Matthew Nesheim
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Chapter 30: Calista - Is This a Party or What?
🕑 Added 2023-10-20 04:46:07 +0000 UTCAs the two guardsmen then meandered down the walkway, Calista could hear them trading barbs as they rounded the corner. Watching them go, Lefty’s voice took on a satisfied tone, “Well, I really showed them, didn’t I?”
It was in this moment that a number of unimpressed quacks came from the vicinity of Calista’s feet and she looked down to see the duck standing next to a puddle.
Lefty addressed the duck, “Well I didn’t hear you saying anything of use. So if don’t care for what I said then perhaps you need to contribute more the next time we’re dealing with the locals.”
The duck ignored him.
Grumner gave Calista a worried glance, “Uh, is he talking to the duck?”
Calista’s eyes traveled from Lefty to the duck, “I don’t know …”
“Well, I suppose I’ll have to introduce you.” Lefty said as he gestured from Calista to the duck. “Calista, this is my companion Feathers. Feathers, this is my friend Calista.”
Calista pointed over her shoulder, “Yeah, uhm … this is Grumner. He’s a ranger.” Calista then put her hands on her hips as she faced the mage. “Lefty, just how the hell did you end up here?”
“I was actually about to ask you the same thing,” Lefty replied.
“Did you wake up in the middle of a field with a lady in stewardess outfit telling you to make your character?” She asked.
“No, I woke up in a bush with the duck standing on top of me,” Lefty nodded to Feathers who quacked. “Then there was an ogre and a bunch of goblins and a bear and we had to run for our lives for a bit and thenthe lady in the stewardess outfit showed up and told us something about how we’re in a real game world and everything now and I have to say that I really don’t have a high opinion of this entire endeavor. It seems to me that someone needs to take care of this goblin problem and if that someone ends up including me, then I don’t know if I have a lot of confidence in the management around here.”
Calista looked him over. “It looks like you made yourself a wizard again?”
“I didn’t make myself anything,” said Lefty. “The Attendant pretty much said, ‘Hey, you’re stuck here and you’re a wizard and you suck and so good luck.’”
Obviously not a V.I.P. Which means he’s either a regular player or … she looked down at the white duck standing at his feet. “What’s with the duck?”
“Feathers. His name is Feathers,” Lefty exclaimed. “And before you ask, he’s not my familiar. I don’t have a familiar.”
“And where did Feathers come from?” Calista asked.
Lefty shrugged, “I don’t really know. He was kinda just there when I woke up and we’ve been together ever since As I said, I woke up in that bush with him standing on top of me and then there was the ogre and then the goblins and it was all very chaotic there for a good half an hour before we were able to escape.”
Calista watched the duck as it pecked at the muddy grass, “Does he have any special abilities?”
“Mostly violence and judging people,” Lefty then pointed behind Calista. “Your friend, this Grumner fellow, where did he come from?”
“We met at the village tavern just before this horde of goblins attacked everything. There were … two others who didn’t make it.”
“Oh you mean the village that just burned? Hey! We were there too! That was absolutely awful. I’m pretty sure this captain guy is going to send us out to do something dangerous that involves these goblins. Too obvious if you ask me. And let me tell you, if he does, I’m planning on high tailing it to the nearest city where I can find myself a nice cozy job as a janitor or something. Maybe apprentice to a scribe. Hell, I’d even let someone dress me up as a barmaid so long as it doesn’t involve me running around trying to play hero.”
Below, Feathers let out a sarcastic sounding warble.
“Hey!” Lefty exclaimed. “I accepted that quest on accident.”
Feathers did not respond as he was far too fixated on a snail he had found slinking through the grass. At that very moment, he was deciding whether or not to make the snail into a meal. He had never seen one before and wasn’t sure what it would taste like. Could he suck it out of its shell? Could he eat the shell? What would the shell taste like? Did the shell have any nutritional value? Would the shell hurt when it came out the other end? And what about the creature inside the shell. Was it an animal or a plant? It moved like an animal, but was so slow it might be a plant too. And was it poisonous or was it safe? The creature itself was slimy and green, but it didn’t look poisonous. Poisonous things typically told you they were poisonous with colors like black and yellow or red and yellow and black, but this creature was just green and green things, Feathers had discovered, usually tasted quite good. Feathers tilted his head back and forth as he followed the snail until finally he got up the nerve and decided to chance it. Snatching the snail up in his bill, he sucked the muscle out, spat the shell on the ground, and gobbled the thing down.
It was, indeed, quite tasty. Stomping his feet, he let out a happy honk and went waddling in search of further prey.
