ThatShadowhare
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Crawlies!
🕑 Added 2021-09-21 22:05:55 +0000 UTCDid you know that all humans have a 51% chance of stumbling, and possibly hurting themselves, whenever they walk for a prolonged amount of time?
Not always do humans manage to land safely on their diapered rear to absorb the impact of an uncontrolled fall, and studies suggest that in fact over 70% of all human knee- and hand-injuries are the direct result of them being allowed to waddle around without supervision for more than five minutes, leading to the inevitable sooner or later.
All experts agree that a human's primitive sense of direction and balance is to blame for this, and WILL eventually make them fall, guaranteed.
But what can you do?
How do you prevent your human from burning through a pack of bandaids per day, becoming a grumpy, whiny mess in the process, and making you paranoid of every bumping noise you perceive?
In order to answer that question, we have designed the perfect solution to an apparent problem!
Crawlies, the new and improved knee guards with in-built crawl-guarantee! Simply slip them on your human and watch the Crawlies Magic happen!
Two thin, flexible magnetic sheets sewn into the back half of the kneepads attract each other with enough force to always keep your human's legs at a 90° angle once they've touched, allowing all important movements ranging from crawling to squatting and sitting, but preventing overconfident attempts at "walking" or standing up.
And as always, through rigurous testing, our experts have determined a 100% safe design which resists all accidental pulling, scratching and stretching that might occur over the course of an exciting day of exploring!
All that, naturally, while still allowing adult hands to easily separate the magnetic sheets again without much trouble, to quickly strip the Crawlies off once they are not needed anymore!
Your humans wouldn't be able to take their Crawlies off even if they wanted to (which, as all human-specialists agree, is definitely not the case), and thanks to the extremely comfortable, soft interior made entirely of high-tech breathable fabric, there is virtually no need for it either!
Let them crawl for as long as possible, and enjoy the incredible feeling of security, while they enjoy the most comfortable exploration-crawls ever!
No longer will you need to constantly keep an eye on your human, fearing that, any second, the all too familiar noise of a tumbling toddler, and the attached moaning and weeping, will disturb your home's peace and quiet!
Keeping a box of bandages at the ready "just in case" will become nothing more than a faint memory once you've gotten used to the flawless effect of Crawlies!
Keeping things out of human's reach, or making sure they stay on THEIR side of the playpen has never been easier, thanks to Crawlies!
10/10 human owners would recommend Crawlies, and never leave home without a pair!
Available in countless designs, in any human store near you!
Crawlies - Keep them grounded
(PS: Super proud of Bulldad's hands in this one, I think they're my favourite part of the whole image, besides the concept itself! xD
ALSO, holy cow guys, I just realized that we're currently on 74 patrons, which means we'll PROBABLY have another celebratory event next month!
Thanks a ton for the support you guys, seriously, I can not stress enough how much of a difference it makes to me! <3)
