Tame Demons
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The Perfect Time to Start Something New....
🕑 Added 2025-02-01 13:00:03 +0000 UTCI’ve been planning to start Patreon and YouTube properly for years, always promising myself and hopeful commenters that “yes, tutorials are coming, within the next few months.” But I always found myself too busy, and it never quite materialised.
So far, I’ve found that self-employment as a creative is sort of like running a race with an armful of large, awkwardly-shaped items. Occasionally something gets thrown at me - like tax returns - or I’ll see an opportunity coming - like a local, experimental art club night - and have to try and pick it up and add it to the pile without stopping or dropping any of the existing objects.
For the last few months of 2024, it was very convenient for me to say “ok, January 2025 for real.” I only had one big commission to finish through December, and then my plate would be free and empty. I had big plans for January. I would get myself an industrial sewing machine, and a dressmaker’s mannequin. I wanted to learn to make garments, and I would film the process for YouTube, and document progress on Patreon.
I had told myself that I would work all through December - only taking The Day itself off to be with family. But I thought it would be nice to have one day for myself, so I took Boxing Day too (for those non-Brits, that’s the 26th). And oh boy, was it nice to just take a day completely free of work and laundry and chores, and just sit around eating cheese and cake and watching telly and playing games.
I’ve not had much in the way of holiday in 2024. I moved across the country and into a new flat, which I had to organise by myself. I then had to unpack not only my belongings, but the entire workshop as well. I had very little spare cash, so I had to keep working the entire time.
I work a lot of evenings and weekends, trying to meet deadlines, edit content, and photograph products for the store. I’m in a long distance relationship, and while I’ve had a couple of short work-free trips early in the year, I soon started filling my visits with business admin tasks like finances, taxes, and video edits.
So taking Boxing Day to do nothing was something of a revelation. I think the only other day I’ve had like that in 2024 was when I was so sick I could no longer sit at my desk, and I gave in and stayed in bed. Boxing Day turned into a week. One day I didn’t even cook, I just stayed in bed reading and eating chocolate. I felt really guilty about taking time off, but most of my friends still in gainful employment weren’t going back to work until the 6th of Jan, so I slowly tried to let go of that guilt, and somewhere around the New Year, I finally stopped worrying and actually relaxed.
And then Monday 6th rolled around, and it was no longer possible to hide from responsibility, or financial ruin. I finished off my commission, which took another week, immediately put half the money into my tax pot, had a little panic about finances, and started planning next steps. I was already two weeks into January, and I’d made no progress towards any of my many goals.
Add to that the laser cutter that had arrived at my door at the end of December - and for which my first content deadline was looming. I hadn’t really thought about the implications of accepting such a big, expensive bit of hardware for promotional purposes, but suddenly I had this unexpected item to add to the work stack, and I had to rearrange my flat in order to find space for it too.
So 2025 has so far been much like 2024. I had to pick everything up and get right back onto the racetrack, balancing commissions, shop work, content creation and advertising, and it didn’t really feel possible to add YouTube, Patreon, and garments to that stack too. But I told myself I’d do it in January, and if I didn’t start, I never would.
So here I am, writing up Patreon posts on a Saturday afternoon. I have no idea if I can handle two extra platforms on top of my existing work, but I can’t be reliant solely on Instagram and Tiktok for my income.
All this is to say that, often, there is no neat and perfect ‘free’ time to start something. We will always be overloaded with work, and when we’re done with work then we have chores; we have to maintain ourselves, and our environment. It’s easy to say that I’m too busy to manage anything else, but nothing will change if I don’t make the time to change it. At least it’s a different type of work to my usual creative process, and I get to spend some time writing, which I haven’t done since I was a teenager.
Wish me luck!
Comments
Bübbles
Technically the new year is in February, with the lunar new year.. which is why January always still feels like the year before. We ALL need rest, even trees go through rest & grow. We can't be going at full speed all the time, we burn out. Business model go by a very unrealistic working structure, they tell us to work 16hrs a day, that only leaves 8hrs to eat, sleep & do the rest of what our lives need.. so it doesn't actually make sense! It should be the reverse, work 8 hrs, life stuff & sleep the rest. Be kind to yourself in this backwards world & self care is so important 💜
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