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Chapter 5
🕑 Added 2021-09-15 02:41:15 +0000 UTCI was thankful that I hadn’t slept for as long as I had originally wanted to. Prior to going to sleep, I would have been okay if I had slept the rest of the day, all night and well into the next morning. I think that was just the hangover talking though. When I had woken up about an hour after going to sleep, I felt a lot better and so much more refreshed. My head didn’t hurt anymore, I didn’t feel like I wanted to crawl into a cave for the rest of my life and I was thankful that the thought of drinking any alcohol didn’t make me cry. Waking up, I finally felt hungry and I wasn’t concerned that the moment I ate it, it would come back up.
After waking up, I changed into something that wasn’t my pajamas. I didn’t want to wear anything that said I was going to leave my apartment, because I definitely didn’t plan on it at the moment, but I wanted to be comfortable while not in pajamas. I was definitely more than comfortable in a nice pair of sweats and tank top. Leaving my room, I went straight to the kitchen to try to find something to eat. On my way to the kitchen, I saw Rosalie sitting in the living room sipping something from a cup while reading a magazine and listening to some calming music that could probably put me back to sleep. Rosalie always claimed that the music helped her relax but I was certain that it could put everyone to sleep. I doubted Rosalie actually listened to it and only had it one for background noise and kept her full focus on her magazines that she was always reading.
In the kitchen it hadn’t taken me long to realize I was feeling much lazy to eat something that involved a lot effort. There was still enough time before dinner, if it was a late dinner, to have a bowl of cereal and not feel guilty when I ate a late dinner. I opted to sit at the dining table and eat there instead of moving to where Rosalie was so that we could start talking. I knew we needed to talk, but I wanted to at least eat before I did. Unfortunately, Rosalie didn’t seem to think the same thing because as I started to eat, she walked in with her glass of what I later find out was my apply juice that she always claimed to not like but always drank it whenever I bought it, and she sat down across from me at the table. It only took a few more bites of my cereal before Rosalie couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“We are going to talk, right?” She asked, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. She really needed to stop sounding like that. I felt bad that I’m the one that made her sound that way, but at the same time, it was also her fault.
“Yeah.” I answered before taking another bite of my cereal. I hated to admit it, but I didn’t want to make this easy for Rosalie.
Now that I could think clearly and wasn’t worried about finding the next spot to collapse in to sleep, I was able to have a bit more focus on my anger at what Rosalie had done. I knew she was also drunk when it happened, so I wasn’t mad that she had talked me into getting married. I was mad that after she was sober, she didn’t want to get it annulled. I was hoping that since we had talked in our hotel room she had come to her senses, but a part of me knew that there was no way Rosalie wasn’t that stubborn.
Rosalie huffed in what I assumed was annoyance. She had this thing about us needing to talk when we were upset with each other. She was all about talking, when I was mad at her. When she was mad at me, she could be similar to me and would give the whole silent treatment. At least when I was mad at her, I just resorted to short answers or even went someplace that she wasn’t to avoid talking with her. Rosalie though, I swear she would purposefully be where I was and I could feel the silent glare she was sending at me; even when she wasn’t looking at me, I knew she was at least mentally glaring at me. Thankfully, neither of us got mad at each other that often and when we did, our anger didn’t last long with each other.
“I know that you want to get our marriage annulled.” Rosalie started, not bothering to tiptoe around the problem. When she was determined and when she wanted something, she went at it one hundred percent. I was at thankful that she wasn’t going to delay the inevitable any more than necessary, I wasn’t thankful that she was starting this while I was eating. “And you know that I don’t want to. So, I’ve come up with a deal that I’m sure will work for both of us.”
“There’s not much of a deal that could work if I don’t want to be married and you do.” I automatically remarked, much to her ire. I didn’t want to be rude, or even be difficult; she was my best friend after all. But my anger was still at the forefront of my mind and I didn’t think there was much Rosalie could offer that would make us both happy. Not when we wanted the opposite things.
“Just hear me out Bella.” Rosalie pleaded as she gripped her cup with both her hands. I stared at the cup, thinking that I had forgotten to get myself something to drink. She was drinking my juice, something she claimed she didn’t like, and thought how good my chances would be to steal a drink from her. As if reading my mind, she silently slid her cup to me to sip from as she started to talk again. “I have a proposition for you that I think will work for both of us. It can give us what we both want.”
“How?” I asked, as I slid her glass back to her. I was very skeptical and I didn’t bother hiding the skepticism from my voice. The roll of her eyes meant that she caught the skepticism in my voice and that she didn’t appreciate it.
“I will fully agree to the annulment.” Rosalie started off, catching my attention right away. There was no way she would agree to it without an ulterior plan. Rosalie Hale is not the kind of woman that changes her mind easily or quickly. “I will even help with any and all costs that it requires. I won’t fight anything.”
“But…” I said with narrowed eyes; not willing to allow myself to become happy at how easy she’s working with me until I hear everything she has to say. She did say this was a deal she wanted to work out with me, I was anxious to hear the part of the deal that would benefit her.
“But, I have a request before we start with the annulment process.” I was very thankful that I had just finished my last bite of food so that I wouldn’t choke from hearing what I was sure was information I wouldn’t like. “Time. I just want time.”
“Time for what?” I asked with a confused look. Time to find a lawyer to put an annulment and all the involved paperwork through? I was sure I could get on Google and find someone within an hour. If not less than an hour.
“I know you want to get the marriage annulled because you don’t want to be married. But, where is the harm in letting us stayed married for just a little bit?” I opened my mouth to list a slew of things that was wrong with staying married, but she held up her hand in request for me to keep quiet and let her talk. “I’m just saying; why not see what it would feel like for us to be married? If you think about it Bella, we practically already act like it.”
I took the moment she gave to think about it. What happened not five minutes ago with the juice was just one example. Rosalie and I are best friends. There are a lot of best friends that are very close; especially female best friends. It’s not unheard of. I didn’t think it was strange or really couplish, that Rosalie and I shared clothes. We were nearly the same size for everything, so of course we would share clothes. Sisters do the same thing, right? I know that Rosalie pays rent for me, she offered though, I didn’t ask. In return though, I cook most of our meals; and I also shop for food for those meals. I also do a lot of the cleaning. In return though, Rosalie works on my truck when it needs its oil change or it decides not to turn on again. But she really likes to work on vehicles; so that’s not really paying back for the cleaning. We both do a lot of things for each other but we do it because it’s what works for us. I wouldn’t think that we were a couple based off of what we were doing. It was just us.
“Well, lots of people who aren’t couples do what we do.” I said as I continued to think about the things we’ve done in the past.
“That’s true.” Rosalie conceded. “But, what I’m asking is that you allow me to treat you like my wife. I want to be able to cuddle with you while we watch TV in the evenings. I want to go out on dates with you and hold your hand whenever we walk together. I want to show you what it would be like to be my wife and after some time, if you truly can’t stand it or you just want to divorce because you never were a fan of marriage, I’ll agree to it and I’ll help the process go through as swiftly as possible. I just want to show you want you can have, of what I have to offer to you if you stayed with me as my wife.”
“Rose.” I said with a sympathetic look. She looked so hopeful and I was sad about what I was about to say. I really didn’t want to hurt her. “You know I don’t want to be married. And if I were to be married, it would have been to Edward.” I saw a flash of anger go through her eyes and I knew that I had just opened up another can of annoyance. She really didn’t like Edward. Whether that was because I was dating him or for something else, I really wasn’t sure.
“Bella, you only started going out with him because he kept asking you for nearly six months your senior of high school. Since you guys have started going out, you’ve only spent a handful of nights alone on a real date. In the three years you guys have been dating, I have spent more alone time with you than you have with your boyfriend. Doesn’t that tell you something?” She asked with her signature raised eyebrow.
I knew what she was saying was right, but I had never really thought about it before. It had never really crossed my mind before. I knew I had asked Edward to go out several times after we had started dating, but he was too busy trying to write a song. So I would always just go over to his house where I usually either ended up with Alice or Emmett, or more often than not, I would end up with Rosalie. Later in our relationship though, I stopped asking to go out with Edward and just hung out with him whenever we did group things together; which was often. Rosalie though, we had never gone a month without going out someplace together with just the two of us. I never had a problem with it because it was just friends hanging out; something I had done with Alice a few times as well. But I never did that with Alice as often as I had with Rosalie.
“Well, it works for us.” I defended as I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive manner.
“I can see it works Bella.” Rosalie said in a calming voice, obviously trying not to get me mad. “But a relationship shouldn’t just work. You should want to always be with him. You both should challenge each other, to make each better. You should want to be better for him. You shouldn’t be so complacent.”
“Okay Rose, I get it.” I said, cutting her off before she could list off anything else.
I hated to say it, yet again, but Rosalie was right. Again. I wasn’t about to tell her that, but it still annoyed me that she was. Edward and I were comfortable with each other. But that was it. We never really strived to get closer to each other. We barely snuggle or hold hands, much less kiss or anything else. I had tried to move things along, but he had always negated my moves. So eventually, I just gave up. The more Rosalie and I talked about it, the more it seemed that Edward and I were friends and that the real relationship I was in, was with Rosalie the whole time.
“I’m not saying that we need to start sleeping in the same bed right away.” Just from the way she said that made me think that she fully intended for us to eventually sleep in the same bed eventually. I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned that I wasn’t really put off by the thought of that. “All I’m saying is that I want you to give me a chance to treat you like you are my wife. I know that you know I would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. So, I’m just asking for a chance.”
She wasn’t just asking for a chance. Not at all. She was really asking for me to trust her. She was asking if I trusted her enough to give her a chance. I didn’t want to decide now; something like this should be given a lot of thought. But I had known Rosalie for so long that I couldn’t hesitate in trusting her. I also knew that what she was saying about me and Edward was true. I didn’t want it to be true. I was so sure that I loved him. But after thinking about little time I spent with just him and how little effort we both put into spending time with just each other, I couldn’t help but think if the two of us should really be together. I wasn’t entirely ready to end things with him just yet though; I wanted to talk with him before I made any rash decisions about our relationship. But that would mean I couldn’t give Rosalie an answer just yet.
“I have to talk with Edward.” I said with a little hesitancy. I wasn’t sure why I was nervous to give her my answer; it was like I didn’t want to disappoint her but it was only fair that I spoke with Edward first.
“I can respect that.” Rosalie said right away and the small smile she had told me that she expected I would say that. “You were going to see him today, right?”
“Um, yeah. I was going to try to.” I answered with slightly narrowed eyes. It never failed that I always followed her plans, even when I thought I could throw her off, she knew what I would do. She knew me so well that she could always predict what I would do; I wasn’t sure if I liked that or not. At the moment though, I knew I didn’t.
“Why don’t you go over to my parents’ house now and talk with Edward. After you talk with him, you can come home and we can talk again.” She suggested.
“You’re not going to demand me give you answer tonight?” I asked, surprised that she hadn’t done that. I hadn’t really wanted to think she would, but I did. I really thought that was where she was going when she asked if I was going to see Edward again today.
“I really want to Bella. You have no idea how much I want to.” Rosalie readily admitted. “But, that wouldn’t be fair to you. If I know my brother as well as I think I do, and based off of how he acted earlier, I think he’s going to say something stupid. I hope he doesn’t say anything to hurt you, but if he does, I want to be here to comfort you instead of being here to force you to make a choice about something that could wait a day or two while you deal with Edward.”
Is it bad that she made me internally coo at that? I knew that she was trying to lean me away from Edward and make me want to marry her… or stay married to her, either way she was doing a really good job. I loved that she wasn’t really pushing this on me. Well, she was, but she knew when to back off. She knew that I had bigger problems to deal with and that I couldn’t just focus on the fact that the two of us were married. If I wasn’t in a relationship with Edward, I was sure that her tactics of making me chance my mind would be different. I didn’t know how aggressive she would be, but I couldn’t be more thankful for Edward at the moment. He was giving me a chance to build up my defenses for when Rosalie said and did things like she just did. Unfortunately, she was right when she predicted Edward would probably say or do something to piss me off. I didn’t like that she was right, but my boyfriend wasn’t the most mature person around. I really didn’t know what to expect when I talked with him later.
“Thank you.” I said with a genuine smile. “So, I’m going to go call him and see if he’s free to talk.” I said as I left the table, happy to be able to get out of the conversation.
“Alright Bella. Let me know if you’ll be here for dinner. I was going to eat late, so if you’ll be here, let me know and I’ll make enough of whatever I make for both of us.” Rosalie offered as I left the kitchen.
“Okay.” I shouted back to her as I made my way to my room so that I could call Edward.
I ended up not calling Edward, but had actually texted with him. So, half an hour later, I was knocking on the front door of the Cullen’s house for someone to let me in. I was a bit shocked when it was Jasper that let me in and not Esme.
“I’m guessing you’re here for Edward?” Jasper asked as he waved me into the house with a warm smile.
“Yup. Where’s Esme? Normally it’s she who lets me in.” And she usually scolds me for knocking instead of just walking in. Their door was always unlocked as long as someone was awake inside the house. I had been close friends with the Cullen’s for so long that they just expected me to walk in their house but I always felt too rude to do so, so I always knocked and Esme always let me in.
“She and Carlisle went out for dinner with just the two of them.” Jasper answered.
I nearly hung my head in shame at hearing that bit of information. Even Carlisle and Esme, who had been married for decades, had date nights. I knew they had date nights, I was over at their house so often that I knew they did their best to have a date night at least once a month and they rarely missed it. How could they, people who have been married so long that there was nothing they didn’t know about each other and they each had full time careers, find time for date nights yet Edward and I couldn’t. That didn’t make sense.
“Is Edward in his room or in the music room?” I asked as I started towards the general direction of both places, ignoring Emmett’s and Alice’s shouts from the living room. They were probably playing some video game and Emmett was more than likely losing to Alice and not liking it. As much as I loved to watch him lose, mostly because he always destroyed me when I played him, I didn’t even veer from my path to tell them hi because I just wanted to get mine and Edwards conversation over with as soon as possible.
“He’s in his room.” Jasper answered as he veered towards the living room and I went to the stairs.
“Thank you Jasper.” I said before he was out of view. He nodded in response and I continued on towards Edward's room.
Within a few minutes, I was knocking on Edward's door. It was open and I knew he would be okay with just letting me in but he was brooding on his computer, going over different music sheets that I couldn’t begin to guess what kind of music was on it, and I didn’t want to intrude. He was expecting this conversation, but he didn’t seem to be looking forward to it. Then again, neither was I.
“Hey Edward.” I said as I leaned against his door frame.
“Hi Bella.” Edward greeted in a monotone voice that showed he wasn’t in a good mood. He pushed a few buttons on his computer before turning it off and turning his chair around to face me. “Are you here to tell me that you and Rosalie know the date of when this silly marriage will finally be annulled and over with?”
I couldn’t help but bristle at his question. I barely get a greeting and then the first thing he does is demand if the marriage was annulled? I get that he wants it over; heck, I want it over. But couldn’t he ask if my hangover was gone yet? Couldn’t he ask how I felt about the whole thing? He hadn’t once asked how I felt about the whole and I was incredibly annoyed by that. It was like he thought that I was okay with getting married and that I didn’t want to get it annulled.
“No Edward.” I said in a huff as I walked into the room to sit on his futon. “But I do want to talk to you about that.” I wanted him to understand a few things because his point of view on it seemed a bit skewed.
“Why do you need to talk to me about it?” He angrily asked. “I’m not that one that forced you to get married.”
I had to take a couple deep breaths before I responded to him. I had already gotten the story of what happened. If Edward didn’t remember everything himself, which something told me he did, he had plenty of time to get the full story from someone. But, I didn’t want to assume. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Again.
“In case you don’t remember Edward.” I said, not sounding as calm as I had wanted to. If I got angry too quickly in the conversation, we wouldn’t get anywhere. I didn’t want that. “You were actually the first one to try and marry me. Then since we were all drunk, Rosalie decided to act on her feelings and wanted me to marry her instead of you. She apparently has a better way with words than you do because she was able to convince me to marry her instead of you. But she did not force me to do anything. If anything, if you hadn’t had the stupid idea of us getting married, none of this would have happened.”
I wanted to yell at him. I so badly wanted to tell everything at him so that he could understand what I was saying. I could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t what I was saying. This conversation was going to go nowhere. I was getting frustrated the more I talk to him and Edward had started off frustrated. This was not going to end well.
“You still let her persuade you Bella.” Edward said and before he could continue talking, I had to interrupt him.
“I was drunk Edward!” I yelled, momentarily forgetting how well voices carry in this house. The door was still opened, so if we were too loud, the others downstairs would hear us and I didn’t want that. “You were the one that started it all. If anything, it’s your fault that I married Rosalie. I hadn’t even agreed to marry her until after Emmett had to take you back to the room because you getting too unruly.”
“I was only getting unruly because Rosalie shouldn’t have even suggested marrying you.” Edward said.
“No, Edward.” I said, fighting the urge to stand and start pacing. If I did that, things would escalate even more and I really didn’t want that to happen. “You shouldn’t have suggested I get married to you. You know I don’t want to get married. We’ve talked about it a lot. You knew better.”
“But Bella.” The condescending tone he used made me tense. I hated when he talked to me like that; like he knew what was best for and I didn’t. Like I was a little kid that he was taking care of. “Everyone woman wants to get married. I understand that perhaps you didn’t want to get married so soon after high school; but we’ve been going out for a few years. That’s a long time Bella.”
“And some couples never get married; some stay engaged or even never get engaged.” I argued, once again fighting the urge to start pacing. Pacing was just a step away from angrily leaving. I was trying my best not to do that. But it was really, really hard. “I happen to be one of those people that don’t want to get married.”
“Then why did you marry Rosalie.” Edward demanded. “If you’re one of those people, why did you do it?”
“I was drunk Edward.” I said, no longer able to stay sitting and not pace. We were going around in circles. I had to pace before I started yelling or saying something I would regret. Pacing would hopefully keep my anger from escalating. At least I really hoped it would. “It was basically either getting married to you or Rosalie and I guess I chose Rosalie.”
“You’re not gay Bella.” Edward said. The way he said the word ‘gay’ was like it was the most disgusting word he could have ever said. I didn’t want to be offended at how he said it, but I was. I hated to admit it, but I was mostly offended because since discovering Rosalie’s feelings for me, I could help but think of her as being gay. If she was gay and Edward was homophobic, which didn’t make since with how accepting his family was, I felt sorry for all the future grief Edward was sure to give Rosalie in the future.
“That’s really not the point of this conversation Edward.” I said with a roll of my eyes.
“Then what is the point of the conversation Bella?” Edward demanded. “Because I’m personally concerned that my girlfriend has suddenly turned gay. How do you think that would make me feel? Or even look?”
For the first time in my life, my mouth literally dropped open in shock. I couldn’t believe he had just said that. In reality though, I really should have expected it. Edward was always a bit self-obsessed. It’s just that he had never full out directed that at me. I mean that it’s never really affected me this much. I couldn’t help but feel hurt about how he was looking at this whole thing. It was like he was seeing this as a personal attack at him. He was only worried about how he looked. He didn’t care how I felt or how I was dealing with all of this. What happened was just a drunken mistake in Vegas; a mistake that he had actually instigated. He was basically mad at me for something he had set up. That wasn’t fair to me.
“What about how I feel Edward? I’m the one that’s unexpectedly married when I never wanted to be.” I said.
“Then you shouldn’t have done it.” He retorted, once again talking to me like I was child. He wasn’t even making sense. He keeps saying that he and I were going to get married, that I should have married him, yet I shouldn’t have let myself get married if I didn’t want to; but I should have still married him instead. That makes perfect sense.
“Haven’t we already been through this Edward? It’s like you’re not listening to me. You’re not understanding anything I’ve said.” I said as I started to pace again in an effort to calm down.
“I get what you’re saying Bella. You’re not accepting responsibility for your actions. It’s like you want to stay married to Rosalie.”
That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take Edward anymore. Listening to everything he was saying, I couldn’t believe that I had loved him. I couldn’t even believe that we had gotten along so well. How could I love someone that couldn’t even spare a little thought for how I felt? I didn’t want that. I couldn’t live with that. Perhaps after this was all settled and Edward finally realized how little fault I had and how much fault he had about starting the whole thing; perhaps I could see myself with him. But at the moment, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was done.
“Fine Edward. You’re right. I do want to stay married to Rosalie. In fact, she actually convinced me before I came over that we really are meant to be and I decided that I was just going to let the marriage stay intact. We’re not going to get in annulled.”
That definitely wasn’t the deal Rosalie had offered, but I felt that if I had told him what it was that Rosalie had actually tried to arrange, he wouldn’t get it. He didn’t want to look at anyone’s point of view except for his own. Because he wouldn’t think about anyone else, he would never understand the full situation.
“What are you saying?” Edward asked with a truly perplexed look on his face.
“What do you think I’m saying Edward?” I asked in a tone of voice that said I thought his question was stupid.
“It sounds like you’re breaking up with me.” He said, as if the idea of what was happening was truly impossible. “You wouldn’t do that.”
I really wanted to ask why he thought I wouldn’t. I really wanted to. But I was afraid that if I did, it would only open a lot of other issues that I was afraid would only make me more upset. I hadn’t really seen this side of Edward before, probably because he had always gotten his way in the past, and it hurt to see it. Rosalie was right like we both thought she would be and I didn’t like it.
“Well, apparently I would.” I said as I started to walk towards his door. “Goodbye Edward. I guess I’ll see you whenever I come to see your siblings.” I said, making it a bit clearer that I was upset with him.
He didn’t try to stop me. He didn’t move at all. He had stayed sitting in his chair the entire time we had talked. It was almost like he knew we were going to break up and he didn’t want to fight to stay together; like he was resigned to the fact that it was going to happen. It seemed that he was only worried about why, in his eyes, I had betrayed him.
Once again, as I walked through the house, I didn’t bother stopping in the living room to say hi or by to anyone. I wanted a big tub of ice cream and I wanted to eat while on my couch watching some random reality TV show that showed people that made me feel better about my life. I had managed to nearly get out of the house without seeing or talking to anyone else, but as I was about walk out of the front door, Alice’s voice caught my attention.
“I’m sorry sweetie.” Alice said from down the hall. She probably knew what happened because of her visions. I wondered how much she knew and how long she knew, but I knew that she would never tell. “I text Rose and she’ll have your favorite carton of ice cream waiting for you to pig out on.”
Of course she would. Rosalie was freaking perfect like that. Especially after she predicted it would happen.
“Thanks Alice.” I weakly said, not really sure that I was actually thankful for her texting Rosalie to have ice cream ready for me. I was sure that there was a reason she had text Rosalie and had told me she had texted Rosalie, but I didn’t really care at that moment. I didn’t want to deal with anything.
She didn’t say anything else before I closed the door. I was worried for a moment that she would have wanted to talk about it and I take after my father, Charlie, way too much to be okay with talking about my feelings to do that. Especially with Alice; the woman was all about feelings. I climbed into my truck and didn’t waste time driving away. I did however take my time in driving back to my apartment. I took the long way home. I didn’t know if I was looking forward to seeing Rosalie or if I just didn’t want to see her. If I had to be honest with myself, I would admit that I wanted to cuddle up with her on the couch while I ate my ice cream. But I didn’t want to be honest with myself, so I was going to ignore that.
