Samantha Blacklock
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But I Swear You're Really Pretty, Part 3 (Rewritten)
🕑 Added 2024-07-23 06:02:55 +0000 UTCThe First Time I Saw Myself In The Mirror
"If I could have chosen, I would have chosen to be a girl."
Avelyn stared at the floor, sad and ashamed. "Please, Lizzy, please listen to me. I know it's weird, but—"
"Continue."
"I'm... I'm not happy with my body. I truly hate that I was born a boy. I want to be a girl, and I know I'm not and will never be, but I can't stop wishing I could change somehow. I feel so much envy for you and other girls. I want to be a woman, just like you. I want to have long hair and wear pretty clothes and heels. I want to wear makeup, earrings, and cute bows on my hair. I just want to be pretty... But I am this instead.
“I wanted people to see me as a girl and treat me as such, but they were only abusive and aggressive towards me. Something hurts inside me when I see a pretty girl smile, for I'll never feel as comfortable in my skin as her. I feel miserable, I hate myself, and others treat me like thrash. I hate this. I despise this." Avelyn started to sob, making it difficult to understand what she said. "Th—This feeling has brought me so much misery; no one... no one would want to be near someone like me, but… I can't change. I only feel worse when I try to deny this part of me, and when I try to embrace it, I have to take my sister's clothes when she's not home because I can't have my own, and it feels so wrong. I wanted to seek help and tried to tell my parents how I felt, but they said all those awful things to me and started beating me. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?! I just want to understand because I don't know what to do anymore."
Avelyn looked up and saw Elizabeth with an angry expression.
"Maybe I'm just some weirdo after all..."
"What?"
"I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
"Did your parents beat you?"
Avelyn froze.
"The hell is wrong with them?!" Elizabeth asked furiously. "If they were worried about you, they should have talked to you. I knew they were awful; I was sure there was verbal abuse, but they went too far when the abuse became physical, way too far. I'm not surprised by your confession; I already knew this was what you were afraid to tell me, but I didn't realize things were so bad. I'm sorry for all you've been through. It's not fair. "
"Y—You knew? How?"
"Come on, you're an open book! Didn't I tell you? The things you say, how you react to certain things, how you talk about yourself, and even how you look at women. You don't look at them the way men do, and I mean it. You act as if it hurts you to look at them, but you still want to do it. Your eyes speak volumes. Besides, you're not the first trans person I met."
"Trans?" Avelyn wondered.
"I mean, sorry, I'm assuming things, but... To put it briefly, a transgender person is someone whose body doesn't match their mind or soul, if you will. Your mind may be feminine, but the others can only see your body, which is masculine. Does that sound like you? It can go the other way around, too; you may think someone you see on the street is a girl, but their mind is masculine, and they may be suffering as much as you, but in the opposite direction. I'm not the best to explain it since I don't know much about it. I only met a transgender boy years ago, but at least I know there's nothing wrong with you."
Avelyn was on the verge of tears.
"So," Elizabeth continued, "do you want to be my friend?"
Avelyn covered her face with her hands, walked towards Elizabeth, and was met by arms wide open.
A hug.
"If there's anything I don't understand, I'm willing to learn, so please stop hiding; you can be yourself here. I won't judge you. I am happy to know I can help you!"
"T—Thank you..." Avelyn whispered.
"Thank you for trusting me. Now..." Elizabeth ended the hug. "May I know your name?"
"Oh, well..."
"Before you say anything, I don't mean the name your parents gave you. Choose a new name; this is your chance."
"I... Always wanted to be called Avelyn..."
"Evelyn?"
"No, no... It's Avelyn, with an A"
"Avelyn," Elizabeth smiled. "That's such a cute name."
"Too pretty for someone like me".
"What? Of course not! Besides, I'm sure you focus your attention on 'pretty' girls," Elizabeth air-quoted, "but not every girl has long hair, wide hips, or even the same body parts. Heck, some girls don't even have the same chromosomes. If you like that name for you, then it's yours, so don't overthink it."
"Wha—Why... Why are you so nice to me? I’m… I’m sorry to be a bother..."
"There you go again. You're not a bother nor a burden, Avelyn. You just need a little help."
Avelyn blushed brightly and turned around to hide the smile on her face. "I feel dumb if you call me that!"
"Don't feel dumb. It's a pretty name, and it suits you."
"Thanks. Thank you so much."
"Finally," Elizabeth smiled, "I can call you by a real name. 'Avelyn'... May I call you Lynn too?"
"S—Sure."
"Great!" So, Lynn, there's no hurry, but I'd like to know you once you're ready."
"What would you like to know?"
"Oh, a lot of things, but right now, I'd love to see you, the real you."
"Wh—What do you mean?"
"Show yourself as you are, as you want to be. Don't pretend anymore, don't wear clothes you dislike. Do you want to wear a dress? Cute shoes? Makeup? Today's the start of your new life."
"I... I can try."
Avelyn took her backpack and carried it to the bathroom. Elizabeth waited in the living room for a few minutes until the bathroom door opened again. Avelyn stepped out, visibly nervous and insecure. She wore old skinny jeans, a women's black polo shirt, and a silver bracelet. She also had a padded bra to make the illusion of having breasts and finally wore the same sneakers she had before changing clothes. She put lipstick and eyeliner on the best she could, but she clearly didn’t have enough practice. Her hair and worried expression remained the same.
Elizabeth looked at her with her hand on her chin and serious eyes. Then, she walked towards Lynn.
"Hm. No," she said, " That's not you."
Avelyn seemed upset by those words.
"You're not happy. You're tense and anxious; you're struggling to let yourself be seen even though it's just me, and those are not the clothes you said you wanted to wear. Don't you have something else?"
"I—I have a dress, but..."
"I have a better idea. Come with me."
Elizabeth grabbed Lynn's wrist and took her to her room.
Behind the door were beige, empty walls that lacked decoration, except for a mirror on the opposite side of the room. There was also an unmade bed with dark-colored blankets, some of which reached the laminated floor on which some paper bags, clothes, and a stack of boxes rested. Some pieces of furniture helped give the impression that the room wasn't so empty: a wardrobe, a drawer, and a set of nightstands beside the bed.
Once inside, Elizabeth let go of Lynn. First, she took a bottle of Makeup remover and cotton pads from her drawer and removed the lipstick and eyeliner from Lynn’s face. Then, she looked inside her wardrobe and searched for something. Finally, Elizabeth took a short, black dress and gave it to Lynn.
"Put on this."
"A—Are you sure?"
"Of course! Come on, you'll look great."
Avelyn took the dress in her hands and stared at it briefly. The chest area was more rigid than the skirt, which consisted of a few layers of thin, soft fabric. The waistline and a red ribbon belt separated both parts of the dress.
Lynn looked at Lizzy again. "C—Could you... Turn around, please?"
"Oh, sure. Sorry. By the way, don't put your shoes back on when you're done."
While Elizabeth returned to search for something in her wardrobe, Avelyn took off her clothes. She immediately noticed the filling in her bra would be visible with the dress she had been given.
"Sh—Should I... Take off the bra?"
Without turning to see, Elizabeth replied, "It's a strapless dress, so the bra would look weird. I think you should take it off."
Lynn continued and finally got into the dress. She lacked the attributes to fill the front of it, but because the upper part of it was rigid, it pressed enough against her chest not to make it painfully obvious.
"You ready?" Elizabeth asked while Avelyn tied a bow with the ribbon.
"I think so."
Lizzy turned around and showed Lynn a wig she took out of her wardrobe.
"Sit on the bed and take your glasses off."
"Why do you have a wig?" Avelyn asked as she sat down.
"Remember I told you I had been sick? It was cancer. I lost my hair, the one thing I liked the most about myself when I was younger, because of the treatment. I always loved to have my hair reach between my waist and hips. It hurt my self-esteem, so I bought a couple of wigs, but wigs that are too long are a pain to take care of, even more than natural hair. This one will look good on you."
"How can you withstand so much? You've been through hell..."
"Oh, I don't know. Do me a favor and put your hair up," Elizabeth asked Lynn, holding the wig ready. "I've wanted to give up a lot of times, but I wouldn't want to throw all of the doctors' efforts away. I decided that if I were to die, I wanted to die doing something to make this a better world, so maybe I'm waiting for a chance."
"Please, don't," Avelyn replied as Lizzy fixed the wig. "You— You deserve to be happy. I can't imagine how much pain you've felt, but I think you can still be happy someday. You are so good and kind and amazing—"
"Ready!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "How does the wig feel?"
"I... think good."
"It looks great. You can keep it, I don't need it anymore. Are you going to grow your hair from now on?"
"Mhm, I've always wanted long hair."
"Nice. Let's hope it grows fast. Now, let's do your makeup. My skin tone is lighter than yours, so I don't have a foundation that suits you, but let's try something simple and natural. Actually, I think that's even better."
Elizabeth put several makeup items on the nightstand and started working on Avelyn's face. She applied blush to Lynn's cheeks, not that she needed it. Afterward, she did Lynn's eyeliner and put fake eyelashes on her.
While Elizabeth retouched her eyebrows, Avelyn noticed the dress barely covered her thighs. She slowly took the border of the dress' skirt and tried to push it down a bit.
Finally, Elizabeth applied lipstick to Avelyn's lips.
"We're almost there. Tell me, what shoe size are you?"
"I'm a size 27**."
"I knew it!" Elizabeth smiled excitedly, took a pair of shoes from beneath her bed, and placed them before Lynn. "We're almost the same height, so it's unsurprising. Put on these. They should fit you."
Lynn looked at the delicate shoes she had in front of her. They were black suede high heels, rounded at the front. The heel was thin and around 8 or 9 centimeters high. Once she wore them, Elizabeth stood before her and extended her hand. "Let's go."
Avelyn stood up with Lizzy's help. For the first time, she felt taller than Lizzy.
"Have you worn heels before?"
"Never. My sister's wouldn't fit."
Elizabeth giggled. "Then I'll hold you. It may be a bit difficult to walk on these at first. Don't worry, you'll learn. Okay, close your eyes and follow me." Elizabeth took Avelyn in front of the mirror. "Okay, don't open yet, and don't move!"
Avelyn could sense Lizzy moving behind her.
"Ready?"
"Y—Yes!"
"Okay… Open your eyes now."
Avelyn inhaled deeply, and shortly after the air exited her lungs again, her eyelids opened slowly, delicately raising her lengthened eyelashes.
The mirror came into her sight. She almost believed someone else was before her. Her vision was blurry since she wasn't wearing her glasses, but she knew the woman in front was gorgeous. Then, her brain made the connection. It was herself; all the beauty her eyes perceived was hers: the long hair, those big, round eyes, the cute blush, those long legs beneath the dress, and the shape created by its skirt and waistline.
She gasped and unconsciously clenched the dress skirt with her hands. Was that really her?
"This is how it should have always been. Why… why wasn't it always like this?" She thought.
"Ta-da!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she reappeared from behind Lynn with a bright smile on her face.
"Why wasn't it always like this!? Why did I have to hide? I wanted to die..."
The reflection became blurrier and blurrier every second as tears filled Lynn's eyes. Finally, she broke and cried uncontrollably.
"I can't go back."
—
"I'm so sorry. I ruined all of your work," Avelyn said in a broken voice as she wiped her tears with a tissue.
"Oh, don't say that. I can always do your makeup again, but I'll never forget how happy I was that I could give you this. I'm glad you liked it."
"I loved it!" Lynn laughed. "I... I had never felt so pretty. I know I am not, but—"
"No, no, no. Not again. You are beautiful, you know? Just a bit of makeup and the right outfit, and you're perfect."
"I don't... I don't think that's enough. There are too many things I want to change, but—"
"Then change! Work on it; no one will stop you now. I will support you, always. You, too, deserve to be happy."
Lynn smiled briefly and then looked down at the floor. "I—I... Want... I want to take hormones. I think they could help me."
Elizabeth nodded thoughtfully. "I have no idea what you should take, but I may know someone who could help..."
Avelyn approached Elizabeth and took her hands. "If you could take me to them, I'll owe you my life."
"I need to talk to her first, and... I'm not making any promises. She has this attitude, you know? But she's the only one I know."
"I hope she can help me..."
"It's getting late. I'll go prepare something for dinner."
—
The following day, Avelyn woke up on the sofa. She didn't fall this time.
Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen, even though the door to her room was open.
"Maybe she went outside to buy something," she thought. Then she saw a note and money on the table beside her.
"Hi, Lynn!
Sorry I didn't tell you anything, but I didn't want to wake you. My boss called, and I had to leave to take care of something. I'll be out for a few days.
Don't worry; I left your food in the refrigerator, and you're safe here. I also left money if you want to buy a snack or something.
I want to find you here when I'm back, but if you have to leave, please tell me where to find you. We have a lot of things to do together!
Here's my number: XXX-XXX-XXXX and you can also leave a note.
Love ya, sis!
P.S. Feel free to take anything you want from my wardrobe. When I get back, the apartment owner will visit us and bring a bed for you. In the meantime, you can sleep in mine. That sofa will destroy your neck if you keep sleeping there!"
Avelyn stood there with the note in hand, not knowing what to do.
—
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Notes:
**27 is a shoe size in centimeters commonly used in Mexico. Unlike other sizing systems, this has no difference between men's and women’s shoes.
Comments
Samantha Blacklock
Awwww, thank you!! ^^ <3
Samantha Blacklock
Thank you! ^w^
Sadie
I love it!
Kastastrophe
I'm so happy I finally got to read this. It really helps breathe more life into your characters!
