Achewood
patreon
Announcing My Debut Novel - Patreon One-Year Anniversary Surprise!
🕑 Added 2024-05-05 17:00:07 +0000 UTCFriends of the Library,
What happens when a time-traveling, Gilded Age robber baron accidentally strands himself in modern day Portland, Oregon? In this expansive and colorfully-peopled story, our subject demonstrates all the vicious instincts which won him his industrialist fortunes, but quickly comes up against forces of nature every bit as ancient, powerful, and irreconcilable. The question is simple as ever: "Who will win, and will the story be any fun?" So many novelists forget that second part.
I began my debut novel — working title, "The Send-Up" — in the wake of the Netflix project collapse, and have quietly brought it to shop-for-a-publisher status during the first year of your Patreon support. Yes, it is specifically and directly thanks to your membership here that I have been able to devote the enormous amount of time it takes to crafting this tale.
Clocking in at over 450 pages, I like to think that the spirits of Vonnegut, Wodehouse, and Toole are honored in its structured absurdity, love of language, and leery eye to the human animal.
Please enjoy these sample pages. I am currently in pursuit of a literary agent, so that I do not trade the manuscript for a handful of magical beans. Oh, and I thought it would be fun to lay it out on pictures of paper, to help augur it into physical being, so you have to deal with that.
Thank you everyone! This is an accomplishment for us all, as it is your literal patronage that not only gave me the time, but also the encouragement, to believe this could be done, and be enjoyed.
Comments
Action Ben
I'll buy one!
Mark North
Kudos
Ruxine
I want to see the smoke stain on the page where you first wrote about that plate of muffins, I'm sure it was coming out your ears as you described them. Very few authors pay much attention to food, and yet its description can be so compelling. I don't like clatterford, but I want to know him. I'm stoked about this book!
Laura
I will buy several copies so I can thrust greatness upon others
Amy Lewis
Congratulations -- based on the sample, I'm dying to read more. <3
Tommy Blacksox
This is really exciting. I've always liked your writing, and I've wondered what a long prose work would be like, if you had to keep up the verbosity in the face of mundanity for a whole novel. How do you get us to emotionally invest in the Monopoly guy?
Funkulus
I need to read all of this
Doctor Link
Good for them to have a little walkin’ around money, in any case.
Thea
Yeah, that was kinda gross to come across in the sample, I'd also suggest dropping it.
Shawn Warren
I enjoyed this and I hope it gets published so I can read the rest
Cf Duddy
Incredible, bring on the pages!
Ryan Boyle
In the context of this Patreon, I can't help but read this as a dramatized meeting of Cornelius and Teodor. Please take that as a compliment. This is going to be great.
Ben Westcott
Congratulations Onstad, very excited to read it
b.zap
AcheWodeHouse
Don Rowe
Oh HELL yes
Datura
This is making me think that there could be a golden future in combining your proclivities to produce the first ever line of drinkable books. The future is now
Datura
Books?! I can't drink this!!
Nicholas Williams
I think the author would prefer that to a mound of humid $1s.
Brian Pritchett
Putting a crisp $20 away for this literary event
John Robinson
*Not much, in the grand scheme of things. But I'll talk to the people I can.
John Robinson
As a duly-compensated employee of our nation's finest ampersanded bookstore chain, I will do all that I can* to ensure this masterwork's carriage and distribution throughout the land.
balbert
I love this. Thank you for the sample. Good luck!!
Oppido
It's a Fuck Yes Sunday
Tom
I declare this here and now before all present and future witness, and you may relay this *verbatim* to any literary agents or assistant editors of major publishing houses you come across: This is delightful and I would pay anywhere between $17-23 for a finely bound hardcover of the remaining text, or $12-15 for a Kindle edition. Good luck with the manuscript shopping!
“Cool Mayonnaise” Hank Spurlock
Very stoked for you, big homie. Excited to check it out.
Tim from New Hampshire
Holy crap, I am feeling so anticipatory about this
Gregory Sheets
Well, I’m sold.
jakorcuppa
maybe this is my sign to upgrade tiers because this normally wouldnt be my kind of writing but i am so in
Jacquelyn R Walters
I'm sold!
Mike Farahbakhshian
I don't get it. Is Ray Smuckles a Robber Baron now? Does he do zees in the name of Bastille?
Ismini Roller
This is a dream come true - so excited to read the rest of this!
Doctor Link
I’m delighted this day has come. I have idly daydreamed about this day, in years gone by. “I wonder if Onstad will ever write that book” I’d think. “Maybe if I won the lottery I could pay him to do it.” And now here it is, and I haven’t even won the lottery! (Yay?)
Mrbimbin
This is better than I had even hoped!
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
This is delightful! Would you consider dispensing with the term "Oriental"?
Matt Springer
Very excited!!!!
Bungus Bronbo
I'm always down for any literary godchild of Vonnegut
Stavro
I've gone ahead and pre-ordered this. Just mailed a crisp $20 to Powell's Books with a note that said "you know what to do 😉"
Mackenzie Guillory
hell of literary
Joshua Nadas
Well done can’t wait to read
Michael Akey
Fantastic!
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
**Philip J Fry meme** TAKE MY MONEY
Clinton Hallahan
I’ve decided. I’ll buy it.
