Samantha Blacklock
patreon
Bunny Lizzy + Music Chibies + More Emotes + Personal Update
🕑 Added 2024-09-01 08:31:20 +0000 UTCBunny Lizzy and the Hard-blushing Lynn emote are based on Channelcaststation's "Rabbit Hole" video.
And the band is complete! At least in chibies x) I'm also making these designs for the upcoming convention/expo I'll be attending in Mexico City to sell some merch. I'll have buttons, stickers, notepads, posters, postcards, and if everything goes right, keychains, standees, and a few other things x) I know a few of you have been waiting for keychains for some time, so I hope I can have some and ship them internationally.
With the expo, commissions, and all that, I've been working a lot, and honestly, I feel more productive than in the past. I'm still quite delayed, but I'm happy I think I'm doing so much because usually depression barely lets me do anything. Now, it's still not as much as I'd like to do, but hey, it's a lot better than usual xD I've been writing (chapters 5.5 and/or 6 will be ready this week, BTW), animating, and making progress on several drawings... And all that despite having another depressive episode last week because of an awful lot of dysphoria, followed by anxiety. But I'm managing.
If anything, the dysphoria/depression only made me feel more eager to draw and write Magnolia, a transgender woman who, unlike Lynn, started her transition a bit later in life, has lacked support, and doesn't quite "pass". She has a lot more negative thoughts I was afraid to show, but I think it's necessary, and, maybe a lot of people will find themselves in her. I mean, I definitely do.
Then the anxiety came and I'm afraid that, with how fast things move now, and with things like AI making it possible for anyone to generate images a lot faster while I spend so much time creating them, I'm falling behind. Also, at least someone has said they think I'm using AI and that made me a bit angry xD Because I spent so many years trying to get better at it and now some people think my drawings look like AI. If my drawings look too good, they must be AI. If the hands in my drawings look weird, that must be proof I use AI. Like, I don't need AI to draw ugly hands xD You can look at my older drawings, [1] [2] [3] the ones I posted waaay before the GenAI explosion and see that I've always been mediocre at drawing hands xD Now I think in a short time what I do will be of no value, but oh well, I can only continue and hope for the best. I wanted to change the world, but now I'm feeling useless x) Sorry. I should not talk a lot about my negative emotions.
In any case, I will continue trying for as long as I can, for these girls are the one thing keeping me alive x) They give me life, and I hope they've had at least a small positive impact in you as well.
Sorry I haven't messaged you or been too social, but with all of this I've found it a bit difficult ^^ But be sure that I read all of your comments and they really help me keep going, I appreciate them a lot!! <3
Comments
Firashai
Good luck with the expo! We're all here cheering for you and caring for you!
leah.in.moonlight
Your art is beautiful and meaningful, and it absolutely has worth even in the era of GenAI š©· you canāt substitute the emotion and lived experience. Your art is also a key part of what pushed me to actually transition. Seeing Lizzy + Lynn just tugged on my heart strings in so many ways, and I painfully longed for something like that. Out of all the trans OCs Iāve seen, I see so much of myself in Lynn. Your art has helped me to overcome my shame, and allow myself to work towards what I truly want. It also helped my wife, and I canāt thank you enough for that. š©µ For what itās worth, I recently had a similar anxiety attack about GenAI. My wife and I are making a game, and I decided to literally learn piano, composing, etc. so I could make the soundtrack myself. Right around that time, AI music generators came out, and I started to feel like it was all pointless. I felt like this for awhile, and it really discouraged me. But hereās the thing: I enjoy it. Iām making the soundtrack because writing music helps me heal. Even if I could go and āgenerate a soundtrackā, it could never heal the wounds that Iām writing about in my music. I know this isnāt revelatory or anything, but I just hope you know you arenāt alone, and your art will always have infinite reasons to exist even in an AI world. Thank you so much again for doing what you do. š¤
Lexilie
Ohhhhhhh Lizzy~ Your soul animal could very well be a bunny x3 I also really enjoy seeing Lynn all flustered and blushing ^^ And hoooraaaaay to the complete band!!! I wish you all the best for the upcoming expo! I'm absolutely certain that it will be a busy but also great time! So excited to see (and order x3) your merchandise! :3 Also can't wait to meet Magnolia~ I bet she will be a very interesting addition to the story. To be honest...from my point of view, it's just disrespectful that someone told you that your art looks like AI. That AI boom is really poisonous for the whole art/creative content community. Not because it exists and grows, but because how people use it. It's okay to play around with it, but there are lots of people who escalate the whole thing and I do not support those who sell/post AI art without marking them as such! Don't let this get to you. Your style improved so much and everyone can see how much effort and love you put into it! You have changed the world and you still will. It may not be on a global scale yet, but I bet you have a great impact on some people and their lives. You are not useless!!! I wish you all the best and I'm looking forward to your future posts :3
Dennis van Zuijlekom
omg, these are all so adorable! Glad to read you're doing better now. Good luck with the expo, and don't forget to take it a bit slower every once in a while! <3
Saga
Ui! I wish i could go to the Expo š I'm sorry to hear you're not doing really well, i hope that changes soon, keep your head up girl! Idk how anyone could think your drawings are AI... i'm sorry to hear that happened I'm sure the hype about AI won't be there for much longer Also, i don't think you really have to fear it, bc what the AI "Art" is always missing is all the love and emotions going into the art, which yours is definetly not missing in any way (hope that made sense) Take your time, don't stress over important stuff, and keep your head up, i'm sure you got this!
Clov
Cute chibis! Looking forward to all the new stuff coming up! And don't worry about any jerk that says your work is AI; I can tell you put a lot of hard work into your drawings. AI can't capture the human warmth that I can see in your work!
