Achewood
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0046 - The Account, Pt. 5
🕑 Added 2024-01-12 18:00:06 +0000 UTCWelcome to a strip written entirely from under a quilt. It is going to be seventeen degrees Fahrenheit in Portland this weekend, and that is not something we do well here. (Add it to the list.) But I don't want to be some big font of grotty negativity. You know what Portland does really well? Drunk old barbers who want to talk about Viktor Frankl and also have an OnlyFans performer account. What's up, Mack, you make my terrible hair so good, how do you do it time after time, bud.
Comments
P Arbuthnot Walker
It served up an ASCII art picture of Philippe, and I used the domain as an email address for mailing lists. Simpler times.
Marc Harkness
This arc is bringing back PTSD from my days as a young graphic designer in a sweatshop "ad agency" back in the 90s. There was a corporate VP who intentionally styled himself as a Gordon Gecko, and three female account executives under him who were straight-up Tinas as depicted here. We had one dial-up AOL email account that was shared by an office of twenty-five people. (I'm getting the piss shivers just thinking about it now!)
toby x
It is tempting to think of Beef or Pat as the most hopeless characters, but it's actually T by a mile.
Nathan Hall
What could be more relatable than talking yourself into thinking what you feel like doing is what you need to do? I'm interested to see how T recovers.
Nicholas Williams
You been having some pretty good make-outs?
Traedran
I'm wondering if Lyle isn't pulling a fast one on Tre-Odor here to show him his future, as gaunt as the Buddha he begs under is fat. Téodor charged the items online and since this is his big break, I imagine he would go for faster shipping. I can't imagine the credit card company, working at the speed of conventional post, already had a letter waiting for him when his idiot's expenditures arrived. The missing factor is how long it has been since Philippe threatened to go to his room at the silliness of the expensive glasses, and how long it took the items to arrive. In a single day, Téodor has gone from showing off his new duds to Lyle, of all possible beings, and goes right to finding the envelope. Are we witnessing gin-fueled mischief as it is made?
Toilet Cobra
Is all goot over here in "I project my ego onto Vlad"-country, baby
Chris Onstad
Wow, was KACW my idea of a west-of-the-Rockies Achewood community radio station? Did you ever do anything with that server? I hope it at least served some anarchistic cookbook LaTex files until the FBI got wind
Cohen is a Ghost
reading the eviction notice and the "this wasn't a paid position and I'm closing the company" text simultaneously, one through each lens of the $500 fashion glasses
Travis O.
Why did I believe that everything said by someone who's dated Ray multiple times would be completely true and above board.
Matthew Harris
He's either referring to a preposition for expressing the relationship between a part and a whole, or OnlyFans.
Nicholas Williams
I relate to all the Achewood characters a little bit, but I shamefully relate to Teodor the most, so it wounds me deeply when he is just a feckless fucking idiot doing the world's stupidest shit all of the fucking time.
P Arbuthnot Walker
Do you remember jokingly suggesting that someone set up gopher.kacw.org, back in the day? I'm the guy that did it. Long since lapsed now though.
Oppido
The power of Diet Coke
Toilet Cobra
Tina is remarkably trim for someone who goes double garlic bread on her lunch hour. She's lost as much weight as Teodor seems to have gained
J Hardy Carroll
It's AI. Stop asking questions. If we can have a RayBot, we can make AI work for anything. It generates "buzz" man. "BUZZ."
Sedric And Charlie
would the AI be used to promote the menu or design the menu? Or both?
J Hardy Carroll
Predestination and entitlement are boomer hallmarks, so I see the connection. Many boomer Americans are descendants of the Huegenots, too. The Worst Generation.
John Robinson
Can you afford not to?
C C
It seems like a leap to push the current cultural climate provided by the influence of the boomers to the fundamental arguments of transubstantiation and the late 16th and 17th century French religious and political Protestant reforms. Yet I do agree with Mr. Carroll in that Tina should have pitched AI to that food truck lunch lord fellow.
C C
Tina!!
Chris Onstad
ah, ha ha. You refer to my barber's OnlyFans account. I wrote that paragraph a week ago and forgot about it.
Don Rowe
When Ramses Luther laments bright-eyed liars and titans of inner filth, this is who he's talking about
Linus Lee
Turnt out for pasta casserole...smdh
A. Hamster
Trading web development for lasagna feels like 2007 all over again, she could have sweetened the deal by offering to Six Sigma his business operations
Don Rowe
Los Del Rio -- "Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix) (Jonathan Wolff edit)"
J Hardy Carroll
Boomers are the flower of three centuries of Calvinism. The sooner they're dead the better. Never has a single generation been so self-absorbed while wreaking such damage
Chris Onstad
What’s an OF? At first I scanned the strip for a typo (my nightmare)
Chris Onstad
Not if T is making it for free
Chris Onstad
He’s a townie for sure. JVJL was just born there, made his money elsewhere
Chris Onstad
I ftp’d it to kimdotcom
Chris Onstad
This has legs. Is there a market? Can I afford to find out?
Chris Onstad
Portland. Any more and the police will find him
Chris Onstad
Nice callback to Charley and the Honda civic
Chris Onstad
Am frankly mixed on the use of cliffhangers, but they seem essential to serialized content. A cheap trick, or an essential one? Also, sometimes the joke just falls in the middle.
Chris Onstad
You blame boomers, but really it was the Calvinist Huguenots
chili sunrise
Next week’s recipe: chicken!
J Hardy Carroll
Well, that was fast. "Mobile-compliant website" is no longer sexy. She should have pitched AI instead. Also, the glass grandma dying room is gonna be a hot ticket in the coming years. The way boomers have fucked everything up, you'll be able to charge for that shit.
tossrock
Dem bones had it all (except rent money)
Anthony Thompson
Can be a lotta sodium in the diet cokes
Tom PM
Don't leave us hanging like this
Sedric And Charlie
This was already painful on its own and then I remembered T is robed in the $4,000 garments of a fool
Blue Delliquanti
this tina/teodor storyline is living up to everything i hoped it'd be
Jenn
Reading this arc HURTS
Omnithea
Pivot to video.
BootsMcGuffin
Please add name and location of referenced barber.
Oppido
I wouldn't be mad about a road trip buddy-comedy arc starring the Lunch Lord guy and the gossipy hot dog chef.
Linus Lee
We may need to taste Lunch Lord's lasagna. Maybe it's the garlic bread. How much is Diet Coke now?
Oppido
Powerful "Farmer Brown from Calvin & Hobbes" energy for our boy T.
Lionstooth
I don't know specifically why the phrasing of doing something "past the Seinfeld logo" is getting me, but: oh hee hee!
Ben Wissett
This is approaching Safdie Bros levels of anxiety-inducing. Poor Teodor.
Lionstooth
It would be approximately 17 times easier just to make the lasagna yourself
Caleb Gerard
goodness, this is like watching the slo-mo guys channel when they do ultra-slow impact, and the object and immovable force have just connected, and you know shit is going to crumple and shatter but you don't know how exactly it will play out. /the suspense/
Don Rowe
The strip has been ascii-arted onto all the top universities' gopher servers as well as BBSs in all major area codes
Guilherme Töws
Nice Pete would approve it, except for the mannequin part
Caleb Gerard
in freefall, almost.
Brian Sutton
Sharing this strip on Napster in the spirit of things.
Don Rowe
Lunch Lord has given me way more insight into the town in which its resident dirtiest dudes grew up in than any J. Vincent J. Lemoni lore. (Or is it that we're truly learning about the soul of J. Vincent J.?)
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Found by Google: "You can set up food orders on Instagram to give people a way to support your business. When someone taps the Order Food button on your Instagram profile or the Food Orders sticker in your Instagram story, they'll be directed to your partner's website to order food delivery or take-out from your business." I was not aware of this either.
Kriegsaffe No. 9
"A Special Glass Room For My Grandma To Die In" was a real good early Bull of Heaven song that sounds like listening to the scariest note of a horror song played for fifteen hours while suffocating in that very glass box.
Linus Lee
that is TOO much work for lasagna.
Joe
This guy's looking for any excuse to bring up the glass room for his grandma to die in. Which reminds me of a conceptual art piece I invented once: a storefront on in a major shopping area that's empty except for a mannequin in a chair with a shotgun pointed at its head. A curious shopper opens the door, pulling tight the string tied to the shotgun's trigger, which blows the mannequin's head off. Really makes you think.
Matthew Harris
The shoe is in the air.
Josh Egbert
I hope to one day have a glass box to die in.
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
An OF, you say.
Aaron J. Rushton
Goodness I missed the suspense and now that it’s back I’m spoiled to have a chance to complain about it.
