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Man Flu 3: Christmas Caroline
🕑 Added 2023-12-22 16:41:42 +0000 UTCA sappy Christmas story from me to you. I think I am going to release it on AO3 on the 25th as a little surprise present for all of my readers but in the meantime it is all yours. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. ❤
***
Blanket wrapped around me I sit hunched over with my controller held loosely in my clammy hands as I stare blankly at the screen. Honestly I was sick to death of this game but I was at a loss as to what else to do. Normally I would have popped out to grab a hot bite to eat just to break up the monotony but it being Christmas day almost everything was closed. Besides, I was technically in quarantine right now. While the recently developed vaccine helped quite a bit for alleviating the aches, fever, sore throat, and the like it didn’t do a damn thing in terms of stopping the transmission of the Man Flu. Reaching down I scratch my freshly sprouted one day old balls. The shot didn’t do a damn thing at stopping the other major symptom of the illness either.
Though I knew I’d be back before long I shut off the system with a sullen sigh. As the screen goes blank I see staring back at me a dark eyed woman that looked every bit as miserable as she felt. The pale face with dark circles beneath the eyes could not be blamed on the sickness but was the result of me barely being outside to see the sun these past few years. Though I wasn’t even particularly cold I had a dark gray wool cap pulled down over my head nearly covering my short black hair and beneath the knit blanket I wore a frumpy black sweater and baggy black sweat pants which completely concealed my buxom physique. Buxom being a kinder way of saying soft and hopelessly out of shape. On the wrong side of thirty the wheels of my career were spinning in place, my social life was crumbling, my dating prospects nonexistent, and even my familial bonds had broken down to the point where I’d rather sit here alone than visit my folks. While the Man Flu had been the excuse this year the truth was I had no intention on going anyway. I couldn’t stand seeing all of my siblings and cousins with their loving spouses and smiling families. After being a no-show for four years running I was wondering how much longer I would even receive an invitation. Ah well. It’d probably be for the best for everybody if those ties finally got severed permanently. They wouldn’t miss me and I sure as hell wouldn’t miss them. Although…at this time of year…
“Fuck’em.” I grumble as I stand and shrug the blanket from my shoulders. I step into my slippers then stretch my sore back before shuffling off toward the kitchen in search of something to fill my grumbling gut.
Along the way my hand strays on its own to give my fresh new penis a quick stroke through my sweats. The moment I feel the rub against my sensitive organ I pull it away once more. Though I was damn curious to experience the pleasures of the other sex I was also quite aware of the recent news that the more you cum with your dick the higher your chances that it became permanent. A study released just last week showed that even one sperm releasing orgasm increased the chances tenfold that you’d never see your pussy again. The odds were still slim but I wasn’t going to take any chances. While my love life was bleak I hadn’t entirely given up hope of a family. As distant as that hope might seem. It wasn’t easy though. This thing in my pants sure was a needy bitch, and so responsive! I was glad that this part only lasted around a week.
I open my fridge and lean to search inside. On the top shelf was the half eaten pizza that ordered yesterday. Beyond that all I find is some eggs, some juice, a few pickles, and a bevy of mostly empty condiment jars. Fishing a slice from the box I jam it in my mouth and let the fridge door swing close on its own. As I stand staring blankly at my wall and chewing on the cold, cheesy, day old pizza an annoyingly insistent knock comes to my door. Who in the hell could that be today of all days?
I slip on a face mask, put down my pizza straight on the counter, then shuffle toward the door and pull it open. “Yeah?”
Greeting me is my neighbor Caroline from the next door down from mine. With curly, bouncy and vibrant red locks that spilled down over her shoulders, a blinding white smile that could like up a stadium framed by glossy bubblegum lips, and sparkling bright blue eyes her face alone was an assault on my drab existence. Add to this a Barbie pink fuzzy sweater, a lemon yellow shirt, and turquoise sandals she was a lot to take in all at once. Sprouting from her fiery red hair were a pair of plastic antlers. I give her scornful look up and down her flawless bombshell body. She was taller than me, thinner than me, better skin and hair than me, and a couple years younger than me. Ugh. Disgusting. Hourglass shape, big perky tits, full round ass, long shapely legs, and a face to drive men wild and women mad with jealousy, she was the perfect bimbo. Despite her killer good looks she was neither hitched to a longterm partner nor a wanton ‘slut’, not that I gave a shit either way, though she was rarely without male company for very long. An unfortunate fact that I knew too well thanks to our bedrooms sharing a common wall. The number of times I had to satisfy myself with my dildo as she loudly got railed just a few feet away I had long since lost count of.
Throwing her arms wide she exclaims in a jubilant cry. “Merry Christmas Faith!”
I sigh. “It’s Faye. What do you want?”
“Faye?” She laughs. “I never knew that! I always thought it was Faith. Faye. That’s so pretty!”
“Thanks.” Never had so much sarcasm been heaped onto a single syllable.
She was oblivious to it. “I over heard the pizza guy awhile back. I thought he said Faith!” She laughs. “But it was actually Faye.”
“Oh Jesus.” I pinch the bridge of my nose to push back the rising headache. “Do you need something or…?” She stands there waiting patiently for me to finish the question I didn’t think needed to be asked. “What do you want!?”
“Oh!” She startles at my acerbic tone. “Right. Um, so I noticed your lights were on and I was wondering…”
“How?”
“Huh?”
I look back and forth down the empty fifth floor hallway and the rows of identical doors. “How could you possibly tell my lights were on?”
“Hah!” She snaps her fingers and taps her temple. “I saw the reflection in the building next door. Clever, huh?”
“Are you spying on me?”
“No!” She exclaims. “No, no, no. I just was looking and…I saw your lights and…um…”
“Okay, okay. Whatever.” I shut her down before she could blather on too long. “What do you want Caroline?”
“You know my name!” She lights up. Oh, I knew her name alright. I’d heard it countless times from the voices of men moaning or swearing their undying love. “I guess we’re not strangers anymore.”
“Listen Caroline.” I say as I slowly back away and close the door. “I’ve got this crazy flu that’s going around and even with this mask I really shouldn’t…
“Wait!” She slaps her hand on my door to stop me from shutting it. “I’ve got it too!” She points at me. “I just KNEW you had it.” She winks. “That’s why I didn’t bother with the mask. I mean, why else would someone be alone on Christmas? Right?”
“Why else indeed.”
“Exactly.” She nods, quite proud of her deduction. “I figured since we’re both orphans this Christmas that we could celebrate it together.”
“What?”
Her giggle is sweet enough to make my teeth hurt. “I’m inviting you over for Christmas dinner! I’ve got a chicken in the oven and I made some rolls and…”
“No.” I slam the door in her smiling face. Shaking my head I turn and start back toward my cold pizza. My mask was barely off when another knock comes to my door, this one not nearly so bold as the first. Rolling my eyes I turn around and answer again. “What?”
“Um.” She shifts from foot to foot nervously. Somehow she still had a smile. “I think there was some kind of misunderstanding.”
Another long sigh from me. “No Caroline. No misunderstanding.”
“I never thought that…maybe you don’t celebrate Christmas. That was so selfish of me to assume that. I’m sorry.” She says. “What do your people celebrate?”
“My people?”
“Um.” She squirms with rising discomfort. “I mean…you’re Chinese or…?”
“I’m an American you dumb bitch.”
“Oh.” She says, crestfallen.
“That side of my family’s been here for four generations. Four! Probably longer than yours.” I say, taking a perverse pleasure at how uncomfortable this was making her. “Red head? You must be Irish, yeah?”
“N-No.” She shakes her head. “I’m American too. I’m sorry Faye. I didn’t mean…”
“You didn’t think.” I cut her off. “Listen. The invitation was sweet and all but I don’t need your pity. I don’t want your food. I don’t want your company. I don’t want anybody. I don’t need anybody. Not anytime. But especially…not…on…CHRISTMAS!” Slam! Staring daggers through the closed door I mutter. “Stupid bitch.”
Again I turn and take a step. Again a knock on my door. This one quiet and tentative. I close my eyes and gather my patience then turn back and open the door a third time. This time Caroline stands with her hands clasped in front of her looking like she was on the verge of tears.
“Yes?”
“Um.” She whispers. “You might not need anybody…but I do.” Real fragility trembles through her words. “I’ve never…been alone on Christmas. I’ve never been away from my family. I talked to them on the computer but…it’s not the same as having someone there.”
My cold grinchy heart begins to warm…until I pour ice water on it again. “Why don’t you invite one of your boyfriends?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend right now.” She says. “Besides…I tried inviting someone and…” She looks down at herself. “…the flu scared them away.”
“Ha! They couldn’t stand the competition, huh?”
“Mmm.” She shakes her head.
“So I was your last choice. Nobody else left to call so you have to settle for me.”
“No! I mean…I didn’t even know you were home!” She huffs in frustration. “It’s always so quiet in here I can never tell. But when I saw your lights on…I just thought…” She takes breath and lets it out slowly. “Please? I don’t want be alone on Christmas Faye.”
Summoning my most derisive scowl I say. “And this is my problem, how?”
Her shoulders slump, her face falls, her head bows, and I swear even her antlers droop. “I guess it’s not.” She takes a long breath. “Um. Yeah. Sorry to bother you Faye.” She turns back toward her place. “And, hey, Merry Christmas or…whatever.”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
As she goes I hear a sniffle. I had broken that joyful, bright-eyed woman that had showed up at my door to so generously invite me over for dinner. She had reached out to another human in her moment of need in hopes of brightening both our lives, and I slapped her hand away with barely a thought. My own bitterness and gloomy snark had succeeded in bring her down to my level. My miserable level. And I felt absolutely wretched about it.
In the back of my mind I see a rainbow of tiny round lights and the twinkle of tinsel, I hear the crinkle of paper unwrapping and loud voices and even louder laughter. And I smell food. So much food. All shared around my parent’s long dining room table. Filtered through the haze of years apart all the arguments and politics and judgmental questions all melt away to leave just the warm gooey center of the holiday season. Fuck. I’d long since come to peace with the ruining my own holidays…but Caroline hadn’t done one damn thing to deserve what I’d just done. And I’d certainly done nothing to deserve her kindness.
The next thing I knew I hear my own voice call to her. “Hey.”
“Mmm?” Two big blue eyes peer back over her shoulder.
Yet another sigh. “Hey. I, erm, I didn’t mean to…ehh…you caught me at a bad time. This flu’s got me feeling not myself right now. Ya know?”
“I understand.” Before my eyes I watch despair brighten into hope. “So you’ll come?”
“I never said…”
She hurries back to me. “You don’t have to bring anything. I’ve got everything we need. Drinks, food, music, everything. Just an hour. It’ll be fun.” Her smile was back again.
“Uh boy.” I groan. “Yeah. Fine. I’ll come. But don’t expect me to sing any carols or anything.”
“I won’t!” She laughs. “Oh thank you!” Thumbing toward her door she says. “I better check on the potatoes. Come on over whenever you're ready, neighbor.”
“Yeah.” I give her an awkward thumbs up. “You bet!” The moment I close the door I am regretting everything.
***
A wave of Christmas tunes and succulent home cooked aromas washes over me as Caroline swings her door wide. Behind her the place was decked out in all manner of wreathes and garland and holiday kitsch. Beside her balcony door stood a full Christmas tree bedecked with decorations and multicolored lights. For a single woman with no kids it all seemed like a lot of effort. At the very top of the tree, instead of a standard star or angel, there clung one of those ‘elf on a shelf’ figures staring back at me with that signature impish grin.
The first words from Caroline’s mouth was. “Come in! Come in! I’m glad you could make it.” She spoke to me like I was an old friend or family. She then stuns me by leaning in for a hug but was away again before I could even gripe about it. “Make yourself at home. Wine?”
“Uh, sure.” Hesitantly I step through and close the door behind me. It was a bit surreal being in here. The layout of the place was identical to mine, just a mirror image of it, but with all the bright colors and cheery decor it couldn’t have been more different than my drab space. This place was just bursting with a joy for life. Ugh. Glancing over at a mirror she kept by the door I see myself with my jet black hair combed smooth except for the stubborn curls at the edges of my bangs that I just could not rid myself of no matter what I did. In my black shirt, black blazer, and snug black jeans I was a blot of ink in the center of this Christmas mosaic. The eye shadow and dark lipstick taking my accidental goth look completely over the top. It looked fine back in my washroom, but here? I looked more ready for a funeral than a festive meal. Ah well. This was who I was. I wriggle and try to adjust myself without making it too obvious. With the way my jeans pinched and constricted my tender new nuts I’d definitely made a mistake wearing denim. But as a lifelong tomboy I wasn’t exactly a skirt and dress kind of gal.
“White or blush?” She asks.
“Red?”
“Ummm.” She starts to look around.
“White is fine.” I say as I come to hover in her dining room area. Trying my best to remember how to be polite I offer. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
“Thank you!” She says like it was the highest of compliments as she brings me my glass of wine. With a gesture to her table and chairs she says. “Sit. Make yourself comfy. I’ve just got to put the finishing touches on the dinner.”
“Sure. You bet.” I sit and take a swig of my wine. It was cheap, it was sweet, but right now a bit of booze was just what the doctor ordered. “Sooo…” I tap the sides of my glass. “…what do you do Caroline?”
And so begins the next half an hour of her cooking while we chit chat. Most of the chits and all of the chats come from her end, but I was happy enough letting her fill the time so I didn’t have to. In that time I discover that she works as an administrative assistant at a big health insurance company, that she came from a small town a couple of hours away from the city, and that her family was one of those sickeningly wholesome ones that you’d see in those family oriented holiday movies. I barely knew my sister’s brats names but Caroline waxed on in detail about aunts and cousins and cousins’ friends and a whole web of family acquaintances. It couldn’t have been more obvious that she was pining to be amongst them this night by the warm way she spoke. Here she was stuck with me this Christmas. Poor girl.
One glass of wine turns into two and I find myself beginning to relax. Despite my innate pessimism it was hard not to be at ease with Caroline’s honest, open and welcoming personality. Though I kept looking for it I could find no sign of jaded sarcasm or disappointment at having to settle for my company in my neighbors words. She actually seemed to be what she appeared. Weird!
“Ah! Here I am just nattering on about myself.” She says with a slight slur already coming through. I couldn’t tell if she’d been hitting the wine before I showed up or if she was just a cheap drunk. Either way, between her slur and the cute blush that had risen across her nose and cheeks to highlight her natural freckles, I could tell she was feeling the effects. “Tell me about you!”
“Me?” I swirl my wine. “Nothing much to tell. I’m a paralegal and, uh, yeah…I just kinda do my thing.”
“Oh! Are you training to be lawyer or…?”
“Fuck no.”
“Oh.”
“My current job involves research, drafting documents, and filing and that’s fine by me.” I say. “No dealing with clients or judges or any of that shit. I do my thing and pass it on for others to deal with the people side of things. Just me and my quiet little desk in the archives. Couldn’t be happier.”
She pauses mashing the potatoes to look over at me. “Doesn’t it get…lonely?”
“Nah.” I wave the silly question away. “I’m better with my own company.”
“Well I’d get lonely I think. My office is so busy and I just love it. All that energy just buzzing around me.”
“Ugh. Sounds awful.”
She throws her head back and laughs. “Ha ha ha! To each their own I guess.”
“I guess.” I raise my glass. “To each their own.”
“To each their own!” She drains the rest of her glass in a gulp.
***
After regaling me with a few funny stories from her work place, funny to her at least, dinner was at last complete. “Dinner’s ready! Come and get it!”
“I’m sitting right here.” I chuckle despite myself.
“He he he!” She lifts the platter with the Instaworthy roast chicken and nearly bobbles it to the floor. “Whoops!”
I get up and hurry over to her. “Sit down you drunk.” I take the platter from her. “I’ll serve. It’s the least I can do for all this.”
She puts up the mildest of protests before giving in. “Thank you Faye.”
“Sit!”
“He he he!” She grabs the bottle of pink wine and scampers to the table.
With a humongous smile she watches me ferry the feast she’d prepared to the table. Roast chicken, stuffing, cranberry sauce, steamed green beans, mashed potatoes, the works. Way too much for just the two of us. Seeing such a traditional spread again after so long dredges up more honey coated nostalgia of Christmases past. Just add some roast pork and Grandma’s dumplings and this could have been a table from my childhood.
“You REALLY went overboard Caroline.” I say. Pouring us each a glass of the blush she just shrugs as if it was no big deal. I rub my hands together as I look over our spread. “Alright!”
As I go to plate she stops me. “Wait. We have to say Grace.”
“Are you serious? People still do that?”
“My family does. At Christmas at least.” She gazes at me with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“Fine. Yes. Whatever.” I say. “Go ahead.”
“Thank you!” Reaching through and around the plates of steaming food between us Caroline takes my hands and closes her eyes.
Not prepared for the hand holding part I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Seeing no other option I just sit quietly while I endure the antiquated ritual. After a few seconds where I’d assumed she’d been saying some silent prayer I realize she hadn’t even begun yet when she peeks a blue eye open and whispers. “I’m not usually the one to say Grace.”
“Just go already!”
“Right!” She nods and closes her eye. She squeezes my hands and rubs mine in hers. The skin of her fingers and palm was the softest I’d ever felt. “Bless this food, oh Lord, and let us hold you in our heart as we receive your bounty. Please watch over my family this Christmas whom I miss so dearly. Bring them happiness and togetherness on this holy day. Thank you, oh Lord, for giving us your only son to bring us salvation.” Her grip tightens. “And thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing my new friend Faye into my life when I needed her most. Watch over us and see us through this illness which keeps us away from our families this Christmas.” With a radiant smile she opens her eyes and gazes into mine. “Amen.”
“Uh, yeah. Amen…and shit.”
“Okay. Let’s eat!” She lets go of my hands and grabs my plate to start heaping on some taters and gravy. “Save some room for dessert. Would you do the honor of carving the bird?”
As I slice the chicken Caroline dishes out the rest of meal, first to my plate and then her own. I dole out a bit of white meat and a bit of dark to each of us then we commence to digging in. The food was amazing. Caroline was a damn fine cook. It beat the hell out of cold pizza that was for sure. We talk, we laugh, we drink and we eat. With this stranger I barely knew I enjoy the happiest Christmas dinner that I’d had in a very long time.
***
It wasn’t until we were onto to our apple pie dessert that the conversation at last turns to the one thing we had in common and the one thing that brought us together tonight. That one thing being our two ‘things’.
Staring down at her slice of pie as she teased at the flaky crust with her fork a now tipsy Caroline says. “So?”
“So?”
“So…” She giggles as her boozy blush brightens. “…did you…try it?”
Confused I look down at my pie. “I’m eating it right now.”
“No silly!” She titters. “Your…thing.”
“Thing?”
“Your dick!” She laughs. “Did you try it out yet?”
“Try it?”
“Did you…cum?”
I shake my head and chuckle. “Is this the same Christian girl that just prayed to baby Jesus?”
“Ha ha ha! Faye!”
“No. I didn’t ‘try’ it.” I say. “And neither should you. You saw what they said about the Man Flu and orgasms.”
“Huh?”
“On the news. Like…all over the news since last week.”
She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t really keep up with the news. It’s always so depressing.”
“You don’t…?” I let out an exasperated sigh. “Didn’t you look stuff up once you got it? Weren’t you curious?”
“No.” She giggles. “I had the shot. I’m safe.”
“Uh boy.” I groan. “Caroline. Listen. The scientists say that if you have an orgasm while you’ve got the flu you’re ten times more likely for it to set in permanently.”
“Permanently?” She shakes her head. “That doesn’t actually happen.”
“Are you kidding right now?” I say. “You haven’t seen all the stories about it? All those women who are changed forever? There’s even some stories coming out about women getting their vajayjays back but still keeping their badongadongs. You can’t fool around with this disease.”
“Those are just an urban myths.”
“Urban myths!? It was on CNN! It was on Fox! It was on the BBC!”
“Pffft!” She snickers and covers her face. “BBC? Ha ha ha!”
I roll my eyes at her juvenile humor. “I’m happy enough it came on my period week. At least I’ll get a break from that shit. I don’t need to be nutting all over the place.”
“Ha ha ha ha!”
“Listen Caroline.” I say more seriously. “If you know what’s good for you, just leave it alone. Okay?”
Slowly she lowers her hands and peeks out over her fingers with big guilty eyes. “Too late.”
“Oh geez.”
“What?” She says. “It’s my body. Why shouldn’t I? I mean…aren’t you even curious?”
“Well…” I mumble some incomprehensible answer, before setting down my fork and asking. “So how was it?”
Her blue eyes glimmering she shuffles her chair closer. “It…was…AWESOME!”
“Oh!”
“Ohhh Faye.” She swoons back in her chair. “It’s kinda the same but…totally different. I can’t even…It’s like…imagine saving up all your orgasms in a night and balling them up into one great big…explosion!”
I glance down at the bulge in my crotch. “It’s that good, huh?”
“Ohhh yes!” She laughs. “I came SO fast! And SO hard! He he he! I made such a mess. And when I was done…it just kinda went bleh.” She slumps over in her best impression of a flaccid penis.
“Bleh?” I guffaw.
“For a bit anyways.” She says. “Little guy was down for the count. I’ll have a lot more sympathy for guys after this, that’s for sure.”
“So yours is little?”
“Actually!” She says brightly. “It was pretty big! Bigger than almost all the ones I’ve been with at least. Over seven inches!”
“Pbbbst! You measured it?”
“Sure I did. I was curious.” She says unabashedly. “Aren’t you curious?”
“I mean, sure but…I don’t want to be stuck with the damn thing.”
“Come on. Live a little. It’s not going to bite.”
“Caroline. I just told you that…”
“Ahhh, don’t believe everything you see on the news.”
I look back down at myself. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or my sexy new friend’s encouragement but I was finding my curiosity ever growing. “I suppose the chances are still really slim.” I say more to myself than to her. “And it’s probably the only chance I’ll get to find out what the other half feels.”
“You should do it!” She pushes her pie to the side. “Seize the day! Seize the dick! I’ve got lube if you want it.”
“Woah!” I wave my hands. “We barely even know each other.”
Caroline looks at the leftover and dirty dishes between us. “We just shared Christmas. In my world that makes us practically family.” She leans in with a wicked twinkle in her eyes and whispers. “If you show me yours I’ll show you mine. Betcha mine’s bigger.”
“Pffft! You’re drunk.”
“Hardly.” She drains her glass and swallows. “Just wait until we hit the egg nog. He he he.”
“Uh boy.”
Caroline gets up, wobbles, then collects some dirty dishes to carry them back to the kitchen leaving me stunned and left to ponder her suggestion.
***
A few minutes later I am on her sofa with a fragrant rum laden glass of egg nog in my hand. Despite how many sets of data I went over in my head or how many dire new articles I thought back on none of it could convince to me to leave. Caroline’s ‘you only live once’ argument had won me over. And more importantly…it had been WAY too long since I’d had an intimate experience with another real, physically present partner. It smacked of desperation but I wanted to see where tonight was going to lead, even if I regretted it later.
As I watch my new bubbly new friend move about the room to light her gingerbread scented candles I start to appreciate her in ways I’d never allowed myself to do before with another woman. She was fucking hot. Drop dead fucking gorgeous actually. The type of woman I’d always looked upon with bitter envy, but was now learning to admire. As I ogled her I could hear her cries of ecstasy echoing through my memory. Was her? Her sexy body? Her friendly demeanor? Her kindness? Was it me? Did I have lesbian desires that were just now revealing themselves? Or was it this thing between my legs that was making me look at her in a whole new way? It certainly seemed interested enough judging by the way my denim was constricting me. Whatever the reason, right now I couldn’t care less.
“Before we get nasty.” She says with a tipsy titter. “I got you a present.” Scooping up a glossy blue and silver box from beneath her tree she carries it to me and sits beside me on the sofa. “Here.”
“What?” I look at it like it were something strange and alien. There on the tag was the name ‘Faye’ written in big bold letters. Taking it from her I look at her. “How? You didn’t even know I was coming.”
She scrunches her nose and whispers. “It was actually for my sister. Shhh.” She pats it. “I’ll get her something else.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I can’t. After all this…I can’t! I didn’t get you anything.”
“You accepted my invitation!” She says. “You kept me from spending Christmas alone. And that’s the best gift you ever could have gotten me.”
“Caroline!” I push at her shoulder. “You’re too much.”
“He he he! Open it!”
Smiling like an idiot I pull the ribbon open then tear the shiny paper away. “A camera?”
“An INSTANT camera.” She corrects me excitedly. “It prints the photos out right away. So you can show your friends or whatever.”
“Right. My friends.”
“Open it!” She says and takes a quick swig of her nog, then swipes the foamy mustache away with her tongue. “Give it a try.”
Together we open up the packaging and take a quick perusal of the instructions. Before long I had the camera out at arm’s length pointing back our way.
“Three, two, one.” I say. “Cheeeeese.”
As I say that she’s saying. “Merry Christmaaaas!”
We laugh as the flash blinds us. After a moment there is whir and a small three inch square photo comes sliding from the side of the camera. I tear it away and bring it close so we could see it. Her bright and shiny with long red hair, me pale and goth with short black locks, the pair of us couldn’t have been more different. What struck me most about the photo though…I actually looked happy. Must have been the nog.
We look at each other and laugh once more. “It’s like we’ve been best friends forever.” She says. “Can I have this one? To remember tonight?”
“Oh. Sure.” I pass it over.
She takes it in both hands and lays it carefully on the end table on her other side. Then, whipping back around to face me, she asks. “You want to go first?”
Again I laugh! I honestly can’t remember the last time I’d laughed this much not at someone else's expense. “Damn girl. You are horny.”
“I am!” She confesses with another sip of her rummy drink. “Booze always gets me loose. And this penis! Oh my God. It’s got a mind of its own and it’s ALWAYS thinking about sex.”
I nod at her. “You go first.”
“Faye!”
“Go ahead.” I prod. “You’re the one with experience. Show me how it’s done.”
She roll her eyes as if I was cajoling her against her will, though it was quite obvious she was more than happy to do it. “Okayyy.” She points at me. “But don’t you dare laugh.”
Sliding forward she reaches behind her and pulls down the zipper of her skirt enough to let it slide past her shapely hips. She shoots me a glance and a wink then lifts her ass and pushes the skirt down on off her long, perfect legs. Leaning back she gives me a look. Hidden poorly beneath her lacy white panties was a tucked together cock and balls. Unable to contain the bulge inside her undies there was a half a testicle already poking out. Lifting her hips she pulls down her panties to let the flaccid dick and balls slump free. Removing her underwear she lays back and stares down at herself as I gawk. Her pubes were shaved giving her junk a nice clean look. As dicks went…it was a nice one.
“Cool, huh?”
“Crazy.” I whisper. “Even though I’ve got one myself…it’s just so…different.”
“It gets bigger.”
I chuckle. “I know how dicks work.”
She giggles. “Your turn!”
“Right.” I look down at myself.
“Need help.”
“I got it.” I raise a hand.
Her eyes wide and rapt with interest she sits quietly and stares at my crotch. Feeling super self-conscious I unbuckle my belt then unbutton and pull down my fly. Not wishing to prolong the reveal I hook my thumbs into my both my jeans and my black boxer briefs and push down a couple of inches until my thick black pubes sprout into view. Damn it. I wish I’d trimmed them. But in fairness I had NO idea that there was going to be any kind of action in my future. Nothing to be done now. I whip the whole lot down to halfway down my thighs. Into the bright Christmas lights flops my day old cock and the accompanying tackle. For a moment we both just stare at it.
“Oh my God.” Caroline says as her eyes slowly widen. “Oh my God!”
“What?”
“Oh my God!”
“What!?”
“You’re so…thick!”
“I am?”
“OH MY GOD!”
“Stop saying that!”
“Sorry.” She laughs. Looking from mine to her and back to mine she says. “Can’t you tell?”
I look from one to the other. It was true, hers had more length but mine unquestionably beat hers in girth. “I haven’t seen that many dicks if I’m honest.”
“Holy moly.” She continues to ogle. “It’s huge! I’ve never seen a soft one that thick before.”
“Really?” I smirk, suddenly proud of my new peener. “It’s that big, huh?”
“Faye! You’re HUGE!” Her eyes snap up to meet mine. “We have to see how big it gets.”
“Pbbst!”
In a dead serious voice she says. “I’m getting the lube!” With that she is on her feet and running for her bedroom. I watch her sweet peach of an ass jiggle on her way there then thirst after her bouncing, swinging cock on the way back. A cock like that made me miss my pussy. She flops down beside me again with the bottle of lubricant in her hand.
“So how do we…?”
I hadn’t even gotten the question out when she suddenly swings a leg up and over mine. Straddling my thighs she sits down on top of me, her long dick slinking across and onto my stout hog. One smooth, sleek and slender, one fat, hairy and veiny, like the pair of us our dicks were an odd couple. Setting the bottle to the side for the time being Caroline moves her penis to the side to take hold of mine.
“Ohhhh.” I sigh as her soft hand wraps around my meat. “Holy shit that feels good.”
“Right?” She says softly as she slowly strokes my dick.
“Oh fuck.” I gasp. Instantly the appendage begins to physically swell with lust.
In a sort of cock addled trance Caroline just quietly stares and strokes. Forcing myself to concentrate I take hold of her already plump pecker and stroke her back. Before long our strokes are in time with each other. Together they grow and harden to the stimulation of our gentle handjobs. Feeling her shaft slide through my grip I began to appreciate just what seven inches meant. She was big. Bigger by an inch by any of the guys I’d ever been with. An inch might not sound like much but seeing it in the flesh and feeling it in my hand I understood that sometimes an inch could be a mile. Long, straight, with an elegant tapered glans. Fuck what a nice dick!
Caroline stops her stroking and brings her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God.”
My eyes follow hers down to my own rock hard erection. I wasn’t the religious type but…Jesus Christ! Shorter than hers by over an inch my penis absolutely dwarfed hers in thickness. It looked like a fucking beer can with a fat mushroom tip. I tense up and flex the thing, both her eyes and mine bug out as it surges to its beefy max.
She brings her other hand up, covering both mouth, nose and chin in both hands as her huge blue eyes bulged. “That thing would destroy me!” Her legs tremble around mine. “Ohhhh.”
“Yours ain’t so bad either.” I say with a squeeze. “Nice cock Caroline.”
Blinking and shaking her head she snaps out of her shock. “Woah.” Gently and with both hands she takes up my member again, just holding it and lightly massaging it. “Incredible.” Letting go as quickly as she grabbed it she snaps her fingers. “Ha ha!” Arching back toward the coffee table she grabs the instant camera.
“Hold on. I need a haircut.” I jest. “I’m camera shy!”
“Too bad.” She points the lens down at our dissimilar dicks.” “Move your hand away. Perfect.” She clicks the photo and sits up straight to watch the picture print out. Tearing it away she looks at it. “Now there’s a Christmas to remember.”
“We doin this or what?” I pinch her nipple through her sweater.
“OOOO!” She slaps my hand playfully. “So impatient all of sudden.”
The camera and photo are placed back on the table and soon we are back to stroking each other off. My hand slides along her long smooth shaft as hers pumps my fatty. We’d only gotten started but it already felt soooo fucking good.
I close my eyes as a wild surge of erotic desire rages through me. It was different than the feelings that normally swept over me. No more powerful, but different. The desire was more savage, more feral, more aggressive. And ALL of it was centered on my hard dick. I felt powerful. Invincible. Like a super hero or some shit. I wanted to howl at the moon and jump over a building then drive my cock straight through a brick wall. When men got that crazy intense look in their eyes during love making I suddenly had a better understanding of just what they were going through.
“Mmmm.” Caroline hums as her fingers dance along the sides of my shaft. “You want me to…jerk you off or…”
My eyes flash open and my burning gaze meets hers. She had that same fire burning her that blazed in me. For a moment time seems to stands still.
Sitting up I slide my hands up and under her fuzzy sweater to take a hard grip on her big tits. “I fucking want you!”
“OHHHH!” She moans. “Yesss!”
In an instant we are on each other. All at once our motions are hurried and frantic. She pulls her sweater off as I wriggle out of my blazer. She unhooks her lacy bra as I yank my shirt and sports bra up and off my body. Our hands run up and down each other’s bodies. Hers was the body of a nubile goddess compared my buxom squishiness. But comparisons and jealousy just didn’t matter anymore. In the heat of the moment they had no place. Suddenly nude we slam our naked flesh into each other. Kissing and groping and clawing at each other I wrestle her down down onto the sofa, our hard schlongs clashing off each other as we go. This was my first time making out with a girl but I already knew this would not be my last time. Her lips were softer and plumper, her skin supple and smoother, her breathy moans instantly responsive, and adding a pair of full, heaving breasts into the playground took it to a whole new level. She smelled good. She felt good. She WAS good. Once laying on the sofa I start turning her over only to find her already moving into position.
“You cool with anal?” I huff as I press her down into the cushions face down.
Turning her head to peer back at me she hisses. “Just fuck me! Fuck me now!” She tilts her butt in an unmistakable invitation to mount her.
Whap! I smack her sweet ass. “Yes Ma’am.”
I kneel on the sofa between her spread legs. Grabbing the lube I grease up turgid pole as Caroline spreads her ass wide. Insane with lust I lick my lips at the sight of her tight ball sack and perfect little anus. My cock lubed I slap a dollop into her asshole and give it a hard rub as my free hand flicks and pinches at one my breasts.
“MMMMM!” Her hands grip her fleshy ass cheeks as I let a finger slip through to the second knuckle. “Oh Faye! Take me!” Her voice drops to a low growl. “Destroy me!”
Normally I would have worried about splitting her ass with such a unit as mine but I could read in her motions and her sounds that she was no fair virgin when it came to back door action. Sweet wholesome Christian Caroline was a dirty, dirty girl. Fuck that was hot!
“Hope you’re ready babe.” I say as I guide my cock to her entrance. Grabbing my fat rod I push hard and watch in amazement as my thick, lubed tip opens her up to disappear inside. The knob through the rest was easy. “Merry fucking Christmas!” I grunt as I plow into her balls deep.
“OHHH FUUUUCK!” She screams louder and more passionately than I’d ever heard through our shared wall.
I might have been proud of that fact had I not been currently totally overwhelmed by the gripping pleasure of her hot, tight ass squeezing my dick. “Ohhhh fuuuuck!”
Her whole body bucks and trembles for a few seconds before a long, gutteral groan of anal ecstasy fills the air. “OOOAAHHHHHH!!!” Letting go of her cheeks she grabs a pillow, buries her face, and HOWLS. “MMMMMFFFFF!!!”
I plant my hands down onto her shoulder blades, mashing her deeper into the overstuffed cushions, and grind as deep as could get. “Sooo fucking tight!”
“So fucking biiiig!” She echoes. “OH GOD! You’re stretching meeee!”
My body moving on its own starts to thrust. “Mmf! Mmf! Mmmf!” I grunt on each hard ass clapping stroke. “Oh shit! Oh fuck! Ohhh fucking shit!”
“HNNGHH!” Biting down on her pillow Caroline whimpers in bliss as my massive cock turns her out.
Clap! Clap! Clap!
My hips drive into her round, jiggling ass, my balls bouncing off her gooch just above her pair.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
The thrusts start fast and steady and only quicken from there. A slave to the new swirling ecstasy rooted in my dick and balls and shooting like a rocket straight up into my brain stem I fuck her hard and raw.
“MMMMM!” She mewls in surrender. “YESSSS! FAYYEEE!”
“Fuck Caroline.” I groan. “You feel so fucking good. MMMMM!”
A pressure unfamiliar to me but one that I already understood begins to grow in and around my slapping balls. I pause to reposition, giving myself a needed reprieve, and slap my hands down into her cheeks and spread them extra wide then bear down into her to give the extra half inch she’d been missing then flex as hard as I could.
“NNNGH!” She shudders.
I run my hands up over her narrow waist then bring them back to grip her wide hips then start fucking her again.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
As Burl Ives played quietly in the background our own driving beat filled the air. I pour years of sexual frustration listening to her from my dark room into stuffing her ass.
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
“OHHH FAYEEEE! YOU’RE AMAZING! OHHHHHH!!!”
A beautiful woman beneath me taking my cock and singing my praises…I was in my glory! I had only fucked her for a couple more minutes when, annoyingly, that unshakable pressure was threatening again. Fuck! My orgasm was coming!
“Mmmf!” I snort and try to push the instinct back. To little effect. Despite already stretching her like nobody before me some some hidden, competitive facet of me had wanted to fuck Caroline longer and better than any man as well. But being new this whole dick thing that just wasn’t going to happen. Not on my first time at least. This shit just felt so fucking good! I smack her ass and give myself over to urge to plow her as fast and as hard as my out of shape ass could. It was only then at the peak of my rapture I notice her stupid horns swaying to my beat. She’d never taken them off! My tits bouncing, my tummy jiggling, I grunt. “Gonna cum.”
“YES! YES! YES!” She cries out with each anus reaming thrust. “Fuck me with your big cock! OHHHH YEEESSSS!”
Her cry of passion takes me right over the edge. Pulling out at the last possible second I stroke my cock and blast my hot, heavy load all across her perfect ass. “GNNNNNGHHH!” The pleasure is off the scale. My chances of complications just skyrocketed, but this nut alone made it all worthwhile. “HMMMMM!!!”
“Yesss.” She warbles as she shakes her gaping tush to spread my seed over her plump cheeks. “Ohhhh! Cum on meeee! Ohhhhhh!”
My nut bust I squeeze the last dribbles from my throbbing sex then thumb down on my butt. “Ohhhh wow!” I sigh. Reaching out I very gently swipe my fingers back and forth on a dry bit of her booty. “I could worship an ass like that. Holy fuck.”
“Mmmmm.” Caroline hums happily. “You just owned that ass baby. Ohhhh. I ain’t ever gonna get filled like that again.”
As she sort of floats there in her post anal bliss something catches my eye. With a devilish smirk I reach. Click. The flash of the camera lights up the the scene from her cum glazed ass right up her back to her goofy grin.
“Hey!” She laughs. “I wasn’t ready.”
Taking the photo I give it a look. “That one’s a keeper.” I put the camera back and add the picture to the other. “Ohhh Caroline! It was just like you said. That was…that was…ohhhh.” I fall back to flop down over the far arm of the couch. My wet, glistening, softening member slumping to a rest, as relaxed as the rest of me. “Oh wow.”
Caroline waggles her hot bum. “Geez. Wham, bam, thank you Ma’am? Not even gonna clean a girl off?”
I wink. “I ain’t no gentleman.”
She giggles and rolls over, not giving a damn about the mess she was leaving behind on her sofa. What she reveals is her own seven and half’er still stiff as a flagpole and raring to go.
“Oh!” My eyes widen.
Crawling onto me she grabs her woody to pry and flick it against my spent meat. “Wakey, wakey.” She teases. “Done already?”
“Give’er a minute!” I grab a nipple and give it a stiff pinch.
“OOO!”
Grabbing my tits she presses them together and gives one a long hard lick straight across the nipple. “I’ve never been with a woman before.”
“Me neither.”
“Mmmm.” She latches to my nipple and gives it a good, deep suckle. Sucking on it like only another woman could know how. She drives her tongue deep into the fatty flesh and rolls it in slow circles. Against my stomach her own firm titties press, against my dick her soft warm tummy, and over my thigh her stiff arousal flexes. She felt good. She felt so fucking good.
“Ohhhhhh.” I comb my fingers through her luscious red, curly hair, disposing of the ridiculous antlers in the process. Leaning into the I run my hands down the swoop of her soft back until my fingertips touch my mess smeared across her ass then I claw them back up her back and back into her hair again.
“Hmmm.” She sighs softly. She lets my nipple slip from her plump lips then kisses it tenderly. “This is a sin.” She whispers.
“Caroline…”
She smiles. “I think it’s my favorite sin of all.” With that switches to my other breast and swirls her tongue across my pert nip before sucking it in for another long suckle.
“Ohhhh.” I melt back and cradle her head against my teat. “You naughty girl.” My eyes drift up to the elf at the top of the tree, his knowing eyes watching all. “You naughty, naughty girl.”
She ends her suckle with another gentle kiss and cupping caress of her hand. Fuck did I like the way she touched me. Nothing clumsy or ham handed or overly aggressive. She touched me like she actually gave a shit about me. Whether it was genuine or not, I ate it up.
On the move again she crawls higher up my body. I already knew where this was going and I was here for it. I found most men insufferable buffoons but I did enjoy sucking a good cock. There was something so gratifying about having so much control and giving so much pleasure with just my mouth. I shift to make it easier. The moment her super hard cock slides through and past my cleavage I grab her dick at the base, open my mouth, then feed her through my parted lips.
“Mrrmmm.” I moan lustily as her dick fills my warm, sucking maw.
“Oh!” She peeps and grabs the back of my head. “Oh wow! That feels way better than my hand!”
“Mmmmm.” Slowly, passionately, deeply I suck her long hard cock. I glide down her shaft until my lips meet my fingers then suck hard and pull back right to the tip. On the next stroke I raise my index finger and go a bit further. I knew I could take a dick pretty deep, in fact I prided myself on it, but I’d never blown more than six inches before so I wanted to take this slow.
Overcome by sexual pleasure Caroline closes her eyes and tilts her head up to face the ceiling. Her hands resting on my head as it bobs forward and back I watch her body relax as the good feelings flow. What a beautiful woman. Her breasts weren’t quite as big as mine but their shape and the way her pink nipples sat slightly upturned was immaculate. Her face is worthy of a great work of art and her curly red locks cascading over her slender shoulders shone. A trim belly, toned legs, shapely arms, she was the total package. Sure the tits, face and ass were god given gifts but she’d clearly worked hard on her body to keep it looking so good. For once seeing such a physique didn’t evoke envy, but admiration. And getting to gaze upon such a paragon of feminine gorgeousness while sucking a nice big dick just made it that much more enjoyable.
“Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!” I grunt on each deep, quickening stroke. I was down to two fingers now, the tip starting to slip into my throat on the intake. I almost had her.
“Ohhhh Fayyeee.”
Slipping off of her I smooch and lick up and down her glorious inches then rub my face all over it. “You got such a beautiful cock baby. Mmmm. I fuckin love it.” I lick up the, flick at the hole, then gobble down the whole fucking thing in a go! “Glrch!”
“OHHH JESUS!” She warbles as her eyes snap open. “Ohhh fuck!”
I damn near retch. I damn fucking near toss the whole damn Christmas dinner. But I don’t. Struggling mightily but holding it together I reach around and grab her ass and root into harder, showing her that I could take every last sliver of her seven plus inches. She gazes down in a sort of awe. Then I blow her mind by blowing her whole cock in long, hard, fast strokes.
“Rrm! Rm! Rmm! Mmm!” I moan as her satisfying inches slide through my mouth and down my throat. I hadn’t been sure I could take her but now that I had I was ravenous for it! Five or six inches just wasn’t going feel the same after this. Again I found myself wishing for pussy back so I could try it there too. “RMM!”
“Oh! Ohh! Ohhh! Ohhhh!” Her trill voice rises on each cock gobbling bob of my head. I was no more than ten or twelve strokes in on deep throating and just finding my rhythm her when all of a sudden she starts quaking. “OHHHHH!”
Clumsily Caroline yanks her dripping tool all the way out leaving me gasping at the sudden extraction. The next thing I knew she had a hand full of my hair and had first sticky rope of jizz had blasted up across my face.
“Fuck!” Being held by my hair I cannot pull away so I clench my eyes and mouth closed and take her facial full force.
“Mmm! Mmmm! MMMMM!!!” Pumping her hot, copious, spunky nog all over my scrunched face Caroline absolutely smothers me in her holiday cheer. “Ohhhhhhh.” After what felt like the whole 12 days of Christmas her trembling, shuddering, hard cumming orgasm finally comes to an end. “Now I get why guys are always after head. Ohhhh wowww.”
“Mrrmm.” I scowl as I wipe the frosting from my eyes. I push the covering my pursed lips away with my tongue which only ends up coating it in her salty semen. “Ugh!” My face twists as I quip sarcastically. “So glad you enjoyed it.”
“He he he he!” Giggling and jiggling in a way that even my black, shriveled heart found adorable she looks down on me. “Look at you!”
“Damn girl. And I thought I was quick!” With a sneering snort I give her drooping dong a flick of my finger. “First round KO.”
“Ha ha ha ha!” She lets out a good old fashioned belly laugh. “That’s not fair! You were too good!” She pats my head like I were a puppy. “Good girl.”
“You fucking bitch.” I chuckle and start looking around for something to clean myself with. Her fresh gooey load was running down my face to drip from my nose and chin and spatter down over my tits.
“Wait!” She cries as I reach for a nearby stack of red napkins. Caroline snatches up the camera once more and points it down at my cream coated mug, being sure to include her dick and my tits in the frame as well.
“No fucking way!” I protest.
“Pleeeease.” She pleads while batting her big blue peepers.
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Fuck it. Go ahead then.” With a rebellious grin I open my mouth, stick out my tongue, and shoot the lens a double middle finger. “Ahhh!” The flash goes off to record my facial for posterity. As she excitedly watches the photo print out the side I again reach for the napkins.
“Hold on.” She says. “Just a second.”
“Huh?”
The moment the picture was done printing she dives down onto me to kiss me square on the lips! Off to my right she holds the camera at arms length. Our lips locked and both of us looking that way the flash goes off once more. The picture taken Caroline puts down the camera and grabs my head to kiss me deeply and passionately. For a second I tense but soon melt into the luscious smooch.
“Mmmmm.” We moan as one as our tongues dance.
Her lips were so soft against mine. Her hair so silky draping down over my neck and shoulders. Her breasts so supple as they meld into mine. Her flesh so warm against my skin. Her balls scrotum so velvety rubbing into my balls. Her cock almost seeming to curl around mine in a lover’s embrace of their own.
“Mmmmmm.” Our lips part as Caroline slides down my body. Nuzzling into my neck she coos happily. She slips her arms around my waist and cuddles me in the most tender way. Little smooches dot my chest. Needy pokes of her nose prod my neck. Soft caresses of her cheek brush my shoulder. Mewling, pleading whimpers reach my ears as she sought reciprocation. The sex had been amazing and most unexpected, but nothing could have prepared me for this intimate post-coital snuggle. Not quite knowing what else to do I wrap my arms around her. It was exactly what she was seeking. “Mmmmm.” She hums blissfully as she lets her body relax over mine.
Surrounded by glittering decorations and uplifting seasonal music I lay staring at the ceiling as Caroline basks in her warm fuzzy glow in my arms. I was unsure how to feel. This was wonderful. So wonderful. Better even than the love making. More than that. It awakened in me an awareness of just what I was missing in my life. Of just how much I NEEDED this simple, sensual, personal human contact. For her this was just another night with another lover. For me though? Fuck. Hearing her through that wall again was gonna be a fucking dagger through my heart. God damn it Faye. Why did you let you this happen?
I blink away the annoying tears before they could spill and before she could see the glimmer in my dark eyes. After a long breath I banish the grim emotions away and tighten my embrace. The pain could come later. For now I was going to treasure this magical gift with all my soul.
“Faye?” Caroline whispers.
“Yeah?”
“My bum feels happy.”
I laugh and shake my head at her silliness. “That’s good.”
“My heart feels happy too.” She looks up at seed smeared face. “I’m glad I got the flu this year.”
“Yeah.” I smile and tease one of her bangs from her forehead. “Me too. Me too.”
She beams back then nuzzles right back into my neck, making herself cozy for good long cuddle. “Yeah.”
Hugging her close I gently kiss the top of her curly red head. “Merry Christmas Caroline.”
“Mmm.” She hugs me back with all her strength. “Merry Christmas Faye.”
The End
Comments
Grimbous
Merry Christmas nope. ❤
Grimbous
Yes! I super enjoyed writing this pair. Love the image of the bright feminine gal and dark tomboy gal.
nope
Super cute story, even though I never really liked futa on futa it warmed my heart. Merry Christmas Grimbo!
Jason D Fluffer
I love these two❤️. The peppy bimbo and The moody bitch. A kinda cat and dog dynamic. I hope they are alone on valentine's day as well
