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Ray Invites Celebrity Chef Jerry Ontario to Recreate McDonald's at Home
🕑 Added 2024-05-08 18:59:58 +0000 UTCIn the following illustrated account, Ray hires San Francisco celebrity chef Jerry Ontario of RESTAURANT 10-SION to recreate McDonald’s food in his home. Unfortunately, the entire thing threatens to collapse when Beef shows up and starts making a fuss over an upsettingly authentic ingredient, which insults Ray’s temperamental guest.
A version of this story originally ran on Assetbar October 28, 2009. It has been greatly improved and reformatted for use in an unrecognizably advanced technological landscape (png instead of gif).
Comments
Chris Onstad
Thank you! That Jerry Ontario is a real asshole.
Vincent Verweij
This story has lived in my mind since it was first posted, and one of the most memorable ones you wrote back then. I was never able to synthesize it to friends, and it's hard to make someone read something Of Length without giving an idea of the flavor.
Ted Frushour
Can't believe I forgot about the Krebel sac for 15 years oh my it's been a while
Chris Onstad
It shall never cease to amaze me when somebody remembers a bit about cats making burgers at home fifteen years later, but I accept this as the highest currency of my profession.
Nicholas Williams
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO REEMERGE FOR LONGER THAN THE GODDAMN CICADAS HAVE WAITED TO COME BACK TO LIFE GOL DANG IT
C C
That would be a great way to learn the word. A friend of mine went looking for morels this weekend and even though we have had good rain and things were damp and cool he found nothing, and he has some really good spots to hunt. I was disappointed.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Think of Morchella esculenta - the prized yellow morel. That's how I learned the word - in a wild mushroom foraging class.
C C
"Esculent" I like to think I've heard most words before, especially when it come to food. Here you are giving me Esculent, I admit I felt kind of guilty googling that word, sort of like I should have known it. I need to spend more time looking at late 19th century hotel menus.
Andy Nemeth
I had completely forgotten about the Krebel sac. Thank you but also no thank you, in a way.
Shepton
Ah man tell me the Krebel sac ain't a real thing. EDIT: Okay good Google seems to suggest it is a fiction but I'm gonna stop my research there before I find out the actual specific disgusting thing that kills McDonald's for me (DON'T TELL ME ALL THE THINGS, I know there are so many but ignorance means I get to keep thinking McDonald's is tasty)
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
$10.78 for two #1s? My how times have changed. I find myself once again sympathizing most with Roast Beef in this situation. Call me Miss Fussy I guess.
Funkulus
"A mad small time of dudes". Every single damn offering is a gift of poetry!
