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Tyom the Birthday Boy
🕑 Added 2021-12-02 07:15:31 +0000 UTCYesterday was my birthday (33!), and if not for the efforts of my kind wife Katia and the cheeriness of my friends, online and offline, I’d easily called the preceding days the worst time of my adult life (I’ve had way more shit happen to me as a teen, I guess). And I don’t want to be too much of a bummer on twitter, but as a typical oversharer, I think I need to vent it somewhere?
Comics work is going nowhere, nor do I really want it to; my recent zines will only be printed a month late because of how deeply publishing and printing pipelines got fucked by Covid. The only kind of work I really feel enthusiasm for is my commissions (and “luckily”, I still have a ton of commission I owe to you all) and I guess my videogame work - that is, when I’m actually able to get deep into the process.
The balcony we spent the entire Summer working on is leaking when it rains, and we have 2 separate companies who were involved with it now trying to shift the blame and responsibility to avoid repair works. They’ve been at it since the middle of October, and neither me or Katia had any moral strenght to deal with the bullshit to begin with. But luckily, the winters is finally on, and it’s way easier to just ignore the problem until the snow begins to melt, right? Also, the people living above our apartment are terrible fucking cunts with a habit of partying every night, and I don’t even remember when was the last time I was actually able to sleep without 2 hours of rolling around in bed and then 3 or 4 times waking up during the night because of overwhelming anxiety and completely innocent puppy/cat sounds.
I’ve been going to therapy for a few months now, trying ro reflect on my damaging work/life balance practices, overinflated sense of false responsibilities and fucked up magical thinking that makes every minor mishap feel like a plight aimed by God directly at me. But with all the shit going on it’s actually hard to focus on normal things and believe in comprehensible reality, you know? Like how for example you plan out a nice little birthday for yourself, just a day off, nothing special - few hours of videogames, maybe watching a movie, finish editing the podcast you and your friends recorded back in July, and do it as a treat for YOURSELF… and then you miss on 10 second of your deeply beloved puppy nibbling on the only electrical cord you left unprotected in your room, and the damage causes a short cicruit, and after dealing with the electrician who of course wastes four hours of your life on nothing and predictably scams you for a nice chunk of money you are finally able to see that because of power outages your work laptop is now in a completely unusable state?
So yeah. If it was me alone, I don’t even know how I’d be able to handle it all. My soul just left my body at some point, causing a complete dissociation between physical “me”, my thoughts and my actions. And 2 days later I still have no idea what to do exactly (except for backing up the work files, of course - all that is safe and protected), and if I will be able to fix the computer or need to just buy a new one (using the money I saved for taxes, haha!) because I honestly don’t trust FOURTH party of people in a row to “fix” my stuff.
Ghhhh.
For more than 2 years now, this Patreon been one of the pillars of my security and stability in life, and I am endlessly grateful to you all. So thank you for sticking with me, thank you for bearing with my bullshit, thank you for your patience and understanding when it comes to your commissions and your print goodies, and thank you for reading this.
Cheers!
Comments
Artyom Trakhanov
Salud!
Does not matter ! I will buy your shit non the less ! You can't tell me what to do Trakhanov
Owlincomics
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! It has been a joy to watch you battle the forces of bad art. I salute you.
Artyom Trakhanov
I think I've actually just repaired the laptop, lol!
I WILL BUY YOUR SHIT UNTIL YOU GET OUT OF DEPRESSION
Artyom Trakhanov
I'll drink for that!
Reba Jacobs
Happy birthday and sorry to hear of the layers of things happening all at once, each one designed to weigh on a person. Hey, if there's ONE day of the year that shouldn't be a shit sandwich, right? Have a virtual birthday beer from Australia 🍺 and a toast to better times ahead.
Artyom Trakhanov
Big love to you and your dearests, Dave 🖤 You’re the real one, and I’m happy to know you! Your cheerful laughs snd thoughtful aproach in that Protector episode alone made the entire book worth to me more than the rest of the industry did. Give a big smooch to your shiba from ours, and wishes of good health to your lady!
Shitty years come and go. Try to enjoy the little things that make you happy. Have a wonderful time and a very happy birthday!
Artyom Trakhanov
Big thanks, man ❤️
Artyom Trakhanov
It’s gonna be good with friends like I have! ✊😤🖤
Artyom Trakhanov
I think I’m in a bit of a masturbatory phase where drawing itself is such a joy that I don’t really need too much “approval” for it, and usually approval and acknowledgement is a big component for striving to have your books published. Still, would love to have a proper “big” book out, one day XD
Artyom Trakhanov
🙏🏻😌🖤
Artyom Trakhanov
Yeah, I know, all these problems are not exactly martyr material :/ but I am 33 and that is a lot of letters!
"Surviving Jesus" autobiography
Jim Dougan
Oh, and Happy Birthday!
Jim Dougan
Fuck, man. I'm so sorry. Sending you good vibes and moral support. I'm so grateful for you and your work, you have such a unique voice and it's a real pleasure to have you making things in the world
I'd say "hang in there dude, it gets better!" But who tf knows. I do know that your talent motivates me to keep drawing, and you seem like a righteous dude. Also, as much as I want to see more comics from you, knowing you're actually (mostly) happy with where your art is is a huge blessing, and I hope it stays that way for a long, long time. Here's hoping this wave of bullshit passes soon, but don't ever hesitate to vent.
Dylan Huber
Oof. That sucks dude. I wish I could tell you it’ll all turn around but we both know there’s no guarantee of that. I suppose all I can really do is let you know that I’m just a dm away if you ever need to vent to someone. Also, I know if anyone can make it thru this shit it’s you. Oh, and happy belated birthday! Here’s to 33 more!
Dave Shevlin
Happy bday Artyom!! I hate to read all of this though. These past almost 2 years or so have been some of the hardest ever. I just want you to know youre not alone. Comics, online bullshit, and home renovation complications have also completely fucked me up too. Were mid chaos in our house now with renovations that need to be done as we keep finding more and more that must be done first. My wife basically cant leave the house with Covid as shes a two time liver transplant patient, has chronic kidney disease, is half paralyzed, epileptic, etc etc etc. Its just HARD getting through every damn day lately and the world does not seem to want to make it better for either of us. The comfort, like you, has been shutting ourselves in with our little Shiba who has no eyes, and just relying on each other. Im in a very similar boat. Ive had repeated bouts of this disassociation to even be able to deal with life lately. So know the world isnt out solely to get you two, its also after us!! I do want to note that meeting you during my heavy Twitter and "comics press" (ahahah what a joke) era was a real highlight and has brought a lot of joy to my life. Im sorry comics and social media are so depressing and going nowhere. I heavily feel it too. But you really really brought some inspiration and mass joy to my life, my podcast pal Dannys life and countless others' with the work you do and just by being you. Hopefully shit turns around for you or at least gets to somewhat more normalcy. Im glad you vented, it needs to get out. I know were not like SUPER close and have vast differences but I do think were two of a kind and I want you to know Im always here for you for anything. Thanks for this Patreon and everything you do man. We love and appreciate you
Guy Pradel
I'm sending you all the good vibes I can gather, and I wish you a good 34th year.
Artyom Trakhanov
Thank you, brother! <3
