Achewood
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0060 - Music Theory People
🕑 Added 2024-04-11 17:00:11 +0000 UTCOops! Posted this one a day early! My bad. Leaving it up.
(The blooper panels will still post Friday in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers, to still have something on that day, for everyone who likes a Friday treat.)
Music Theory People, even though ye here be lambasted (I always think music theory people consider themselves born in the wrong century, and really wish their underwear had lots of buttons up the sides), feel free to plug the song that Pat is listening to into your composition software, silence all the alarms and auto-corrects, and see how it sounds. If my calculations are right, it will sound like a room full of dentists, waiting to get their teeth cleaned (this will ultimately be deemed unnecessary) by a dentist. A perfect day, with perfect music. Or, it'll just be Lenore by Chick Corea, which is also great dentist-waitin' music.
Okay, okay. Look, I know that whether or not we get music theory, it's like physics – it makes sense as a way of operating within a particular space. And, like physics, it's kind of hard to get into, because schools teach us all the wrong things. Imagine if your neighbor kept bothering you by leaving his trash cans at the curb all week, but you both knew how to jam out on the bassoon, so you could just go into your yard and start tooting some bassoon notes that were accurate to your intentions, and pretty soon he'd come out with his bassoon, and you'd start jamming, and this would be an entrée to peaceful conflict resolution. School could have given us all this, if only they'd valued music theory over, say, the Boer Wars.
Comments
TheDoc-Worker
I don't worry about pentameter When I'm dropping panties off o' her All your weak-ass bars iambic Won't help you suck my hard dick Pat's a bitch, that's real shit *ASS-PAT!* Pat's a bitch, that's real shit *ASS-PAT!*
Ruxine
as someone who is listening to lenore by Chick Korea right now in order to know what she is talking about, I can verify this.
Ben Westcott
I am slayed!
Matt Mitchell
Tried a witty comeback but “I am slayed”
Matt Mitchell
As the kids say - “you had me in the first half, not gonna lie”. Haha
Don Rowe
This is a town where the Dudes are Dirty, and he's free again to remind everyone who's the most so
Matt Thurston
Listening to Lenore by Chick Korea sounds like a moderately spicier version of background music that might play in the menu system of a Nintendo Wii
Rockos Modern Satan
The need for trash can dispute resolution is why music was taught in the Quadrivium, but that knowledge was lost
Rex Mantooth
Hey man, lets not drag the Boers into this.
J Hardy Carroll
You should know I'm kidding by the fact that i named dropped Ornette. He's a long-time heavy favorite. As far as sorcery goes, I have to give it to Cecil Taylor. The dude demanded that his audiences practice their listening prior to seeing hum live, then delivered a mass out-of-body experience to the entire audience.
Nicholas Williams
I don't think this forum was intended as a place to argue about jazz but dogg Ornate Coleman is about as close as 20th century America got to having an actual sorcerer.
Aaron J. Rushton
Oh is it
J Hardy Carroll
I once heard a dog humping a theremin to the sound of somebody throwing a snare drum down a flight of steps followed by a couple of ride cymbals. It sounded like an Ornette Coleman record except there was some structure to it.
Nicholas Williams
I am slayed.
Nicholas Williams
I used to think this way but then I heard “Journey in Satchidananda” and realized that I was wrong. Good jazz is the window to the cosmos inside us all. Jazz will slay you, as Pat slew Ray i.e. pleasurably.
Jonathan
https://groundzone.bandcamp.com/album/consume-red (this piece is almost one hour long and it slaps)
Jonathan
Equal temperaments are an unholy abomination. I want my music based on fractions.
M. J.
Pat has made worms' meat of Ray.
Douglas Wykstra
At least 3 of the top 5 comments are people writing about playing music from their favorite video game soundtracks, as though that's something to be telling anyone absent a court order.
souvlaki Alabama
Pat plays “Form, Object, and Desire” by John Zorn when friends come over- for ambience.
juicehonky
As a music theory people AND an asshole, I'm happy to see Pat win this one
Nathan Hall
People mind me leaving my trash cans at the curb?
Cody Richmond
I’m cool with the Kiddie Pool of music theory. I may die ignorant.
Chris Onstad
Also, whenever I see your name on here I briefly think that you’re MySpace Tom
J Hardy Carroll
Jazz sounds like smart people farting in a library. This strip made me wish Little Nephew had walked in. Good to know that Pat keeps a scoreboard in his living room for when he breaks out poetry with rules.
Nicholas Williams
Pat fucks with that twelve tone shit.
Sebastian
this is the truest take - you learn the rules so you know how to effectively sidestep or break them with grace
Sebastian
if the party isn't microtonal I don't want to go
Ste & Danni JM
Ray really thought he could throw down with the guy who coined "spit-once-and-fuck Romeo"
Jonathan
Wait until you find out about Xenharmonic Music People
Benton Sartore
Ray, we JUST had a storyline about how Pat had a natural talent to smoke fools with his words. You gambled with sticking your hand into the embers and a fire stirred up.
Mark
WELL ACTUALLY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr3quGh7pJA
b.zap
Lyle dead asleep in his circle of fifths, newly emptied.
Zachary
What hashtag a key is in or what key a hashtag is in? Does the commutative property attach? Am I that bald now?
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Am shooketh at both Pat's heretofore hidden lyrical depths and the notion of communicating via bassoon.
Elyse
Never forget Pat can throw down language-style with the best of them, Ray.
C C
I thought for sure Ray was going to deeply injure himself when he busted that last move. He must be stretching or doing some kind of incredibly overpriced yoga.
Matt Mitchell
Also - a friend of mine studied w Steve Gadd (Lenore drummer) back in the 90s, and he played Gadd’s Lenore part for him in their lesson. Gadd asked him to play it again, then claimed to have no memory of having done it.
Hannah Flaherty
that's some rough scansion pat
Chris Onstad
I know man I’m sorry. I delayed the blooper panels until tomorrow so there’s still something
Chris Onstad
You and me both
Chris Onstad
What this man said
Chris Onstad
It’s a quantum signature, schrodinger’s flat
Chris Onstad
It would have 475 more words
Tom PM
I don't get it, but it seems funny. Is this the XKCD patreon?
Matt Mitchell
Also a key signature with TWO f-flats and one of them having a natural sign before it! That’s way out.
Bungus Bronbo
Hell of interesting explanation, I appreciate this
Nicholas Vining
Okay, busting out Chick Corea now.
John Krane
I actually really needed this today, thx
Matt Mitchell
As a professional avant garde jazz musician (seriously), w two long-ago degrees and who tested out of most of his music theory requirements, I find this deeply hilarious. And color me impressed re the Lenore reference.
Bungus Bronbo
This fucked up next week because now I gotta go eight days without achewood but it's cool beyond that
Marc Harkness
Spitting Iambic pentameter beats limerick anytime.
David Kettler
the problem is that the chunkity nerds got their hands on the music theory. you better believe miles davis and john coltrane and our good friend Nightlife Mingus knew their shit. music theory is just grammar lessons. it's meant to help you analyze music, but is only somewhat useful for writing it. if someone came to you hyping how they're a grammar expert, you know their poems are about to be trash
Matthew Harris
What am I supposed to look forward to Friday for now
Alex Woods
Pat is listening to a Morton Feldman record
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
You have said the actual truth
Shawn Warren
You made me panic about what day it is!
Chris Onstad
WHOOPS set this one to post a day too early. Leaving it up. Hopefully this doesn’t fuck your week too hard everybody
EndgamerAzari
Great to see the (good kind of) fire back in Pat's belly
Bungus Bronbo
well it took 23 years but ray finally learned a second dance move
Josh Egbert
I wasn't aware of Prince's origin story but that makes a lot of sense to me
