Achewood
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0081 — Ray's Language Center
🕑 Added 2024-09-06 17:00:12 +0000 UTC(This strip is not the beginning of a storyline.) (Also, I apologize but the noontime bloopers version of the weekly strip will return next week, please read below.)
Dear Reader,
It is exactly one day until our wedding. I currently have one shoe on, and am about to rush out to clip table and altar flowers from a local nursery. I have to pick up three dozen cheese and onion knackwurst from Gartner's, for the appetizer station. Then a dozen local fruit pies. I have to soak my head in frozen water to give the impression that I have slept. I forgot to eat dinner last night because of a very salty hamburger at lunchtime. We are picking up ten eight-foot tables with an aircraft-carrier-size Dodge Ram pickup truck a friend rented through something called Trulio or whatever. There are parents, friends, staff, and the long-lost sitting on airplanes on tarmacs across the country. I apologize for not having a really great paragraph, or In-Universe / Author's Tier version of the strip this week. These things will all return next week, when I am a married man!
Comments
Jon
Ray is 1000% going to write "GAY"
RJ Carmine
Congratulations on your wedding!
2scrogz
And yet you still churned out a nice full-page cannon event for us! Happy Wedding, Onstad! Congrats sir.
Julie
Ray just looks so jazzed about "Broad-Ray" and it's great. Happy wedding, it was a good weekend to do it, my husband and I hit 12 years on Sunday so you've got some catching up to do.
Brad Matheson
Congratulations on your nuptials! Huzzah!
Tom PM
Ray-latable.
Datura
she's a very nice lady to let you serve cheese and onion knackwurst at the wedding
Stavro
Shakespeareton
Henri
This is one of my all time favorites.
Kewkoh
Congratulations, in a way, Onstad!
Lionstooth
they sent a poet
Gryffyd Dempsey
Congratulations, but dang now I'll never know in which manner Juliet's pop is "hella".
Jenn
Congratulations Dogg. So happy for you
Jenn
He's quoting a strip from long ago!
mutecypher
Congrats you dawg!
Jacquelyn R Walters
This strip made me laugh very loudly and crazily. Congrats on the wedding, have a great time with your loved ones, and try to get some sleep!
Lennon McAuliffe
Hey, he can marry a person of whatever gender or lack thereof he pleases! Congrats, buddy!
Jason Scott
Go get MARRIED to a LADY, you magnificent bastard!
Ollin Williams
There ain't nothing in this world so wholesome or warm as that feeling that you gonna be with the one you love forever. A feeling that I hope you never lose. Congrats again, Chris.
Ben Wilinofsky
I wish you every happiness available in your marriage, and also several kinds of boutique small-batch happiness only available from the weird little niches of life that we find ourselves stumbling into out if the rain
Sedric And Charlie
For all the sparkling language and hella cussin' you have provided, we will permit you this week off of Author's Tier duties to get married Seriously though both of you have a beautiful day and a wonderful future, from some internet goof who's been reading your comics for twenty years
Sedric And Charlie
we'll follow up on it in a decade or so and see where Ray's gotten with it, as we did with Penny
chili sunrise
Teodor has discovered that he can gas Ray up for his own entertainment
Josh Egbert
The salary cap is going up every season, it'll be fine.
GruntyGinMan
With these interest rates????
Tim Pratt
Congratulations on the impending nuptials!
Dan W
And he IS a little rhyme guy, isn't he?
Dan W
Congrats!
Elyse
Congratulations! “Broad-Ray” is perfect.
Lionstooth
Congratulations!
Josh Egbert
Yo buy me a house while you're up there. I'm sick of here.
Josh Egbert
His menu was choice. He's just an incurable fuckup.
Oppido
1. I was going to say "screw you" and call you a butthole, but then I realized I was just pulling a Psychology, so instead, here are some heartfelt well wishes. 2. I suspect Teodor was playing Ray here, probably in a "chronic sexual frustration sublimated into revenge on the whole world" type of way.
b.zap
A dude hella jazzed on his ability to marry the ladies
Stuart Gipp
THIS DUDE IS MARRIED AF
Tyrone Slothrust
Mazel! Get REAL FUCKIN MARRIED
Hunter Rasmussen
Congratulations!!!
GruntyGinMan
I'm going a wedding thing too except it's in Portland Maine not Portland Oregon and also I am here to drink not get married.
Matthew Harris
"Not the beginning of a storyline". I believe you and all, but we've heard that before. Also congratulations on getting MARRIED to a LADY. You just marry the HELL out of that woman.
Don Rowe
Let's take a moment to appreciate the effort that it takes to create an Achewood strip in 2024 where one main character is newly impressed by another main character's ability to twist the English language into unique and memorable contortions-of-phrase.
Rob Dalton
DAMNIT ONSTAD PUT DOWN THIS SHIT AND GO BE THE GROOM TO END ALL GROOMS.
Ismini Roller
Congratulations and Best Wishes! 🥳🥰
Kyle Cassidy
Congratulations!
Ed C.
Congratulations!
Brian Sutton
I've been with my wife for 23 years, oddly enough 23 years ago was when Achewood started. Did Chris alter the trajectory of my life so much that I found my lifelong partner? No. I have a signed print of the 'Everything I draw looks like a dick!' strip in my living room, hidden behind SO many other objects because she hates it. Have a great day tomorrow!
Ryan Boyle
Regarding the truck: every time I see a shiny clean lift-kit pickup, I think of the I HAVE WEIRD IDEAS ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN tailgate. You were ahead of the curve on that one. Have a blast this weekend!
Jeff Holt
Congratulations!
Cymbaline
Congrats in advance!
Nate
> This strip is not the beginning of a storyline I am having a lot of trouble accepting this
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
Be glad Teodor is not doing the catering for your reception. Everyone remember to go pee before the ceremony. And little rhyme guy? The man who wrote Guns and Ships? AHHHH how dare.
Walter Cooke
Well, as the saying goes, 'about time you made her an honest woman!' Congrats!!!
Tim Carmody
Marry the HELL out of that woman
Spyguitar
Alright dogg let's get MARRIED ! Let's get married to a LADY !
Ben Sunshine-Hill
“Hella okay.” In Ray’s version, the family feud thing has been cut. Also, instead of poison, Chivas.
Aaron J. Rushton
Congratulations on the situation, and the strip was also very good in case you didn't hear that enough as well.
AbandonedRocketship
Congratulations!
Tom P
Is there a Patreon tier we can sub to to come get some appetizers?
Anthony Thompson
Huge if true!
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
My favorite thing about getting married is what a complete fucking hassle it is from start to finish
blair
Time to go marry a lady!
Josh Egbert
Like Ray, you ain't no quitter. Go get married to a lady! Or a gentleman. Or person. Whatever you dig! It's your day!
Tim from New Hampshire
There's no way to know what Romeo's next word of dialogue was going to be
kdusjjdhxksj
My congratulations to both of you, and anyone else who might feel strongly about this occasion. Do well by her, whatever happens. Gartner’s was an excellent choice.
Amy Lewis
Happy getting-wedded day!
emitydna
Congratulations!
sp
happy 0th anniversary!!
Kalle Flodin
also happy one day until wedding day!
Bungus Bronbo
I guesssss you should prioritize a wedding over some shlubs who chuck a few bucks your way each month But at least you had time to brush up against some iambic pentameter in this one
Kalle Flodin
first
