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Girlfriend Problems - A Transition Story - Part 9
🕑 Added 2023-12-14 12:39:16 +0000 UTCThe week passed quickly. I was sure to get enough food shopping done before they arrived. I knew all the things they loved to eat. I went out to Bed Bath and Beyond and got extra linen and towels. Of course, I was used to keeping my place very neat and clean. But I was especially diligent in making sure that everything was done domestically that could be done.
Friday came faster than I thought. I prepared lasagna and a salad for them. I knew that they would probably be hungry when they got in. I also made a fruit salad and put a bottle of wine in the refrigerator. I also made antipasto to eat before dinner.
I was excited to see my mother. I hadn’t seen her for over a year and a half. My mother and father were different even though they practiced the same religion. My mother was a lot more gentle and loving than my father. Some of the memories I have were mostly positive. As a child, she would coddle me and even spoil me at times. No matter what differences one might have with family, it’s always good to have positive reinforcement from them.
Seven o’clock rolled around and I gazed out of the huge windows of my loft apartment looking out for them in anticipation. The one thing I loved about this place was the large windows and light it provided me. It was a huge space that, with the help of Janelle, was decorated very nicely. I had bought a bunch of plants to liven up the place. I also had pictures of my Mom Dad and Kiera placed around the apartment. But none of me as a boy. Only a baby picture of me with Kiera that I had in my bedroom.
Soon the doorbell rang, and I ran down the stairs to open the door. There they were standing looking at me in shock.
“Kenny?” said my mother.
“Oh My God!” gasped Kiera. “You look gorgeous!!!” Kiera grabbed me and hugged me.
My mom just stood there with bags in her hand, “Oh my! No wonder you don’t want to be a boy anymore. Look at you. You’re beautiful!”
“Well, Hi Mom! Nice to see you too!” I said laughing at my own sarcastic remark.
“Don’t just stand there, come on up!” I said taking all the bags out of my mother’s hand.
“This doesn’t even look like an apartment building!” she commented, walking up the industrial-sized stairs. “How many flights up is it? We don’t have to walk too far do we?”
“No Mom, my place is right here to the left.”
“This looks like some kind of factory or office building or something.”
“It was Mom. It’s a loft apartment.” I said.
My mom in her typical manner was inspecting every part of the hallway. She made her way down the hall, Looking very much like a suburban mother, complete with polyester pants, a blue button-up, a collared shirt, and short-cropped hair that was starting to gray.
I opened the door and Mom and Kiera’s mouth dropped open.
“Wow!” said Kiera. “This is fantastic! There’s so much more room. It’s so spacious and you have a view! Kathy this makes your last place look like a hole in the wall!”
“Thanks, Kiera,”
My mother just stood there in the middle of the living room area looking around.
“Mom! What do you think?”
“I don’t know what to think. You’re barely 21 and you’ve managed to do quite well for yourself.”
“Thanks, Mom” I came over and hugged her. “Here let me take your bags into my bedroom. You all will stay in my room. Unless of course, you don’t want to sleep with each other. There’s a bed in the living area. Kiera if you feel uncomfortable you can sleep there and I can crash on the couch.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I can sleep with Mom.”
“Okay, it’s settled.”
“This is a beautiful bedroom. And this apartment; it’s so clean and well organized and well decorated. I just can’t get over it. I remember when you used to just throw your clothes in the corner as a teenager. My, you really have changed!” said my Mom, shaking her head.
“Come, I’ve cooked dinner for you.”
I led them to the kitchen area where I had a platter of antipasto on the table with small plates. “You all start with this while I heat up the lasagna.”
“Lasagna! You know how to cook lasagna?” My mom exclaimed.
“Of course!”
“Kenny, where did you learn how to cook like this?”
“Mom!!!!” said Kiera angrily. “It’s Kathy now. Not Kenny,”
“I’m sorry, I mean Kathy.” Mom said, correcting herself.
I served them dinner and we ate and talked. We drank wine and talked some more. Mom brought up memories and told stories of how we were when we were young children. She said that Kiera always protected me. I found that to be interesting because she seemed to still be exhibiting the same behavior.
The next day we woke up and we decided we would go downtown Philadelphia. We visited the Liberty Bell, went by the Museum of Art with the famous steps where they shot the Rocky movie, and then eventually made our way to get some of those famous Cheesesteaks from Geno’s in South Philly. It had been a long time since the 3 of us were all together. Growing up, we often spent a lot of time together since my father worked 6 days a week.
Sundays were church days and as much as I despised going to church, it was the only time the entire family was together. My father was hard-nosed and strict. Even before they decided to join this new church, we were made to learn Bible passages. It seemed as if the only thing my father would do was work and go to church. My mother on the other hand was softer and more understanding.
If Kiera or I got a bad grade in school or got into some sort of trouble she would soften the blow by telling my father only half-truths. As we rode the bus back to my house we sat together talking.
“So Mom, what do you think about my new city?”
“It’s very lovely. I enjoyed our day,” She answered.
“Do you think Dad will ever be able to bring himself to come visit me?”
“I don’t know. I think that’s going to take some time my dear.”
Kiera and I sat silently looking out the window probably thinking about what my mother just said.
Later that evening the 3 of us ate dinner then sat on the couch together and watched a movie. The next morning it was time for them to leave. I cooked a huge breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a fruit salad.
“This is delicious!” My mother commented. “I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Yes Kathy, this really is good,” commented Kiera.
“You know I’m really impressed with you, Kenny. I mean Kathy. Forgive me. It’s gonna take some time getting used to calling you Kathy.”
“That’s alright Mom,” I said, as I sipped my coffee. “It’ll take some time but you’ll get used to it.”
“I have a question for you though.”
“What’s that Mom?”
“So does this mean you like girls or boys?”
“Hmmmm. That’s a tough one Mom. I thought I did like girls growing up. But I think I like boys, actually men much better. I stay away from boys. I mean, I’m saying men because I don’t have time for silliness or anyone who’s not serious.”
“So do you have a boyfriend?”
“Sort of. But nothing serious, Mom,” I answered vaguely.
“Now, I want to be very clear. I still believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as our savior and I do still believe in the Bible. But the Bible was written by men who lived centuries ago. But I believe that God loves all his children unconditionally; and if God can love all of his children so can I. I understand everything about why and what you’ve become but I do believe as a mother I should love you unconditionally.”
Kiera and I sat there around the half-empty plates in shock. Did this mean my mother accepted me? I got up from my chair with my red kimono robe flying open and hugged my mother.
“Oh thank you, Mom! That means so much to me.” I said in a wave of loving emotion.
Kiera jumped in, “Kathy, I wanna say that. I am so proud of you. You have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. I’m so proud of the person you’ve become and the person you’re becoming. I couldn’t have asked for a better little sister.”
“You all are gonna make me cry!” I said with tears welling up. “This was the one thing I was worried about in all of this. It was the prospect of losing my family.”
“Don’t you worry? We just have to bring your father around. I think he will. Just give him some time.”
“Okay, Mom.”
We finished up and I got up and started doing the dishes with Kiera helping me.
“Are you going to be okay Kathy?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Promise me something?” asked Kiera.
“What?”
“You’ll think about coming home for Thanksgiving.”
“Okay, I will. But you have to work on Dad. For God’s sake tell him to slow down and do something besides work and go to church.” We both laughed.
Soon after they left. I cleaned and prepared clothes and did my hair for work the next day. I sat and stared out of the huge loft window into the night thinking of how great life could be and all of the things that were ahead of me in the future.
Life Continues To Change,
The months went on. Summer turned to Fall and the weather started to turn brisk again. Working at Levine Plastic Surgery was wonderful and I was assured frequently that I was doing a fantastic job. I guess that my understanding of medical terminology, and patient care made my job easier. Also, being a patient helped me develop empathy towards those coming in for procedures.
The first week of October brought my final step towards getting my name changed. I finally had a court date. Janelle came with me to the county courthouse where we met a lawyer from the center who did pro bono for the LGBTQ center in Philadelphia. After sitting in the courtroom listening to cases being called, finally, my case was finally up.
“Docket number 0627914. Called the bailiff. Kenneth Michael Hunter.”
I rose out of my seat along with the lawyer, Alan, who was a trans man.
Then the judge spoke, “Ms Hunter. Is it your desire to change your name to Katherine Michaela Hunter?”
“Yes your honor,” I answered in the most feminine voice I could muster.
“Seeing that you have fulfilled all of the requirements to change your name to match your desired gender, which in your case is a good idea, I hereby grant you your name change. Please see the clerk on the way out to get your paperwork.” said the judge. “Next case.”
Janelle ran and hugged me, Alan gave me a peck on the cheek. It was a momentous occasion.
“Okay, Katherine Michaela Hunter! I love that name! I like it better than Kathy. Katherine has a nice ring to it.”
I thanked Alan and bid him farewell. Janelle and I headed out of the courthouse and to her car.
As we walked Janelle announced, “I’m taking you to lunch. Time to celebrate!”
Janelle wielded her Mercedes and headed towards the restaurant. On the way, she was quite excited.
“This is a momentous occasion. How do you feel?”
“It feels great. Now I can finally get my license and have the proper documents in case I need to show them without getting outed!”
“Get your license and your passport as soon as you can. You can also get your gender marker changed on your license. But you’ll have to go see a therapist and get a letter to present at Motor Vehicles. Now for your passport, you’ll have to get your birth certificate changed. That's a little harder. Though once you have that letter from the therapist you can use it for both.”
“I’m so glad you’re here to walk me through all of this Janelle. Thank you for supporting me.”
We continued to ride toward the restaurant. Something occurred to me that I never understood so I decided to ask her, “Janelle, can I ask you something?”
“What is it, my dear Katherine?”
“How did you meet Denise?”
“Oh, I met her at a physician's conference here in Philly.”
“Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that you seem from very different worlds.”
“Well, honestly I don’t have that much in common with her. But Sheila and Denise were both at the conference and with the Obstetrics practice that they work at. We had a break and went out during the conference and they invited me to their girl’s night out a couple of times. I went and that’s when the subject of you came up.”
“But that conference was way over 2 years ago.”
“Yes, it was. It was about 6 months before I met you.”
“Oh really? What did she say?”
“During one of the girl’s nights out that I attended. She was drinking more than usual that night and broke down and started crying. She started spilling the beans about you to Sheila and Jennifer. I was listening to her and was thinking that these women don’t know anything about being transgender or the difference between a crossdresser, a gay man, and a trans woman. Sheila and Jennifer thought that Denise should kick you out on the street. Now mind you, I never really liked either one of them. They’re very petty and close-minded. I reasoned with Denise. I told her that often many Gay, Trans, and other Queer people try to live a straight life. After a while of hiding and stuffing their feelings, they explode with anxiety and at some point, it all comes out. I did this very tactfully to not reveal my trans status.”
“How did you do that?”
“I just told her that Richard has a lot of Trans women as patients.”
“Oh, I see,” I said. “I was feeling as if she was a part of some nefarious plan. So how did she react to what you told her,”
“Nefarious plan?! After talking to her the next day. I convinced her not to kick you out into the street. To me, you just needed a little push to make a decision as to what to do with your life. After all, when she confronted you with the prospect of wearing women’s clothing and pushing you to present yourself as Kathy, you decided to go with it.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t leave me a choice.”
“Yes, she did Kathy. You could have just gone back home to live in Blairstown. Think about it. Why didn’t you just move back home or go rent a room somewhere.”
I had never considered that idea. I had never considered moving back home.
Janelle continued, “Any other “man” would have never agreed to those arrangements. You took to it like a bee to honey. That’s how I knew that you were definitely a trans woman and that you just needed some help and a little push. Denise provided the push and I provided the help and direction.”
I thought about what Janelle just told me. In some way, I felt that there was a plan in place. But somehow I felt appreciative.
Janelle continued, “Think about it, Kathy. You protested for about a day. After that, you were all in. You're a good person Kathy and you deserve to be happy. With the fortune and access that I’ve been able to achieve it’s been my goal to be able to help other young trans girls along the way.”
“And I appreciate it, Janelle,” I said, bending over to kiss her on her cheek. “You know I never thought I could actually become a woman. It was something so far-fetched to me that I had blocked it out of my mind for a long time. And you’re right, after Denise explained herself to me it did make sense. Even our intimacy suffered but I didn’t know why. Now that I’ve had the opportunity to be intimate with men, I enjoy it so much more! My god!”
“I knew it, girl!” Janelle responded.
“Have you talked to Denise recently?” I asked.
“No, I haven’t. She called me last month. I tried returning the call several times but she hasn’t answered.
“Interesting. I think I owe her a call. I’ll try to reach out to her. I want to thank her.”
“You know she hasn’t seen you since Richard did your surgeries.”
“I wonder, maybe we should have a girl’s night out with Denise?”
“Hmmmm, that would be interesting!” laughed Janelle.
It all made sense now. I decided I would reach out to Denise to see how she’s doing. She deserved that much from me.
We pulled into the restaurant and had a wonderful lunch together. I had taken the entire day off. Janelle dropped me at home where I thought and prepared for my next move. I did call Denise when I knew she would be finished from work. We decided that we would meet and have lunch together on Sunday.
Denise and Katherine Meet,
That Sunday we decided to meet downtown close to my house. We met at El Vez which was voted the top ten restaurant in Philadelphia. I dressed nicely but not formally. I wore a pair of nice jeans with knee-high boots a knit top and a short jacket, and my leather Kate Spade purse hung over my shoulder. I wore my hair out. I had curled it with a curling iron on the ends to give it a little drama.
My makeup was minimal but just enough for a Sunday afternoon. I sat waiting at a table for two for her to come in.
I watched the goings on inside of the restaurant as a few leaves blew down the street in the early fall wind. Soon a woman who looked like Denise but was a little more heavy-set appeared through the door looking around. She appeared not to recognize me sitting at the table. I got up and said, “Denise?”
Her mouth dropped open, “Kathy?”
She walked to the table and we hugged as she arrived where I was.
“My God! I don’t even recognize you?”
“What do you think?”
“Jesus! You’re freaking gorgeous!”
“Thank you! I should actually thank Janelle too.”
“Her husband did a little work on me,”
“A little? Ya think? I’m jealous of you, you little bitch!” said Denise laughing.
“You look a little different too.”
“Yeah, I know. Look,” said Denise as she raised her sweater revealing a little bump in her belly.
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yep!”
“How far along are you?”
“4 months,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Congratulations! I would say let’s make a toast but I’m sure you can’t drink at this point.”
“Nope, but I can toast with water.”
“Okay. Here’s to you and Bob and your new baby! Praying for you and a healthy baby.” We clicked our glasses together; her water and the wine that I was drinking while I was waiting.
After we ordered our food we continued talking. It was very amiable.
“Denise, I wanted to invite you out to thank you in person for bringing something out in me that I had suppressed for a long time. Something that I hid and denied in myself since I was 5 years old. I also want to say that I’m so sorry that I hurt you. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you I will. I’m in a better position now to make amends to you.”
“Oh come on, there’s nothing that I need from you. Your apology is definitely accepted. I’m just glad you’re happy.”
We ate and talked for a while and after we finished eating. I pulled out a little box and gave it to her. “This is for you. Please accept this gift from you as a token of my appreciation to you.”
She opened it to reveal a very thin gold necklace with a small pendant on it that read on the back ‘To Denise for all your kindness’.
“This is beautiful! Thank you Kathy!” said Denise reaching over the table to give me a kiss on the cheek.
Our little lunch date went well and I was so happy that she was doing well. I felt good as I went back to my loft apartment knowing that that chapter of my life was officially closed.
Moving Forward,
As I began this new chapter in my life, I really started to settle in at work and my life outside of work. It was now officially Fall in the Northeast. The weather became much cooler and the color of the trees changed. I began to think about the prospect of another winter commuting from close to downtown out to the office during the winter months. I obtained my driver's license the month before; a process that was fairly easy and quick. I did appreciate the clerk at the DMV not making a big deal about the change in ID and gender marker. She remarked, “So you got married?”
“No Ma'am,”
She looked at my old license and then realized that I once was Kenneth M Hunter (Male) and now was Katherine M. Hunter (Female). “Wait this was you? OMG! This was an unbelievable transformation! You’re so pretty!” She processed my paperwork quickly and put me ahead of the line. I was pretty happy with my new license and kept it as a badge of honor.
I was proud to present it anytime I had to in different situations. Because winter was coming I knew that I didn’t want to catch the bus out to the suburbs and then reverse commute for work. I decided to buy a car; finally!
After looking and reading up on the subject, I decided on getting a Nissan Maxima. It was nothing fancy. Just something to get me back and forth to work and to shopping trips for groceries as the better grocery stores did not exist in the downtown area. I was able to pay almost half of the money down since I had substantial savings in the bank. With my job at Richard’s Plastic Surgery Practice getting credit was not a problem. Janelle co-signed for me and I was all set to go.
At this point, Bill called less and less and I wasn’t in the least bit bothered by the infrequency of seeing him. Giselle told me that she saw him at the Golden Slipper a couple of times with some younger trans girls. In return, I decided to play the field myself from time to time. I mainly dated guys that I met at either the Golden Slipper or another club downtown. I had no lack of attention from men; even as I went about my day-to-day business.
At this point, I was truly growing into my womanhood. Between the surgery, the continued hormones as well and the fact that I had taken up Yoga and a little jogging my look became even more and more beautiful. Also, my clothing choices were more in line with what most women wore. I fit into my role as a young woman in society.
At this point, no one ever questioned if I was a man or a woman. I became totally “passable”. However, most of the guys I dated were guys that were fetish dates; “Bugaroons”. In other words, guys fetishized trans women but were reluctant to form any kind of real relationship with them.
I started to realize that I would never have a real lasting relationship with a man unless I got my bottom surgery. I watched both Giselle and Chelsea, both beautiful trans women go through relationship after relationship all because they opted not to have gender-confirming surgery (or GRS - Gender Reassignment Surgery).
I was determined to seek this out. I started researching various surgeons online and also spoke with Janelle to get her recommendations. She gave me the names of Dr. Kathy Rumer and Dr. Sherman Leis. Dr. Leis was local to the Philadelphia area. Dr. Rumer was a little bit further west of Philly.
Janelle told me. “Girl, I opted to have my surgery in New York. He did a good job but I didn’t think of the aftercare. I would go to someone that you can get to in case there were any complications. I know a lot of the girls that get surgery in Thailand but if anything goes wrong then you would still need to find someone here in the States. Is it okay if I ask Richard for a recommendation? He knows all of these surgeons. It’s too bad Richard doesn’t do them.”
“Could you please? That would be wonderful!”
After Richard’s recommendation, I settled on Dr. Rumer whose practice was a little further than Dr. Leis's. She also accepted the insurance I had through Richard’s office. However, I would need to see a therapist regularly for 6 months. To have GRS I would have to live in my gender role for at least 2 years. By the time 4 months were up, I would have surpassed that milestone.
I got started by seeing a therapist recommended by the LGBTQ Center. They recommended Brenda Conway, a therapist who had been specializing in therapy for LGBTQ for over 12 years and focused on trans health. My first meeting with her was lengthy as I told her my story.
It was mainly a fact-finding process dealing with my medical and family history. She was easygoing and friendly. What really struck me was that she must have been barely 40 years old. She wasn’t some 70-year-old man who was stuck in the past. I continued to see her every other week.
It was great seeing a therapist which I hadn’t previously done. Talking to her reaffirmed my sense of being. It was reassuring to talk to someone who had a neutral view of my situation. Even though I hate to admit it, I did have second thoughts about my transition from time to time. I sometimes questioned myself whether I was doing the right thing.
But Dr. Conway really made me feel at ease and supported my decisions. She even went as far as saying that I could have skipped the part about trying to date a woman. But she understood that many trans women go through trying their best not to transition even if it meant dating or even marrying a woman to try to cure themselves. I guess I fit into that category. I no longer desired to be with a woman. At this point, I was very turned on by men.
As the Fall months turned colder I was happy that I had purchased a car. The thought of taking the bus on those cold, frigid mornings didn’t leave me with a good feeling. It was so much faster to get to work. It was the week after Thanksgiving when I went in only to find out that Doris, the office manager, was hospitalized the night before. Since I was her assistant all of her work fell on me.
It was a little bit of a crisis situation as I had been taking most of my direction from her. I had to learn really fast how to navigate my way through her job duties as well as mine.
It was the first stressful situation at the job that I had. To top things off I was also responsible for making sure I continually upgraded the computer system in the office to guard against malware and other viruses that could jeopardize the identity and finances of our patients.
Many of those patients were very well off. I managed though and waited for Doris’ return. We found out, however, that Doris had a mild heart attack and would be taking a couple of weeks off and wouldn’t return until after the holidays.
Comments
Jessica Maddison
I love this story... And find it full of Important Information.. On Transitioning...
Brianna Demonet
Way to go Kathy, stepping up at every milestone. Now you have a chance to prove yourself in the office too. Go girl!
