Chapter 162: A Pig, A Rat, and Thomas Potter
🕑 Added 2024-06-22 20:17:34 +0000 UTC...
Place: Copper House
Time: Two days after Ludwig (Squirrel) arrived
"All right, so let me understand you correctly..." Alexander sighed, looking at the summary he had written and propping his head up on his fist, "...you stole a watermelon, had sex with it, and brought it back, apologizing. The vendor took it back, only to later sell it to a customer who was surprised when eating. This customer returned and created an uproar, resulting in multiple destroyed stands and mass brawls ensuing. Further..."
Sitting in one of the barren rooms where Alexander would judge, two of those he mentioned in the summary were before him. They were also sitting, but much less casually, and had an air of regret and shame around them when he read aloud, emphasizing certain words to show the depravity.
The vendor was a snake kin, most likely some cobra kin because of the rattling sound from her tail. However, he wasn't too sure since a similar sound came from her mouth when she breathed loudly. She was around 150 years old, with darkish brown and bluish teeth, a sign of excessive smoking of cheap cigarettes.
However, she obviously never thought about going to the Temple once in God knows how many years, making the overdue procedure more time-intensive when she had an emergency, wasting essential resources.
Alexander hated such people, slowly understanding politicians who gave their sweat and blood to create valuable services only so they would be ignored until the last moment, making them much more strained and less worthwhile for everyone else.
Wolfsteeth's analogy to healthcare was the Temple and the Healer Union. He could always threaten Green, forcing her to let her services stay free, with her sometimes advertising now that it was due to him, seeing now the importance of having an amiable opinion of him on the broader public. The same was true for the Healer Union, with him paying them to provide free services every morning and advertise his name a bit.
Looking into the eyes of the thief, who immediately blushed, it seemed that Alexander's reputation wasn't too bad. His only worry was now where he was the most popular.
The thief was a young female hyena kin, around fifteen or sixteen. Besides blushing, she also looked ashamed and fearful, not knowing what would happen. In Alexander's eyes, she was young, thus dumb, and prone to making stupid decisions with whatever floated her boat.
"...now we are here after someone chopped someone else's hand off because they were called, and I quote an ass-sniffing retard. Is this so far correct?"
Both nodded, not daring to say anything. Fortunately, most of Alexander's accused ones were relatively timid after rumors went around that he was a strict judge. However, he didn't want to be like this but was forced to, knowing he was observed from every possible angle.
Besides his Mother, or rather her people and Lili, who would never leave him alone, there was also now his Master, the Count, who accepted Bartholomew's and Nila's proposal, making it a one-of-a-kind thing in the world of Moorgrelian law, which threw a lot of eyes on him.
His Master was also intrigued by him, seeing that it was genuinely rare for someone to go through an early noblesse oblige. He congratulated him on such a success and mentioned that he would await his rise, observing the progress he would make.
While it sounded like a friendly encouragement, it raised Alexander's paranoia to the next level, making him take his job as a judge more seriously.
As such, this was his third case today, and he needed to do more for his early noblesse oblige. He wanted to go beyond what was required, not wanting to give any chance for criticism, fearing that if he slacked in any way, he could start something unnecessary.
Seeing how the eerily silent and slight pressure created by his aura made them incredibly uncomfortable, almost breaking down, he wanted to make his judgment. However, he still needed clarification about the practicality of this particular case.
"I don't get one thing you can explain to me. How would anyone find out that you..." He nodded toward the female hyena-kin, "...had sex with a watermelon? Only rubbing against it wouldn't alert anyone, right?"
The room became silent, with everyone looking down, even the guards and his assistant, not daring to say anything, only for him to become more confused.
"What?"
A guard approached him, whispering, "Mr. Alexander, the hyena-kin probably penetrated the watermelon with her genitals."
Alexander repeatedly switched between the guard, the hyena kin, and the case's initial information, ultimately looking at her and saying, confused, "So, you are a guy?"
The guard didn't leave, still whispering, "No, the hyena kin is a woman, but the females of this subrace sometimes have a penis and a vagina at the same time."
Alexander raised an eyebrow, shrugging it off. He was not really surprised anymore. There were far more crazier things in this world, with this being, at most, an aha moment of short curiosity.
"Huh, the more you know..." but became frustrated again, "...wait... if you penetrated the watermelon..." He looked at the vendor, "...how couldn't you see a hole?"
The vendor became nervous, rasping through her teeth and non-available fangs, "I... sssaw it."
Alexander sighed, having heard enough, "Okay, Red, your penalty for thievery will be..."
While he spoke his judgment, it was again one of those days, with him having only degenerates in his court. It was mostly a waste of time, but if he wanted to avoid wasting twenty years, he needed to endure it.
"...and you, Yttor, your penalty for knowingly selling such faulty produce will be..."
Alexander's disappointment and agony made him question whether he wanted to work at the higher courts in the following year. Half of his work was bureaucracy, which made him hate his life. While bureaucracy was the backbone of any complex civilization, it was still like a dagger in his back, slowly turning and twitching with every record he needed to write.
If he continued the path and became a judge of the Star Court, he would start to judge tax evasions and murder cases; he would need to write so many useless reports that he would rather hang himself endlessly, choking without any end in sight.
"...with this, we are done. Now go and..." He looked at the hyena-kin, "...if you really want to have intercourse with diverse fruits, suit yourself, but you should buy them, which..." He turned to the vendor, "...means that you should sell only things of a certain standard."
He sighed, dismissing them while rubbing the place between his eyebrows, "Both of you, pay the fine and damages you created and leave."
While the guards escorted them to pay or get a slip so they would pay later, Alexander was still sitting, quickly writing down the case with his ink ball and documenting it with his opinion and basis for the penalty as precisely as possible.
After finishing, he quickly left the room, giving all his documents to his new assistant. He had too much on his plate and needed to finish all the black powder and accessories required to use it safely.
However, his assistant still followed him, "Mr. Alexander, please wait a moment!"
Alexander stopped in the middle of the entrance hall and resigned himself to a chat, "Yes? How can I help you? Are your pups healthy again?"
She exhaled and inhaled, being not used to almost running behind him. However, after catching her breath, she quickly bowed down, "Thank you. They are well. I just wanted to say that I have some letters, which..." Alexander interrupted his assistant he had stolen from Aurum, "...put them into my office. I am done with every case for the next two weeks."
She straightened up, holding a convert looking like a leaf, "No, this is from the Temple."
Alexander took it, asking, "Anything else?"
She shook her head with him, dismissing her, "Go home and enjoy the time with your pups. See you in two weeks..." As she was about to ask, he quickly answered her question, "...all paid and get them to the Temple at my costs. If they get that sick so often, they may have something more serious."
She bowed down again, much deeper now, "Thank you, Mr. Alexander!"
Alexander, though, was already opening the letter, dismissing her, "Yeah, yeah, have a fun vacation."
Getting a letter from Green was a rarity. Usually, they would meet once a week and have a screaming match. As such, receiving correspondence from her meant that something very good or bad happened, with him needing to be there as fast as possible since she couldn't come herself for an inexplicable reason.
His smile became increasingly wider when he started reading the letter, which meant it was good news, "At last! Who knew those treehuggers were so slow!"
After the first paragraph of nonsensical fluff, it described that the schematics, meaning the one for the train, had arrived. Alexander had waited for this for a very long time, hoping they would arrive soon, especially in the last days.
Since he would invite almost every family, including the Cold-Snouts, again, he could inspect those plans, rewrite them, and send them back to their parents, together with a plan, making it look like a proposition and gift.
If he could convince at least his neighbors to start building the tracks, flattening and analyzing the land or whatever was needed for a Thomas Potter, the magical tank engine, it would mean that he could quicken the industrial progress.
For this, though, he hoped he could somehow understand the stuff from the dwarves and gnomes, somehow repurposing it for his land. He had a bad feeling about it, thinking there was a good reason why they didn't have those machines while others had.
Alexander was very giddy, barely able to contain his happiness. As such, he hurried, quickly walking to the exit of the Cophy, never losing his smile. While there was a specific drive to help and develop the world, his ego was also slowly beginning to like the increased attention.
As Alexander was about to exit the Cophy, deeply in his daydreams, Otto stopped him, "Good day, Mr. Alexander. Do you have some time for me?"
He didn't stop, waving at Otto to follow him, "Sure, come with me. I have an appointment at the Temple."
Otto immediately followed, smiling like always, "Oh, with Green?"
Walking outside, Alexander quickly walked to his carriage, "Yeah, she has something for me."
As he walked outside, he saw multiple shadows with a mana signature observing him, probably from the camp. He saw they tried to protect him, creating an additional layer of defense besides the soldiers at his side.
It was understandable since he was basically their only way to get any territory. It was cute. However, he always marked them with a spell, warning them if they got too cocky, trying to stay inside Cophy or anything they weren't allowed.
As a nonfighter, Otto didn't notice them, continuing his joyful chatting, "Hm, how are you, Mr. Alexander? I noticed that you were absent and rather tired lately?"
Alexander sighed, smiling as it became too obvious, with him occasionally taking a nap in his office, "Yeah, there's a lot to do, many things to make, and girls to seduce."
Otto sounded intrigued, but also chuckling, "A Secret?"
"Very so, as I would just complain about it. This much you should know."
Otto's tone became slightly more serious, "Well, what I want to talk about is something very private, too."
Standing before his carriage, the coachman walked to him and opened the door. Alexander invited him, not wanting to waste any time, "Let's have it in the carriage, then. Nothing is more secure than a hollow metallic brick on four wheels."
Actually, this was somewhat true, disguised as a joke. Alexander's carriage could even block a straight hit from his Mother, making only a giant dent. His family was always a bit more possessive and clingy with their puppies. Thus, security was the most important aspect.
However, as seen, there were giant blindspots, like with his attempted assassination, since they were much calmer on their turf and would not expect someone crazy to attack him. Ultimately, the culprit was punished while he was still thinking if the camp was directly behind that attack.
Alexander wasn't stupid, ignoring such an obvious detail but cautious enough to understand that it was a variable he couldn't explain, thus not wanting to say it out loud. The night elves who attacked him could've been from the camp, directly commanded to get Patricia's head.
However, they were more likely rogues who fled, wanting a better life in the underworld. They could also be a wholly different group of night elves. While there weren't many visiting them, some came from other territories, working and studying here. The variable was too broad.
As such, what would Alexander do if he found out that his allies tried to kill him? If he wanted to be part of the political arena, it didn't matter. For now, they were his allies, and revenge or vengeance never helped anyone, especially not if no life was lost. Still, having more information would be nice since one never knew when one could use it.
Sitting down, Alexander wanted to get to the point quickly, not knowing what had happened, "So, what is the problem? Too few and small donuts? I thought you all liked them."
Business 101. To get liked by others, buy some cheap and yummy food once in a while and share it with everyone. They would see the one in a much more positive light—bonus points for tasty vegan junk food, or in this case, highly diverse food.
Otto chuckled, "Those were very tasty, but this is not why I wanted to talk to you..." He became serious, "...Mr. Alexander, do you know why your Mother, the Lady, chose Noriken as a retainer?"
Alexander leaned back, expecting the talk, but it came very early. He would let him do his spiel, being curious what he would say, "No, tell me."
Otto smiled, straightening up, "Simple, he had integrity. He never acquiesced to her whims, always staying firm and telling it like it is, even sometimes going against her."
Alexander smiled, already knowing it, "Is that so?"
Noriken, Aro, Cross, and Salyna were excellent retainers. While his Mother had few very close aides, the quality was overwhelming. Together with her, they made the city much more livable, building an economic powerhouse far from the shadow it was under his Grandmother's mismanagement.
Otto leaned forward, "But you knew it, Mr. Alexander, and of course also that I wanted to become your retainer, isn't that so?"
Alexander chuckled, putting one leg over the other, "Sharp, aren't we today?"
However, the atmosphere became suddenly serious, his smile vanishing, "You know me, my family, my skills, and my integrity, with which I fulfill my work. I will not beg or crawl to be your aide. I only need an answer."
Alexander, though, ignored the severe atmosphere, "First, tell me why. I need your motivation since..." He shrugged, not caring, "...everyone knows my politics are a little outside the norm. Nobody sane would want to be my retainer, so why?"
Otto rolled his eyes, leaning back, "Isn't it obvious?"
Alexander became confused, raising an eyebrow, "Well, not for me, apparently."
Otto smiled widely, "I have no idealogy. I want wealth, honor, and prestige. I do not need to discuss philosophy, theology, or ethics. I will follow the law, write it as well as I can, and want to become part of the nobility, not wanting to lose my family name..."
Alexander really didn't know Otto, apparently. He was what one could describe as a career politician, not caring about who he would serve; he was only looking to fulfill his duty and get the most out of it.
Otto gestured dismissively, disregarding his occupation's thousand years of pride and honor with his following words, "I don't care about all those scholars sitting at their dusty desks, trying to argue the axioms of law and their true sense or those who give their lives for a dream. I, though, have the loyalty and will choose my Master carefully, knowing my worth fully."
"Obviously, you want me to know your worth, too, right?"
Otto nodded, "Of course! I am not just any retainer! Besides my excellent skills, I have practiced the mannerisms of nobility, knowing how to orient myself in those circles. Furthermore, I am knowledgable about central Mal-Gil, being someone who could help Mr. Alexander should his dreams become great enough."
Otto's smile widened, and the atmosphere became tense, "Will I share your liberalistic ideal, Mr. Alexander? No! However..." He bowed slightly forward, "...I will stay loyal until my last breath. What I believe should be the only thing of your concern."
Alexander clapped, "Fine speech! Did you actually prepare it?"
Otto straightened up, smirking slightly, "Of course! Which idiot wouldn't at least do it once before a mirror to test it?"
The carriage suddenly halted with the coachman yelling, "We are at the Temple!"
"Perfect timing..." Alexander stood up, looking down at Otto, "...I want you..." Otto smiled, becoming excited, "...but, before you swear loyalty to me, breaking your damn judge contract with Noriken, I want you to speak with a couple of my people, and only after that come back to me and give me your final answer."
Otto looked perplexed toward Alexander, "With whom exactly?"
The carriage door opened, and he walked out, still speaking, "If you want to be a retainer, talk with Aurum, Ocilia, Ariana, Quill, Melina, Maurice, Linuel, and Narsiz. Let them tell you about their lives, and when you are done, come back to me. Got it?"
Otto bowed down, "Thank you for the chance!"
"Don't. You will see that life isn't as easy, but do this in a week or so. Right now, they are very busy."
"Of course!"
Alexander looked at the coachmen, "Get him where he needs to be and come back."
Closing the carriage door, he walked to the Temple, not knowing if Otto was genuinely interested. While his rationale was acceptable, and his skills were undoubtedly there, along with a great deal of integrity and some sarcasm, his goals did not correspond to the amount of work he was to sign up for, even if he would get royally paid for it.
Sighing, doubting Otto would want to join him after talking to his other retainers who were about to implode or burn out.
'Whatever happens, happens.'
Putting this to the back of his mind, he was now before the Temple in Wolfsteeth, a place where all kinds of people practiced the Circle of Nature religion.
In the middle of an enormous plaza, with only earth and a lot of greenery around, there was a giant tree right in the middle that emitted natural energy like there was no tomorrow but could barely counteract the miasma in the air, only protecting itself and the ones inside.
Before touching the earth, which had no pavement, he needed to take off his shoes, a sign of respect, which even the ruler needed to do. Afterward, he also rolled up his pants, trying to look more fashionable, which never worked, denying him the skill [Fashion Sense] again.
Walking toward the enormous tree, he saw many younglings playing around, kissing, and doing other things that he decided to ignore since it wasn't vegetable-based. However, most of the people were waiting in line before the Temple.
Some were sick, some were as a pair there, obviously wanting to marry, and others were very old, probably needing some words of encouragement as they most likely feared death.
'Grandpa will not die in the next minutes, and I am in a hurry.'
Usually, Alexander would stand in line with everyone else, wanting to appear to respect the Temple dearly. It was a religious organization that gave his subjects peace of mind, something he couldn't disrespect.
However, Alexander skipped the line this time, immediately walking to the front since he was in a hurry. However, when he walked past all the commoners, they all greeted him very nicely, bowing down but mostly staring at his feet for some inexplicable reason. He greeted them back with a smile and greetings, trying to come over as friendly as possible.
Clank
Walking through a very simple double door, he was inside and saw the usual business. A Temple had many tasks to fulfill. For one, it was a place of peace and silence used to meditate or pray, whatever one liked to use more to get a clearer head.
Alexander looked around, fascinated by this mess of architectural design. Since the tree was used as it was, all the space wasn't built inside but freed, creating new space throughout.
The inner life of this giant tree was built like a vertical bee nest, with rooms on the side and a massive column in the middle, which also had space for various areas.
To his front was something akin to information reception, in the form of a treant who merged with the tree, able to control certain things like the light from all the annoying fireflies around him or, in case of an attack, also use the ginormous branches on the outside to flatten probably a dragon.
Alexander, like always, greeted him with a smile, "Hey, Frank? How are your wife and kids?"
The treant, though, wasn't amused. With sound coming from all around, his voice sounded like the screeching and rubbing of wood on wood, guttural and raspy, full of wrath.
"I said to stop calling me this name! I am Alvinor Theirodor Symo..." Alexander interrupted him, "Gotcha, Frank..." He turned away, saying his goodbyes, "...see ya later."
The screeching intensified, but no insult came, as Alexander knew he had some perks in being the son of a Druid, one of the few highly respected occupations inside the Temple.
Alexander walked to a staircase, trying to remember the way to Green's office since navigating through the Temple was disgustingly complicated. There were too many branches, making him feel like a moron for not knowing her office.
On his way through an earthy corridor, he sometimes tried to greet the nature-dwellers, but they mostly ignored him. The reason wasn't that they had no respect; it was instead that they could barely distinguish beast-kin. It was understandable, though, that a walking meter-long mushroom would be unable to differentiate the people of his race since Alexander couldn't do the same with his.
"Hrm, all those animals... getting sick, why not get sick somewhere else... hrm."
The grumbling mushroom could have been more friendly regarding his race, which Alexander ignored, not knowing if this was genuinely racism or just hate for using his people for soup—questions for later.
However, besides insects and annoying plants, which made him almost trip with every third step, Alexander believed it was Frank's payback, with him now knowing that treants could be petty.
He also saw many people doing their thing, which gave him a solemn moment to contemplate how short life was. They were marrying, getting healed, giving birth, or there were some very sensitive nature-dwellers, no mushrooms, giving the almost dead comfort in their last moments, talking with them, sitting by their side.
Seeing this, Alexander liked his religion but didn't understand it. He never really learned theology, mostly following his Mother's footsteps and seeing it as a necessity for his subjects, but nothing more.
Alexander sighed, starting to wander through this maze again, having no time to waste. Arriving at Green's door, it looked as simple as everything else. There was no fancy fine engraving, embellished flowers, or decoration.
The Temple always reflected its locality, never drifting away from it. Because of that, it looked like that. A very simple and filled-up tree with dangerous and ugly plants and insects. Moorgrelian's nature wasn't too inviting, and most plants were pretty poisonous.
'At least they are consistent.'
Alexander opened the door toward Green's office and immediately saw a rat sitting on a chair. Alexander slowly readied himself, still holding his shoes and walking toward it.
He spoke deep and quietly, preparing to squash it, "I told you, all the dirt attracts vermin."
...
Words: ~4100
