poor blood oak might just as well be a sentient toothpick
Idan tal
Beautiful
Bert Bertinelli
It gave me goosebumps, thank you
Diviknight
Colin’s been a good boy
Malcolm Gray
Damn that chapter felt short but Colin is such a good boy
Elijah Monture
Probably a Prime Video or Hulu thing rather than Disney, given that it's Colin.
Laura Hemly
No, @Scott McCarthy, Colin would eat every living thing down to the bare rock of a planet. Remember, the messenger who was raising the World Eater Worms talked about seeing a planet that messengers tried to conquer with an apocalypse beast (i.e. leeches) but they lost all control and had to abandoned it because all life was gone. Colin could eat everything!!
Laura Hemly
Ah, yes, another level. I'm sure he'll gain something from eating vampires, although it probably would take eating a whole bunch of gold rank vampires to gain even the equivalent ability to moving from gold 3 to gold 4. But since familiars don't use essences, he only ranks up with Jason, so for Colin a big meal mostly means increasing body mass. He makes lots more adorable little leeches.
shawn B
Good boy Colin!
Keven Leigh
Petition for a Colin perspective chapter.
Laura Hemly
Colin's already there and enjoying eating the vampires as a good hors d'oevre, so now he needs the entree! The blood oak should be enough to fill all his tiny tummies and let him double his mass so he'll be ready for a whole vampire buffet, a.k.a. Europe!
Arieh Sochaczevski
Thanks for the chapter! It feels like we haven’t seen enough of Colin. This was a welcome tidbit, but I hope there’s more coming.
Josh
Yeah, but that's a opportunity to send a clear message. Sometimes overkill is underrated.
CritHappens
Also could be political. Could seem heavy handed sending the team to clean up other Gordon’s mess
Tartlet
He’s been waiting so long…
IAMather
Yay! Colin gets to eat. Poor buddy was just hungry this entire time.
Danny
The only thing I was missing out of Colin there, was the added "I'm a good boy" before.
Kz-necromancer
yep. woke half the house up laughing at that last bit.
Rowdy Robby
Colin vs The Vampires My new favorite Halloween story. Very scary.
Vincent Ciavone
I feel like a plant based new form could be badass, but maybe just something small if anything
Matthew Church
Pretty sure it was a great aunt...
JL McDonald
Incredible closing. 👏
Emiya
Bloody biscuits 2 electric boogaloo
Sébastien Kingsbury
The vampire at the end got hit by a pretty hard uno reverse card
Carl Gherardi
Meat garnished with meat... That's an entire episode about bacon. I imagine Colins favourite would be rumaki
Omar Diaz
Colin is a good boy
Jacob Goodrich
Damn well fing done mate. That is bloody brilliant. I came to say that no one should try snacking on Colin. That's like sleeping on shade
Martin Tomsic
EPIC!!!!
Kalanaere
Gordon is occupied with Other Gordon
Blake N.
This is also not a real threat that requires the team. It’s ultimately a low stakes fight that he can easily handle alone. It’s the same as whenever he goes ahead and kills a bunch of monsters while the team waits inside
ByLAWphoto
Colin the Swarm, the World-Eater’s Son A leech, a legion, yet only one. He shifts to Jason, or shadows crawl, He smiles and says, “I’ll eat you all.” His hunger’s fierce, his mind is keen, A swarm that’s lethal, yet rarely seen. He spares the good, his wrath reserved, For villains who have death deserved. Each bite, a toxin-- each leech, a spawn, He feeds on energy 'til darkness is drawn. But Colin’s good, his wrath restrained, For justice calls where evil’s reigned. So when he grins with that eerie calm, And utters words with quiet balm, “Hello,” he says, with hungry vow, “My name is Colin. I'll eat you now.”
Kalanaere
Yes!! Go Collin!!
Sean C Jackson
Lol
Blake N.
I mean, bacon on a burger is a classic for a reason
Blake N.
He can talk now right? Tell other Gordon how he really feels
Sid
He's like a pineapple in that way. The fruit that eats you when you eat it.
Jason Galyon
We found Neil’s Patreon account. Did anyone tell his Nana where to send the new clothing?
Grayvisc
Colin’s a good boy
DarthPineapples
He's gonna get a full belly
Sean C Jackson
He's not, this is just quite literally something any proper Gold ranker could do alone and that Jason is especially suited for, and therefore bringing the whole team would be extreme overkill.
Stephanie Washburn
Garnishing meat with more meat is much better
Stephanie Washburn
That's funny but a very, very bad idea.
Stephanie Washburn
Okay this was a very good chapter. What a good horrifying boy you are, Colin.
Gwalmeich
Colin, the snack that bites back.
Daniel Wells
Death by Colin is quite poetic for Vampires pretty sure Jason considered that when deciding on who to send
Jordan Rogers
Is Collin gonna get a major uograde from eating this blood oak thing? Like eating the world eater worms
deadmo
colins the best boy
ByLAWphoto
POLL: who are we hoping will take on the blood oak?? Jason, Mano a tree-o, the Legion of Colin wiggling through every wood fiber, Gordon featuring one of his first conversations, Arbour in his first non-Jason fight, or the ageless Shade who may express so much disdain that the tree just spontaneously dies?
Jacob Conway
I’d love to sing Gordon enter Other Gordon’s office singing a show tune.
Jacob Conway
You think Colin’s just practicing his introduction for when he’s diamond rank and arriving on messenger planets?
Scott Hone
I agree that was related to the issue brought up when Humphrey confronted Jason, but this doesn't feel like he's leaving the team out of things–Rather it feels to me like Jason is playing his part in the team. This is absolutely Jason's (& co.'s) element. The issue to my understanding wasn't the act of Jason going into dangerous situations alone itself, it was a lack of communication, not keeping the team appraised of the relevant details and excluding them purposely, thereby handicapping the team's ability to respond if and when Jason's part in things goes awry, because Jason still at that earlier point didn't trust them to trust him and let him go into those dangerous situations. We haven't heard one way or the other if that communication has happened in this instance, but I'm giving Jason the benefit of the doubt here because he has shown a lot of positive progress lately.
Sam
When the food bites back
Liesmith
I believe we call that a teachable moment.
JonO
I'm sure he'll eat a blood tree... it's meaty
JonO
Along the people adjacent lines I'll say it doesn't matter.... blood related abilities work better against vampires. Colin is a sanguine horror. So I'm pretty sure blood related consumption to him means extra caloric intake. So 1 vampire equals a meal and a half.
JonO
Screeches would be more horrifying, sure, but doesn't quite create a full scene like him announcing his intentions.
JonO
I remember Jason commenting on Gordon destroying candy and sucking in the fumes. He said maybe Gordon likes high fructose corn syrup.
Monty
We love our best leachey boy
JonO
Gordon's aura should come with a musical accompaniment.
Josh
Why not both?
JonO
Nah this doesn't count. Exigent (sp?) Circumstances. Plus they're with his family. Based on past experience on earth... his whole family will get in the way. Better to let them continue what they're doing. Plus it's blood related.... his team will just say "blood is kind of Jason's thing.... he's got this, can I get another sandwich? "
Zack
Hell yea. Hoping for more storylines involving Gordon in a similar way!
Joanna
It's 211 bodies now. It'll be 2311 at diamond rank They're known as Euclid primes
Preston Stokes
Colin is such a good boy!
JonO
Peak chunni?
JonO
Honestly I think stash would make a better guest. He actually knows how to bake lol
Ruari Yeen
On top of that, I suspect there's the back of the mind concern that his team can't survive the sudden detonation of a nuclear weapon but he could - and that's explicitly the item he's going down there to find
JonO
Yes and this time he can be edited out not for a gross sex thing.... but for putting raw meat on everything as a garnish. Even garnishing raw meat with more raw meat. Lol
Chad .
Nukes & Time
ReadingObsessed
That was awesome!! "My name is Colin, and I'm going to eat you now." I can't wait to hear the audio!
Josh
Erica Asano's cooking show with special guest Colin?
Josh
Yeah, but that was the whole argument with Humphrey, is that he is part of a team and needs to trust the team to back him up.
Hunter
Also killing blood sucking apocalypse monsters is totally one of Jasons things.
TBONEMAN
Now that Colin can talk I want to see him on tv explaining how he won't eat everyone in the world even though he really wants to.
Darthnarciss
This is different. He wouldn't want his team being sent into a warren filled with vamps. He said he wouldn't leave them behind, not that every mission he undertakes is one they can participate in. The team can be fed on, Jason can't be.
Joi Soto
That was so good!!
Hayden Leech
I love akashic speech. It’s peak otherworldly magic.
Stephen
Yay Colin! Whole Colin mini arc? Colin stand alone novel? Colin cartoon on Disney plus?!
Josh
Actually, this chapter seems like a backslide for Jason. Why is he going in solo? Wasn't the whole thing that he wasn't going to leave his team behind?
Justin
Great chapter!! I love interactions like this with the adventurers and the reactions of the vampires! TYFTC!!!
Justin
LETS FUCKING GO COLIN!!!
Lonnie
Who's a good boy? Colin is the goodest! 😆 I can hear it now, "come on Dad, let me eat all the blood bags, they taste better than monsters"
Gafgarion
what a good boy, finally gets a proper meal in.
Maudley
Eh, I don't think that logic really holds out, as the humans are doing their best to keep things unchanging and paint the new world how they know. Other Gordon is dumb, but uses tried and true strats that work under the framework we use. It would have to be a situation that really has a lot of risk for people in power, and everything about how things are set up tries to keep them insulated from the chaos.
Jason Hardman
Judy Garland with overtones of oblivion.
Jay Doubleyou Kay
Hooray for Collin!
Austin Richins
Colin is the best boy
René Blaser
01:30 in the morning reading this chapter and just laughing out loud! Yeah! Go Team Colin!
Ford-Thomas Frank Loveland
I am laughing so hard, at someone trying to eat colin
Jarrett Glass
True, not a salad fan.
ByLAWphoto
Thing is, gold rankers regenerate. So Colin can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat.
Mantiqore
I think it was a power of 3. 200 something. Definitely follows a formula and you can find that formula, just forgot where and what it was.
ByLAWphoto
I would be afraid of that book. Seems to me, Colin was trying to be sweet and made everyone hot cocoa with extra protein.
ByLAWphoto
If you actually think about it, that's a day in the life for a zombie. Your primary food source is your greatest predator. Still...0.1% pity for the boss man.
Soli116
YAY for Colin! Also,Jason knows how to make an entrance.
John Durrett
I imagine eating a lot helps to flesh out his character as well. Lol
ByLAWphoto
And Gordon would feel exactly like Judy Garland.
Jake Rands
Shade's would feel like the Buckingham Palace
John Durrett
Yes he is!
Tim G
COLIN is finally back!!! Can’t wait for Gordon to make his appearance too!!!
Jlee1014
Nice
TBONEMAN
I also like his old voice. Who wouldn't like a swarm of leaches that sounds like a thousand screaming tortured souls.
Kenneth Welever
Imagine being a vampire and smelling the most deliciously powerful blood and going in for a bite only for your lunch to turn into a world destroying monster. It is a bad night to be a vampire when around colin
james williams
Meant from Gold 3 to Gold 4
ByLAWphoto
Space pirates, vampire comeuppance, and Colin eats lunch...is it Christmas already?
Laura Hemly
He should be Gold already, having ranked up with Jason,.
Soli116
@Stark I would buy that
Laura Hemly
He ate a spirit coin recently...
Laura Hemly
I love his having a voice, too, but I always loved Shirt's descriptions of the sounds Colin would make in the early days. They were so evocative and so deeply silly!
granndfunk
Do we even know how many bodies shade has now? Was it hundreds, or thousands? Colin is a walking apocalypse of course (and a good boy). And then there is Gordon, doing magic that people who understand esoteric things barely know about.
StarkRG
They may average a little on the evil side, but they're still pretty close to human norms. Besides, Gods and GABs are people, and they're way outside the norm.
Zachary Blevins
Does Gordon eat anything?
DDHG
Man I didn't think I would see a Hydrogen Bomb V. A hobo with a stick today in this chapter, but man what a fantastic 20-0 match up.
StarkRG
Oh, I don't know, I think "I'm going to eat you now" was a pretty good line and I don't think it would work as well in screeches.
chad osborn
Colin is such a good boy!!!
StarkRG
I'm still holding out hope for a HWFWM Cookbook canonically co-written by Jason and Erica Asano and edited by Shade, with margin commentary by Gordon and Colin.
Kconraw
Hooray for the return of Colin! Thx for the chapter
Scott McCarthy
Shades would just feel like a upperclass British home.
Christopher McCoin
I'd like to see the familiars/voices get their own auras, even if they don't come with specific effects. Colin's aura would be fun. A wave of blood and hunger powerful enough to devour whole worlds and not be sated. I imagine Shade's aura would have a cold, indifferent judgement with a tinge of disappointment in you.
Kenneth
Colin! Colin! Colin!
Scott McCarthy
He would not eat the trees...
Josh
Would you consider Craig people?
Buck
Hoo! This is going to be good! Colin is going to instruct the vampires on the finer points of eating others! 😂😂
Scott McCarthy
And those who can not survive more then a "Colin Nibble", which go ranks are not.
Roro
Colin, the Goodyear boy!
Gotrek65
I dunno are vampires considered people?
Aaron Greene
Colin! The "snack" that devours back lol
Aaron Greene
People adjacent
Josh
Hey, better than the none he has been eating before. Maybe Jason will relent and let him nibble on someone else?
Tyler
I'm sure they taste better than any other monster thus far
TBONEMAN
I'm glad Colin is showing up. He doesn't show up enough. Giving him a voice really helps flesh out his character too.
Roro
SAME!
Consumer of litrpg
Well the vampires are a known threat, but this other thing is quite the mysTree
Zachary Blevins
When he starts making spin off novels Colin !!! Deserves his own the title should be 101 things to eat or to day a light snack tomorrow the world
Clarence Williamson
Didn't even have to use Door Dash.
Jennifer Leigh
No, that's people Jason wants alive.
Jennifer Leigh
Some things are very hungry!
Izraifel
I mean, are vampires really people at this point?
Greg Lambert
Colin really does need his own chapter. Although it is funnier before he could talk and just scream.
Mr_Top_Hat
Ooooooh you chose the absolute worst thing in the universe to try and feed on my man colin loves it when he doesn't have to work hard for food
james williams
Wonder if Collin will get a Gold rank level from eating the vampire, assuming they still have reality core blood to go around.
Monty Crisco
Finally. Colin gets to do what he loves most.
Matt
Probably because his familiars are weaker on purpose. Also may not believed the “rumors” about Jason. The stories are there to keep the vamp down, but I’m a free thinking all powerful vamp with my crew… what is this bitting…. aaarrrrggh
Josh
Colin finally got to eat people... he must be so happy right now
Larry Rohdes
“Hello. My name is Colin, and I am going to eat you now.” What a great line!
Domy
Colin gets a nice gooey snack
Gabriel Lima
I love colin
Cam
I’m glad Colin gets some screen time. I’ve missed him!
Tom Whatley
Go Colin the bestest boy!!
Zack
What do you mean proper meal? This is merely an appetizer.
Laura Hemly
I am so happy to see Colin, with a whole group of yummy vampire snacks leading up to the blood oak main course! I actually shouted "COLIN!!" when I read his entry, and I am far more delighted than I should be to see the lovable apocalypse monster!
Aaron Schwartz
Police girl is probably one of the holes in this comparison, although if there was going to be one, it would probably be book one Sophie. Or maybe Asya. If you need one in the current book, it’s gotta be Clive’s Wife
lockx
Colin finally gets a good bloody lunch
Martin Tomsic
Does that make Colin "police girl"? Or would that be Gordon since he seems a bit more reserved in blood lust, while firing cannons?
Censorydep
Go Team Colin!
TimeDrawsNigh
Remember Colin, only a nibble!
brian phillips
Biscuits!
Samuel Strode
That’s what happened but the story was replaying a slight MC was offended by the dead guys poor knowledge of amontillado being stored in casks they were never stored in casks apparently so he needed to die in a wine cellar to learn not to try to be better then one’s betters I think a nice analogy don’t try to out suck a leach vampire!
Stuart Thwaites
Yeah, it takes a special kind of dumb ,Or arrogance, to try and take a bite out of a creature you know belongs to Jason and that clearly said it's going to eat you.
AfroMocha
Kinda scary when you think Jason's familiars with him are a team of gold rankers with crazy stupid powers
Godzilla511
Colin: "I am the one who bites"
Martin Tomsic
I think Jason might qualify it with saying "greater" vampires, as the lesser vampires may be freshly turned essence users with a slim chance at Carlos curing them. Other than that, I can easily see this as having been their conversation. Well done!!
AfroMocha
Yay Colin!!!!!!!
Crystal Donak
It's Earth...need we say more? Lol
Crystal Donak
COLIN!!!! Missed him!!!! The words "I'm going to eat you now." Have never made me happier...well except 3 seconds before I stare down a delicious brownie
Dlandis
Hrmmn, vampire versus world ending apocalypse beast. My bet will always be on the ever-faithful Colin.
Jarrett Glass
Adorable little dances and consuming entire planets.
Chuck Haeberle
Ohh yes he is! He's such a very good boi!
Timothy
Colin's bit at the end reminds me of Blade 2 where the genetically altered vampire eats another vampire, except with lots more teeth and swarm goodness.
Jacob Trevino
HES A GOOD BOY HE IS
Xiggurat
Cask of amontillado, but wasn’t that about being walled up in a wine cellar?
Keegan Moss
Jason finally gave him a proper snack
mockery jones
What kind of idiot engages in an all you can eat competition with an apocalypse beast?
Scott McCarthy
Gold rank Vamp : "I can take the familiar of the scariest man on the planet" Said familiar: "free snack"
Alan McLaughlin
Omg yes. Colin finally gets a proper meal.
Samuel Strode
Exactly
Martin Tomsic
Thank you for the chapter, Shirt! This book just keeps getting better with each chapter you write!!! And the ending was magnificent!!
Sean McClain
Missing scene: JA: Colin you know how I said you can't eat people? C: yes JA: besides the very few exceptions, who are not here, I don't consider Vampires people C: you mean... JA: go nuts buddy, enjoy your all you can eat buffet C: *cracking gleeful laughter into the night* JA: they grow up so fast.
Moonray
It's like a 13 book setup!
Russell Ventimeglia
OMG! So good! Go Colin!!
Aaron Schwartz
You know, now that I think of it I’m actually starting to get Helsing ultimate/Helsing ultimate abridged vibes from this. He’s an immensely powerful supernatural entity with evil powers , who (seems) to drink the blood of his enemies. He has a real problem with gods and churches. He fights monsters to protect the innocent while being absolutely terrifying to everyone he’s trying to help, he’s almost literally impossible to kill, and he has voluntarily leashed himself to an older woman that he allows to govern the extent to which he uses his powers. There’s even a Butler! The scenes practically write themselves. Vamp Lord: who is it? Collin: Oh, you know… A REAL FUCKING VAMPIRE! OM NOM NOM NOM!!!!
Brad Gammey
When Colin comes out to play... Oh this is gonna be good!
Glenn S
Of all people someone tried to eat Colin?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
TheCrazyDuck
Good boy!
Dalth
Cask of Amontillado? About the guy who tricks another guy, who insulted the first, into his basement, with a bottle of expensive booze, to kill him by burying him alive? I suppose that makes sense, the narrator’s family motto was something like “nobody insults us without repercussions” or something like that. A boot crushing a snake biting the foot, was the coat of arms if I remember right?
Danny boy
"I am going to eat you now" I legit burst out laughing on the train!
Chris Shorthill
Wow I think we posted that in unison…
Micah
My boy, ready for fun.
DestroyrBuck
Colin is a good boy
Maria Klein
GO COLIN!!! He’s such a good boy 🥰
Prideful Gaming
movie monster?
Chris Shorthill
And Colin plays the reverse card on the vampire….
pizzadahuttt
Colin gets fed very well today
ItWasIDIO!!
Also I appreciate the thinning of the dumb dumb sheep like how long can dumb people survive during the last what 15 years of survival of the fittest you explained well how Fake Gordon got in power but everybody else has to be smart so he can be stupid
Der Ritter
I love wen collin bites Back 😁
Harbby
Fuck yeah Colin!
richard jones
One thing I do enjoy about these books is the references
CaptainFlowers
I'm honestly excited as hell to see voice of will spider monster Colin fight the blood oak. Him plunging down the shaft and fucking up all those elemental messengers with gold rank aura attacks was AWESOME
Unwillingmainer
Finally, Jason let Collin eat some people. People full of delicious blood and life force. One of them even offered himself up first!
Drahnir .
he got uno reversed by colin
Justin Butler
Good Boy Colin. You make that nasty old vampire into a snack.
Mantiqore
Colin can finally be himself again <3
Forrest
Vampires are going to become Colin's biscuits
David Collins
Way too short Neeeeed MOAR
BloodStorm
Colin is a good boy 😊
Valhazstromoz
Pull yourself together Colin!😂
ItWasIDIO!!
"It's COLIN TIME"
Tom Rhyne
Do not try to outsuck the leeches…
Techy
Buahahahahaha Colin's entrance was amazing. I am glad to see him getting some solo bit's
Rem
Team Collin FTW!
Aaron Schwartz
Vamp: I don’t know who this is, but they smell delicious! Colin: I know you are but what am I. 😎😎😎
Samuel Strode
What was that Poe book cask of ama…. Foot stepping on a snake snake bitting the foot vampire you chose the wrong meal…
Lizy Flore
Love you Colin, even when you want to eat people you stay polite, so cute 🥰
Kyle Hunter
Colin is a good boy! Finally gets to eat people, kinda
JonO
Omg horrifically amazing Colin is such a good devious boy!
Andre Morales
this was nice
C0bra$
Thank u for the story almost
Thomas Black
Colin is a good boy and will eat like a king for a long time with all the vampires on Earth.
Cameron Baldwin
Trying to eat Colin? Not only rude, but incredibly stupid.
White Neko Knight
Hu, I never thought I'd see someone idiotic enough to try and Eat Colin.
Martin Pienaar
This is a sign that need to sleep, thank you for the chapter!
Stuart prior
Whats worse than a gold rank blood suckered?? Colin
Cyrus McEnnis
Colin's such a good boy.
mhaj58
It’s just like Ourobourous. The snake is left constantly eating its own tail. Only a small tick can’t compare with an apocalypse beast.
Darkdragon
Biscuits
John goode
Biscuits!
Brent
A biscuit a day.. befriends a mustachioed dragon.
