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They Think I am a Woman! - Part 8
🕑 Added 2025-06-24 13:59:32 +0000 UTCI looked on in horror as Davis got nearer and nearer.
At the last second, Jeeves went off to the left, and Davis and his ‘guest’ sat down at a table about 20 feet from us.
I breathed a sigh of relief. I couldn't believe the bad luck I was having. Not only did I have to come back to the one restaurant that I had shown myself up at, by pouring beer over Davis, but here he was in the living (and I mean that in the loosest sense) flesh!
‘How does anyone want to go out with Davis?’ said Sheila, incredulously.
I shrugged my shoulders; my vocal cords were still paralysed with fear.
Sheila saw my concern.
‘Don’t worry, hon, he’s only got eyes for his friend.’
I looked over and saw what Sheila meant. His piggy eyes were fixed on the girls’ rather ample breasts, and he seemed oblivious to anything else except the drink in his hand. He downed what appeared to be a double whisky in quick time and hollered at the waiter for more, showing himself up, as usual.
I sort of made myself as small as possible, as I didn’t want to be noticed, and proceeded to slide down the seat a bit.
‘What are you doing, Toni?’
‘He could see me from there if he takes his eyes off her tits for long enough.’
‘I told you, he will never recognise you looking like that. Hell, I had to look twice back at the salon, and I knew what was being done to you.’
‘Do you mean that you knew about having my ears pierced?’
‘Um, er, yes. You needed them done, and I thought that you would be pleased.’
‘I am, I mean I’m not sure. I don’t know. It’s almost like another step into irretrievable girlhood.’
‘That sounds heavy.’
‘It is. I know I like what I look like as a girl, and I am getting more comfortable with it. Despite all that has happened to me since you persuaded me to try it out, but…’
‘But, what?’
‘It still feels wrong. Boys are boys, and girls are girls. I have a willy remember, you don’t.’
‘What has that got to do with it?’
‘Well, I haven’t got the equipment to be a girl.’
‘Agreed, but you can change. You can do as little or as much as you want. You can stay as you are and just dress like a girl, or you can go a bit further and take hormones, develop your own breasts and a more feminine body, or you can go the whole way and have a sex change operation.’
‘I don’t know if I could go that far.’
‘It’s early yet. You have only just started wearing the clothes. Quite frankly, if you wanted any more yet, I would be worried about it. Take your time; see how your interview goes. You can get advice as well. I do know from Bridgt that you have to go through hoops before you can even think about any radical changes.
Suddenly, I could smell something nasty. I looked up and there he was, swaying over us. We had been so wrapped up in our conversation that we had forgotten all about The Creep.
‘Where’s the loo, darlin?’
He looked like he was four sheets to the wind. His breath was stale and smelt of whisky, fags and rotten eggs. I nearly gagged as I pointed over to the toilets.
Davis tottered over and nearly fell through the door leading to the toilet.
I could see Jeeves hovering around, looking very worried. He was obviously concerned about Davis.
‘’How can anyone show themselves up like tha?’’ said Sheila. ‘Let’s hope that the waiter chucks him out.’
We carried on eating our food, not saying much, but in the back of my mind, I was concerned about all that was happening to me in such a short space of time and whether I could cope with the fast-approaching interview.
There was a loud bang, and we glanced over and could see it was Davis, crashing through the door from the toilets.
Instead of going back to his table, he lurched straight over to us!
‘I knew it,’ he said in a slurred voice, looking straight at a bemused Sheila. ‘It’s Sheila Jones. I thought I recognised you. I didn’t know that you could afford this joint. What’s this, your girlfriend? Have I seen you before,e luv? You look very familiar. A bit like that Tony whatshisname and that daft sister of his. Can’t be her, she’s not as pretty as you, my dear.’
‘Go away, Davis, before you cause a scene,’ said Sheila angrily.
‘Piss off. I’m talking to your girlfriend. Is that it, are you lesbians, and is that why you can’t keep a boyfriend, Sheila?’
I didn’t think. I stood up and slapped him on the face, hard.
He fell over as if pole-axed, knocking over a table and two chairs and making a hell of a racket.
Then his ‘friend’ tottered over on her incredibly high heels, took one look at him and said, ‘That’s it, Shain. I’ve had enough of you. To think that I threw up a good relationship with a window cleaner just go out with a piss artist like you. I’m off.’
With that, she minced out without a backward glance, as Davis struggled to get up.
Jeeves and a burly-looking chef with a menacing meat cleaver in his hand helped the bemused Davis to his feet.
‘Please leave, Mr Davis, before I call the Police,’ said a rather upset Jeeves.
‘Alright, I’m going. But I want you out of my flat, Sheila, now!’
Sheila smiled slightly as she said.’ I don’t think so. I know where you live and I also know your wife. Does she know what you get up to? I bet she doesn’t.’
With that, he turned a slightly green colour and with a bemused look on his face, was escorted from the premises accompanied by loud clapping and a few boos from the clientele and staff alike.
Sheila looked at me with amusement.
‘What?’
‘Well, Toni. Did you enjoy slapping him?’
‘I didn’t think.’
‘It was a very girly thing to do. Boys usually punch.’
‘Shut up, Sheila, and eat your ice cream.’
Things quietened down a bit, but I was still unhappy.
‘Sheila.’
‘Hmm?’
‘I don’t like it that Davis is cheating on his wife.’
‘Oh, don’t worry, she works at the hospital as an administrator. That’s how I got the flat. She told her husband about me.’
‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘Well, as I said, I know her and we have had a few chats about her darling hubby. She already knows what he’s like. In fact, she is getting enough evidence to take him to the cleaners through the divorce court.’
Sheila laughed evilly.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Well, since she found out about his philandering, she’s been going out with this rather dishy doctor…’
After the meal, we went to the Pictures to see Legally Blonde with Reese Witherspoon. I didn’t think I would like it, but I nded up laughing my head off!
We arrived back at the flat without incident (thank God!).
I was getting more comfortable wearing girls' clothes, and sometimes I went all of five minutes without thinking about what I was wearing.
It was quite late, by then, so we got ready for bed and sat around in our nighties, talking until bedtime.
As my head touched the pillow, I marvelled at the feel of my hair, the silky smoothness of my satin nightie, and the fact that I felt more at peace with myself than I had in a long time.
The next day was Sunday, and I lay in bed until late. Sheila was at work, so I had the place to myself, and there was no need to rush.
Eventually, I got up, went to the loo, had a shower, and got dressed. I put on a denim skirt and white blouse. The clothes were comfortable and not too girly. It was strange, but I was getting so used to wearing girls’ stuff that I didn’t think much about it. It was getting ‘normal’, whatever that is. I brushed out my hair. Lu, it hadn’t really lost its shape overnight, so it still looked great.
I had some cornflakes, toast and a cup of tea. Aft, er that, I read one of Sheila’s glossy women’s mags. After that, I watched a couple of videos, had some lunch, and then snoozed on the sofa. It wasn’t very exciting, but I’d had enough excitement to last a lifetime over the past we,ek and I needed a rest.
I awoke to the sound of the door opening.
‘Hi Toni.’
‘Oh, hello Sheila, nice day at work?’
‘Same as usual. Kids with things stuck up their nose, drunks who like singing off-key and then getting abusive, and people who stick their hands in lawn mowers before the blade stops. In fact, there was this bloke who managed to get this bottle stuck up …’
‘Yuk, don’t finish, I do not want to know.’
‘Yes, it can get messy up there. I’m going for a shower. Fancy going to the Dog and Duc for a drink and a basket meal? My treat.’
‘You can’t keep paying for me.’
‘You can pay next time, provided you get that job.’
‘I’m still not happy about going out like this.’ I said, waving at my girly appearance.
Sheila looked at me in exasperation.
‘What day is it, Toni?’
‘Sunday, of course.’
‘When is your interview?’
‘Um, tomorrow.’
‘Right, you need all the practice you can get if you want to pass. You are good. Hell, when I look at you, I can only see the girliest girl a girl can be. But, you need to act like a girl, feel like a girl, and above all BE a girl. You can only do that with practice, practice, practice. Can you get that through your thick skull?’
‘No need to get personal,’ I said with a sniff.
With that, she sighed, shook her head, mumbled to herself, and went into the bathroom.
As you can tell, gentle and patient reader, I was still a bit reluctant about going out dressed as a girl. In the back of my mind, I had the thought that I might be exposed as a man in drag. However, I also realised that I had an interview tomorrow and I just had to get used to being dressed this w, ay or I had no hope of pulling it off.
An hour later, I had changed into what Sheila called more suitable attire and I found myself in the car with Sheila, trying to stop my new leather skirt riding up towards my bum and my skimpy pink top from riding up to my false boobies. Sheila winnto her racing car mode, screeching around corners and generally being her normal reckless self. Easy to do at thirty miles an hour when you have a wreck of a car with dodgy brakes and bald tires.
I was amazed that we were not stopped by the police, but they must have been having their coffee break or something.
‘For god’s sake, slow down!’ I said in desperation.
‘This isn’t fast, don’t be a wimp.’
‘At least I’ll be an alive wimp.’
After what seemed to be an hour but was probably only ten minutes, we arrived at the Dog and Duck.
I shakily got out of the car and hesitantly walked towards the pub entrance.
Sheila, in her usual, brash self self-assured way, chatted to me as if this was nothing unusual. You know, a bloke in a skirt and skimpy top, walking into a pub, ready to be torn limb from limb by a bar full of lager louts and other degenerates.
As I walked into the pub, I expected there to be a hushed silence, followed by laughter, then the sound of my screaming as I was torn limb from limb by the loveable cockney patrons of the Dog and Duck.
Nothing happened, I was ignored, I lie, I wasn’t ignored by the man who brushed by me and gave my bottom a quick squeeze as he passed me, but we will leave that aside.
I sat in the corner as inconspicuously as possible as Sheila fought her way to the bar to get us some drinks.
A young man walked over to me, all teeth, slicked down hair, and smelling industrial-strength aftershave. He was carrying a nearly full pint of beer.
‘Hi, darling, what are you doing in a place like this?’
‘Waiting for my friend.’ I squeaked.
‘You don’t want to do that, love. Let me take you away from all this and give you a good time.’
‘I’m not that sort of girl.’ I said, thinking I’m not any sort of girl, really.
‘Don’t worry, my love, my intentions are honourable. I never shag on the first date, unless you want to?’ he said hopefully.
I looked him up and down, took in his cheesy grin, his shirt with the top three buttons undone, out-of-date medallion on heavy gold chain glinting in the dim light on his hairy chest mat, and said the first witty thing that came to mind.
‘Piss off.’
Unbeknownst to me, Shiela had arrived with the drinks, and as she passed medallion man, she ‘accidentally’ joggled his elbow, and half his beer landed down his shirt.
‘Oooh, sorry love, I didn’t see you there!’
Exit one slightly wet poser.
Sheila sat down, looked at m,e and smiled.
‘What?
‘I don’t know, leave you for five minutes and you start chatting up the local talent.’
I could feel myself go red.
‘He came over to me.’ I said indignantly.
‘I know, I’m only joking, silly.’
I took a swig at my drink ,and Sheila immediately started to have a go.
‘Tonwell-refinedned girls do not drink like builders, they sip their drinks.’
‘Sorry, I’m thirsty.’ I said, taking a more girly gulp.
‘Seriously, though, you need to wise up on things. Take that bloke who was chatting you up.’
‘What of it?’
You look nice and feminine, neat, and your voice is great considering your handicap.’
‘What handicap?’
‘Your male voice. The fact is that you may get clocked as a man if you speak like one. You have a lovely soft voice, but if you speak too loudly, it still sounds a bit manly and shouting ‘piss off’ to every man who comes up to you with a chat up line will get you deep in the doo doo.’
‘Sorry, I panicked.’
‘You have to realise that despite what you think, you are attractive and you will attract men like bees around honey.’
‘How do I get out of getting pestered?
‘First, you wear an engagement ring. It keeps most of the pests away. I have some spares at home.’
‘How many times have you been engaged?’
‘Never mind that. Then, if anyone comes up to you, flash your ring about a bit and just say that your fiancé is a bouncer at the Black Cat Cl,ub and he is a very jealous man. If that doesn’t work,ork and occasionally men are stupid enough not to take a hint, I have some nice stuff you can spray them with. It doesn’t normally blind them. I have a supply back at home.’
‘Has anyone ever told you that for aa girl you are a wee bit aggressive?’
,
‘Look honey, when you have worked on A&E for as long as I have, you need to be able to look after yourself.’
We sat and drank for an hour or so. Then we left the pub.
As we turned the corner, Sheila stopped me.
‘Look, over by the car. Oh bugger.’
I looked over to see what she was talking about. There was a police car nearby, and two policemen were looking very carefully at it. It was our old friends Mick and Dave.
‘God, those two do get around. Come on, er let's catch a taxi.’
‘What about your car?
‘Don’t worry, it’s er not mine actually. It’s my ex-boyfriend, may he rot in Hell.’
‘Does he know you still have it?
‘Course he does, silly. After he went off with that damn woman, I decided to carry on using it. I don’t think he had the balls to ask for it back. Anyway, it’s got duff tyres and stuff like that. I was only using it till I could get another one for myself.’
‘Won’t the police prosecute for having duff tyres?’
‘Yup.’
‘And the car is still owned by him and in his name?’
‘Yes.’
‘You are evil, Sheila.’
We hailed a passing taxi, and in no time, we were home.
I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on my bed. I was knackered.
I didn’t do much the rest of the evening. We had a pizza takeaway delivered and after I paid off the pimply, leering 17 year old who only had eyes for my faux breasts, we settled down to watch a movie. It was another one of those girly-type chick flick films. I didn’t take it in much as I was getting increasingly wound up over my interview tomorrow.
Eventually, it was time for bed, and I had a dream about my mum and dad, of all things. They were alive. I was only ten or eleven, and we were eating our breakfast around the kitchen table.
My mum was talking about me.
‘Well only, are you looking forward to your new school?’
‘Yes, mummy.’
‘That’s good. Daddy and I thought it best that you go to an all-girls school. We don’t want you to have to deal with boys until you are a bit older.’
I was puzzled at that.
‘But Mummuy, I am a boy.’
Daddy nearly choked on his cornflakes, a nd Mum may just have laughed.
‘Well, that's a good one, Toni.. I’ve never seen a boy look like you.’
I started crying, and I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
I turned around and saw my reflection.
I was a girl. I was wearing a posh girl, uniform comprising a pinafore dress, white blouse and tie, white stockings and black shiny shoes. Then I realised that I was being silly, of course I was a girl. A pretty girl with long blond hair and eyes of blue eyes. I smiled and giggled as I sat on the toilet and did my stuff.
I flushed the toilet and rubbed my eyes. I was so tired.
Then I woke up with a start. Sheila was nudging me.
‘Wake up, sleepy, you only have two hours before your interview, and we need all that time to get you ready.
The hazewarm feeling left, as my dream faded and reality slapped me around the face like a wet fish.
‘Oh God,’ I thought. ‘This is it. The day of my interview. Would I get away with it?’
Comments
Alexandra Shiach
What's with all the commas in the middle of words?
My Freeze
Wow, I like it, dialog is great. Toni and Sheila have great sarcastic voles. Toni's slap of the sleaze bag and the whole scene was great. Toni seems to to be getting the hang of being a girl.
