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Chapter 10: The number one scholar in action
🕑 Added 2025-10-12 11:22:58 +0000 UTCBatman returns home after his day's work to a steaming meal. After the clown ended his day of crime, he had to buy groceries himself and go home to cook.
This was originally a meme that was circulated back on Earth, and Connors never expected it to be true now. It's just that it wasn't the Joker who walked next to Harley Quinn; it was him.
The Melon-eating System had so far given him no rewards in terms of physical fitness, which had led to a problem: he had almost died of exhaustion.
Before a "reward for physical fitness" came down, he had to use food supplements to cheer himself up. Otherwise, looking at Harley Quinn, who had been muttering about her "reward" all afternoon, Connors wondered if he could make it through the night.
Fortunately, as a connoisseur of food in his past life, Connors was an expert. He personally bought a bunch of ingredients and cooked a big, authentic meal in a Gotham City full of Western food. Tonight's meal ended with Harley Quinn's favorite spicy Szechuan chicken. With the girl finally falling into a contented sleep, Connors stood by the window in his pajama bottoms, smoking an after-thought cigarette.
And then, he saw Batman, who was suspected to be passing by again, staring at him through the window glass.
It wasn't raining in Gotham today, so with the moon outside, Connors was able to see the old man hidden in the darkness, even with the naked eye.
Mr. Wayne doesn't really like men, does he?
Connors was thankful that today he was finally no longer smoking his after-smoke naked. Otherwise, with this being the third time, he would really have to doubt Batman's motives.
Batman, outside the window, also had an incomparable headache. After he had caught the Joker and the Riddler during the day, he had used the Wayne Group's industrial apparatus to speed up the reconstruction of Arkham Asylum, while incidentally patrolling Gotham City at night. Passing by the street where Connors lived, he thought he would just sneak in and install a tracker, but who knew that the other person was also a night owl and would stand by the window smoking a cigarette every day.
Batman couldn't just knock on the window glass and hand the tracker to the other person. "Hey, with this, I can know your movements at any time."
It's urgent to contact Poison Ivy, he thought. It's enough to have the information before this guy becomes a threat. Batman glanced deeply at Connors and flew into the night with his cloak open.
[Today's Melon: The Laughing Man Incident (ongoing) - Batman captures the Joker] [Melon-eating reward: Lockpicking Master]
"…"
The physical fitness reward that Connors was looking forward to did not appear. As soon as the two words "Lockpicking Master" appeared, he fell silent on the spot.
"There is no lock in the world that I cannot open…"
Is this the ultimate master of a trade? Connors couldn't help but want to scratch his head. But soon, he recovered from his frustration. With this ability, no matter where he was locked up, whether it was Arkham Asylum or the Gotham Police Department, he could escape with the help of any tool he could find. He would never fear being locked up again.
Understanding this, Connors casually pulled a piece of toilet paper from the roll, then walked out of the bedroom and locked the door. He was going to experiment with this ability.
After folding the toilet paper several times into a stiff rectangle, he inserted it into the keyhole. A moment later, he heard a soft click, and the metal lock cylinder was opened by a soft piece of toilet paper.
Even as he succeeded, with the corresponding knowledge flooding his mind, Connors still found it outrageous. "Lockpicking Master" was truly worthy of the name. In theory, as long as the lock was not super-complicated, he could open it even if he just pulled out a few of his own hairs.
Back in bed, Connors, who was a little excited in his heart, used "the Green of All Things" to control the cactus of his next-door neighbor's house. It took him a long time to calm down and fall asleep.
Connors was awakened early the next morning by a shrill scream.
The screams came from next door. The family's hapless male owner had woken up to find that the Batman-shaped cactus had now grown into the shape of the Joker, and was so frightened that he let out a sharp roar.
Harley Quinn had woken up earlier than Connors. She rolled over, a wicked grin on her face, and pounced. Hours of frantic, athletic passion followed, a blur of tangled limbs and breathless moans.
Amid the sound of approaching sirens (another call from next door, no doubt), Connors led Harley Quinn downstairs. He intended to go find the Joker today, either cooperatively or using other means, and was determined to bring "The Man Who Laughs" incident to an end. He wanted to upgrade the rewards of the Melon-eating System to Lv. 2 as soon as possible, and let the rewards related to physical fitness arrive as soon as possible.
However, the plan could not keep up with the change. When he saw newsboys selling concert tickets on the streets of Gotham, with a long line in front of them, Connors knew he could not escape.
Harley Quinn snatched two tickets from the newsboy at high speed and excitedly showed them to Connors. The reason it was so fast was because she had neither lined up nor paid.
Connors looked at the newsboy's tearless expression and hurriedly stuffed him with two large-denomination bills before saying something like, "Keep the change."
When the concert starts, I'll sneak away quietly, he planned. If there is nothing new in Gotham City, it means that the Joker's subsequent plans have not yet begun, so I'll come back to accompany Harley. Otherwise, I'll let her stay here by herself.
Connors made up his mind. This morning with Harley Quinn had made him realize that the improvement in his physical fitness could not be delayed.
The concert took place in a gated stadium, surrounded by darkness with only the stage lights cutting through. The singer on stage was top-notch in terms of figure and appearance, and her singing voice was like the sounds of nature, but Connors's heart was not here.
Just as he was about to slip away from a mesmerized Harley Quinn, his Spider-Sense turned into a magnet again.
An innocent passerby sitting next to him was suddenly hoisted into mid-air by spider silk that appeared out of thin air and thrown into the outermost perimeter of the auditorium. The vacated seat was immediately occupied by "Spider-Silk" Cindy Moon, wearing her red, white, and black suit.
Because of Cindy's quick movements, no one else noticed anything strange around Connors, but Harley Quinn did.
The two women looked at each other, then each grabbed one of Connors's arms and pulled it into their respective embraces. After finding that they could not pull him free, they both moved closer at the same time.
[Eat melons today: Bigger or more elastic] [Submit?]
Connors couldn't help but start worrying about himself.
Batman, Bruce Wayne, looked at the on-screen message about the singer "Shayna" and couldn't help but start having a headache.
"Her identity on the surface is a singer who is touring around the world, and her true identity is a superhero… I hope she really just comes for the concert, and not to cause trouble for me."
His eyes turned to another screen displaying freshly gathered intelligence: Scarecrow was driving through the streets of Gotham in a tanker truck. According to the analysis, his destination was the scene of Shayna's concert.
Nearly 10,000 people were gathered there now. The consequences would be unimaginable if Scarecrow were allowed in with a tanker full of unknown substances like this. The better case was that it contained sewage, but the person driving was Scarecrow. The situation was certainly not much better; maybe it contained a full tank of "fear gas."
