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A Simple Life: Chapter 26
🕑 Added 2023-04-04 16:44:50 +0000 UTCKeeping me safe in his arms Grandpa leads me out into the living room and sits me down beside him on the sofa. There he lets me cry until I’d cried myself out, which took awhile. My emotions kept swinging wildly between despair, grief, anger and stubborn denial. It was the strangest thing mourning for the living. My Grandpa was right here, holding me as I clutched to him, but for some part of me it was like he was already gone. A living ghost. That was so unfair. Unfair to him and unfair to us. He was still alive! I couldn’t waste what time we had acting like he wasn’t. Gradually the crazy ups an downs level off to a constant state of somber sadness. Only as the tears began to run out did I realize how selfish I was being. Here he was the one comforting me even though he was the one with terminal cancer.
Sitting up I look at him and touch his cheek. It was warm against my cold fingers. He smiles, his own eyes twinkling with tears that hadn’t spilled. Using his sleeve like a handkerchief he daubs my wet cheeks dry.
“I love you Grandpa.”
“And I love you my Buttercup.”
With a sniffle and a wipe I clear my throat. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He says. “I cried just like you did when I found out about Anna. It’s good to cry.”
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I…I think you should get the treatments.”
His smile remains though now mixed with melancholy. “I will think about it.”
“But…”
“I will think about it.” He says again more firmly.
“Okay.” I say. “I’ll…I’ll be here for you. If you need anything…ANYTHING…”
“I know my boy. I know.” He kisses my head. “You must be thirsty. Why don’t you go grab us a couple of beers?”
I nod and hurry to the fridge for a couple of cold cans. We crack them open and butt cans, as we always did, then I take my sip and he takes his swig.
“I-I-I’ll…”
“Avery.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Slow down.”
I nod, take a breath, take a sip, and start again. “I’ll come around more. I promise.”
“See here? This is part of the fuss I was talking about.” He says. “You come around lots, not that I’m complaining or nothin. You don’t need to change anything.”
“Well I’ll be here more.” I insist. “As much as I can.”
“Avery…”
“I can check on you everyday after work. It’s not even a five minute ride.”
“Avery…”
“I-I’ll cancel my date tomorrow.”
“What? You will not! Not on my account at least.”
“I want to spend my time with you.” I say. “I want to be with you. I want to help.”
“No, no, no.” He shakes his head. “You keep living your life Buttercup. That’s what you can do for me. More than anything I want that.”
“But…”
“We’ve got some time Buttercup.” He squeezes my shoulder. “And I want to hear what happens with your Miss Perfect. Before I sail off I need to know if she’s The One or not.”
“We’ll go another time.” I say. “It’s not important.”
“No. You go this time. It is important.” He says. “Some opportunities never come around again. One seized moment can change the course of a whole life.”
“It’s just a date.”
“It’s the first line of a new chapter.” He says. “Better to make it a good one.”
“Grandpa…life’s not a story.”
“Oh my boy, you are so wrong about that.” His smile warms. “It is THE story. A comedy, a drama, a tragedy all in one. With a dash of poetry mixed in if we’re lucky.” Looking into my eyes he says. “You go and you sweep that lady off her feet.” He lays his hand on my chest. “You show her the real you. And if your souls were meant for each other…it’ll click.” He winks. “Maybe it already has.”
A part of me wanted to resist, to insist that I would be here at his side every precious minute of every precious day until the end. But another part of me could not deny the truth in his words. In my bones I could feel there was something special going on. Though I’d only met her Winona had added something to my life that I hadn’t even realized I was missing. I adored every moment I had with my Grandpa. I loved him more than everything else in this world put together. He made me everything that I was. But I could feel an irresistible pull toward the person I would become. Whether it was heeding his wisdom or a selfish desire to be with her, I agree.
“Okay.” I nod. “I’ll go.”
“Atta boy.” He clinks my beer with his. “Here’s to swimmin with bare naked women!”
“Pff!” I giggle. “Grandpa!”
He chuckles and raises a real toast. “Here’s to the ladies that make this journey worth takin.”
“And to true love.” I raise my beer toward my Grandma’s picture.
“To true love.” He smiles up at his one and only.
We drink.
The remainder of the night Grandpa and I talk and laugh and cry a bit more, but just a bit. We even get the cleaning up done along the way. The hurt of the terrible news is still there, but muted by a fresh zest for this treasured time we shared.
Total lightweight that I am the moment the beer was offered we both knew I’d be spending the night which was just fine by us. The guest room, a room I knew all so well from a thousand weekend sleepovers and summer stays, was always made and ready for company. As I undress and brush my teeth I reflect on this monumental day. From the humiliation of my brother’s visit at work to Winona surprising me later to Kayla’s confusing advice to my joyous and liberating evening with a new friend followed by the agony of discovering Grandpa’s condition and concluding in this cozy togetherness it had been a day like no other. For such an unprecedented day though, it ends as countless others had before.
Just like when I was little Grandpa tucks me in, kisses my head, and serenades me with a softly whispered version of My Little Buttercup. I gaze up at my hero, that familiar head and shoulders silhouetted by the hall light streaming through the door. In the shadow I could not see the wear of years on his face or see the extra white on his scruffy cheeks and chin. It could have been ten years ago, or even twenty, until a wheezing cough brings me back to the present. As he croons to the final “I loooove youuuu” my heart is breaking and overflowing at the same time.
He kisses my head again. “Good night my Buttercup.”
“Good night Grandpa.” I whisper.
He rises and walks to the door. There he pauses to look back at me…then steps through and closes the door. In the darkened room I close my eyes and let the gentle rock of the water lull me to sleep.
Comments
Gnominion
Got a bit meta with this one! 😂
