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A Simple Life: Chapter 146
🕑 Added 2024-05-30 18:32:28 +0000 UTCI don’t know why I was ever nervous about opening up to Grandpa about my gender confusion. Wrapped up in his hug I am reminded yet again of just how much he loved me and accepted me. Why did I ever doubt him? Why was I ever scared? Why had I waited so long? No matter. Now that I had gotten over that hurtle of fear and worry it felt SO GOOD to have this out in the open between us.
When the hug parts I sit back, still at Grandpa’s feet, and gaze up at him happily. “D-Did you ever s-suspect?”
“Suspect?”
“That I h-had some g-girl in me?”
“I hadn’t given it much thought. You were just you.” He says. “I remember your mom getting very upset a few times when you wouldn’t dress how she wanted or play how she thought you should. I didn’t see the big whoopty-doo. Let him shine, I’d say.” He holds out his near hand and I take it in both of mine. “Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I don’t think labels make anything better or easier. I think folks just ought to be who they are. They should let their soul shine through. It makes the world a brighter place around them.”
“I d-don’t think that’s old-fashioned Grandpa.” I giggle. “I think you’re g-groovy.”
“Oh yeah?” He ponders that a moment. “You sayin I’m still with it? That I can dig it? That I’m a hip dude for an old dude? Ha ha! Far out, man.”
I laugh harder and kiss his calloused hand before returning to my seat. We leave the unpleasantness from earlier behind us and sit for a time talking and sipping tea and just soaking in each other’s company. Grandpa tells a few stories that I’d heard at least dozen times before but I hang on his every word. After the relief of my tense confession and the love and support I received afterward I felt as light as hummingbird. Grandpa didn’t treat me any different than he had before I told him and that meant everything to me. With the hour getting late though Grandpa was fading fast.
After one last yawn he downs his drink and leans in to pat my knee. “This ol’ sea dog is turnin in.”
“Okay.” I say. “D-Do you need help?”
He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “No, my boy. I’m okay.”
“Okay.” As he rises so do I so that I could give him a good night hug and kiss to the cheek.
“I was proud of you tonight.” He pats my cheek. “Love you, Avery.”
“I love y-you too, Grandpa.” I smile. “Sleep well.”
After watching him shuffle toward his quarters I sit back to take a quiet moment for myself. As I ponder my own ‘coming out’, messy as it was since I wasn’t really standing all the way on either side of the door, it is brought home to me just how much trust Joshua had shown in me by being the first person beyond his therapist that he had come out to. The more I thought about it the more it touched me that he came to me of all people. Thinking about his super masculine friends and the way the rest of our family felt about such things perhaps I was the only safe person he could reach out to. It didn’t touch me any less though. I was so happy that I could be there for him when he needed me. I hoped that he felt as good as I did by letting his ‘soul shine through’.
After a bit I let out a little private giggle as I think about the burly beefcake that Joshua was. I could be wrong but I would put a serious bet on him being a top. He probably didn’t have a clue just how popular he could become among the right crowd once he came out all the way. He was a daddy bear in the making if I ever saw one. I had no doubt that he’d make some lucky guy very happy some day. Hmmm, I wonder what Eddie was up to nowadays?
Gah! Kayla was rubbing off on me! It wasn’t my place to play matchmaker. Although…if I happened to get them in the same place at the same time…maybe… No! Leave it be, Avery, leave it be. With Grandma looking down at me from her framed picture among the knick-knacks I could almost hear her, ‘Concentrate on your own love life you little meddler.’
“Yes Ma’am.” I titter then pull my phone and dial my soulmate.
“Sprout!” Winona answers after just a ring. “I was getting worried. I didn’t want to interrupt you and Mike but…I missed you!”
“I m-missed you too.” I am grinning from ear to ear. “How w-was your day?”
“Long. Tiring. Awesome.” She reports. “I love my job.”
“That’s great!” I could feel her joy in my own heart. “So S-Sandra’s happy?”
“Oh yeah. We’ve got two of her vans back on the road and as good as new. The third will be ready in the morning.” She says, her professional pride shining through her words. “We’ve got our first regular. And she’s gonna spread the word.”
“Speaking of that, I met with my b-brother.” I say. “He s-said he’ll come to you g-guys the next time he needed something he c-couldn’t handle. He’s g-gonna tell the other d-drivers too.”
“We’re talking Josh, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Well, cool.” She says. “You can go ahead and tell your other brother to fuck right off though. He’s not welcome up here. Ever.”
“Y-Yeah.” I say softly. “I know.”
I think about sharing what had happened earlier with Lauren and the police visit but right now I just wanted to enjoy a moment with my girlfriend before I went to bed. That crap could wait for later.
“Hey, Dad and Sandra were talking about you some more.”
“Oh no!” I was already blushing.
“It was SO cool watching him brag you up like you were his own.” She says. “He’s really taken a shine to you. I think Mom’s still a bit on the fence about you, but Pops is all in.” She laughs. “I think it’s because you’re so small and harmless.”
“Hey!” I say with joking indignity. “I c-can be v-vicious when I wanna be.”
“Ha ha ha ha! You’re like the human version of Brutus.” She jests. “Helps that you work for just tea and breakfast too.”
“He he he.”
“AHHH! I wish I could come see you!”
“Tomorrow.” I promise. “We’re still sh-shopping?”
“Hell yeah.” She says. “Everyone’s looking forward to it. When’s your shift tomorrow?”
“8:30 to 5.”
“Pick you up at 5 sharp?”
“Yeah. That’d be c-cool.” I take a breath. “Hey, y-you’ll never guess wh-what I did today?”
“I’m all ears.”
“I…k-kinda…told Grandpa about b-baby girl.”
“Oh yeah!?”
“Not the k-kinky stuff of c-course.”
“I would hope not! EEESH! I wanna be able to look him in the eyes again.”
I giggle. “I just t-t-told him I f-feel like a g-girl sometimes.”
“Go on, go on.”
“He was s-so cool about it! It doesn’t m-matter to h-him what I am. He was all s-supportive about sh-shopping and…stuff. He s-s-said I c-could show him Althea. He w-wants to meet her.”
“Awww!”
“He c-called me his p-pride and joy. He s-said I c-could never disappoint him.” I sniffle and wipe away some happy tears. “And he g-gave me a hug and s-said I’ll always be his B-Buttercup! He was so g-great.”
“Ohhh, Avery! You’re makin me tear up here!”
“He he he. Yeah. Me too.” I say. “He r-really is the b-best.”
We talk for the next hour about our days. I tell her about the work I’d started for Sandra, the bonding meeting with my brother, and about Grandpa’s scary coughing fit. She in turn regales me with detailed accounts of seals, struts and tie rod ends. I hadn’t a clue what she was talking about but I was more than happy to listen. After that we just…talk. About whatever strikes our fancy. And it is wonderful. By the end of the conversation I am laying on my side with my eyes closed in a sort of self hug, imagining that I was safe and warm in my girlfriend’s strong spooning embrace, as all of my attention clung to the voice coming through my phone.
“I miss you.” I whisper when it was clear our time was coming to an end. “I m-miss you so much.”
“Ohhh, Sprout.” She sighs. “I wish you were here in my arms. I wanna touch you, baby. I just want to…touch you. Hold you. See you. When you’re not here…it fuckin sucks. It like…hurts, ya know?”
“I know.” My smile grows as I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. That yearning, that need, that aching empty feeling as if a part of you had been torn away, it was the flip side of the joy we felt when we were together.
“You’re staying here tomorrow night.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a command. One I that had every intention of obeying. “Yes, Dommy.”
“Good boy.” She says softly. “Good night my lover.”
“I love you, Winona.”
“Oh!” She gasps. “Damn it!”
“Hm?”
“You made me cry after all!”
I smile. “I love youuuu!”
“Love you too, baby.”
