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After Wife's Death - Becoming Her - Chapter 9
🕑 Added 2024-11-29 14:14:17 +0000 UTCOTHER CHAPTERS | ALL STORY LIST
The walk to the powder room forced me to concentrate on my heels and dress again, and as a result, I was more or less under control by the time we got there. I was a mess, though, as I saw immediately in the mirror. Even in absentia, Lonna was still taking care of me, and I found what I needed for emergency repairs in the elegant little purse.
I suppose it wasn’t up to Shannon’s standards, but after a few minutes, I was back to something I wouldn’t have thought possible just a few weeks before.
Since I was there already, I decided I had better take advantage of the facilities. Which were obviously designed by a man. Damn, the cubicle was too small, even if it was bigger than any I had ever seen in a men’s room (and a lot cleaner). I started trying to wriggle that long gown up my hips. And up. And up.
And there was still more of it hanging down, flipping around like it was positively anxious to trail in the water.
When I finally got the hem high enough, I had to hold it with one hand, work my panties down with the other, and hold my purse with . . . See the problem? Why couldn’t they put a little shelf in there? And a little more room.
And a floor that wasn’t so slick that I just knew I was only an incautious breath away from having those spike heels slip out from under me and dump ME in that water even if I kept the hem of the dress out of it. Lord, at least I finally made it off my feet.
Oh my, now that was a relief. I almost groaned out loud, then I heard some other women come into the room.
At first, I froze. But their chatter went on without interruption. I realized that if they saw my feet under the stall door there had better be an understandable reason for it. So I continued taking care of business, though quietly.
Apparently, they only wanted to use the mirror. Well, perhaps that wasn’t quite correct. Their words made it clear they also wanted a bit of girls-only space to be catty.
"Did you see that . . person on the arm of that handsome lawyer?"
"How did you know he was a lawyer?"
"Oh, he’s Weisenheimer, the guy who’s going after that delivery service. It was on TV. And he’s married!"
"To that dark-haired girl he was with?"
"Does she look like a wife to you, with all that hair and those killer heels? If she’s married, I’m Liz Taylor."
"Well, this is just a fundraiser. The lawyer’s wife might have been busy, or maybe the woman is a writer."
"Oh, puhleeze. Women like that do not have time to write. They’re too busy . . . working."
"What do you mean?"
"Why, I should think it was obvious. That’s a working girl if I ever saw one. Not a cheap one, mind you. I’ll bet she never takes money for her ‘services’, but I’ll bet she didn’t buy those pearls herself."
The woman’s voice dropped, as though she were letting the other one in on a secret. "You can always tell their price, you know, by the cost of their outfit. She’ll need to get back at least the price of that gown and she’s only got one night to do it."
"Oh, I think you’re just imagining things. She looked nice to me.
Very pretty, but that’s not a crime."
"Listen, dear, if my husband is in the crowd, looking that good IS a crime. Even if he never says anything directly about her, I’ll bet I hear about letting my hair grow longer. It’s just unfair.
No sugar daddy ever bought me pearls like that, and if I spent as much in the beauty salon as she obviously did, you can be sure I’d hear about that, too!"
"Well, you did cut your hair pretty short, when you got married.
I’ll bet it was almost as long as hers must be before that."
"Of course it was. That’s how you catch a man, but after that, there’s no need to put up with the inconvenience. Real wives don’t bother."
That was the last straw. My hair, um, my wig was exactly like Trish’s had been, and for all that Katy almost always wore her red hair in a ponytail, it was not much shorter. No one was going to put down my Trish without an argument.
I was angrily straightening out my clothing, thinking about what I was going to say to that sanctimonious bitch when I realized what I was about to do. I could just see it now. I’d walk out of a stall in the lady's powder room, dressed as a girl, and tell her that I had been married to a beautiful woman who took pride in her long hair, and who loved to look good for me even after we got married.
Oh, and she was dead and I just happened to look almost exactly like her. Right. That would work well. It would be a race to see if they sent for the cops first, or the men in the white coats.
Instead, before I opened the stall door I took a deep breath (all right, as deep as I could in that corset), and calmed myself down. Plastering smile number 14 on my face, I sauntered out to the vanity counter and washed my hands.
All the while, I acted as though I were the only person in the room. I used one long-nailed finger to wipe a non-existent smear of lipstick away, then smoothed my sleek dress, giving a little shimmy as though I enjoyed the sight of my own body. Then I started pulling on the long gloves.
The two women had stopped talking when they realized there was someone else in the room, and then their eyes widened in shock when they realized just who that person was. It was obvious which one had been so adamant about my ‘profession’.
She wore her hair in a boy cut that was shorter than mine had been in years, and when she had recognized me a half-sneer, half-wince had settled on her face. The other woman was sort of neutral in everything, and I have to admit I discounted her in my mind almost as soon as I saw her.
By the time I started on my glove, they had recovered a bit from their shock and were gathering up their own things. I didn’t say anything as they turned to go until they were almost to the door. Only then did I let my eyes look at them through the mirror?
"Actually, I did buy these pearls myself. And the dress." (True, of course, though I had bought the pearls for Trish.)
I let my eyes roam up and down their own clothes, then - still keeping smile number 14 firmly in place - said, "But it’s nice that one can still find such bargains at the Salvation Army."
To her credit, the neutral one looked a bit guilty. The other one, Ms. Sanctimonious, sniffed as though she was above such pettiness, but she continued her escape without another word.
I stayed a moment longer, trying to calm down from the tension of an argument that hadn’t really happened. My fingers were shaking so badly that I didn’t have much choice in the delay. It took forever to get my bracelet back around my wrist after I finally got the gloves smoothed into position. When I left the powder room, I was cool, calm, and elegant again.
As soon as I was back in the main ballroom, my anger at the biddies and their opinion of me which was in fact an opinion of Trish as well since we were so much alike in appearance - threatened to consume me again. I saw the two women moving toward a couple of middle-aged men and was seriously thinking about heading after them when Bud came up.
"Are you okay now?" he asked. It was only then that I remembered I had been in tears when I went into the powder room.
"Dance with me," I ordered.
"What? Uh, okay," he said, raising an eyebrow at a question I wasn’t quite ready to answer. He parked his glass on a nearby table and led me to the dance floor.
There was a second of hesitation as I almost lifted the wrong hand, but in another second we were moving in time to a moderately quick melody. Moderately quick for a ballroom, of course. It would still count as a ‘slow’ dance in most situations.
And the music was not too loud for conversation, so it wasn’t long before Bud started his interrogation.
"You want to tell me what went on in there?"
"Did you know you’re stepping out on Katy, and with a high-priced hooker?" I asked, still too angry to make it a joke.
"I’m what?"
"You’ll understand if I’m a bit more put out by what they said I was."
"Is that what they really said? I mean, is there any chance you misunderstood?"
"Not much. It seems I am a ‘working girl’. She even decided she could estimate my price."
I was finally calming down a little. Music has charms to soothe the savage breast and all that. I relaxed a bit it wasn’t really something I did consciously but I could feel it happen and sighed. "It’s a good thing you’re a rich lawyer.
At least she didn’t think I was cheap. Quite the contrary, in fact."
"Who was it?"
"That overweight woman over there in the too-bright green and yellow dress. The mousy woman in the black gown was with her."
"Ooh, they really did get your claws out. Meow, meow."
"I don’t need that from you," I snapped.
"Why not? It’s a sign you’re succeeding."
"What?"
"Think about it. You’re angry because a woman thought you were too pretty for a ‘nice’ girl. And you’re showing it with the sort of sniping at her appearance that makes it clear she’s not as attractive as you are. Would Tim have even cared about the opinion of some old biddy?"
"Well, the way she said it, she was putting down Trish, too, and Katy."
"Oh?"
"Yes. She was saying that real wives don’t bother to look good. As though Trish and Katy were still on the hunt or something."
"She’s just justifying letting herself go, and cutting her hair," Bud said, looking at the woman again.
"I figured that out for myself, counselor.
But it still makes me mad."
"So, you’re mad because other women see you as a threat. That sounds like a pretty close approximation to taking pleasure in looking pretty, which was sort of the point of this evening, wasn’t it?"
"Oh. Yes. Yes, it was, wasn’t it? I still don’t feel anything special, nothing but embarrassment, when men come on to me, though."
Bud grinned and said, "Well, you’ll understand if I don’t find that to be a big problem."
Just then the song ended and we broke to clap politely. Bud’s eyebrow was asking if I wanted to continue when Jason Michaels appeared out of the crowd.
"I hope you will show that you don’t hold my tactless comment against me by consenting to dance with me," he said.
"Oh, uh," I stammered, looking at Bud. But his grin was threatening to do permanent damage to his cheek muscles and he was already stepping away.
The music started and Jason lifted his hand. Manners took over and I nodded, reaching toward him.
In seconds, I discovered a very interesting distinction that had never occurred to me before. There is a difference between dancing well and having fun dancing. Bud danced well. Jason had fun. By their standards, Tim had done neither.
And Jason swept me up in the fun with him. We twirled and we swayed and we paused for just a dramatic heartbeat before swooping off again. By the time the dance was over he was guiding me through maneuvers more intricate than any I had imagined trying, and yet I was able to comply with his lead. It was his skill, not mine, but it was wonderful to be a part of it. The only adulteration to the pleasure was when I happened to see Bud dancing with that biddy from the powder room.
I felt a pang of real disappointment when the music ended, and I have to admit my first glance was toward my dance partner, not a search for Bud.
"Am I forgiven?" Jason asked.
"For what?" I replied breathlessly.
"For causing you such distress earlier. I am truly sorry."
"Oh, um, you couldn’t have known. There is no fault."
"Thank you," he said, now smiling.
He might have been about to ask me to dance again, but before he had the chance, Bud was there. He took my hand without asking and swept me once more into the music.
"It would seem you enjoyed your dance," he said.
"Indeed. Did you have as much fun with your own partner?"
"Oh, yes. Well, perhaps not quite as much fun as you were having, but it was very rewarding."
I let an eyebrow arch up, while not offering a smile to go with it.
"That is Ms. - not Mrs. as she was quick to make clear to me - Angela Boden. Married to a Mr. James Swanner. A woman taking her husband’s last name is so medieval, don’t you know."
"Indeed. She sounds fascinating. Whatever did you find to talk about?"
"You, actually."
"Me?"
Bud’s grin was back to face-damaging width, and I was seriously considering adding some additional damage from my fist when he continued.
"I told her the truth about you. That you were dear friends with my wife,
but closer than a sister to a woman who had recently been killed in an
accident. This was your first evening out since she died, and it had
been quite difficult to talk you into any sort of enjoyment of life
again. By the time we were done, she might have decided you were a
Lesbian, but not any longer a, um, ‘working girl.’"
"A Lesbian?! Oh, um, you know, that might be about as close to true as anything," I said, and then a grin started to pull at my own lips. "Gee, you’d make a good lawyer or something."
"Ya think?" he said, laughing.
"And what was her response?"
"Oh, she was quite contrite. Not. She said all the right words, of course, but you could tell she didn’t really feel any remorse. I guess you’re just too pretty."
"Ha!" I said, but the twinkle in his eyes was reflected in my own, I’m sure. Then I got a positively evil idea.
"Bud, get her husband, what did you say his name was? Get him to dance with me."
"Swanner," Bud repeated. "Why?"
"Do I have to have a reason?" I asked sweetly, just a li’l ol’ country gal askin’ for an unimportant li’l ol’ favor.
He laughed again, but he led us over toward the couples I had decided I wanted to meet. His timing, as usual, was impeccable and we arrived near them just as the dance ended. Dancing in that corset, even with the more sedate style of Bud’s lead, still left me a bit winded and of course, I couldn’t get it back through expanding my abdomen. As a result, it was simply expedience that caused my bosom to undulate slowly up and down as I tried to catch my breath. No one noticed, I’m sure.
Bud nodded at the woman, Ms. Boden, but didn’t say anything. At least, nothing in words. His expression was most eloquent, however. After a long, silent pause, she finally gave in.
"I’m sorry if you found anything I said unpleasant," she said to me.
"I meant nothing by it. And please accept my condolences on your loss."
"Thank you," I said magnanimously. "I’m sure I should have been more respectful of your obvious expertise in such things."
So I was being nasty. Sue me.
Bud interrupted before things went any further with a blatant lie. "I’m a bit winded, but Tami so enjoys dancing, perhaps your husband would keep her happy while I rest."
"I’d be happy to, of course," he said, bowing slightly and holding out his hand. James ("Call me Jim." "Oh, thank you, and I’m Tami.")
Swanner was not a very good dancer. Still, he was a fascinating man. Whatever he said as we danced was sure to cause me to laugh gaily and smile brightly. Even when he stepped on my toes. Twice.
Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and he was leading me back to my official escort for the evening. Who had, coincidentally, recovered and was ready to dance again.
"That was not nice," Bud said as we moved away, but his grin showed no more regret than I felt.
"Well, I never said I was nice," I countered. "Just not for sale."
All that dancing really was killing my feet, though, so I asked if we could sit out the rest of that dance. For a moment, I saw pure mischief in his eyes and I thought he was going to refuse, but he led me to a table and I was finally able to sit.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Oh, yes, that would be heavenly," I sighed. "I think I’d even try a glass of champagne."
"Coming right up," he promised, then moved off.
"Call the police!" I heard a falsely intense voice call out with no real volume.
I turned toward the sound to see Johnathon Layton standing nearby. When he knew he had my attention, he said, "It is surely a crime for such a lovely lady to be all alone among so many men."
"Bud will be back shortly," I promised, hoping it would be true.
"But even a moment with you would seem like an eternity of bliss."
Get the shovels, it’s getting deep in here, I thought. But I didn’t have to say anything since Bud rode to my rescue on cue.
"Here you go," he said, offering me my champagne.
I turned to face him, thereby closing down the angle of access for Layton, and smiled my thanks. Bud continued to be my white knight for the evening and spoke to Layton himself. "Let’s see, you’re um, Brenda Carstairs, right?"
"Yes," Layton replied, tersely.
Bud and I looked blandly out over the dance floor, not complaining about Layton’s presence, but not offering an opening. After a moment, he moved off, obviously in pursuit of other prey.
"That was not fun," I sighed.
"All part of the package," Bud replied. For every, what was his name? For every Jason Michaels, there are probably a dozen Laytons."
"I expect you’re right, but I wish they didn’t all have to sniff after me."
"Still not catching that ‘enjoy the attention of men’ thing, huh?"
"No, not really. I enjoyed dancing with Jason, but that was just the fun of dancing, nothing more. And I’d like to flatten Layton. I may just do it if he comes around again."
"You seemed to have fun when you were dancing with that Swanner guy."
"Seemed is right," I said, rubbing my aching toes on my calf under the table. "He was a terrible dancer."
"So what was all the laughing about?"
"Oh, nothing," I said quickly. Too quickly, really. I knew I had given myself away as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Actually, I suppose Bud knew all the time. He was a good judge of people, especially when they were guilty.
"Okay, I did it to make her jealous."
"So you do enjoy looking pretty."
"Um, yes, now that you mention it, I do. It’s not because I want to attract men, but I did enjoy knowing that women found me attractive, even if it was as a threat."
"Even if?"
"Well, maybe because they thought I was a threat," I admitted with a grin.
Bud’s expression changed like a curtain had been drawn. He said silently for a long moment, then asked, "So, have you found out what you needed to find out?"
"Good question. I wish I knew. But I think I may have. I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to dress this way. I enjoy the attention, even if I don’t think it’s in the same way that Trish did. I’m certainly having more fun as Tami than I was having as Tim, these last couple of months."
"So, are you going to stay Tami?"
"Would it bother you if I did?"
He sat for another long moment, then nodded, "Yes. I’d miss Tim. But I want you to be happy, and if that means you need to be Tami, I’ll be glad for you, and learn to live with it."
"Do you think I’m wrong to do this?"
"No, not really," he answered, and the calmness in his tone made me believe him. "It was wrong for Trish to be taken from you. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and this seems to result in a right for you."
"Thanks, Bud. You’re a real friend."
Bud took the last sip of his champagne and made an obvious transition to get us off that track. "And you’re a real beauty, which makes it easier to enjoy having you around.
"Why thank you, kind sir. It’s nice of you to notice. A girl likes to be appreciated."
"Really? Gee, maybe I ought to call Layton back."
"You wouldn’t dare," I said, laughing along with him. I finished off my own champagne and reached for my purse. He helped me with my chair, then helped me to stand when I almost fell.
"What’s wrong?"
"These damn shoes," I said through gritted teeth. "They’re killing my feet. It was okay when I was moving, but now I can hardly walk."
"Maybe we should go."
"Please," I agreed.
Again, I needed his arm more than I wanted to admit as we made our way off the floor. Going up the stairs was both easier and harder than coming down had been. The heels were less of a problem, but the dress was worse.
With his help, I made it without any noticeable disasters and my feet had gotten enough better that I could even stand by myself while he fetched my wrap. Its warmth felt nice as we waited for the car to be brought up, but I appreciated the softness of the car seat even more when I got off my feet again.
Comments
Amanda
Bravo. Such an insightful and thoroughly enjoyable episode. Waiting with anticipation for much more of this story.❤️💁♀️
David Foster
It was so descriptive and intense as Tami navigated the two envious women and the men on the dance floor all those characters interplaying and Bud was such a good friend always there with just the rightly timed word. It was exciting to “watch” and now it is going to be just as interesting to see Lonna and Katy (who we left with some unspoken thoughts on her face as Tami left for her evening. Much, much here…
My Freeze
Wow, Dear Brianna Demonet, how did you read my mind. I have the same thoughts and questions. I must say our author has a great imagination and highly developed skill, to express our girls thoughts and emotions in such a flowing and charming manor.
Brianna Demonet
Tami is on a real journey of self-discovery. I have a feeling a new chapter is about to open for her. I wonder how Lonna will fit in. I would love to see a romance blossom between the two of them. Maybe a sweet dream of Trish encouraging Tami to remain Tami. With Tim being a writer, maybe another book will be written by Tami, with Tami's picture on the dust jacket.
