Jordan Alex Green
patreon
Orb Weaver Apocrypha: From the Mouth of Babes
🕑 Added 2025-11-10 20:23:35 +0000 UTC"Is it gonna work?" Mandy asked. They were using her garage, and if Mom found out...
"Sure," Hank, the totally cool kid of Ms. Williams' 6th/7th grade class. "I heard that if you put a candle out and then breathe on a mirror, he has to do what you say!"
Soon, the ritual was ready. They had the pentagram, inscribed in red crayon (the book said blood, but ick!), and the kids were ready.
"Orb Weaver, we call you!" Hank said. Mandy and the others were wearing their Halloween masks. The book had said burlap buried under a wrongfully killed man's grave, but again, ick! "We breathe on your mirror and call you!"
Mandy looked around. Pretty soon, they were gonna be able to sell all the candy and win the bikes!"
****
I was walking with Brian on another Aisha-chaperoned date. Or maybe Brian was using me to help watch her. I didn't know and...
My bugs detected something, I formed a bug relay and... what the hell?
I didn't shift my conversation with Brian, but I started working fast. Very fast.
****
Inside the room, there was a shiver, and suddenly the lights grew dim as a carpet of bugs covered them, the candles flickering and then HE was standing there, a humanoid mass of bugs in the center of the pentagram.
"We did it!" Hank said. "Orb Weaver, you have to do what we say!"
"Oh, really, now why is that?"
"Because you're in our--eep!" Mandy squeaked along with the others, as Orb Weaver's head spun around in a way no human's head could, looking at her.
"In your pentagram?" The figure chuckled. "Tell me, Hank, where did you get that book from?"
"Um, a guy on the boardwalk?"
"And who do you think wrote it?" And then Mandy squeaked louder as Orb Weaver turned and walked over the pentagram, all the candles going out at once!
"But... But..." Hank was stuttering.
"I do so enjoy it when little morsels come to me."
"Please don't eat us." Mandy said, as Tim whimpered.
"Eat you? Oh, no. Mandy Whitticker, student at St. Julian's Academy. I have something far, far worse in mind for you."
Mandy whimpered.
"I called your parents." And then the door flew open, and Mandy's Mom was there. Looking REALLY angry. "Good day, Mrs. Whitticker. I believe our business is concluded... don't be... too hard on your daughter," And then it dissolved and all the bugs went away and the room was silent.
For a little while.
Then Mom opened her mouth.
****
"Did I say something?" Brian asked.
"Why?"
"You're smiling."
"Kinda a deep sea shark smile," Aisha said.
"I just... thought of something, amusing..."
Comments
Miguel Garcia
I need to hear more about these “dates”
