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Chapter 74: Testing the New Party Members

🕑 Added 2024-12-06 19:47:26 +0000 UTC

Comments

Manpapper

She did not believe the Evil Spirits existed at all, but now there were 9 around him She did not believe the Evil Spirits existed at all, but now there were 9 around *her*

Rommel Sabido

Nice. Thank you for the holler on the mistakes, actually running a little fever, so a lot more mistakes than usual. lol.

Rommel Sabido

Aha. Thank you for pointing it out!

Maxime Cusson

Julian called Juliet Ellie after she told him she was sketching armor waiting for him.

teehee15

"Some viewed them as extremists who sowed fear and chaos among ordinary citizens Some believe and agree with them." Missing a "." at "citizens(.) Some" “Boss.” Juliet glanced up at him as he sat down on the ground beside her, the vapor flowing from their lips extremely visible, “It’s getting a little cold, huh?” “Boss.” Juliet glanced up as Julian settled on the ground beside her. The vapor from their breaths was visible in the crisp night air. “It’s getting a little cold, huh?” Repeated paragraphs ^ Julian hummed as he glanced at Juliet, “Thank you, Ellie. And I also can’t wait to work on the armor you designed when we have the time.” Talking to Juliet, not Ellie. Finally, throughout this chapter, you change tenses without any real reason as to why, for example: "Back on Ceres-9, Julian and his temporary party members all use their time on Earth to either eat or workout." This is written in the present tense (Julian and party use, not used), whereas, the very next sentence, "But of course, Julian and Ellie also used the chance to…" is written in past tense. Putting my personal opinions aside on writing, whichever tense you decide to use should be consistent.


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