Achewood
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0065 — Fuck You Friday, Craigslist edition
🕑 Added 2024-05-17 17:00:10 +0000 UTCAs usual, bloopers strip at noon in In-Universe/Author's Tiers, etc.
These last twelve months, in the course of moving out of one house, and into another, and thoroughly restoring both in the process, I have become compoundingly familiar with the Craigslist Experience. From maddening land-chuds who can't keep an appointment, to pleasant backyard conversations with the culturally kindred who would be friends — [if not for...well, why not? But, not.] — I consider the turf of the gamut well-pounded.
I've been the clueless asshole selling something that wasn't ready for sale, or lacked parts. I have been the purple-faced basket case, waiting for a buyer who wasted reams of biographical time, who never showed, or who bargained their way right off of my property empty-handed.
When the Craigslist exchanges go well, I am buoyed by the goodness and cooperation of mankind. When they go poorly, I am Pat, looking into the mirror of my own malignant coping defects. I once spent a month doing pleasant little meditations, and am now long overdue to once again ground my feet against the earth, breathe with measured deliberation, and hear the space between the rustle of the trees on high and the swishel of the grass down low.
Comments
Patrick B
Is the SC for "Supper Chunks"?
Michael G.
I feel like this is a fellow traveler of "the garage sale". A bit older, and if not wiser, less perturbed by the tawdry nature of commerce at these depths.
2scrogz
Ray struggling to come to terms with the fact that he does not know what an oboe is even supposed to look like - yet is attempting to purchase one - is my favorite storyline of this FYFCE.
Amit Katz
Facebook marketplace is basically the same.
Tom
First time I looked at this comic, ho ho ooh ho Raymond some fellow is trying to pass off a clarinet on you! But then I look again, I wonder, I glance over https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oboe ...Raymond I think YOU are the fellow
Mae
Oboe man is right
Corrine Bredin
I went down this same path and ended up in the same place. In my heart I suspect it may be a clarinet, but even if I were in the room watching this transaction go down, I would not be confident enough to voice this suspicion aloud.
Cody Richmond
… were you?
Johnny Deans
“Would you be willing to trade for some peacocks?” (True story.)
Lionstooth
tbh I haven't watched it, though I think I still own it as a Curiosity
Daniel Grieff
So shim-verb is a gateway effect?
Daniel Grieff
They now rest easy with the reassurance that it is, still, available. You’ve provided a crumb of comfort to 15 people in these troubled times.
Daniel Grieff
“Can you deliver?”
Daniel Grieff
Gah! I hate trucks even more than the baby otter does.
GruntyGinMan
How was it?
GruntyGinMan
Well
C C
I have not used Craigslist for many years now. My last attempt to sell a TV stand, still in it's unopened flat pack packaging for $40.00 (retail at the time was almost $150.00) resulted in an attempted robbery. His wife, I assume, was in the passenger seat of the late model Dodge Caravan nursing a child at the same time. He had expired temporary tags and never displayed a weapon. Even though he implied he would "fucking kill me" I declined his invitation to be robbed, got back in my truck and left. He seemed a bit crestfallen as I looked in my rearview mirror but honestly, you can't pull off this sort of strongarm robbery if you are wearing way too large basketball shorts and a very dirty white Pizza Hut t shirt with the sleeves cut unevenly to resemble a muscle tee and your backup is suckling your child.
Matt Mitchell
Oh yeah, no way is LN taking band, and if he was, there’s no way it would be oboe. I don’t see him making and sharpening his own oboe reeds. I could imagine him having some secret Garageband or Logic or Ableton chops though.
C C
I thought about this too and I think that your first assumption was probably the correct one. Still I think Ray has surprised us all from time to time, maybe he really is trying to expand his understanding of the woodwind instruments.. It's probably too late for LN to be taking band class or anything like that.
Brian Dagame
I'm still not sure if it is actually an oboe, even after googling images of oboes and at this point I am afraid to ask if Ray if right to question this man or not...
Matt Mitchell
My take on Ray and the oboe is that he either was simply *really extra high* and ordered one, or he is chastened-and-now-curious about music theory and has somehow “learned about oboes” and bought one in some kind of extremely over-corrective move after reading how crazy hard they are to play well. He also could have been extremely high in this latter scenario.
Lionstooth
oh, since we're telling our own Craigslist stories, I once hired a guy with a truck to help me move, which went well except for the part where he strongarmed me into accepting a homemade DVD of his "documentary" on chemtrails
GruntyGinMan
It's a GREAT idea and I suspect that it usually does a pretty good job of deterring bad actors. I'm always surprised when I hear other places don't have it. I'm not exactly a thin blue line guy, but there's a lot of utility in that for Internet swap meet sales IMO.
souvlaki Alabama
I once went to an interview for a job at a funeral home, found through a post on Craigslist, but didn’t get hired. I also lived with people I met through roommate listings on the site, which of course didn’t work out but the parties were great.
Douglas Wykstra
Your local police station has a designated internet sales spot? That's actually a pretty useful-sounding service!
Douglas Wykstra
I guess he figured that since you had some idea of what the worship band's guitar tone would be, you had some questions answered that make people reluctant to initially try a new church.
Douglas Wykstra
The corollary to this, of course, is that the item has to basically look and work how it was promised in the Craigslist ad. If the bookshelf you're buying has a huge scratch along one side that was not apparent from the pictures provided and the text doesn't mention it or has a vague phrase like "some wear and tear," then some price adjustment is an appropriate ask.
Ian Stewart
Conversely, it feels like Pat's admission that his misanthropy is in fact hobbling represents a big breakthrough for our guy. And it barely needs to be said that "piscine sirocco off a frothing airport urinal" is an all-timer. Thoughts about what team the "SC" on the rotund fellow's baseball jersey might represent?
Cody Richmond
Learned long ago that if you’re selling something too big to fit in the passenger seat of a Corolla, you’d better be prepared for the buyer to show up with too little cash and riding on a razor scooter.
Cody Richmond
Some of those graphics could be interpreted as a heathen’s cry for salvation
Eli Parker
Recently sold a car on Craigslist and what I learned is that no matter what price you charge for a car, and no matter how explicit you are about the car's problems and history, people are going to try to get you to shave off exactly five hundred dollars. I lowered the price a few times, and every time they asked specifically to pay five hundred dollars less than the listed price. If you want to sell a car, make sure that you list it for five hundred dollars more than you intend to receive.
Nicholas Williams
I don't think you can ever be too sure about an oboe.
GruntyGinMan
As I'm sitting here thinking about it, my FLGS seasonal swap meets aren't bad either. I don't know what's up with craigslist/facebook marketplace though.
GruntyGinMan
It remains utterly bizarre to me that the only easy, decent, Craigslist style sales I've been involved with are gun ones, probably because of the insistence on a C&R license. Like legit I tried to offload an old CPU and have the swap in a police station parking lot and the dude just randomly lost his mind. For some reason it didn't occur to him "the Herndon police station internet sales spot" was at a police station, until he arrived and got irritated that I wouldn't budge from the agreed upon price. Helped my brother pick up some Yamaha speakers from a craigslist seller and the seller's kid just started chucking rocks at my car while the seller is just staring vacantly like he's gawping at a down-sump party. Oddly the buy-nothing sale nothing experiences have been great!
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
There are both sunset orange and harvest orange varieties. The brown one is almost certainly from the 70s because I recall a babysitter of mine in 1979 having a brown one.
Pete
Yes and I told the toddler Fuck You
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Am an ex-high school band nerd. Single and double reeds. You know what though, I think of klezmer music when I read "rowdy clarinet." An oboe could never.
GruntyGinMan
do people even use Craig's list anymore? it is a mystery
GruntyGinMan
was it on a Friday tho
s b
how can you tell it’s not a rowdy clarinet?
s b
was in a play once which had the line “I wanted to make love to her in the worst way… standing up in a hammock”
Jonathan
I am guilty of foisting it on someone in person. Saved me several hundred $ though. 🤷♂️
J Hardy Carroll
Pretty sure the last panel advice can apply to every single purchase I ever made, on or off Craigslist.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
I've been witness to some amusing but also scary Craigslist shenanigans. I refuse to participate on the grounds that I do not want to commit battery. I know myself. They do not. Also, that is absolutely an oboe.
Brody
I once posted a wanted ad on Craigslist for a hammock and hammock-stand, and a dude wrote me back and said he'd buy me a brand new one if I'd have sex with him in it. I'm not sure he's ever tried to have sex in a hammock, but I wasn't about to enlighten him.
b.zap
Did you like the therapy (check one) [ ] Yes [ ] No
Jeff Holt
😂😂
kdusjjdhxksj
He threw it out the car window into a creek on his way to buy an unneeded soft case and, perhaps, save a soul
Ben Wissett
Oh, no, thank you! I'm just going to sit on my sofa instead
Tim from New Hampshire
I'm having this exact level of irritation right now with FB Marketplace. So far 15 people have asked me if my framed artwork is available. Informed that it is, indeed, still available, they all dissipate into the ether like friends who claimed they'd help you move then mysteriously got antique medical maladies on the day.
“Cool Mayonnaise” Hank Spurlock
Ray should probably be 500 feet from any oboe, legally speaking.
Jeff Holt
I once sold a reverb pedal to a guy in a church worship group and he spent the entire encounter in a Pizza Hut parking lot trying to get me to go to his church
Lionstooth
I think "Dude I had therapy too did you like it" is about to work its way into my list of segues for when I don't understand how to have a conversation (always)
Chris Daniels
shoulda tried ebay (it calls it orange there but I'm still frowning it over) https://www.ebay.com/itm/256475333366
Derek Adams
I just reflexively retched
Chris Daniels
I'm pretty sure that pitcher was brown but it could have been orange. It's hard to tell when you're remembering something (I'm also willing to entertain the possibility that it came in multiple colors but I'll need some convincing)
Oppido
Go sit on a fig, you'll wish you didn't.
Oppido
Is that Supper Chunks with a monogram??
Mackenzie Guillory
Pat in panel 7 is, for once, totally on-the-money. Hash your haggling out beforehand, if you must, before awkwardly foisting it on someone in-person.
Amy Lewis
Is that the same supper chunks kid (now with a bloatee) who asked Pat for money to visit the gubberment?
Andrew
I like Ray’s sad eyebrows in the last panel. I think he knows the guy is right.
Josh Egbert
Are any hemorrhoids *not* duly-earned?
Cf Duddy
It is nine!
Chris Onstad
This is incredible
Chris Onstad
This is fantastic
Pete
I was once removing the legs from a couch that I was purchasing, and the lady's toddler sneezed directly into my mouth.
Matthew Harris
Craigslist is still a thing?
David Kettler
Bless the baby angel who is in charge of the space between the rustle of the trees on high and the swishel of the grass down low.
Ben Wissett
Cranky Philippe is my favourite Philippe. He's such an adorably chippy little bugger when something bothers him.
Rob Satterfield
In which Phillippe finds a new "friend" to play with on the personal section
Zach Morley
Oboe. decent comedy word.
Ryan Boyle
Ooh, Philippe enters a FYF! He's growing up.
