MR BEAST
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🕑 Added 2025-10-24 09:56:31 +0000 UTCHiruzen Sarutobi rubbed his temples, his face etched with exhaustion.
The candles in the Hokage's Office burned brightly all night, while outside, Konoha Village had long fallen silent, with only a few patrol lights slowly moving through the darkness.
He had just returned from Orochimaru, his mind greatly exhausted, but the sense of accomplishment from nipping a future BOSS in the bud made him feel that it was all worth it.
Next, all he had to do was follow the routine, finish the mountain of official duties, and then tonight he could... [Detecting key destiny node character: Jiraiya.]
[Current status: Rushing headlong down the path to becoming a pervert.]
The cold, mechanical prompt in his mind made Hiruzen Sarutobi's recently relaxed brow furrow once more.
His eyelids twitched wildly.
"Can't I just have one day off?!"
He roared silently in his heart.
Hiruzen Sarutobi took a deep breath and called up the simple map provided by the simulator in his mind.
On the map, a Chakra light spot representing Jiraiya was clinging to the outer wall of Konoha's women's bathhouse in an extremely lewd posture.
Motionless.
Completely focused.
Hiruzen Sarutobi's blood pressure shot up instantly.
Good heavens, Orochimaru has mental problems, and you have moral problems, don't you?
Not one of you can be spared!
He stood up from his chair, picked up his hokage god robe and draped it over himself, and with a flash, disappeared from the office... Konoha Public Bathhouse, filled with steamy mist.
On the high wall of the backyard, a boy with striking white hair was clinging to the wall, his eyes gleaming, drool hanging from the corner of his mouth, watching with great relish.
Jiraiya felt this was much more entertaining than Ninjutsu battles.
Within it, there was art, and his ultimate yearning for beautiful things.
However, just as he was engrossed in watching, preparing to engrave this precious "research" experience into his mind, he suddenly felt the brick he was stepping on inexplicably slip.
As if it had been coated with the finest lubricant.
"Hmm?"
Before Jiraiya could react, his center of gravity shifted, and he flailed his limbs on the wall for a moment.
"Ah--!"
A scream pierced the night sky, and he, like a thrown sack, flipped directly into the women's bathhouse courtyard in a perfect 'face-plant' posture.
Splosh!
"Ah ah ah ah! There's a pervert!"
"Where did this kid come from!"
"Kill him!"
Instantly, the courtyard erupted.
The women's screams, angry curses, and the thud of fists on flesh intertwined into a tragic symphony.
Outside the wall, Hiruzen Sarutobi slowly emerged from the shadows.
He admired his masterpiece, nodding in satisfaction.
The recently acquired Chakra Precise Control (Master Level) was overkill for such a task.
He had merely attached a trace of imperceptible Chakra to that tiny stone, precisely altering its surface friction.
The effect was outstanding.
Soon, a team of patrolling Ninja arrived at the sound, and seeing Hokage-sama there, they quickly stepped forward to salute.
"Hokage-sama! What happened?"
"Nothing."
Hiruzen Sarutobi waved his hand, his expression calm.
"A naughty child, accidentally fell while looking at the scenery."
The patrolling Ninja exchanged glances, looking at the two-meter-high wall, then at the chaotic sounds coming from inside, feeling that things weren't that simple.
But since Hokage-sama said so, they dared not ask more and could only stand outside with serious expressions.
After a while, the bathhouse door opened.
A white-haired boy, bruised and swollen, covered in bumps, and wearing only a loincloth, was dragged out by the bathhouse proprietress like a chicken and thrown onto the ground.
The proprietress bowed to Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Hokage-sama, this child is yours to deal with!"
"You worked hard."
Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded gently.
Jiraiya lay on the ground, feeling like he was about to die.
He ached all over, especially his face, which was swollen like a pig's head.
He dazedly raised his head, and when he saw that the person standing before him was the new Third Hokage, he was scared out of his wits.
It's over.
It's really over now.
Caught peeping into the women's bathhouse by the Hokage himself, wouldn't this crime lead to immediate execution?
He even began to imagine himself tied in front of the Konoha Memorial Stone, publicly executed.
However, Hiruzen Sarutobi did not scold him, nor did he show any sign of anger.
He just walked over, squatted down, and with a complex expression of a "man who's been there," patted Jiraiya's shoulder.
"Does it hurt?"
Jiraiya nodded tremblingly, unable to speak.
"Having aspirations is a good thing."
Hiruzen Sarutobi spoke earnestly.
"But the method must be right."
"If you continue like this, you won't achieve great things."
Jiraiya was bewildered.
Aspirations? What aspirations?
What is Hokage-sama talking about?
Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at his silly, pig-like face, stood up, and cleared his throat.
"In view of your actions tonight, which severely disrupted the public order of Konoha Village and caused great mental distress to the villagers."
"I have decided to assign you an 'S-rank' punitive mission."
S-rank!
Jiraiya's legs went weak at the mention of it.
At his age, he hadn't even completed a few D-rank missions, and now he was directly facing an S-rank punishment?
Is he sending me to assassinate the Raikage?
"The mission content is very simple."
Hiruzen Sarutobi said slowly, with his hands behind his back.
"Within three days, write a ten-thousand-word report and submit it to the Hokage's Office."
"The report title is, 'On the Qualities of a Hero and the Will of a Ninja.'"
"If you don't finish it, no food."
Jiraiya's mind went blank, completely frozen.
Ten... ten thousand words?
Write a report?
What kind of punishment is this?
For him, this was more terrifying than being sent to duel an Iwagakure Jonin!
"Hokage-sama, I... I'd rather clean the Memorial Stone for a year!"
Jiraiya cried, his face long, almost clinging to Hiruzen Sarutobi's leg.
"Or... or let me run a hundred laps around the Village!"
"No."
Hiruzen Sarutobi flatly refused.
"A true Ninja must not only possess great strength but also a noble ideology to match it."
"You, your ideology has a problem."
"When you've figured it out, then come talk to me about your 'aspirations.'"
Having said that, Hiruzen Sarutobi ignored him and turned to leave.
Leaving Jiraiya alone, wearing only a loincloth, in the biting night wind, feeling the malice from the entire world.
Ten thousand words... he couldn't even manage a five-hundred-word essay!
Watching Hiruzen Sarutobi's retreating back, Jiraiya was on the verge of tears.
Meanwhile, Hiruzen Sarutobi, walking along the path, was already overjoyed.
To deal with a perverted, hot-blooded idiot like you, cultural studies are the way to torment him.
Shift your enthusiasm for peeping into women's bathhouses to contemplating life and philosophy.
This stubborn stone needs to be carefully sculpted, so he doesn't go astray.
He looked up, his gaze directed towards another part of the Village.
That was the former dwelling place of the Senju Clan.
"One down, next up."
"Tsunade must still be grieving over her great-uncle's death."
His figure once again merged into the night.
