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(Vol 5) Chapter 46: Being Illumined
🕑 Added 2024-06-16 15:18:30 +0000 UTCSammy stared at the entity across from her, stunned and perplexed by the sheer, extreme difference from anyone else she’d dealt with, not just Orswyth. The closest beings were The FT and Lovie, and this one seemed… somehow more formidable.
It could also be an opportunity for some intel, right?
Sammy ventured, “Is it okay if I ask questions not pertaining to ‘getting the show on the road?’ I’m curious.”
“Sure. So long as you agree that when I say it is time to begin, we begin. And that I — as an incomplete facet straining and contorting myself into some warped facsimile of the greater me — don’t know everything. I also can’t offer information that rigs the game, though I’d be amazed if you didn’t win.”
“Wait, there’s a win/lose involved?”
“Oh yes. All of reality is at stake.” There was such a dry matter-of-fact tone to it, free of any irony, that she wondered if he was in fact being sarcastic by the omission. “Or something like that.”
“Shit! Okay. Pause button on that. Um… I wanted to ask what was up with your first stare, because you looked into my soul, brushed my consciousness, but also tried something.”
“Yes. But I thought your first question would be ‘Why are you so aware compared to any other? Why didn’t a confused Orswyth show up?’ rather than that.”
“Okay, let’s go with that then.”
“It’s identity more than anything. Personality. Most are half-asleep even as they become more aware. Or perhaps they prefer to not be ‘seen’ and understood by their mortal facet. I awoke from a long sleep as you shook me awake on that train. It was an offering of wisdom, to me like smelling salts. As for the here and now…”
He pointed his finger at her. “You are the one that needs to learn more than I or Orswyth. You are the one holding the greatest potential to deliver a reward. That amalgamate seeks to control and reduce chance-taking, seeks safety. I reject such notions. Your path will not get any easier from here. More tests will come and this is child’s play in comparison.”
“I see.” The train awoke the inner entity. He tends to be more engaged? Orswyth was already a natural leader and teacher. “Will your more active awareness change how Orswyth behaves?”
“Of course. But don’t surmise it to mean I have my own ambitions. That is pointless for the mutual goal we already share. In addition to other reasons. I’ll only enhance his effectiveness in the same way you have with your external influences. This, now, is in itself instructive.” He paused briefly. “Orswyth wishes to assure you he will hold together.”
Sammy blinked a few times, struck by the oddity. But it couldn’t be weirder than being subsumed herself, after all. The real question is: why hasn’t the core ‘me’ subsumed me? She only shows in little impressions and hints. Nothing like this.
The old man seemed to guess her thoughts. “You should trust that Director inside of you, Samantha. I do.”
Inexplicably, she felt great relief to hear it — in fact, it was another of those exact ‘impressions’ she was thinking about washing over her. Fondness, of a sort. It was too alien to be exactly fondness, but it was close — or was that in part.
Sighing, Samantha shook her head. “I want to. I want to trust something real. Much as I want to, I don’t trust Lovie. She even tells me not to.”
“Yes.”
“I shouldn’t?”
The entity shrugged. “What you should trust is that it is all contrived to arrange an end, as a universe balanced on the tip of a blade in gamble. I will tell you honestly I do not know the contrivance, only see the pattern. If I were to unravel it — to decode the orchestration’s notes and tune — I suspect I’d refuse to reveal it.”
“Because I need to be ignorant, right? To learn as I go and make decisions based on… being a human. Being Sammy.”
“So you already know. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”
“I just wish I had some guarantee I’ll even exist when it’s all over. And who can assure me? From entities like you, it could easily just be a pat on the head to get me to do what you want.”
“You feel intrinsically it is what you want, though. We all do. Your higher self cannot hide that. But perhaps it would comfort you to know that this experience has changed me to my core. Business will not continue as normal. Before you ask, no, I cannot even formulate the thoughts much less the words to define what is Beyond. I can only say that it is a cosmic game or series therein. I think you’ll agree it must end.”
“Yeah.” She paused as she considered his words. “I guess you’re right. It had to have changed us. Is this-... is that why you were so… sad? Were we close?”
To this, the entity was quiet for once, the star-eyes casting away into the middle distance. Finally, he replied, “Inherently, we are all like family, both together and apart beyond the foundations we can conceive of as ‘existing’ at all — to these brains, twisted into time, space, consciousness, so on. There was never a time we were not, and this is a jarring, primitive statement, as the notion extends to higher, fuzzier states of novelty and interconnectivity.
“Your absence was at first nightmarish and painful, and through the torture of this [Time] we are stretched across, it became madness. I eventually sought to retreat from this, and then to hide, and then to try to cease to exist. More or less — I know it is impossible. In any case, I believe you — the inner you — were trying to teach us something, and no matter the methodology, I listen and learn when I am taught. So. In this, we have symmetry. Similarity. We are fluid and not frozen into some staid ideal.”
“Wow! To teach something? It’s still a mystery how the absence occurred, much less the motive. At least two don’t seem to have learned anything, right? The Sage and Glaelychus.”
“This reality suits [Entropy] so well that the word itself suits him to a high degree. There is little doubt he remains blind or uncaring of the inner truth. [Rivalry]-” The old man grimaced around the word, then made a disgusted sound. “[Defiance]? Gah! There is no proper translation. Glae is almost impossible to get to cooperate, locked into an ideal that is innately not able to understand and integrate on our wavelength here. He is the dry ice to our water.”
“[Rivalry], huh? It makes a stupid amount of sense. Any suggestions with him?”
“Were it me? Learn as much as you can and swallow your ego in your dealings to facilitate that. Set the stage for him to underestimate you and believe himself in control. You want to know the path he will take in the end, so you can make him believe your back is presented at that end for stabbing. But you must be the one to betray him, instead.”
“I don’t know that I can do that. I might need him as an ally.”
“That is only possible in rare circumstances, and only temporarily. Pick your moment carefully. I can’t say whether he is awake or asleep inside. If asleep, perhaps there is some means to bring a state of awareness. Perhaps enough for him to come to his senses and make an exception for once. But this may be optimistic.”
“You’re probably right. Food for thought, though. Perhaps from some contest?”
“It is possible. If you can, bring your contention together to something more sporting, whether that is to your tastes or not. A pinch of respect would go a long way if you can contrive it.”
“Mmn. Ugh! He was such an asshole. If he can ease up on that somewhat, maybe I could. I mean, technically he was in mourning for his lover, not to mention suffering from a relative defeat he thought he had in the bag… maybe he’ll be in a better mood after some time.”
“I cannot say, but at best he is always difficult.” The old man gestured with an open hand at the cards. “The time for questions is over, Samantha. The game must commence.”
Sammy took a deep, preparatory breath. “Alright. What are the rules?”
“Very simple. All of the cards are presented. You must choose — correctly — the one to whom I correspond in your comedy.”
Sammy’s brows furrowed. “Comedy? The tarot?”
“Or this broken reality as the macrocosm of it — take your pick. What else could the Fool’s Journey be?”
“Good point. Am I The Fool after all, then?”
“Samantha? Maybe. In truth, we all agreed to this travesty and are the same.” He swept his hand down over the cards. “Each is a mask, a face, at a different snapshot of time in the journey. Different enough on the surface, but the other side is a whole other story.”
Sammy studied the wizened face of the man across from her, partly in the guise of Orswyth but showing hints of more. “I think I know who you are.”
“Don’t think — know. Make your selection.”
Sammy’s eyes shifted to the cards. Might want to process my instincts a bit instead of jumping the gun. “I know you’re High Arcana, so would you please arrange the twenty-two in front of me?”
The cards shifted to do as she asked, forming two neat rows of eleven in front of her, numbered from 0 to 21.
The Fool, The Magician, The High Priestess, The Empress, The Emperor, The Hierophant, The Lovers, The Chariot, Strength, The Hermit, The Wheel of Fortune, Justice, The Hanged Man, Death, Temperance, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Moon, The Sun, Judgement, and The World.
The most shit obvious before was The Hierophant. Religion, tradition, spirituality, convention, knowledge, values… Some of that is here, and maybe more in Orswyth, but that’s not his encapsulation, not the inner one. Convention? No way. He told the FT to stuff her convention, which is why I’m even playing.
She drummed her fingers on the table, glancing over the others. We saw Orswyth get Strength Reversed… upright is courage, bravery, compassion, tolerance… which might work for him again but not this guy, right? He’s a bit cold. He’s… neutral.
She considered Temperance. It was ‘balance, patience, moderation’ which might suit him... but also peace and tranquility. He was a teensy bit cantankerous. He was more the other things because he sought truth and understanding, and was keen to share it.
Two are close, but not quite.
The other cards only served to solidify her instincts. The visuals tip the balance. She had her selection.
She took it confidently and held it up, meeting those starry eyes across from her. “You are wisdom and independent thought. You are introspection, self-reflection, and the pursuit of truth. Furthermore, you’ve found it — you stand on the mountaintop and shine a light like a guide for others, just as you chose to teach me here instead of simply receiving a blessing. You are... the acquisition and triumph of enlightenment...”
Sammy flung the card over the table to land next to him, showing the card's face — a bearded wiseman in gray standing on a mountaintop, with a staff in one hand and a lantern in the other, with a shining star beaming out of it. “You are The Hermit.”
The figure’s eyes flashed brighter briefly, and the cards all disappeared but for the one. “Correct. Well done. For your gamble with Fate, I am authorized to award you 5 exp in [Goddess] and 5 exp in [Wizard], before whatever modifiers you have. Furthermore, a vision for Orswyth and yourself will now be revealed. I will send you to awaken immediately after. Farewell for now, Samantha of Earth.”
Before she could respond, the eyes of The Hermit flashed brighter than ever and swallowed the void into a vision…
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