Achewood
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0082 — Guessin' 'bout vaginas
🕑 Added 2024-09-13 17:00:12 +0000 UTCThe outtakes and unused scripts for this strip, as always, post at noon today in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers.
To be a very young boy decades before the Internet was to live in an information desert of speculation, misunderstanding, and ill-intentioned lies. What precious little could be deduced about the female body occurred in the liminal mental space between the brassiere section of a catalog, and a terrifying thing a cackling boy from a broken home said about boobs leaking during orgasm.
May the unmanaged nature of sexual awakenings be a subject of conversation at all your weekend's gatherings.
Comments
Greg Earnest
😂😂😂
Cody Richmond
Ah, life before the internet, when you would hear casual mention of a kinda taboo word, realize too late that you should’ve been paying closer attention, and then be stuck for years employing a broken version of that word in your internal monologues because you’re too embarrassed to ask another human being and fuzzy search (let alone access to it) was still many, many years away. “Mandalate.”
Datura
I wanted to share a nice and horrible Achewood-related dream I just had before I forgot. In the dream I had played a wonderful Achewood video game, something between point-and-click and Paper Mario, looking a bit like the Kingdom of Loathing game. When I was waking up I was talking to someone in the dream and in a moment of horror said "I bet I'm going to wake up and this will have been a dream!" but in the dream I was just making a joke because I was so sure it was real. Well I guess the joke's on me because It wasn't real! Curse you Onstad, I know you had a hand in this somehow. The only scene I remember was near the end of the dream and seemingly near the end of the game, it took place at the edge of a forest. The forest was dark for the dead, all the characters that died during the game, and the light field outside held the still living. An aside noted that in the interstice was Pat, who had chosen not to cross over, but exist for now as a wandering ghost--and as a dog, not a cat. Btw I just looked it up to be sure and yeah it definitely isn't real
Ben Birdsall
This strip has me reminiscing about the time in ~second grade I got curious about the female anatomy and discretely tried to find it in the encyclopedia but couldn't. I was very angry that they would censor "bagina" because I just wanted to know, man!
Thea
American sex ed is pretty dire, huh.
Adrian Ingham
Beef's still shook up about Cliff Burton here
Paul
Ramses felt this similarly to the way a jedi feels when a planet gets exploded.
blair
Ray's been dropping things like that stormtrooper remark for much of the run of the strip. It's Chekhov's Bulge.
Jenn
Like that trash compactor in Star Wars Dude I almost spit water on this fancy dress I'm wearing for a wedding
Nathaniel R
That first row of cells got me laughing like when beef skateboarded down some stairs, you know the one, RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE
EndgamerAzari
You got it!
Colin Sueyres
To the tune of Runnin' With the Devil?
Travis O.
Laughed so hard at Beef's last line I almost spilled my drink
Zen Window
i dont have strong memories of my thoughts on the mysteries of the snooch before more empirical evidence quieted that internal debate but i have a very clear one of thinking it would be a tremendous waste to throw away sperm every time you peed so that couldnt possibly be whats happening on the boy half of the equation
elton mesquita
i thought it was an upside down triangle some distance below the navel with a neat circular hole right in the middle, all "eye of providence" like, almost illuminati like
EndgamerAzari
Yeah, that's, like, a tertiary function at best.
Mackenzie Guillory
MOOOOM Roast Beef wants to kiss girls on the trash compactor!
Bungus Bronbo
Mmm, yeah, this strip makes a lot of sense for the week you got married
Jonathan
I remember the day I learned that girls have 3 holes instead of 2.
b.zap
My safe word is: 3263827
Don Rowe
Thought-It-Was-Like-Two-Pressurized-Walls Gang rise up
Don Rowe
DRACULA DON'T GOT MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK MWWWAH-HA-HA
J Hardy Carroll
pretty much how I remember it
Rob Satterfield
HOT FOR VAGINA, MAYBE
Rob Satterfield
Cross Eyed Ball Pee is a great death metal song
Ollin Williams
If I can see a vagina, then they are the very opposite of "top secret."
EndgamerAzari
*Van Halen impression* GUESSIN' 'BOUT VAGINAAAAS
Irving Washington
When I was pubescing my friend was very insistent that you put it in and just pee in there. I did not understand the appeal but set forward with quiet resolve to achieve this aim. Luckily I was not successful until more graphically explicit instructions were given to me by the porn industry.
Oppido
Ah, a prequel to the 12/22/08 strip.
Josh Burton
This is brilliant. It reminds me of the classic Penny Arcade strip which is also brilliant: https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/05/07/kids-today
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Mickey Donovan is a danged fool.
Douglas Wykstra
One of Young Ray's most enviable qualities is that his growing body and mind have some objectively questionable stuff going on and his reaction is basically, "whatever, I'm sure it's normal."
Josh Egbert
Have faith Lil Beef. Your Mister Dracula will know the pressurized walls of a vagina!
Sasha Lišková
When I was a little straight boy I thought vaginas were between the boobs. Then Björk dropped Vulnicura.
Matthew Harris
Don't forget Usborne books and the like
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
the last line is cook's smooching
