LokiWasTaken
patreon
I want to give you a life update.
🕑 Added 2022-06-01 03:11:01 +0000 UTCFirst thing is first; The surgery did not, and cannot, happen during this time, because my loan was denied. Facing the fact that I was now waiting to die was too much for me to handle. Facing down a $25,000 surgery that I simply could not have was far too much.
I had a moment with severe mental health because of this. I was put in the hospital, evaluated, poked and interrogated. Isolated from everyone I know and love.
In the hospital, my mental health became worse. After an extended period of isolation, I looked towards self-harm. My mental health and psyche had deteriorated to a point that I could do this - Punch a steel door so hard that the bone in my hand snapped in half. And this is precisely what I did. I am now in a cast that goes up my forearm, and have to type with 1 hand.
I was discharged from the hospital once I had forced myself to calm down, and gather my thoughts and emotions. In terms of mental health, I am doing better at the moment. A relationship that I was quite attached to has been broken off, and I don't know what the future holds, but I am doing better. If not for me, then for the people who love what I create. If not for me, then for the people who want me to do it for me.
I will not stop mod development. Poise, Ashes, Climbing, they will all be finished in time, with more projects on the short horizon; while I wait. For death, for a miracle, for help, whichever comes first.
thank you all for listening, and for your support in these horrible, dystopian times.
I love you. Don't let the world dig your grave. Shove the world into it and run, as fast as you can.
Comments
Daniel Shehovsov
Please be well. Sending kind wishes your way. You deserve love. I don’t know you but you seem like a very sweet and talented person and the world is better with you in it.
Loki
you're actually gonna make me cry
Erin Zaharris
Hey girl. As a fellow trans woman take it from me. This world sucks and loves to shit on us at every opportunity eh? You are amazing however and show so much resolve through these horrid times. Rest your hand and don't overdo it. To be honest I originally was just gonna subscribe and cancel to download the poise mod real quick but I know I need to support you! Don't worry my patronage isn't going anywhere please heal your hand and take care of yourself emotionally!
