Rain Harlow
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(Vol 6) Chapter 5: A Better Memory
🕑 Added 2024-07-24 15:17:32 +0000 UTCAfter her lover departed, Azure flopped on the smooth stone in the rain and let herself be miserable. Miserable and angry. She sobbed and smashed her fist into the rock, which caused her hand to turn into crystal and absorb the impact without damage. She did it a few more times and the stone cracked.
Exactly! It’s what I do. Break things. Intentionally and otherwise.
The connection to Samantha she had not only blocked but ‘smoothed,’ as if to look like everything was perfectly fine. She was good at hiding things, even from Sammy. It had seemed to translate well into her new abilities since becoming whatever she was.
I knew that archer’s hatred was too intense to direct to Samantha. Too personal. She took the fall for my sins. She was punished for me!
She sat up to scream at the sky. “Fuck you, System! It’s dogshit! Cowshit! Fuck you! Fuck you, reality!” The sky seemed to answer with a peel of thunder. She laughed bitterly. “Ha! I’m glad it annoys you! Bitch!”
Shaking her head at her own absurdity, she began taking off her somewhat muddy boots. Barefoot. Like when I was a ratty child. She almost hurled the boots over the cliff, but fell short of doing it, blinking at the boots still in her hand. I really like these boots…
Somewhat annoyed with herself for her lack of resolve, she squirreled them away into a dimensional pocket with a quick, glittery implosion of space. She didn’t need an item for that anymore — it was part of her ‘natural’ ability suit. It was getting weirder and weirder… the inner dimensionality of mirrors. With every level, its interlacing with reality became clearer. From past lives, she knew this, but it was different to fully live and realize it.
It’s because we are reality. Bent-up hallucinations given form. True of me more than anyone. Without me, there would be no in-side reality, because there would be no-where. And where am I? Easy. Contorted into a tool, an instrument, a weapon, in her hands. Multiplying her power and versatility.
Bad as it might feel to some, that didn’t bother her. It synergized, it Fit, with an ancient-beyond-ancient chosen purpose. It was just right. Satisfying. Aside from that, she’d do anything for Samantha, and she knew it was likewise. She had to stay as sharp as a diamond blade to her purposes, or she’d become a liability. That she would not do.
It’s not as if she isn’t putty in my hands in other ways. My eternal consolation. An excellent one, truthfully.
It wasn’t enough, though. Not for her iteration, not for Azure. Not when her predecessor was causing pain from her nebulous grave. Things weren’t in order there — they were tangled chaotically. She would make it her purpose to undo it all.
She walked down from the cliff known as Highmark, off toward the city nestled along the stony coast. Just toward — she had another foggy destination in mind. The lowlands were wet and muddy but still traversable. The city disappeared quickly under the rocky hills between, as her feet disappeared in the mud squishing between her toes.
A better memory to drown the rest in rain. Bury it in the mud of where I’m truly from. Here. My friend! Jallee. Always together, then. We hunted the frogs and salamanders. We looked for the red whale tails they said rose only during rain. We never saw and thought ourselves unlucky. Did you become a pirate, Jallee? I still never saw them. They told me the whales are all dead in our lands. Hunted to death aeons ago. We searched for ghosts.
She made her way down a sandy coast beach, plentiful with rocky outcrops. The foamy surf was driving far and high, but not enough to get the outer banks, which remained merely damp with rain.
A certain well-known structure was a large, rocky hollow, almost a cave but perhaps too shallow. She approached it cautiously because of its general popularity, but soon saw it was unoccupied. Inside was the customary fire pit with stones around it, and haphazard things to sit on, made of driftwood logs and stumps.
She began picking up the small stones, any that were round, trying to recall the exact look of one in particular.
“I bet if we carved our names in the bottom, it’ll be here forever,” Jallee had said, in the brash surety of youth.
“Nuh-uh!” young Azure had replied, laughing at him. “That’s dumb. A big storm’ll wash ‘em away! Took away that black stump, remember? It was the best stump, too.”
But the Naugite boy had only scoffed. “Nah, someone stole’t it, for sure. Everything else’s still here! I bet you a whole gold piece it’ll stay forever.”
“You don’t even have a silver, dummy!”
“But I will! When I’m big n’ rich n’ famous! So will you. It won’t mean nothin’ by then, so who cares? I bet you it’s still here by then.”
Azure had rolled her eyes. “Whatever! Fine, let’s try. I’ll be one gold more richer.”
Awkward letters had been carved onto the bottom of a typical round stone of the fire pit and left to be checked. Jallee had been smug about it for years because they’d found their names again and again. They told no one, though. It was a secret, and others might be ‘assholes’ and copy-cat them, or throw it into the sea.
Azure checked every round stone, and then checked them again, more thoroughly. She wandered around the rest of the hollow, looking for any others. But there was nothing. Any names scrawled on the bottom of a stone eluded her.
She sat down on a log and sighed in disappointment, looking out through the opening at the rain and the sea. “You owe me a gold piece, Jallee. But I don’t need it. You were right about that, at least.”
She noticed something on a larger rock she’d discounted, so she craned down and turned it toward her. On a flat section of rock to the side of it, nicely formed letters read, ‘Rackar & Hellie Forever!’
Azure laughed, shaking her head. “Someone with a similar idea, is it? Good luck. Maybe true love and a bigger rock will prevail over mere childhood friends and a throwaway stone.”
How do I find out what happened to the Mirror Demon? I have to know her end. Would her beginning lead me to it, or just pain and madness? The Hall refused to give it up. Just like anything to do with her. I could believe it was intentional, like it didn’t want me to find out any more. Is that Lovie’s doing, some other mechanism, or my imagination? Regardless, I can see how it would be construed as for my own good.
Her instincts pushed her both to and away from the ruins. It felt like diving into a beckoning abyss. And that’s why she resisted it. To experience what made the Mirror Demon could carry her in the same footsteps. When she could peer in and be confident in herself, perhaps.
I need to chase other threads. Research, collaborate, meet minds, work. That is what Samantha’s organization has taught us solves problems and produces the best results. Order over chaos, and that’s what I need. What she needs… is me not devolving reality into my way. That muddy road back up… it’s my nature to take it. A thousand lives before, I would. I’d reach out and touch the glittering dark, laughing in glee. Throw caution to the wild, wild wind.
“Just as she did,” Azure muttered and knew it was true. She had reached out and touched that twisted source for strength in the midst of desperation and madness. For her, in particular, it was too late to merely be licked by it. She dove into it and came out a true monster. She abused the power like none before her. Rewrote reality to undo the gods themselves and turn them into something the Sage could truly loathe.
The first batch he destroyed surely needed to be, but he had no inclination to stop there. A failing on his part, but I… get it.
Her iterations could break things very easily, including souls. Including their own. It wasn’t like Tashome’s… shape. He was malleable and forgable — fluid and yielding, incredibly durable and enduring. In contrast, she was hard and sharp and fragile. If she broke, everything they were hoping to accomplish was over.
I’m going to do this her way and make her proud. Understanding obtained for both our sakes. She stood up, taking a deep breath, ready to move on — from the past mistakes, from guilt she didn’t deserve. No more crying, right, Samantha? Time to get cracking! Hm. Poor choice of words…
Azure stood and left the old stones where they were, pausing at the edge of the hollow just before the spilling rain. She saw some movement under the sand briefly, just beyond. Some beach creature, perhaps a crab.
Nearby, small rivulets of water were escaping an overfilled puddle and running over a rocky section. The rock was worn there like a groove.
Water pooling in the same place, doing the same thing it has a million times before. That’s our reality, isn’t it? We could take the shape of anything, yet here we are, simple spilled-out elements.
She felt a sudden connection in her mind, coming with the scent of wildflowers and the charge of a pack of lions. Redberry. “Azure. If you can find a moment to meet physically, I have a very special gift to give you.”
Azure was pleasantly surprised. “Ah, Redberry! I’m terribly flattered. I’m sure we can arrange it momentarily, Goddess. May I ask what it is?”
“Many things. A weapon, but useless in the wrong hands. I was hoping you could… cajole its full power out. My analysis and considerations on the matter point to you as the best chance.”
“I… see. I’m not sure how I could be the best bet of this nature compared to others, but I will gladly try my best. A weapon you say? What kind? I’m best with daggers.”
“I know. It — he — is called Ka’tettin Havur. Deathsting.”
✦•············•✦•···········•✦
Serkars’srek slithered and shifted himself out of physical reality back to the spirit world, to avoid any problems of detection or vibe-noticing from the blue demon ape-thing. Nerdites or whatever they were called. Disgusting and smelly, regardless. Technically the harlot smelled overpoweringly like animal mutilation industry and flowers — ‘soap purr fumes’ he believed it was called — but that was just as bad.
Stealth masking, I guess. Not sure what good it does when you can track that oddity for leagues and leagues…
He slipped through hidden spaces in Limbo to make his way back out of the Nerdite lands, which were distasteful as it was. Paranoid, he kept a close watch for other spies or threats.
Activity is bothersome lately. At least the screwy spaces aren’t twisting around everywhere. And Ms. Harlot Queen isn’t rampaging somewhere. I can’t believe I was asked to spy on her flowery mate. She’s gotten ridiculously dangerous here, not to mention problematic to spy on. Hiding from her would be an art requiring not even the tiniest mistake. And a cushion of distance.
Serkars’srek found his way to the temple and slithered up the pyramid. The Queen was dozing all curled up in her cup-throne as usual, but she opened her eyes languidly just as he approached. She beckoned him with a hand, so he obliged and made his way all the way up to wrap around her arm. They flicked tongues on each other’s faces in familiar greetings.
“You’re in a ‘satisfied with your job’ sort of mood,” The Queen commented with a display of teeth. “Good news, then?”
“Yes,” Serkars’srek flicked. “She did not enter the ruins. She walked down to some hollow on the beach and was having nostalgia or something like that. And apeing deep introspection.” Serkars’srek sent the bundle of imagery and impressions to her mentally.
The Queen squinted as she reviewed things. Then two of her hands took her cheeks as she rocked her face and beamed in delight. “Oh, such a lovely scene! She’s doing so well! What an improvement! She’s not going. A test passed. I am so happy for her. Thank you, Serkars’srek.”
“Why do you care so much about this demon ape?”
Blink, blink. “Oh, she’s far more than that within and beyond. But you’re right, aren’t you? I care about her, the persona. And her improvement. Hmm. I forget why! I don’t have many details coded, just the big stuff.”
When he thought about it, Serkars’srek probably didn’t want to know. “So am I going to have to keep spying on her?”
“No, no, no… Just know that I am pleased. This gives me something to look forward to for a bit. I can save the nail-biting for after. What a warm, gooey feeling!”
“Wonderful.”
“Mmn!” She yawned. “Mmn. Would you like to nap?”
“Yes.”
Serkars’srek nestled nearly under his queen to trap the warmth of the radiant cup and enjoy some basking. It was way better than the sun.
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