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π₯ v2.7.5 Teaser 1 π₯
🕑 Added 2024-10-18 23:34:29 +0000 UTCSpaceA Encrypted Communication
Stardate 2682.11.34 AT
Sent By: Captain Remy, Commanding Officer of the Piledriver
Location: Alpha City, Planet Alpha, Alpha System
Mission: First Contact
For The Attention Of: Union High Command
The Peaceful Annexation of Alpha is going well, and the inhabitants appear highly receptive to the Union presence. Under exemplary First Contact Protocol, we have achieved total planetary domination with 0 SpaceA casualties, and have kept native casualties below the 20% Unfortunate Incidence threshold.
The previous authorities have agreed to supply Comfort Section with 60.000 additional personnel, and provide SciCorps with details of all their scientific discoveries. They have also offered a goodwill Tribute comprising: 3 cubic feet of stabilised Francium, a large collection of high-end contraband fashion, and one of the most comprehensive libraries of lesbian pornography yet discovered.
They also send personal gifts to every Member of the Union High Command. They are called Alphadogs, and are absolutely darling. You simply cannot resist them. Such adorable little doggies that I would do anything for. Anything. I'm a dog-dad now. There is nothing I would not do for my sweet little doggie-baby. They can even be trained to memorise your security codes and encryption keys! Such good little doggies.
Cpt. Remy, SCa
Comments
DC Burns
My the sparks are flying, along with the charred remains of Alpharian society
