ErikaMoen
patreon
Not to be nasty, but I'm digging my stink
🕑 Added 2023-05-19 19:16:27 +0000 UTCI smell like sunblock and dirt and sweat.
Well, I smell like sunblock, except for those two patches over the bottoms of my shoulder blades, where my tiny t-rex arms can't reach. They're not sun-burnt yet, but they will be if I keep this up. "This", meaning "Biking to work in a sports bra and gardening in a halter top."
When I took this picture, I couldn't see the clouds. The raspberry stalks were glowing from the backlight and that's all I was trying to capture, but when I looked at the image I'd taken on my phone the glow was not evident and the clouds were, well, you can see them. I looked up but the sun was too bright, I still couldn't see them.
Blindly, I took a few more photos into the sun, just to be sure.
These are potatoes. (Well, the potatoes are underground.)
In the last five years, weed stopped getting me high. My psych thinks it's because of my brain meds and, y'know, it's fine. I only did it on the odd weekend and I can live without it, but... it did feel nice.
So I'm hunched over, pushing my fingers into a dirt bed in my garden yesterday evening as the sun is lighting up my veggies and raspberry canes, and I'm looking up at these illuminated leaves that are just radiating. They're glowing. And I'm glowing, too. From the inside, I mean. This warmth is surging through my body and I'm happy. I feel happy. I'm happy I'm alive. I'm happy to be alive right now, glowing from the inside along with the radiant green leaves that surround and tower over me.
I'm high, I realized. It's been a while, but I remember this feeling. I'm high and I haven't ingested anything to trigger this, my body produced this feeling all on its own, simply from the sun and the dirt and the green growing things surrounding me. Weed didn't make me feel good, it didn't insert happiness into me like a foreign substance. The drugs were a shortcut to that end result, that high, but really that happiness and pleasure already lives inside of me and just needs the right coaxing to come out. A little sun. A little dirt. Some plants. I'm there. I'm there. I'm happy in my garden.
You'll know me when you see me. I'm that girl in the cherry red halter top, crouching under the raspberry canes, smelling like sunblock and dirt and sweat.
Comments
Rachel Kelly
Love this. Thank you, very much ❤️
Rain DeGrey
This made me cry...in a good way. While grinning. A good crygrin. Then I went outside and touched grass, feeling the sun on my shoulders. Not too long tho...I am parchment white. Sunblock is definitely a necessity.
M Aidan
Those moments are so precious, even when they are fleeting ❤️ i hope your glow lasts all summer ❤️
Sharain
That was beautiful ❤️
Mandy Wright
Man, when the good brain chems hit *just right*...! Thank you for sharing this, it made my heart happy. I wish I could share a picture back! I found a flower on my snow peas today!!!
The Ferret
I've never experienced a drug high myself (health trubs) but I love knowing that just digging in the dirt covered in dirt and sunscreen can evoke that feeling.
Lars Gottlieb
There are few smells more sexy to me than just a little bit of fresh sweat. Nom ..
David Mansfield
I get that is very much not the point / too much on the point for the metaphor. But you can bring those raspberry canes up out of the dark. Edit those curves!
Hannah K
What a vibe!
Zena Darling
I love a good clean summer stink!
Zoltanina
That was a beautiful read. Thank you.
allanfranta
Working in the dirt is the best.
Kriss Lowrance
Interestingly, for a long time weed also didn't get me high? Or at least, the effect was mild-to-unnoticeable. It still doesn't hit me the way other people describe.
Karine Charlebois
YESSSSS this this this 100% the feeling of calm, presence, joy and happiness at the whole hand-in-dirt, growing things is incomparable. I have missed it so much last year and this is a reminder to me to keep going with mine. Your happiness at this is so contagious and I have to thank you for making me realise just how much I get out of gardening, myself. Your posts are motivating me to get that work done! I still have one garden box to fully weed out then I need to shovel compost and more dirt in them; I have started some seedlings indoors and I should be ready to plant them in June (we had frost two nights ago, still too early to plant). My rhubarb is doing gangbusters and I noticed I STILL have garlic bulbs in its shade, woohoo! I'm hoping my raspberries do well this year.
